The lost Scotsman

Photographer, Artist, Welder, Dad

[disgruntled-wolfie]

Echoes of the past.

Dad, it's almost been a decade since you crossed the veil from what we know to be, into the lands beyond our time. Ten long years since i've been able to ask you for your advice. I was so stupid to waste all those years. Squandered my chances to learn from you. I never appreciated you for who you were to me, and what I could gain from you... and I took you for granted.

In the last ten years, i've seen many high points. Grand victories and joyous occasions. But the years have also been riddled with strife and struggle, and many more low points that I haven't known how to deal with. There have been so many times i've wanted to ask you the questions that only you could really answer...

I want, so desperately for you to be here to help me find my way through this storm... but at the same time, I'm grateful that you're not here to see what a fucking mess i've made of things.

[disgruntled-wolfie]

Making ground and losing my mind.

This year will mark ten years since losing my father to cancer. The unimaginable void left since his passing has been generously filled with self destructive tendencies and a long list of people I'm still desperately trying to apologize to.

While my father's passing certainly wasn't the only link in a long chain of landmark events to change my life over a fairly short period of time, it has definitely been amongst the most damaging.

So I've been trying to fix as much of the chaos I've inflicted upon myself or others, and come to terms with the things that can't be mended as best as I can...

I have no idea where I was going with this, but I know this probably won't be my last musing on the subject anytime soon.

[disgruntled-wolfie]

The screaming in my head.

Somebody ask me things. My head is full and I just need to interact.

[disgruntled-wolfie]

Soon.... I need a party hat.

[disgruntled-wolfie]

Feeling lost.

I've come to the realization that I have no idea what direction I want to take this platform in. I know the potential is vast and intimidating, but my own interests put together can be best described as discordant... despite coexisting in my own head already, so it has to make sense somewhere, right?