You're not gonna go far, kid.

Hal // Dumbass that does the thing.

[dirkspit]

Hey, I'm Hal. Mental illness blogging is my passion.

[borzoilover69]

A conversation with your brother.

[borzoilover69]

I've always had this feeling that Dirk envies his brother and hates himself for thinking of Dave that way.

( elaboration under the cut )

I’ve always had this headcanon that Dirk is in some ways jealous of Dave, especially after the game. Jealous of the way he seems so great compared to Dirk, with a better life, a lot more friends, and easier to bounce off of and get along with by far, while Dirk struggles to form connections and understand tone cues due to his relatively isolated childhood. In both the alpha and beta universes, he's a hero in Dirks eyes, even if Dave doesn't consider himself one. A hero, that Dirk could never hope to achieve to be.

Dirk has always wanted to be a knight and Dave is a knight, he was “enough”. Where Dirk believed himself to have failed in a way to grant any real damage or order in his void session, Dave pulled a lot of hard work to make sure his counted. In a way it’s a jealousy covered by admiration. He admires Dave so much that he is essentially a pedestal to everything Dirk wants to be and subsequently cant be. The way he talks, the way he walks, all the friends he has that Dirk doesn’t really have. He doesn’t seem to have half the issues that Dirk himself perceives himself as happening.

The sort of jealousy that makes Dirk pick at himself. Because he knows it’s one sided. He knows it’s not good to feel like this, not healthy. Why does he feel so much dislike for Dave when he’s so great? Dave has been nothing but nice and accommodating to him. And that makes him in a sense hate himself more. Its a cycle of realising he dislikes his brother due to envy (in turn caused by how he puts him on a pedestal as a true "hero"), then questioning and lashing out at himself internally for harboring negative emotions towards Dave, beating himself about it because his self hatred confirms he can never be Dave, before listing all the reasons why Dave is great (and he isn't) and falling in this cycle all over.

I think he’d hate himself because he can’t find the end of the cycle. A snake that eats itself. Dirk can’t be him. Yet in some ways he wishes to be as great. But he can never be that great, because Dave is the top bar in his mind. Which leads to hate for how he thinks about it and how he’s again, doomed to be himself. And only himself.

Dealing with jealousy and envy in that matter, he would likely not bring it up to anyone, not even Dave or Jake. He might make some semblance of a mention of it, but of course the fear of being seen in a certain light by both parties makes him back off and make him reluctant to talk about it in general.

[borzoilover69]

Adding onto this one of Dirks biggest regrets is how he can’t serve other people. He sets himself up as this big puppetmaster controlling his friends like Jane, like Jake, helping them. But he’s not a knight he’s a prince, he doesn’t serve. Who helps Jane during her quest through her barren land? Hal. Who tries at least to mediate for Jake when he’s trying to get ahold of strider, directing him on what to do? Hal. And who takes care of Roxy while drunk, something that the very AI points out during their last poignant conversation that Dirk can’t handle? Hal. Not to mention [ S ] Synchronise. Dirk isn’t a puppet master he’s some kid who tries to be “all that” and falls flat on his face eating cement.

Dave however, manages to serve as both Jade and Rose’s server player, manages to make sure that John doesn’t make bad decisions through davesprite among other things, serves terezi for a good while manipulating stock markets to do vital bullshit, plots a course to the green sun and helps in the creation of it, so on so forth, and he does it all well. He succeeded where Dirk fell short. I’m sure it’d bring another spike of torment for Dirk to dwell on later.

[therealr3ntz]

Op can I introduce you to a song that fits this whole idea?

The song is originally about the speaker wishing and resenting his father for not having a proper relationship with him AND there is a jealousy seeping through the first few verses, where he mentions biblical father and son relationship.

Ofc you can interpret this as alpha dirk being resentful to alpha Dave but it can be also interpreted as Dirk being jealous of the Dave we all know and love post-game.

The chorus is repetition of “I hate you” mirroring your illustration (honestly that’s the reason I thought of this song).

BUT WAIT there’s more. You mentioned one of the reasons that Dirk is jealous of Dave is because he’s more social/easier to get along with. And this idea can be seen with this line(s):

“The things that I’m going to say

I think that you talk better, and so, I

I say something else or I just don’t say anything

So, and then I never say anything to anyone, now

No one thinks I ever talk

And now they’re all going to think I’m a fucking creep because of how weird my fucking voice sounds!”

I believe there are more ways this song relates to this whole idea; but I won’t ramble to much, and you have fun creating your own ideas.

(I would tag but I don’t wanna bother, so hopefully you’ll see this in the reblogs).

[borzoilover69]

Fucking spectacular addition

[dirkspit]

Shit, dawg. I think Imma reread Homestuck just cause I love learning about people. I want to study those animals like bacteria under a microscope.

[dirkspit]

No, the fuck? I am not gonna do that.

[hiroyukill]

[hiroyukill]

[hiroyukill]

[hiroyukill]

[svetoshumovaya]

[svetoshumovaya]

[crebermatrix-deactivated2023080]

[dirkspit]

I never understand what's going on with the Tumblr polls feature. So whenever someone reblog their reply upon the poll post, it'll just lead to more confusion and hilarity.

[dirkspit]

Shit, dawg. I think Imma reread Homestuck just cause I love learning about people. I want to study those animals like bacteria under a microscope.