i deserve a gold star for being so sweet and nice and not killing

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if i look back, i am lost
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@disonansas
i deserve a gold star for being so sweet and nice and not killing
slut era (just trying to make new friends)
starting to think I may actually have some issues and even perhaps problems
that’s between me and my delusions
i just want to invite all my friends over to have a glass of water with me
unstoppable force (my desire to have a relationship) vs immovable object (my fear of dating)
me. me when a poem says something ive felt before
i loooove being delusional. catch me ignoring reality altogether. catch me never being reasonable ever. catch me straight up making up things in my head to cope. delusion is my best friend
after seeing your friends for a few hours sometimes u walk away and return home with a little ball of glowing golden light in your chest
i have so many psychological issues. who wants to make out with me
love passes thru me at all times like an electric current
anger shame & grief, also, but love most of all
driving 90 minutes to my favorite empty lot to smoke 1 cigarette
surviving on your own isn't strength… letting love in and out is :-)
having a crush is so embarrassing i need to be lobotomized
like what if i want us to hold hands & maybe even jump off a cliff together. whatever. fuck you
that’s my emotional support mutual that I never interact with
i will not lie, friends in my phone, i have been imagining affection from time to time