he had never had a problem with showing affection when it mattered and of course it mattered with jean - luc ,  it always mattered with him .  this man had his whole heart ,  his whole soul and it was important that even if kaz felt like everything was a struggle ,  this was the one thing that wasnât difficult .  he wanted to stop overthinking everything ,  go back to the normal they had before everything got messed up .  he was grieving and not letting anyone help him through everything ,  even the people he loved .  â i love you . â  heâs said it before ,  but it always feels different here in france .  kaz wants things to feel less stagnant between them ,  like heâs not the one holding them back because sometimes it feels like he is .  kaz hides his face in his boyfriendâs shoulder after the kiss to his brow ,  muttering something there and shaking his head .  of course jean - luc was the only person on the planet that probably knew what was going on in his mind most of the time .  he pulled back far enough to look at him .  â i can assure you iâm always thinking of you . â  he spoke softly ,  wanting the words to only be shared between the two of them .  â darling you couldnât pester me if you tried .  unlike everyone else ,  whenever you bother me ,  the only thing iâm concentrating on is how youâre paying attention to me .  thereâs a whole world out there ,  yet when you look at me ,  weâre the only two people in it . â  kaz smiled softly ,  feeling like all the breath got knocked from his lungs just from staring into his boyfriendâs eyes .  the french words from the otherâs mouth immediately made his face go red ,  even without understanding them .  â you know youâre not supposed to speak to me in french .  it âŠÂ  i âŠÂ  we âŠÂ â  he couldnât get the words out of his mouth ,  so instead he just pressed his lips to his boyfriends .  so much for a nice little outing at a museum because kaz was only seconds from apparating the two of them back home .  all it would take was one more push .  he broke the kiss sooner than he wanted to ,  but kept his arms tightly wrapped around jean - luc .  â you mean itâs not a chore to love me ?  when iâm so guarded and wonât tell you things like the explaination of that picture i have or why iâm adopted ? â  he didnât know how anyone could stand him the way that jean - luc could .  didnât know how anyone would be able to handle him the careful way that jean - luc always did .  kaz knew heâd never meet another person like his boyfriend ,  and he wasnât going to try searching either .  â jean - luc ,  iâm ⊠â  kaz trailed of ,  words stuck in his throat .  â you take my breath away and any hope i have of being a sane ,  rational human being .  promise me youâll keep my heart safe forever and i promise you that iâll always love you . â  he pressed a soft kiss to jean - lucâs lips ,  different than the last kiss .  â do you want to be young and stupid with me ? â  kazâs whispers ,  squeezing the otherâs hand softly and looking into his eyes knowing that this was the only thing right in his life and he didnât want to lose it .  â is it cliché to ask you to marry me in paris ? â  kaz let out a little nervous laugh .  â i donât have a ring âŠÂ  i just love you . â
if jean-luc was known for anything, it was his complaints, and they were always numerous. one arena, though, where there had beenâ probably to many peopleâs surprise (anyone who cared to notice anyway) â remarkably few complaints was when it came to kaz. had things changed in their time together? yes, of course they had, and in some incredibly unexpected ways .... but through it all jean-luc had never been made to feel insecure enough to act out, or up, or cause any more problems than what had already been laid on the table. and the reason for that, though there was no one there to see it because of the way the self-admittedly guarded man tended to push people out, and definitely had tried to push jl out, though, here he stubbornly remained, aiming what should have been an inappropriately large smile back at man before him, was how sincere he was with every word he said. the truth in everything kaz said was in his eyes, and his touch, always, and jean-luc never had reason to doubt him, whatever the other might have feared. and though he wants to tease the workaholic man he loves, and playfully call him a liar, and remind him that his mind is, in fact, frequently on work and not on him where it rightfully belongs, he chooses not to, because instead, heâs chosen to focus on the rest of what kaz is saying, and the way heâs pulling the words straight from jean-lucâs own heart, practically. it always felt wonderful to feel so understood, so the frenchman remained silent, basking in the affection and the sweetness. he moved, of course, ready and anticipating the manâs reaction to such public teasing, but still, jean-luc had no complaints, even when kaz pulled away, sliding his hands right back down into his boyfriendâs where they belonged, and just in time to squeeze them with reassurance. âI do a lot of things iâm not supposed to, cherĂ, and donât do a lot of things iâm meant to. you know me, mon amour, chores are one of my least favorite things, and nothing about you is a chore, not a single thing. patience is not my strongest suit, but I do my best, because i love you for who you are. and those stories are important yes, but they are in the past, and while perspective might change, the stories themselves will not. youâll tell them to me when you tell them to me, kaz, iâm not pushing, iâm not asking â i want to know, one day, to understand, but iâm not asking... and they wonât change anything. you know me, cherĂ, you have to know theyâll change nothing. because those stories are a part of what made you who you are today, and again, I love this man that you are very much. it matters, but it doesnât matter. and for the record, I already know why you were adopted. you were adopted because your parents love you, and knew when they met you that they wanted to love you forever. just like i did.â but of course only kaz, truly, only kaz, could have topped a long winded ramble like that â and took jean-lucâs breath away as he accused the man of doing similar (and he hoped it was still true after his babble, because already, there were tears in his eyes, just from the look he was receiving alone, sensing, but not fully comprehending yet the emotional precipice they were really standing on, bless all of our hearts I hope youâre enjoying this read I know i am). but the first words he manages to form â âforever, yes.â â in answer to the most easily answered question â would he like to be young and stupid with kaz?? but the next question .. jean-luc didnât have words. he didnât have thoughts, even, not really. things had changed over the last several months, and in a lot of ways, that had really been like a roller coaster, or a blur, or somewhere in between, and some days, it seemed he barely remembered what all had happened along the way. what jean-luc did have, though, and in overwhelming abundance, was a surge of emotions; relief, love, reassurance, unadulterated joy, to name a few. and, what seemed a million years later, but was really less than a full minute, the crying man did finally find words, and more of them than expected .. though, still, none was anywhere even remotely near a complaint. âI would be crying a lot uglier if you asked me anywhere else, kazimir mac cionaoith. I donât need rings, i have rings, I have everything I have ever wanted, and I always have. i donât need more things, I donât need any of that. I just need you, and itâs been like that since the moment i met you, kaz. youâre all I was missing. of course i want marry you, as if iâd ever say anything other than yes. I told you you were stuck with me, et maintenant tu es coincĂ© avec moi pour toujours.â he paused with a grin, a chance to steal (happily) more kisses, then continued, âand the next time bertito decides to get smart, and ask if I donât have a boyfriend I could be bothering, iâll be extra annoying when I tell him that I donât. I have a fiancĂ©â