ghost in training @disappearingroadkill - Tumblr Blog

12-31-2022, 10 AM

✷ friday, july 19, 2024

a child who is persistently alone & does not want to be alone does not learn that they on occasion have time to themselves during which they can do whatever they want, they learn that occasionally they will have time to themselves throughout which they will do nothing except exactly what they do not want to do - something that is synonymous with that duration of time. if they were being made to do some or other unpleasant thing, like hold their hand on a hot stove, that would not be synonymous with the duration of time, it would be something occupying that duration of time. when they are made ito be alone, the fact that they are alive & conscious is felt as a profound lack rather than the fundamental opportunity atop which all other opportunities are built, & the passage of time becomes something to be endured because it continually implies their continued existence & awareness. life for them then becomes organized not around exploration nor seeking enjoyment or fulfillment, but around strategies for continually enduring the fact that they exist

rabbitplanet

Fleeting memories

scarredbunny

calypsopark

seeing spirits again and wondering what they want to tell me or what is going on

der3ality

things are starting to connect and have special meaning and work as omens again. but. i am also feeling significantly worse by the day, the days bleed together and i can't see the future again. hmmmmm. unsure of the meaning here

#journaling #new tag i suppose idk #vent #rambling