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17 - She/Her - I just write stuff to cope with emotions/having bad days - don’t post too often, but will reblog things I think are important

[dissad]

Don’t get excited about things because it never seems to work out. This is so dumb. The one class that I’m actually super excited about being the one that gets canceled…

[dissad]

I just want to be normal.

Why do I have to deal with this?

Why did he have a platform for so long?

I can’t do this anymore.

I just want to be normal.

Why can’t I be normal?

Why did I ever watch those videos?

I hate this so much.

[dissad]

my dream was so stressful it caused a panic attack and woke me up

[dissad]

I’m not scared of the possible side effects of having an ED, but rather the waste of money from my school meal plan. I wish I only got a small amount. Four years here with a meal plan that will force me to eat. At least I can just get a small amount. I am not getting the Freshman 15.

[dissad]

Google is so stupid!!! I am crying rn because I just lost years of work because someone fucking changed my password and it logged me out of all my gmail. That was the main one I used so everything is completely gone now…

[dissad]

I thought I was doing ok. I thought I was over it. Of course, one innocent message messes everything up.

Why did middle school me do this? It was my choice to watch him so why does it feel so bad now?

I want to tell them not to send me stuff by him but how can I without revealing the truth?

[dankmemeuniversity]

[dissad]

Just thinking about in fifth grade when I could grade ten math but didn’t understand that I was getting bullied by the people I thought were my best friends…

[doctornanitesreblogs]

I have a friend on the spectrum, and he just lets his best friend bully him and claims it’s not bullying, “they’re just teasing” and I find it really distressing, but I can’t do anything about it as long as he wants to be friends with those people. 

[dissad]

Yeah, I understand how that can be. My friends claimed they were just “teasing” or “joking”, which made me continue being friends with them even though I knew what they were doing was wrong.

[dissad]

Just thinking about in fifth grade when I could grade ten math but didn’t understand that I was getting bullied by the people I thought were my best friends…

[dissad]

Why can’t I get through a single day without crying?

Everyone I have ever met probably has seen me cry at one point or another. I have no emotional control, when I feel any negative emotion, I start to cry.

[dissad]

Learned the other day that if I’m bouncing, no sad thoughts. Great for when in sad mood...

[thehoh-society]

Reblog if you have ever been scolded as a child (and as an adult) for not realizing that someone was talking to you.

[dissad]

Not a sad thing (well I guess kinda since it took so long, but eh), but I watched a tiktok video recently and that was the first time I understood that I have an auditory processing disorder. The person explained so clearly that I actually know now that when my hearing goes “blurry” (idk the word), it’s my auditory processing not working. It’s not just something that only I deal with.

This is why education on disability is so important. If kids have any sort of mental illness or mental disability, a lot of them won’t know (especially with mine being mostly inward) unless they’re specifically told “hey, this is what this is like, here’s a specific example.” Before I saw that video, I didn’t think I had an auditory processing disorder, I just thought sometimes I couldn’t hear and that that was normal.

[empty--bucket1]

Source: empty–bucket

[hopeeducationstuff-blog]

[dissad]

thinking about how my class was always the “good” class to teachers but a majority of us hated each other/a lot of them bullied me and anyone that came later into the class.

[dissad]

One thing I see way to often is people blaming the bullying victim for being bullied. Like I think on tiktok there was an audio going “you weren’t bullied for no reason, you were bullied because you did ______” or whatever. It’s a stupid audio that I actually hate, and made me ask myself what did I do wrong to deserve being bullied. The thing is sometimes it is for no reason, or some dumb one like being the new kid (though I was the new kid in grade three and was bullied up until high school). And that audio described the bullies more than me. It was somebody who bullied me who introduced me to anime. It was somebody who bullied me who helped me figure out my sexuality. Like I can’t think of a reason that made me an outcast in my own class for so many years. Another thing being the bully is probably bullied at home... but the bullies all had pretty great lives, and anything bad that did happen to them happened after they had been bullying me. I’m not saying something couldn’t have happened before I ever met them, I’m just saying that none of the stereotypical reasons that everyone seems to believe are always accurate.

As well, sometimes the bullies were my best friends. Like they always invited me to the birthday sleepovers, took me out for my birthday, etc. So because of that, I thought they were my friends, and then they made me cry. When they made me cry though, they were also the people who helped me.