skinny pending

lw:56/cw:68/gw1:65/gw2:62/gw3:59/gw4:56

[dissapearing-act-done-poorly]

I'm gonna say it because noone else will. All in recovery is thin privilege.

[bihbayyz-deactivated20220217]

my mental health was so much better when i knew that not eating makes me happy but now i’m stuck in not eating for the whole day and binging at the end of the day

it fucks with my head why can’t i just not eat ughhh

[dissapearing-act-done-poorly]

I hate eating but I keep doing it.

[dissapearing-act-done-poorly]

I am so fucking fat.

[dissapearing-act-done-poorly]

The guilt when you eat smthn bc u felt faint and then realised u could've just drank coffee.

[dissapearing-act-done-poorly]

I could have totally done a 24 hr fast but indeed I have a mother. 18 hrs it is.

[dissapearing-act-done-poorly]

I don't enjoy hunger at all.

[dissapearing-act-done-poorly]

I have been stuck in a vicious binge-restrict cycle and I have no clue how to get out of it.

[dissapearing-act-done-poorly]

I hate my body.

[metamorphesque]

― Anne Carson, Plainwater: Essays and Poetry

[dissapearing-act-done-poorly]

Starting to feel guilt when eating healthy low cal foods like protein bars and peppers and hummus. Restriction is becoming a second home again and it would be lying if I said I wasn't excited.

[dissapearing-act-done-poorly]

We all agree alcohol calories don't count right?

[excorpiano]

[dissapearing-act-done-poorly]

Just watched for the love of nancy. It was rlly good. It was definitely way better than to the bone as in more accurate and less triggering for a normal person. Plus it was actually scary and got me thinking yk. But ultimately it did make me realise some things abt myself and why I do what I do so I did kinda succeed in triggering myself. Anyways I recommend it, it's a good watch. Oh and also the whole thing is on yt!

[anasbitchisback]

I’m so pathetically average that it makes me want to cry. There isn’t something special about me or an activity where I have my own thing, my sister comes and does it too. I have no identity. Being mentally ill is my thing and I can’t even do that right

[dissapearing-act-done-poorly]

So yeah I miscalculated and I can't burn 1000 calories by running on the treadmill BUT I did burn 750 calories in the gym today so fuck yeah.

And yesterday I ate a whole pizza bc I was out with my fam and didn't gain at all which was a very pleasant surprise.

[dissapearing-act-done-poorly]

It's snowing AND I got my period. So much for my exercise bulimia plans :(