My Memes Live on FB

I only come here when I'm sad

[deep-dark-fears]

Through the trees. A fear submitted by Jada to Deep Dark Fears - thanks!

You can pick up signed copies of my Deep Dark Fears hardcover books at my store!

[noragibenson-blog]

[justmysicklypride]

June 1st, 2016

May is officially over. I expect to see every single one of you hold on till the next one no matter who you are, no matter how bad things look right now. And for those of you that held on till now and are alive and well and reading this, I’m proud of you and I love you.

Darling you’ll be okay

[nomdelune]

A list of things I want to learn

- knitting (more than just scarves)

- embroidering

- sewing

- cooking (actual warm meals, jam, bread, pies)

- gardening

- making my own tea

- watercolour painting (I currently have no technique)

- learning how to play a music instrument (started playing the ukulele, so soothing!)

- to be continued

I just want to DIY everything from scratch with as little waste as possible. Also, I need a tiny cottage on the countryside. Or a comfy van to live in. (But damn it, I’ll make it work in the city as much as I can!)

[disasterarea51]

I havent been sad lately.

I've been drunk

[disasterarea51]

I've had this thought playing over and over in my head lately

"I just want to go home" but nowhere feels like home anywhere...

[disasterarea51]

I'm in pain too

But it doesnt matter because you need me to listen to you...

[xshuttlesworth]

A classic | he was fuckin it up 😂

[uhohjoe]

So then I found this and it all made sense

[jaspertheshark]

And i found god in this gamestop

[gerudho]

that wasn’t peter parker that was miles morales

[paper-backstab]

the smell of Home Depot is cathartic

[paper-backstab]

fairies live in the lights & chandeliers section, gnomes live in the outdoor gardening department

[kuboe-deactivated20231023-deact]

Stop romanticizing home depot

[paper-backstab]

pixies live in the paint aisle. fuck you

[owlcoats-deactivated20190503]

[auckie]

My blog policy is If you see something, say something

[auckie]

Outstanding. This is what I’m talking about people.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

nothing sends me into a paralyzing fear like the sickening peptobismal pink of one of your posts sliding up onto my dash,,, even just thinking about it i can hear the slorp sound it makes as it creeps closer. i scroll, unaware, but the sound grows. pink coats the bottom of the screen, and my happy, clueless browsing turns into a nightmare. i scroll further, and further, until finally--oh thank god its just that post about how no one ever consciously follows you

getting fanmail is such an ego boost 

[ellifromspace]

When I woke up I heard a clock ticking and I was like yeah that’s normal then I realized that there isn’t a clock in my room and it stopped what the phuq

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this post! i like it! i hope you are doing well but i assume you are not

[iwannatastethefriggingrainbow]

Somewhere deep in my past my childhood self just sat bolt upright in bed and shivered

[ellifromspace]

Most ominous response to my most ominous post

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

my one small consolation from election night 2016 was that i went to the voting booth wearing pajamas and pink bunny ears. 

considering the farce it ended up being, i’m glad i didn’t put on proper pants

[theloserwithastory-deactivated2]

Omg I’m old enough to vote now and I’m gonna do this.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

legally and ethically they cannot stop you

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I'm going to sleep, any recommendations for some good dreams?

A Faceless person sits at the table in the center of the room. They are shuffling cards, waiting for you to take your seat. They hum as they deal the hands. You are playing Go Fish. 

As you play, you and the Faceless being speak of many things. You speak of knowledge of the near future, approaching events, some fortuitous and many most bleak. The conversation turns to talk of a greater event, the darkest hour yet to come. 

The Faceless one comments this: ‘There are many beasts and horsemen in my stables. I have yet to decide which to unleash.’ 

You watch as features bubble up beneath the Faceless skin–the beginnings of a nose, lips, eyelids, a face protruding from a once smooth expanse. No longer Faceless, the devil stands up, shakes your hand, and makes to leave. It pauses just once, to call back into the room. ‘The cards are a gift.’

You look at the cards and they have changed. They are black, large, inscribed in a language you do not read but which the cards read to you. When the cards start speaking to you, you put them away in their box. Already too many things are unleashed in the world.

Tonight, you spoke with the devil. 

The devil looked a lot like you. 

[hell-in-a-handbasket1]

Gaudy I would say what the fuck but that’s actually really well written holy shit

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

src: @violetswhiskey

[that-lesbian-cyberguard]

Hi yes I wish I could write like this

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

make ur head make words, see what comes out. listen to me i am good advice

[l0veover-deactivated20180319]

i want! to sit! in a lap! and i want! to hold! a hand!!!!!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

do they have to be attached 

[aya-080]

I love your need to make everything cute sounds creepy I love that

[seb-vit]

Well… It’s funny how you can make everything sound creepy/wrong but the things that you like

Make this creepy:

Skittles are very good

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

it depends where you put them

[barack-obama-on-the-run-blog-de]

you challenged a god

[generichellsiteuser]

Make this creepy:

Despacito Despacyeeto

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

An instrumental cover of a well-known song plays from another room. It starts slow, rhythm inconsistent, like a child struggling with a hand-played music box. It is the unmistakable tune of Despacito, played on an old circus organ. You open your eyes slowly and squint up at a single, flickering bulb. Your head aches. How did you get here? 

The music throbs against the bathroom’s crumbling tile walls. You are standing in front of a ceramic sink, the bowl chipped and yellowed with age. You have no memory of this place. The music speeds up. Your hands are stained with something dark and rotting. A strange taste lingers in your mouth. How did you get here?

You lean towards the mirror. Your face is haggard, your eyes bloodshot. 

Your reflection leans forward and whispers, “Despacito” 

[pardonmeimagemini]

Good luck with:

Do we have any homework?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

“Do we have any homework?”

Your voice is so quiet, I can barely hear you. Or maybe it’s the static on the line. The phones haven’t been working right.

“I’ve been trying to call you all day.”

I know you have. I’ve been ignoring your calls. 

“What did I—in class?” You’re cutting in and out.  

We have most of our classes together, but I’ve never considered us particularly close. Why are you calling me, now of all times?

“You didn’t miss anything.” I can hear rain in the background. “There was a special assembly today.”

Keep reading

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I follow you because you'll make a really relatable and informative autsim post and then I scroll down and see "my toes are sliced peaches" or some shit

ya’ll act like I’M creepy but name one instance where i ever said anything as unnerving as this