uh... er.... oh?

26/bi/married/father lover of dungeons and dragons. critical role, the adventure zone, mbmbam, marvel, dc and other nerdy ass bullshit

[disfunctionredon]

The parents of Jan Broberg are every bit as complicit in the abduction and abuse of their child as Robert Berchtold. I have known my best friend and his wife my entire life but if I thought for even a microsecond that their intentions with my daughter were that incredibly vile I would cut them out of my life in an instant.

Let's get something straight. Blaming the parents of abuse victims is not typically right however in the case of Jan Broberg I believe there is an exception. As a parent YOU are responsible for the protection and care of your child. YOU are responsible for recognizing red flags because your kids simply cant. You can try to teach them about stranger danger all you want but at the end of the day you need to make tough calls for your kids for their protection, no matter how much they kick and scream.

You dont let a grown man sleep with your kid. You dont let him pick her up from piano practice on a school night. You call the police when they go missing. YOU DONT DROP CHARGES BECAUSE YOU HAD AND AFFAIR AND YOUR HUSBAND IS GAY.

Own it! Live your truth and do what is best for your kids and for christ sake dont admit on a documentary about how your daughter was abducted twice that the worst day of your life was when you tried to divorce your wife.

Seriously the only time I saw that man cry the whole movie was that scene and when he talked about the tug job for his buddy. The whole rest of the time he just shrugged and tried to say 'well we were blind'.

Like yeah no shit Bob you stupid piece of human garbage. But being manipulated doesnt protect you from criminal neglect of your child.

And dont even get me started on mary-ann. How do you live with yourself? Sending your already kidnapped child to jackson hole to work for her kidnapper for a whole month before doing anything about it. Bob said he was livid when he found out but did he fly to jackson hole and kick Robert's ass in front of god and everyone else at the family fun center? No, he and his wife claimed she was living with a grandparent.

Jan has had a tragic life and her abuse at the hands of Robert is nothing short of horrible. But what we as a collective are choosing to ignore in favor of memeing is that Bob and Mary-Ann are one hundred percent guilty of neglect and aiding Robert in his efforts to brain wash and abuse their child.

I'm glad Jan has found it in her to love her parents regardless of their actions. I for one think it is dispicicable and I hope they live their shame every day.

[disfunctionredon]

Did anyone else get chills when Lenny died and Arthur refuses to move?

[yomamapussystink]

follow your dreams

[forestwildflower-deactivated202]

Holy shite

[cyrodiil-burns]

No he didn’t

[f1ukemeister24]

You won’t regret unmuting this.

[echo-five-whiskey]

OH my god

[disfunctionredon]

Yeah that's usually how my games of Gta V go too

[disfunctionredon]

As I'm listening to back episodes of mbmbam Griffin, on episode 212, describes his desire to play dungeons and dragons as a mighty need, a hunger.

Two episodes later The Adventure Zone pilot airs.

I'm on to you, you sneaky little fart.

[disfunctionredon]

Does anyone have super detailrd fan art of Tres Horny Boys in full gear? Like Magnus where you can pick out all his magic items? I have a mighty need

[disfunctionredon]

Strong beer and a new chapter of Critical Role. Life is good

[disfunctionredon]

So is no one else angry at Samwell Tarly for stealing Gilly's credit for discovering the secrect wedding between Rhaegar and Lyanna? Typical man stealing credit from a better woman...

[disfunctionredon]

Can we all agree that Cersie Lanister isnt really pregnant? She is either using it for sympythy points or she is crazy enough to convince herself that she is. Either way when he finds out Jamie is finally going to be free from her spell and murder her ass

[disfunctionredon]

Percy is secrets huh? Does that mean he will be tempted by vecna?

[disfunctionredon]

Rogue Archetype Ruffian V1.0 First real attempt at a homebrew subclass. Input would be great!

[noblecrumpet-dorkvision]

Inspired Encounter: Karest, the Storymaker

image credit: koutanagamori

As your party is traversing the mountains, a man in a kilt comes over the next hill. He has a thick mat of white hair and carries enough supplies to fend for himself out in these highlands. He introduces himself eloquently as Karest, a travelling bard. He converses with the PCs and offers them his Song of Rest during their next camp. They must need it after their long journey. 

Karest shares some of the stories of the heroes he has traveled with. The PCs don’t notice right away, but most of his stories end with a tragic end for the heroes. He is always pretty vague about how he managed to escape. After hearing of some of the PCs’ exploits, he explains that there are many dungeons in the hills that are long-buried forts of ancient tribes. Karest offers to lead them to one and join them in their adventures for a while.

All seems normal and Karest will act as a regular bard would, but will occasionally undermine the PCs with his spells and by avoiding direct combat. He will use Control Weather to create stormy, dramatic weather [and more importantly, block the moon at night if he needs to]. He uses Hallucinatory Terrain to make the battlefield more grandiose and dramatic. Sometimes he will add a Fog Cloud or dancing lights near enemies to make them seem scarier. All that Karest wants is a great story to tell, but it’s never good enough for him. 

During battles, he starts composing his next story as the PCs fight, often referring to events currently happening as if they happened in the past; “ah yes, the rogue was a daring… no, cunning! A cunning swordsman.” Then, as the PCs finish the dungeon, Karest starts saying how tragic these new heroes are that they perished in the dungeon so suddenly. He then will transform into his hybrid wolf form once the players have been weakened by the dungeon. His stories always end in misery because he preys on weakened heroes. This keeps the mountains mysterious, keeps Karest well-fed, and gives him plenty of stories to tell.

Karest (CR 13)

Karest is all about theatrics and will ensure the players see him transform into his hybrid form. He fully abuses his Hallucinatory Terrain, Fog Cloud, and Greater Invisibility to gain the drop on enemies and zone the battlefield. He uses Crown of Madness to pit the PCs against each other, and Tasha’s Hideous Laughter and Charm Person to take out the main threats. He has seen the PCs in action and can punish them by knowing their strengths and weaknesses. Still, his ego can be stroked and he can’t help himself but to work on his story midcombat or taunt the PCs with every spell or attack. His hit points assume that players have magic weapons at this point in the game.

HP 205; AC: 18; Spd: 30 ft. (40 ft. in wolf form)

STR 13; DEX 15; CON 14; INT 10; WIS 11; CHA 16

Skills: Stealth +8, Perception +4, Deception +8

Resistances: nonmagical weapons that aren’t silvered.

Shapechanger: Can use his action to transform into either his human, hybrid, or wolf form.

Keen Hearing and Smell: Karest has advantage on Perception checks that rely on hearing or smell.

Actions

Multiattack: Attacks once with his bite and once with his claws or shortsword, or once with his claws and twice with his shortsword.

+8 Bite (1d8+2) piercing damage. If the target is humanoid, it must succeed at a DC 17 CON save or be cursed with werewolf lycanthrophy.

+8 Claws (2d6+5) slashing damage.

+8 Shortsword (1d10+5) slashing damage.

Abilities

Spellcasting (Spell Save DC 18):

At will: Dancing Lights, Mage Hand, True Strike

3/day: Tasha’s Hideous Laughter, Charm Person, Fog Cloud

2/day: Crown of Madness, Hallucinatory Terrain

1/day: Greater Invisibility, Control Weather

Bardic Inspiration d8: as the bard ability. Can’t use it on himself.

Song of Rest d6: as the bard ability. Most likely only used once when the PCs meet Karest.

Countercharm: as the bard ability. He usually has no reason to use this ability except while he is friendly with the PCs.

[disfunctionredon]

Love this

[disfunctionredon]

The relics

Ive been trying to put it together and i may be missing something but i think i am close. So to make the light of creation less desirable and therefore harder to track the ipre crew splits it into 7 peices. Each peice is a powerful weapon designed to combat the hunger when the time finally comes. Magnus makes the Temporal Chalice Merle makes the Gaia Sash Lucrisha makes the White Oak Staff Davenport makes the Occulus Lup makes the Pheonix Fire Gauntlet Then i get stuck on the Philosophers Stone and the Animus Bell. Both seem good for Taako but neither seems right for Barry. Any ideas?

[laoisepotter]

But Did We Forget About Orcus

[disfunctionredon]

It would be very Matt for everything to come full circle

[saleh-nix]

I don’t know why Im getting so frustrated with everyone thinking this is the endgame.

I just think that too much has gone on for it to end with them running into the shadowfell and just pre-ganking Vecna.

Vecna is gonna rise. He’s gonna leave the shadowfell and the war of the gods is gonna return to the land of the living.

And so will begin Vox Machinas God tier arc

[kensbricks]

Check out this video on YouTube: Critical Role’s Taliesin Jaffe D&D Character Advice https://youtu.be/w8i9dYz7c1E

[disfunctionredon]

Reblogging to watch later

[disfunctionredon]

The critical podcast came at just the right time. Hello new work place activities.

[feywild-trickster]

I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m almost starting to feel like Sam’s roleplaying is just too subtle for some parts of the fandom? Like some of the criticisms I’ve been reading of 99 are just like……….did you actually watch the episode? Did you actually pay attention to the things that came out of his mouth?

Don’t mean to sound snobby I’m just genuinely baffled. I’m sure some people are just feeling emotional but it’s really bizarre to see characters’ actions/statements etc twisted around or outright ignored.