Braindead lizard

My inner dialogue consists of both of my braincells yelling at each other in the only language they know: shitpost

[dis-is-dars]

@thegreatadaptation

[pukicho]

its time to get into the food industry

[dis-is-dars]

As a producer, or as a product? We need to know.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Hey Gaudy did you know that clowns can paint their likeness on an egg and have it sent to the Clown Gallery, therefore patenting their signature look to keep other clowns from copying them?

i HAVE actually heard of the Clown Egg Register. 

for those not in the know, there’s a museum of clowning that helps enforce the unofficial rule that no two clowns can have the same face markings. thus started the practice of painting the markings onto eggs, as a means of record keeping. 

anyway, yes, clowns use eggs to copyright their makeup

[dis-is-dars]

Tag yourself I'm Giovianni

[dis-is-dars]

I have come to spread awareness for Pygmy Chameleons. While I like all chameleons, these little bastards just take the crown.

JUST LOOK AT THESE LITTLE TINY CHAPS

I don't even know where to begin I love everything about them.

Yes, they're about the size of a literal ant. If I were ant-man, I wouldn't be riding ants. It'd be these fuckers serving as my mounts.

[dis-is-dars]

They say eyes are the window to the soul. If that’s so, my first act as President of Humankind will be revoking the right to have eyes from all gingers.

Your eyes, hand em over.

[dis-is-dars]

Creating this wretched thing was an impulse and a huge mistake

- Me, mere seconds after creating an account here

- My parents, mere seconds after my birth