I haven’t been on tumblr in who knows how long but today I remembered my personal hobby in writing about my experience.
if I could use one word to describe this, it would be: tears. at least on my part. I had a horrible headache afterwards from crying so much but it was so hard to stop. I left a fanletter for him too, and although I’m sure he receives a million, I’m glad that I could convey my thoughts to him in a language that he speaks. ;;
I’ve liked DBSK since 2010 and before this concert, I had officially seen Changmin, Yunho, and Junsu in concert. they’re all perfect. I love my boys so much.
even as I fell out of hardcore stanning kpop, these boys (along with other perfect people such as IU) have a special place in my heart. I feel like I grew up with them, and I basically did -- I knew them throughout my teen years. they made me laugh, cry, dance, and sing so much, and even though I had people in my life who would find my fixation ridiculous, it was never ridiculous to me. hey, I had some wonderfully down-to-earth, dangerously hardworking legends in my life who taught me about friendship and love. what’s your excuse?
and not only was it just the boys. it was the fandom itself. this was the first fandom where I really attempted to make friends with people just because I wanted to share in the excitement. it turned me into a very friendly, almost aggressive person when it comes to becoming friends with people. one of my friends once told me I’m good at networking lol. but the people I befriended over those years, while some have come and gone, others have stayed and I just know these will be lasting friendships. even with the people I’ve lost contact with, I am thankful for the experience. fandom was a rollercoaster but I will never forget the constant yelling/crying on twitter whenever something huge happened -- they were such fun times.
when the lights turned off and everyone turned on their lightsticks, I heard some “oohs” about the color of the sea -- there was red and white everywhere. (with some green lmao.) and my first immediate thought: I’m home. it’s the red ocean.
then, like I said, I cried a lot. I heard One Kiss and I felt myself seize up with the itch of tears forming and everyone screamed as he rose to the stage floor. then he started singing and I just. my favorite voice out of DBSK, live. I couldn’t handle it. AND THEN. he started singing in Japanese and I cried harder while everyone cheered.
I have this problem where if I cry once at something, I will continue to cry for the rest of it. so I basically cried for 3 hours. it was extremely draining. but at the same time I was so happy. every time I calmed down and told myself to just focus on waving my lightstick or singing along or whatever, I’d see his blissful face or realize where I was and start crying again lol
and then came his first ment. he talked a lot throughout the concert and he really enjoyed it. argh I swear if I were a singer too I’d totally talk about anything that comes to mind, which is pretty much what he did in some parts hahaha he’s so sweet. he really enjoyed interacting and fooling around with the audience. I just. it made me so happy to see that he was the same person I came to adore from the beginning.
I can’t exactly remember the order of events but I kept thinking to myself that I never wanted it to end, and I was afraid that every time he went backstage he’d end the concert, but there’d still be a lot left lol. I remember that he said that if he’d had more time, he’d love to sing more Japanese songs, and everyone cheered. other than that, he kept talking about how he missed us all while he was in the army and kept thinking about what he’d do when he’d come back -- the first thing the fans told him was okaeri / welcome home ;;;
but my favorite part had to have been that he mentioned he was already in his 30s but we all called him cute and he was like “what do you mean I’m cute I’m too old” and we would not stop calling him cute lmaooo
he also did some kind of kiss cam(?) kind of thing -- basically there were cameras around the arena focused on certain people and he’d look for fans who were holding signs or fans that were dressed a certain way or something. some of the fans who were put on camera had very elaborate/long signs that he patiently read out loud and some of the fans cried because they were happy to be acknowledged. it was so sweet. I also loved that he talked to some of the male fans too and for this one dude who was like 14 that went only because his mom is a fan, Jae told him “I hope you become a fan and come alone next time” omg looool
it was very evident that he was just. so happy to enjoy the audience and interact with them and everything. his smile was so genuine and free and it made me so proud to see him doing what he loves most. it was such a great rock concert too -- this is what he was meant to do.
also, Mine. my soul left my body during that song. what a fucking flawless song. I will never recover
at the end, he had a short vcr where he told us that he wanted us all to sing I’ll Protect You together. the song started and the lyrics came on screen, and the audience had perfect Korean pronunciation and the tears just started again /O\ fuck my life, it was like listening to Kiss the Baby Sky sung by the fans. and then this nerd was like “you guys have great pronunciation! mine’s good too, right? :D” lmao and we all sang together.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to accurately express everything I felt because it was my first time ever seeing my favorite singer, but it just felt like bliss. 幸せ.
DBSK has meant and always will mean so much to me. I will love and support them forever.
I’m so grateful that the circumstances of my life worked out like this too. it was just extremely fortunate timing and I feel like the luckiest person in the world. I remember thinking “the only thing that would make this better is a DB5K concert in Japan while I’m here” lmao
that being said, why should I ever leave?
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