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"(…) [TSHD is a] LGBTQ+A story, but it is not drawn as a romance manga."

"I am of the opinion that queer stories without romance should exist. That's why, officially and from the beginning, I have kept in mind not to appoint [TSHD] as a romantic love story."

"(…) Though [TSHD] is a queer story (understanding as queer that it's not limited to LGBTQ, and includes sexual minorities past those letters), it's not drawn as a romantic love story. I think that queer stories without romance are valid. Not engaging in a romantic relationship, whether it's from being unable to or not wanting to, is also an important element. (…)"

"When during the last episode of the anime 'Hikaru' says 'I love you, Yoshiki', he continues with 'not in a romantic or friendly way'. I don't consider that all the deep bonds with others need to be divided into 'it's a friendship' or 'it's a romance', and that's why I always draw the feelings of Monster!Hikaru in such a manner. (…)"

"I also believe that not knowing [not experiencing], among other things, what being in love or sexual desire feels like, is an important aspect of queerness. And I know how easily this can be misunderstood, but still…"

"(...) During the time I have been drawing this work [TSHD], I have often been told things such as 'I wish they were a man and a woman instead', 'It'd be better if they were just friends', and on the other hand I have also heard 'Why not make them into a regular romantic couple?'. But the truth is that plenty of works like that already exist, which is why I think it's fine if there are works that don't do those things. I think it's more interesting to have all sorts of different works (...)"

With these quotes out of the way, yes. I agree that people are free to draw or write whatever they desire, including romantic content. I agree that ultimately, all the fanon of the world can never erase the original narrative. However, I also agree that it is indeed somewhat disappointing how a part of the story that according to the author is as important as the homosexual component has been so blatantly glossed over. And 'Hikaru' might be a monster, but the aro/ace read is clearly intentional.

I realized I went on a tangent now, so I'm inserting a read more here.

"'Hikaru' would enjoy kissing" truthers, rise up. 🤝

But yes, I feel that many people in the TSHD fandom refuse to engage with the story's aromantic/asexual aspècts, just as they refuse acknowledging that Yoshiki and 'Hikaru' view their feelings and relationship as neither friendship nor romance (and where have I heard that before?). This reluctance is not solely coming from lack of understanding; for some, this is also inherently perceived as gay erasure. And... I get it. I am old enough that, not knowing about aromanticism and asexuality, for much of my life moved through the world and had mostly catastrophic relationships as a bi allo. I get that it comes from trauma, but reading that type of comment still stings.

It's also still quite a pity in this specific context.

I saw a post yesterday claiming that aromantic and asexual identities are supposedly "boring" as the reason why they are erased and ignored in fanworks (fanart, fanfic). This is a sentiment that I have seen echoed in past fandoms where it was not even part of the actual text like it is in TSHD, and it couldn't be any more further from the truth: there's a whole unexplored world out there of messy, ambiguous, undefined, and just as queer relationships that people simply refuse to engage with time and time again, despite being the opposite of boring.

And I want to read more of those stories. More of those explorations.

I want to read a story revolving around societal expectations and pressures, set before that summer when Yoshiki confirms 'Hikaru' isn't Hikaru, and how those affect 'Hikaru'. Maybe a girl confesses to 'Hikaru' during Valentine's Day thinking he's the real one, and 'Hikaru' has to consider What Would The Real Hikaru Do. Maybe, behaving while pretending to be Hikaru, the two of them end up dating. Maybe the girl ends up noticing either that 'Hikaru' is a monster, that he's uncomfortable, or both, despite how much 'Hikaru' tries not to be discovered. Maybe 'Hikaru' kills her. Maybe she breaks up with him. Maybe she tells 'Hikaru' that she feels unloved. Maybe 'Hikaru' asks Yoshiki how it feels to like a girl, and our very closeted Yoshiki gives some half-baked answer. Blind leading the blind.

I want to read a story in which Yoshiki and 'Hikaru' end up as boyfriends after Yoshiki takes the step, but I don't just want to read about the dread and complications of having a secret gay relationship in a very conservative and small village like Kubitachi is. I want the tension of 'Hikaru' accepting to date Yoshiki out of fear that if he won't, their relationship will take a hit, because he knows how important sex and romance is for humans, because he doesn't want to let Yoshiki down. I want them to try to follow all the expected steps of "what a normal relationship is like", forcing themselves into a mold that ultimately hurts them both. Angst of Yoshiki wanting that relationship because he's still projecting Human!Hikaru onto Monster!Hikaru optional.

I want to read a story in which they move to Tokyo and remain in an unlabeled partnership, but years down the road 'Hikaru', after frequenting Ni-chome to accompany Yoshiki and support him and being constantly reminded of how important [romantic] love is in these spaces (and maybe once being flirted with by a stranger and completely misunderstanding the situation) begins to internalize the idea that there's no way Yoshiki is satisfied with the way things are. Why wouldn't Yoshiki want a normal human boyfriend to feel truly fulfilled now that he's no longer asphyxiated in Kubitachi, instead of being stuck with him? Because much has been said about Yoshiki's internalized homophobia, but what about 'Hikaru' interacting through the world through the lenses of Hikaru's life, and gradually internalizing how abnormal him and his feelings for Yoshiki are? What of 'Hikaru' thinking he loves wrong? What about him longing to be able to love Yoshiki in the same way all those couples seem to do and he can't do?

And we cannot forget how other people would react to their relationship, and not only because 'Hikaru' uses the body of the only Indou heir and the one who's meant to carry on the family's legacy and sins, which includes him eventually marrying and having (male) children. Maybe they do get support from their friends, but maybe this support... is off and not quite right. Maybe they struggle with the feeling of being misunderstood, because no one seems to understand it (like again, the main relationship in Koisenu Futari went).

Or let's go further and actually address the fact that there's far too much monogamy in fandom. What about a story in which Yoshiki actually has relationships with men? How would that unfold, considering all the societal expectations of romantic relationships, and his irreplaceable and non-negotiable bond with 'Hikaru'? What tensions and realizations might arise from it?

I want to read a story in which, as Yoshiki and 'Hikaru' get older and the latter lives fully how he wants without having to fake being someone else, romantic and sexual attraction grows where there was none. Yoshiki already knows that 'Hikaru' will never be able to reciprocate those new feelings of his, not in the same way, so how they navigate the emotional complexity that arises from that? (There was actually a very good subplot in Koisenu Futari like this, and no I'm never shutting up about this show)

I want to read a story in which 'Hikaru' discovers that there's an entire community of humans who feel, and experience the world, in very similar ways to how he does, just like how Sakuko at the start of Koisenu Futari felt relieved when she found Takahashi's aro/ace blog. The same goes for Yoshiki being able to live openly as gay. I want them to love and support each other as queer people, even as they remain fundamentally different, celebrating both their shared experiences and their unique identities.

Oh, and I want to read more aroace eroticism, too.

There are so many more aspects that you can touch upon when you take 'Hikaru' and his canon aroace identity into account. Simply because yes, 'Hikaru' can engage in typically romantic/sexual-coded activities too, but he wouldn't experience them the same way an alloromantic allosexual man would. And while I lean towards him enjoying these experiences in a way comparable to how he enjoys eating or sleeping, it would also be interesting to read other possibilities where his engagement with romance or sexuality is more complex, or even reluctant.

I'm perfectly fine with reading more... classical or shippiest takes. As I said before, ultimately, whatever people draw or write has no bearing on the original story. Both text and WoG are very adamant about how important Yoshiki and 'Hikaru' are to each other, how there is no sexual or romantic attraction involved from either side. But still, I'd love to see more of what Dissecting Intimacy, The Swallow Dreams of Summer, or more recently Now Swallow were doing. Alas, only one of these works is tagged in a way that meaningfully signals it follows the beats of how their relationship is in the original canon. These interpretations are already rare, and trying to find them can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. That's why I strongly encourage people to tag their works clearly: AroAce 'Hikaru', AroAce/Gay relationship, any of the queerplatonic tags people have been using... Just something, anything.

And before the piss on the poor website starts acting up: I am not telling anyone with this post what they must or must not write. This is just my humble reflection on the impact of amatonormativity in fandom. I ask that people make an attempt to step out of the knee-jerk response and think about it. Just a little bit. Just as you might ask yourself "Would he say that?", also consider "Would they follow all the classic steps of the relationship ladder?".

And lastly, before anyone responds with "fanfic is for fun" "I do what I want" "why don't you write it yourself", consider that not only English is my third language, what you are seeing here is someone's sideblog. You cannot know whether I have written any of these things myself already or not.

TL;DR

And well, would you look at that. What a good moment to remember everyone that the No Romo Fest is currently running. 😏

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