keith and piloting the black lion
they don’t get along because he puts his feet on the dash
black: ‘shiro? is that you my son?’ keith: 'no it’s me keith. i am your paladin’ black: 'hmph. i suppose the smaller budget version will have to do for now’
once keith bonds with her he can hear her voice in his head
black: 'pssst, keith. listen’ keith: 'yeah?’ black: 'i have some wisdom for you’ keith: 'omg what is it???’ black: ’…if you keep chewing with your mouth open i’ll turn you into stuffing’
when she’s mad she locks all the controls and plays elevator music
black: 'you’re nothing but a vegetable’ keith crying: 'why are you saying this to me’ black: 'you’re a parsnip. a carrot. i’ll turn you into mash potato’
when keith scatters crumbs on the dashboard black is like 'yeet!’ and ejects him from the cockpit
keith opening a drawer and finding 37 small frogs, softly: 'what the fuck…..’
keith: 'so what did you do on the castleship for 10 000 years?’ black: 'i minded my own business. you know, unlike some people’
he finds out she likes flowers, so they use her teleport ability to go to a planet with a meadow where she tumbles in the grass
black: 'now wash all the grass stains off’ keith: 'what?!’
they spend hours roasting zarkon and seeing who can come up with the best insult
black: 'i actually wanted the girl to be the pilot. the princess. she’s much more capable’ keith: 'so why didn’t you choose her?’ black: 'because you’re easier to pick on’
they both tell shiro’s most embarrassing stories to each other and laugh until keith’s chest hurts
black: 'i’m gonna black out. no pun intended’
lance comes up to the cockpit and he’s talking softly and laughing with keith. black dims the lights and starts playing romantic jazz
black: 'do you like the blue boy?’ keith: 'yeah. he’s so selfless and beautiful and smart and-’ black: 'ok damn it’s a yes or no question i didn’t ask for your life story’
keith: 'why did you choose shiro as your pilot? i know it’s because he’s the most level-headed and the leader, but…is there a special reason?’ black: 'because his toddies are like rockmelons and that ass’
when she’s flying she always goes real slow just to piss keith off
keith: 'go faster!!’ black: 'this is a school zone shitbird’
keith: 'lance really wanted to pilot you, you know’ black: 'soon’ keith: 'what?’ black: 'i said spoon what’s wrong with you’
she carries a giant banner with the words 'fuck you zarkon’ in purple gel pen, and they fly past his main ship and giggle
keith: 'the galra suck’ black: 'haha you said succ’
theartofmadeline
blakekathryn
areudirty
