@JakeOnWheels

[disabled-queer-wave]

If my junk could be a plant I pick this one.

How very trans and autistic of me - on the week that I got my big A(utism Diagnosis)

[disabled-queer-wave]

My special interest is these fun little guys and the ships and worlds they occupy. When I’m in meltdown or ptsd flashbacks put one in my hand and I’ll calm down.

[post-grammatic-stress]

If you've ever told a person who's had to be bedbound for a period of time that you wish you could "just stay in bed", DO IT.

Stay in bed. For days. But don't get up if someone needs you to, or you get bored, or you get antsy. Don't do anything other than rest. Just lie in your bed, whether you need to get stuff done around the house or socialize or anything else "productive". You'll have to cancel on people, you'll disappoint them, they won't understand.

And if you're thinking, "well, i CAN'T just be in bed. There's stuff that has to be done - I have plans", maybe ask yourself why you assumed a disabled person doesn't have plans or things to do or desires.

[bebsi-cola]

there's disabled people out there who could probably work if they really really pushed themselves, but don't work. there's people who could probably do more housework than they can, or aren't putting out the maximum amount of effort they are able to manage. and you know what? that's great. those people don't have to wring every last drop of ability from their bodies to be allowed to have a break. or be supported. i'm so happy that there might be disabled people who got support before things were dire. i think more disabled people should get support so that less of them have to work even if they can at a push, and more of them have time to do important things. like take a nap. ameen

[disabled-queer-wave]

Caregiver Abuse/Neglect

I think people really don't understand the impact of the way they treat elderly and disabled people.

Every caregiver I have ever had (family/friend) who has spent time with me regularly over a period of a year and a half has abused me with regards to caregiving. This most often looks like neglect.

Examples of Caregiver Abuse that Might Surprise You

Making a big deal out of it every time you are asked for help, they need your help for something like they have knocked over a cup

Leaving the person you're watching in inaccessible conditions where they are unable to meet their own needs-stranding them

Becoming frustrated/angry when they cannot do a task that *you* deem they should be able to do but in fact, cannot

"Just wait another 15 minutes and then I'll get your pain medicine/water/food/help you go to the bathroom" - over and over again. Once is like, ok, but putting us off for hours is not

Give up looking for medicine when you can't easily find it

Purposefully creating difficulty to "challenge" them outside of a therapeutic setting or program

Incorrectly dosing medication

leaving abruptly/cancelling abruptly leaving the person stranded

refusing to return to the home to help in emergencies

treating them like a burden and emotionally putting them down

To the most recent "friend" who pulled this shit with me, I just don't know what to say to you. You knew that people have done all this shit to me and then you went and did the exact same thing. And because of my delayed processing, and autism, and just refusal to acknowledge that people that I love hurt me I let you do it. I didn't call you on it and I should have. But you told me that you know that you were neglecting me while you were doing it and continued to do it anyway. What am I supposed to do with that? How am I supposed to believe that queers are somehow doing community care and all this bullshit when I constantly see myself and other disabled people being left behind.

[borrowmyshovel]

so much concern over trans men being good allies to cis women and being useful to cis women and protecting cis women and having empathy for cis women while the average cis woman couldn't give a shit if trans men live or die. just continuing the cycle of trans men being used and abused for the benefit of people who have privilege over them just to be discarded once they get the nerve to express any needs of their own.

[disabled-queer-wave]

Ooooooh man my brain is trying to kill me and the fight to stay alive is hard.

I keep thinking that it will be over soon. I went on a bender on that last trauma.

I think that’s largely over now.

But now I don’t have access to my place, or my wheelchair, or anything that I need.

Medicine got taken away and mismanaged and now I’m short for the rest of the month.

I really just stare at the wall and don’t do anything bc I don’t know what to do.

Like what even is being alive when you’re living through multiple genocides, your friends are dying, you are in constant chronic pain.

I am having a hard time being there for other friends who are also suicidal.

I don’t know how to help anyone, I don’t know how to help myself when treatment is carceral.

[boyfloral]

I think some trans men need to understand it's not gender affirming for you to be like "haha yeah I'm awful and disgusting for being a man" ... 😭 you ... should NOT be made to feel that way. You should love and be proud of your trans queer manhood. Any queer person who makes you feel bad for being a trans man is lowkey just .... transphobic? Being a trans man is a marginalised identity and trans men do not experience male privilege buz that is a cisheteronormative concept. Passing, aka being in the closet, is not a privilege, it's a circumstantial form of safety that can be taken away at any time and that not all trans people are able to have access to. Passing trans people are not immune to transphobia, tranphobic laws, being outed / clocked, or transphobia in the medical / healthcare field.

Trans manhood is beautiful and if you're okay with throwing your trans friends under the bus just to demonise manhood as a whole bcuz of cis men's actions – maybe you're just transphobic & have bioessentialist, reductive viewpoints on gender. You can fight patriarchy, male privilege, and abusive cis men's actions without seeing manhood as an inherently abusive oppressive thing. To accept transgenderness as a whole you need to have a healthy view of manhood because if you don't, I feel very sorry for any trans man (or just ANY trans person who had a connection with manhood) you come into contact with.

[disabled-queer-wave]

I'm I Autistic, Bi-polar, BPD, ADHD, AuDHD, just plain traumatized from abuse and neglect, hypersensitive bc of contain pain and CRPS and shattered discs... I don't know. What if it's all of it. Will I like, ascend and explode into being nothing and everything all at once.

[bebsi-cola]

you know disabled rights include the rights of disabled people to have children. regardless if those children are also disabled. any mesure to restrict disabled people from having children is simple eugenics

[bebsi-cola]

similarly, but distinctly important. disabled people have the right to be born. regardless if their parents are abled or not. automatic termination of a pregnancy that will eventually produce a disabled child on the basis of disability alone is eugenics. this is not in conflict with body autonomy of the pregnant parent. there are numerous factors to think about when having and raising a child. each disability is different from the rest, and disabled people with the same conditions may live different lives. there's no way to automatically rule that any and all pregnancies that result in a disabled person being born must be ended without that stance being one of eugenics

[furiousgoldfish]

As a person who spends a lot of time lying down and rarely does any kind of activities, I come off as someone who's taking a lot of 'me' time, or a lot of 'resting' time. However I have to assert that any time I spend recovering from an activity is not 'me time' or 'resting time', it's the time that is stolen from me. I can't do anything with this time. I am in pain, I can't move, my activities are limited to 'hopelessly distracting myself so that I do not experience the full horror of what's going on in my body right now'. I don't even get to have 'me time' because of how much of the time is stolen from me.

[bebsi-cola]

people are constantly trying to deny disabled people the privilege of their own anger. we're forced into situations we don't want to be in have to rely on people or institutions we don't want to, have to constantly project the idea that we're thankful, hopeful, trying our best... it's ridiculous. when a disabled person is angry about something people flock to tell them that they shouldn't feel this emotion. "doctors are trying to help you", "be grateful you even have what you do", "you're the one making yourself miserable". at the end of the day it just goes to show that they don't think disabled people deserve even the meagre amount that we are given, so that's why they think we have no right to be angry

[disabled-queer-wave]

As soon as you get angry they withdraw material support and then you’re fucked too.

[disabled-queer-wave]

I’m an artist on Instagram, or I used to be, I don’t do so much stuff anymore.

Im disabled, trans, mixed Asian and will start a whole fight if anybody calls me Wasian, Im autistic and I walk and use a wheelchair.

I’m bitter about ableism and racism and white saviors in particular. Not salty, bitter. And while I am concerned that I am perhaps entering my Magneto phase (I actually don’t know a ton about X men, sorry, it’s on my list!) I see a lot of shirts that say Magneto was right so maybe it’s not so bad.

Man the things I would do if I was Magneto. *wistful sigh*

So I’m gonna talk about my experience with disability, racism, ableism, trauma, and how that affects my politics and values.

I’m not perfect and I want to learn even about my own people. Which is a deep wound that I never had other disabled friends while trying to navigate the very shitty process of acquiring a disability as a kid.

I want help understanding disability better, and I want to say what I have to say about disability bc I think that it’s important.

So I don’t know, it’s ok if no one listens, I just need to talk.

[murielsbottombitch]

why is it so hard for able bodied people to believe that doctors are sometimes just incompetent? you realize doctors are people, right? people that can be bad at their job. that happens sometimes. they don't know everything because there's a piece of paper on their wall that says they're smart, actually. they can sometimes be wrong, actually. they can sometimes cut corners and take the easy way out, actually. they can sometimes hate their job and make that their patients problem, actually. doctors aren't all saints who do everything right the first time. please stop invalidating disabled people when they complain about their terrible treatment at the hands of medical professionals. please stop putting the feelings of doctors over the lives of their patients.

[chompercroncher-deactivated2024]

Caretaker abuse is so uniquely hard to experience and talk about because most people are only that vulnerable for the first decade of their life. After then their basic needs are mostly in their own hands .

Needing someone else for your basic hygiene and safety inherently creates a huge power imbalance even outside of how easy it is to intentionally abuse us. Even if our carers have no bad intentions they can still up and say "sorry, I'm to angry to even look at you right now " after a fight or "whoops, sorry, I forgot about that thing/ that you needed this. Just slipped my mind ". And if that were a normal parent or friend or partner or aquantence or colleague that would be fine but it's NOT fine when you need that person to live. Tiny tiny things that wouldn't matter for most other people become abuse. A lot of people only have access to family as carers and for people with genetic and inherited disabilities , neglect can happen because they experience some of the same symptoms you do . And When you are disabled enough to need a carer , people will always believe your carer over you.

It's HARD to set boundaries especially physical ones with someone who cleans the most private parts of your body every day. It's hard to feel like you have privacy and some people will even tell you that you don't deserve privacy in the first place, or assume , why would we even need/ want it if we need supervision and help with basic tasks ?

When you need someone to tell you what's best for you because of a developmental or intelectual disability or else you will literally die , you have to trust other people even when you feel like you shouldn't. You get taken advantage of and lied to because it's either that or death.

Caretakers are always viewed as noble people making some sort of sacrifice for taking care of us. They are sometimes seen as victims of us and our disability. It is rarely when people recognize it's the other way around.

I wish there was more conversation about caretaker abuse and how easy it is to happen . I feel very alone being a victim of it sometimes. Some people with lower needs will try to compare it to parental/ guardian abuse like they understand but it is so so different and so so scary to go through , to know you will likely always experience some form of it forever. Caretaker abuse is so important to talk about and share our stories about because it is something many of us will never ever escape .

[disabled-queer-wave]

I was manipulated and exploited by an allistic girlfriend. I was lied to constantly by my parents. I didn’t understand I had a developmental disability bc I was good at school.

Now that I know I see how I have been taken advantage of and abused. I’m a wheelchair user as well and it’s just… it’s so hard. Only one long term caregiver has never abused me or denigrated me, or taken advantage of me.

[disabled-queer-wave]

Just a disabled queer artist out here trying out tumblr.

[bebsi-cola]

happy disability pride to the people with memory issues and brainfog. who can't answer when they started experiencing symptoms, when they started their meds, what they did last week/yesterday/this morning. happy disability pride to the people who miss appointments because they forgot, especially really important appointments. who are told to get their results or follow up on an appointment and never end up doing it. the people who would benefit immensely from reminders or someone writing things down for them, who try or are made to try and all the organisation tips in the world won't help them remember them when they need it

[disabled-queer-wave]

I needed help getting care bc I didn’t have the cognitive ability to manage my own care and just ended up getting neglected. I am desperate to find a way to lower brain fog without having to lose effective pain management.