Does anyone else ever think about how much??Yuki compares his relationship with Tohru to Kyo’s relationship with her?? And it teaches him how he would want to experience love himself?
No one should hate on anyone who compares the 2 relationships because Yuki thinks about it all. the. damn. time. Yuki starts comparing his relationship with Tohru to Kyo’s relationship with her in the 8th volume. (This is because volume 7 didn’t focus on the main trio at all.) So, last we saw of Yuki, he had been flirting with Tohru pretty blatantly. This comes to an abrupt stop when volume 8 begins and Yuki walks in on this scene:
The bond between Kyo and Tohru has clearly grown since volume 6, and everyone can see it. Later on, when Haru grabs Tohru, Momiji and Yuki both react, but Kyo is the one who comes to her aid, which does not go unnoticed.
It is this moment that Yuki thinks back to when Haru suggests calling Tohru by her first name.
(And maybe this is reading too far into it, but this is the first time we’ve seen Kyo refer to Tohru by her name in front of Yuki.)
We next really see Yuki trying to come to terms with his relationship to Tohru in volume 10.
Yuki relates to the kids. Just look at volume 15!
Kyo comes along and that’s when Yuki leaves to gather his thoughts. Once again he is faced with the reality that his relationship with Tohru is very different from someone else’s.
Of course he first noticed this in volume 6 when Tohru ran after Kyo. She had the form of a real woman. Why was Yuki noticing that now? Because she was running after Kyo.
Yuki is able to understand his relationship with Tohru isn’t romantic, because he sees how her relationship with Kyo is. And he makes peace with that reality. He feels immense gratitude for her sharing the tiniest things. Yuki would never be able to pay back Tohru for everything she’s done for him, because she doesn’t need the same unconditional kindness that he was seeking. And that’s fine.
Yuki realizes that now that he’s seen Tohru and Kyo’s intrinsic bond, he wants that for himself.
Yuki does love Tohru, but in a very specific way. His relationship with her is made clear when compared to her relationship with Kyo’s, and our boy Kakeru picks up on that.
Yuki explains to Kakeru exactly how he feels in volume 15, after Kakeru says that it sounds like Yuki doesn’t think he can compete with Kyo. Yuki explains that that’s not the case and it’s besides the point. One of the major things Yuki comes to accept throughout the series is that he is not like, and will never be like Kyo. Yuki never cared about being better than or superior to Kyo. And it’s certainly not that he wants to fight Kyo for Tohru’s affection. He understands that they see Tohru differently. Yuki is painfully aware of that.
As I said before, Yuki does love Tohru. But he loves her in a way that he wouldn’t want to romantically. True, maybe some couples are made from more maternal bonds, but that’s not what Yuki wants for himself. He knows there must be a love out there for him that will make him feel complete - like someone’s equal.
Yuki wants to find his own person - someone he can have a true give and take relationship with. He wants to be able to give someone something intrinsic, the same way Tohru and Kyo make each other happy in ways that only they can. Yuki craves that sort of relationship with someone. Now he understands that it wasn’t enough for him to just receive.
He’s finally gotten the motherly love he was searching for. But he’s also not a child anymore. He wants to try to leave the nest, fueled by the love and kindness Tohru gave him. Thanks to her support, he now feels capable of taking those steps. But he had to come to that conclusion on his own.
So, needless to say, when Kyo compares his relationship with Tohru to Yuki’s, it really struck a nerve.
How DARE Kyo say that. He has no idea what in the hell he’s talking about! Because Yuki has compared his relationship with Tohru to Kyo’s and came to the conclusion that he could never give her what Kyo gives her.
Yuki agonized over this! He was so painfully aware of the difference in their relationships! Kyo’s comment is just an insult to everything Yuki has come to understand and accept concerning their relationships with Tohru. This was never a competition. This is about what they have the potential to do for each other. Kyo doesn’t need to be any more like Yuki to give Tohru what she needs.
And so, in conclusion, I see comparing Yuki’s relationship with Tohru to Kyo’s relationship with her to be necessary in understanding Yuki’s journey. It was only by comparing their relationships that Yuki was able to understand his own, which led him to discover his desire for something more than even maternal love. Hatsuharu says that he knows that there’s someone out there for Yuki and that someday they’ll find each other. Someday, he’ll find someone that he’ll be able to help intrinsically, and love in the way he hopes to one day love somebody.