𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒄 𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒆.

i had visions, i was in them, i was looking into the mirror to see a little bit clearer: the rottenness and evil in me.

[dirtbvg-a]

éric sébastien allaire 

( cis man | he/him | lorenzo zurzolo ) —— isn’t that éric allaire? yeah that is them, sitting there at the ravenclaw table with those other seventh years. when sybill looks into that crystal ball of hers, she sees an imperfection in a glass that skews the view, middle fingers aimed at authority figures, unopened letters from home shoved under a mattress, the tingle in your fingers from a burn running under cool water, the side stream smoke from a cigarette causing a secondhand burn, and the scent of fall spices and dark wood which seems about right for that nineteen year old. anyway i’ve heard they’re pretty gloomy, sanctimonious, and incisive. apparently they’re in venit tempestas and pureblood but i’m sure that’s not related… 

along the likes of: ander muñoz (elite), ferris bueller (ferris bueller’s day off), fitzwilliam darcy (pride and prejudice), anakin skywalker (star wars saga), harry bingham (the society), ryan atwood (the oc), mike wheeler (stranger things), lip gallagher (shameless).

bio & stats. pinterest. connections.

[dirtbvg-a]

closed — @evanrcsiers​

location — the park in front of the ministry

           ❛  if  i  cared  enough  to  ask,  believe  me,  i  would’ve.  ❜    

[dirtbvg-a]

closed — @bertoalvarez​

location — honeydukes

           ❛  here,  berto  —  try  this  flavored  bean.  ❜  

[dirtbvg-a]

closed — @apclliine​

location — the streets of diagon alley

           ❛  does  it  have  to  be  so  bloody  hot  out  ?  is  there  seriously  nothing  we  can  do  to  not  feel  so  miserable  just  by  stepping  outside.  ❜  

[dirtbvg-a]

closed — @henrvkas​

location — not important, could be anywhere kgfjdh

           ❛  would  you  mind  telling  your  brother  to  leave  my  sister  alone  ?  ❜  it  all  seemed  so  juvenile,  but  that  night  in  the  astronomy  tower  was  more  likely  to  stick  with  éric  for  a  long  time  than  not.

[dirtbvg-a]

closed — @hopkirksc​

location — alley behind a ministry entrance

           cigarette  in  hand,  éric  awaited  for  his  father,  but  not  before  hiding  for  at  least  half  an  hour  while  henri  attempted  to  find  him.  ❛  —  and  here  i  thought  i  had  found  the  perfect  hiding  spot,  ❜  he  coos,  turning  to  the  unfamiliar  face.

[dirtbvg-a]

andrcmedcs​:

     ❝      they   just   …      are   they   normally   this   loud   ?      how   can   something   so   small   snore   so   loud   ,      they   sound   like   a   herd   of   hippogriffs   ❞      andromeda   shrugged   casting   a   look   once   more   over   the   flock   of   apparently   sleeping   children   ,      surely   she   had   never   been   like   that   as   a   child   ?      and   certainly   narcissa   had   never   been   .      she   liked   to   think   she   was   rather   good   with   children   despite   all   that   but   beyond   the   day   time   hours   she   hadn’t   seen   much   of   them   .      ❝   thanks      ❞      she   smiled   as   she   caught   it   with   one   hand   ,      letting   the   silence   sit   for   a   minute   before   asking   .      ❝      have   you   ever   thought   about   it   ?      like   what   your   kids   would   be   like   one   day   ?      ❞

           ❛  i’ll  just  say  it’s  definitely  not  an  allaire  gene  —  ❜  or  he  could  also  blame  his  lack  of  answer  on  his  minimal  time  he’s  spent  with  his  nieces  and  nephew.  he  was  only  barely  a  teen,  barely  a  hogwarts  student,  when  the  twins  were  born  so  it’s  not  like  he  ever  got  to  spend  much  time  around  them  anyway.  as  for  his  half-siblings  children  ?  that  was  an  entirely  different  story.  ❛  i  don’t  even  want  to  think  about  passing  along  my  family’s  gene’s.  ❜  he  groaned  —  children  weren’t  his  thing,  but  he  knew  he’d  have  to  at  least  pass  along  the  name.  ❛  especially  if  they  have  the  possibility  of  turning  out  to  be  anything  like  ellie,  or  even  viviane.  ❜  he  paused  for  a  moment,  taking  a  drink,  before  turning  back  to  andromeda.  ❛  what  about  you  ?  ❜  

[dirtbvg-a]

silasselwyn​:

          silas let out a sigh as the hand raked through his hair, reminding him that he was safe and he didn’t need to worry around éric. he maybe should have realized that he did need to still be careful because they were in public—and it wasn’t because he was ashamed of this or how he felt. showing emotions like this was difficult for him, being vulnerable like this was nearly impossible. even with his own flesh and blood, he could rarely speak about the things that were bothering him. “i know and i was wrong to push you away.” he’d just been scared and selfish, but they both knew that. silas was going to have to learn to be more open with those he cared about, even though that list of people was small. he would try because he was determined. it felt weird to think that a boy could be worth all of this. he forgot where they were, everything seemed to go quiet, silas looked at éric, more hopeful than he had been in a long time. of course there were things that they needed to talk about; he was too drunk to have a serious conversation. he squeezed the hand in his own because he couldn’t say everything he wanted to right now. it all seemed surreal. “okay, yeah. i need to get home. i really… i should talk to… to my sister. and i…” he sighed, but couldn’t help the grin on his face. “i probably shouldn’t be this happy at a memorial anyway. i’m… erm, i’m gonna go.” he squeezed éric‘s hand. “sorry, i don’t… i don’t know what i’m doing. this is all new.” 

           éric  gently  brough  sila’s  hands  to  his  lips  before  dropping  them  down  again  —  not  wanting  to  bring  any  more  attention  to  themselves  or  risk  getting  caught  by  someone  who  may  have  noticed  the  two  storm  off  in  their  fit  of  rage.  he  nodded  as  he  pushed  his  own  hair  back  into  the  original  way  he  had  styled  it  for  the  memorial.  he  wanted  to  ask  more  questions,  or  just  be  in  silas’  presence  in  general,  but  he  knew  this  was  for  the  best.  they’d  be  able  to  have  all  the  time  in  the  world  if  they’d  allow  themselves.  he  especially  wanted  to  ask  why  silas  needed  to  speak  to  amaline,  but  he  had  his  own  suspicions.  it  was  his  secret  to  keep  and  his  secret  to  tell  her,  but  he  was  curious  as  to  how  she’d  react  to  it  all.  a  small,  barely  there  laugh  escaped  his  lips  as  silas  squeezed  his  hand.  ❛  it’s  probably  in  bad  taste,  ❜  he  murmured.  ❛  —  and  don’t  worry,  i  don’t  really  know  either,  but  we’ll  figure  it  out.  i  promise.  ❜  he  nodded  in  confidence,  whether  for  himself  or  for  silas,  before  dropping  his  hand  to  watch  him  leave.  he’d  wait  just  a  few  minutes  after  him  before  doing  the  same.  ❛  we’ll  meet  somewhere  privately  next  time.  ❜  

[dirtbvg-a]

ardenconway​:

she rolled her eyes at him, shoving his arm and taking a long gulp knowing that she would most likely have to have a house elf sneak another bottle. “you say that like i’m also not saving your sorry arse.” she says, eyes squinting at him. “i’m pretty sure most of us have a secret that we’re not willing to part with.” whether that be a secret person, in this case, arden’s sexuality and her feelings for a particular person that she knew she couldn’t have. she patted the seat next to her getting comfortable since they would be here a while. “come on, what’s yours?” 

             ❛  maybe  i’ll  admit  that  we’re  saving  each  other  then  ?  i’ll  give  you  that  much  satisfaction  —  ❜  it  was  a  good  plan,  he  could  admit,  one  that  would  definitely  save  his  ass  in  the  long  run,  even  if  it  wasn’t  ideal.  but  then  again,  nothing  would  be  since  éric  would  never  be  able  to  marry  for  the  love  he’d  want.  he  side-eye’d  her  for  a  moment,  bringing  the  glass  to  his  lips  once  more  and  finishing  the  remaining  wine  in  the  cup.  ❛  wouldn’t  be  a  secret  if  i  told  you,  would  it  ?  ❜  his  brow  raised  as  he  plopped  down  next  to  her.  ❛  plus,  it’s  not  much  my  secret  to  tell.  ❜  

[dirtbvg-a]

ardenconway​:

@dirtbvg​​

it was another dinner that her parents had planned but this time, she was actually happily by the end results, but she wouldn’t let them know that until they started talking. now, they were both completely out of the conversation, forced to talk to each other, but at least they were friends, though both of their parents wouldn’t know that since when do they ever check in with their children other than what they thought was important? she had grabbed a bottle of expensive wine and brought eric to her room where they were able to talk freely about anything without being watched. she had opened the bottle and sighed. “i’m glad that it’s you,” she started off tilting the bottle to fill up the cups, “i know it’s not ideal but if this works, i’m glad that it’s you.”

         éric  snorted  as  he  accepted  the  glass  of  wine,  knowing  they  probably  should’ve  grabbed  two  bottles  since  this  would  probably  be  one  of  the  easiest  dinners  arden  would  ever  have  when  considering  a  future  husband.  the  two  were  close  friends,  and  it  was  amusing  how  ignorant  their  parents  were,  especially  when  they  worked  in  the  same  department  of  the  ministry.  ❛  keep  saying  that  —  i  want  to  know  exactly  how  much  i  could  possibly  be  saving  your  ass  right  now.  ❜  he  smirked,  his  tone  a  mild  tease  as  he  brought  the  wine  to  his  lips.

[dirtbvg-a]

milenebones​:

it had pained her to see him struggling so much knowing there wasn’t anything that she could do about it. she frowned at him, hating that this was the world that they lived and grew up in, that it was the standard for people like them. it worked out for her in the end, and she was grateful that she was able to find love with her betrothed but it wasn’t the same for everyone. she clenched her jaw when she brings it up, looking down at the baby that she had created out of love and would do anything for. “oh.” she says, sighing. she didn’t know what to say that, it was a lot of information all at once and she didn’t know how to make it better. “that’s…. that’s complicated.” she says, reaching out to squeeze his hand. “does the person know your feelings?” she had wanted to ask more, but didn’t want to pry. 

           ❛  yeah,  ❜  he  breathed  in  response,  a  nervous  yet  incredibly  awkward  chuckle  escaping  his  lips.  he  instantly  regretted  being  so  vulnerable,  but  he  also  knew  he  shouldn’t.  milène  was  the  perfect  person  for  him  to  go  to  for  this  type  of  problem.  she  knew  the  most  and  he  knew  he  could  count  on  her  to  really  get  his  shit  together.  ❛  they  do  —  but  they  said  it’d  never  work.  they’re  too  scared  of  what  other  people  think  and  would  actually  rather  be  locked  into  something.  how  ridiculous  is  that  ?  ❜  he  hoped  for  some  confirmation,  but  he  wasn’t  sure  if  milène  would  give  him  that.  merlin,  he  hoped  he  wouldn’t  see  silas  at  the  memorial.

[dirtbvg-a]

andrcmedcs​:

𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐀.

@dirtbvg​

            ❝      are   they   asleep   ?      ❞

         ❛  if  you  keep  asking,  you’re  just  going  to  jinx  it  —  ❜  éric  had  finally  gotten  his  nieces  and  nephew  to  sleep  after  what  seemed  like  hours  of  the  two  attempting  to  tire  them  out.  he  instantly  regretted  his  offer  of  babysitting  so  milène  and  edgar  could  go  out  with  the  lestranges,  but  he  was  at  least  thankful  andromeda  tagged  along.  ❛  here.  ❜  he  said  as  he  tossed  her  a  bottle,  a  non-verbal  thanks  for  the  night.

[dirtbvg-a]

silasselwyn​:

          he could blame his flushed cheeks on the alcohol, but it would have been a lie. silas wanted to embrace him, except somehow it felt far too intimate at a memorial. these kinds of emotions were tough for him and silas felt more vulnerable than he had in a long time. he was waiting for the rejection though it never came. he wanted to explain all his feelings, yet silas felt he lacked the vocabulary. his eyes were likely giving away his emotions, that even if he was drunk, éric had to know silas was telling the truth even if he was drunk. he let out a sigh of relief at the accepted apology; he hadn’t realized he was holding his breath. “it’s not just scary to me, it’s overwhelmingly terrifying. i get so anxious when i don’t know the future. it’s crippling sometimes to not know every little detail of my life.” it was why he knew he made a good pawn. he was good at following orders, thinking for himself, the thought of making mistakes made him anxious. he kept eye contact with éric, trying not to look away. he didn’t know what he wanted. just the accepted apology was enough right now, it filled him with something. silas felt like he could breathe again and that was more than he’d felt these past few weeks without amy and éric. “i don’t want to be perfect anymore. i don’t want to chase something i’m never going to achieve. i just want to…” he sighed, unsure of what he did want. “i want whatever you want to give me. i’m terrified, but i… i think i know how i feel. don’t you want a chance to figure this out? us? what we could be together? i want a choice—a chance—to find love, even if it ends up in flames. i want that with you, if you’ll give me that,” he said, voice wobbling and threatening to break. 

           ❛  hey,  ❜  his  voice  was  at  a  whisper  as  his  hand  snaked  up  through  silas  hair.  éric  never  knew  how  to  use  his  words  as  a  way  of  comfort  and  relied  mostly  on  his  sense  of  touch.  he’d  done  the  same  with  ellie  when  they  embraced  and  he  let  her  lean  on  him  as  he  attempted  to  sooth  her  by  running  his  hand  over  her  hair.  it  was  easiest  for  him  when  the  words  died  on  the  tip  of  his  tongue.  ❛  i  know.  ❜  even  if  éric  couldn’t  relate,  he  could  understand  silas  feelings  and  validate  them  in  that  way.  ❛  it’s  okay  to  feel  that  way,  but  that’s  why  we  need  each  other.  ❜  éric  held  the  scissors  to  cut  silas’  strings,  while  silas  kept  éric  from  cutting  himself  with  them  in  the  meantime.  the  breath  he  let  out  felt  good,  like  a  release  of  all  the  tension  he’d  had  built  up,  like  he  was  able  to  finally  take  in  a  real,  new  breath.  ❛  i  —  yes.  yes  i  do.  ❜  his  admission  was  overwhelming,  but  entirely  necessary.  they  had  so  much  to  go  over,  and  a  reunion  at  a  memorial  for  a  dead  family  didn’t  seem  like  the  greatest  place  to  hash  those  things  out,  especially  not  when  silas  was  still  under  the  influence.  éric  took  that  moment  to  look  around  and  at  their  surroundings.  a  place  filled  with  people  who  knew  them,  or  liked  to  think  they  did,  and  their  parents.  they  definitely  needed  somewhere  more  private.  ❛  we  can’t  talk  about  this  here.  not  now,  at  least  —  but  i  want  to.  later.  ❜  he  sniffed,  his  eyes  glossing  over  as  he  nodded  his  head  before  resting  it  briefly  on  silas’  forehead.  

[dirtbvg-a]

jean-luc-a-mess​:

he didn’t have to look to know who that voice belonged to, but a glance confirmed it anyways. jean-luc rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t tell you decisively if it were in affection or irritation. “you think I want them to when they came out dressed like that to begin with?” he retorted, snorting, as he waved a hand dismissively in the retreating offender’s direction. “besides, éric, what do I need friends for? i’ve got you right here. lovely to see you, too, by the way. i’m so proud to see you know how to dress yourself.”

             éric  narrowed  his  eyes  as  his  brows  knit  together.  he  always  thought  he  could  be  a  bit  dramatic,  but  merlin,  maybe  his  cousins  had  received  the  small  straw  on  the  end  of  that  deal.  he  nodded  curtly  with  a  shrug  at  jean-luc’s  questions,  a  nearly  laughable  comment  made  right  after.  ❛  merci,  ❜  he  jeered.  ❛  but  i  don’t  need  any  more  friends,  and  i  definitely  don’t  need  more  family.  ❜  why  must  the  allaire  name  spread  like  wildfire,  he  thought.  

[dirtbvg-a]

jean-luc-a-mess​:

@beforedawnstarters​ || open || location: anywhere

“absolutely not, I will not be seen with you like that! you need to change! like .. now!” he shook his head violently, firm in his stance, even folding his arms over his chest. this judgement was rich, coming from jean-luc, but the man wouldn’t budge. the audacity, the disrespect. it was unbelievable.  “red stripes, purple dots, I can’t, I won’t – it’s just plain rude. how could you do this to me? why do you hate me?”

         éric  watched  idly  at  the  first  glance  of  his  cousin,  a  small  scoff  leaving  his  lips  as  he  eavesdropped  on  the  conversation  before  finally  deciding  to  walk  over.  ❛  you  sure  do  know  how  to  make  friends.  ❜  he  noted  rather  sarcastically  as  he  arched  a  brow  his  way,  the  other  person  stomping  off.  ❛  you  think  they’re  going  to  come  back  from  changing  after  that  ?  ❜  

[dirtbvg-a]

silasselwyn​:

          he wanted things to be okay between them. his own feelings had been too overwhelming when he’d heard about the betrothal. silas didn’t want to get hurt and éric was absolutely going to hurt him. all he’d done was close himself off from getting hurt and it had ruined everything. he’d ruined everything—and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get back what they had before. then again, what they had before wasn’t what he wanted either. silas wasn’t sure what he wanted these days, being alone wasn’t it. he wasn’t happy and he’d change everything in his life just to chase that feeling he wasn’t sure he’d ever feel—at least not without someone he cared about. “what do you mean i don’t get to do that? i’m trying to apologize.” that’s what he was trying to do. “i’m sorry, éric.” the words came out of his mouth before he could stop himself, the tears fell from his eyes. “i’m really sorry for what i said.” he really did mean that too. “i don’t care about what people will say, i don’t care about ivy. i fucked up and i’m sorry.” silas let more tears fall from his face. “please.” he reached out and grabbed éric’s hand. “an uncertain future is scary, but it’s worth it—you are worth it.”

             for  some  reason,  éric  didn’t  recoil  at  silas’  grasp  as  he  thought  he  would,  or  at  least  as  he  thought  he  should  have.  instead,  it  was  comforting  and  he  welcomed  the  warmth  of  his  touch.  ❛  i  —  ❜  he  began,  swallowing  hard,  unsure  as  to  what  to  say.  should  he  forgive  a  drunken  apology  ?  would  it  be  his  best  bet  to  put  the  past  behind  them,  even  if  it  had  hurt  him  greatly  when  it  happened.  the  only  thing  that  had  changed  during  that  time  was  now,  in  that  moment.  ❛  okay,  ❜  he  nodded  slowly,  his  voice  almost  at  a  whisper.  he’d  appreciate  the  apology,  and  maybe  learn  to  fully  accept  it,  but  now  he  was  just  confused…  unsure  of  the  next  steps.  ❛  yeah,  it’s  scary,  but  what  do  you  even  want  out  of  this,  silas.  what  do  you…  want  from  me  ?  ❜  silas’  words  rang  in  his  head  about  how  they  couldn’t  be  together  and  how  silas  would  fake  a  happy  marriage  to  please  those  around  him,  but  had  that  changed  too  ?

[dirtbvg-a]

milenebones​:

she worried for her siblings, there wasn’t much that she could do now that she wasn’t living with them anymore. when it came to them she would go just about above and beyond to keep them safe, especially from their parents and all of their toxic ways but there was only so much she could do now, trying to protect her own children. she was very short with her parents, never letting them see their grandkids unless they absolutely had to. it was hard when she was so close with her siblings, hence why she always had them come over to her house instead of the other way around. it had pained her though, only having moments like this between the siblings, she felt so out of loop in all of their lives and she wanted to do more. “well i’m a mother of three children i’m nosey. i want to know everything i’ve missed.” she says, patting his cheek and settled more into the bench watching as carolina had grabbed his hand and squeezed it with all her tiny might. “she’s very mouthy lately, i’d be careful before she tries to chomp down on your finger.” she smiles, feeling her grab her hair and tug, she was already used to it at this point. when he asked her the question it had thrown her into a bit of a loop, remembering how it felt all over again. “no.” she said, and then quickly added, “but it did help that edgar was already my friend.” she wanted to be honest, feeling as if no one was ever really honest with eric. “eventually…. though, things got better.” she’s quiet for a moment. “why?”

           he  shrugged,  knowing  fully  well  he’d  never  get  away  with  anything  when  it  came  to  milène.  his  parents  ?  that  was  an  entirely  different  story.  he  squeezed  his  eyes  shut  the  moment  she  patted  his  cheek  and  wiggled  his  hand  out  of  his  niece’s  grasp.  he  definitely  didn’t  feel  like  getting  bite  marks  on  his  hand,  let  alone  child  slobber.  ❛  they’ve  found  me  a  betrothed.  ❜  he  shrugged,  the  confession  still  weighing  heavily  on  his  tongue.  he  wished  she  almost  said  that  her  and  edgar  hated  each  other,  the  same  way  he  and  ivy  do,  but  that  they  were  able  to  work  it  out.  it  wasn’t  that  éric  wanted  things  with  ivy  to  work  out  in  that  same  way,  but  he  hoped  for  happiness  in  the  end.  ❛  except  we  can  barely  stand  to  be  in  the  same  room  together  for  more  than  five  seconds,  and  i  think  i  still  have  feelings  for  someone  i  can’t  have.  ❜  merlin,  he  was  being  rather  emotional  for  the  middle  of  the  day  in  a  public  park.