[dissociativecat]

Having DID is me forgetting about this blog for a year and a half then remembering it again during an extremely distressing and active season for my system. This tends to happen a lot

[dissociativecat]

A revolutionary way of healing I discovered through maturation and specialized therapy is allowing your system to live in and exist in an environment you wish you had as a child.

Don’t restrict them, neglect, or ignore them. Don’t become impatient or angry. This will guarantee chaos.

Allow them to express themselves, listen to their voice and opinions, and don’t silence or hush them. If you disagree with an alter’s intentions or actions, instead of isolating or punishing them, become closer to them, there’s a reason they’re acting the way they are. Hear their cries and let them know you’re there, that you have their back, and they aren’t alone. Sometimes the loneliest, angriest person just needs support. Sometimes they need guidance. Sometimes they need a new perspective.

Foster an environment that encourages honesty and collaboration. By listening and responding to their needs you will inspire them to keep talking, continue seeking growth, and reach out. Over time this will help you not only understand and love your system but it’ll also help you learn to enforce and respect boundaries, explore confidence, and self-esteem issues in daily life many chronic trauma survivors struggle with.

[dissociativecat]

I find one of the hardest things about being a system is the crippling loneliness that can accompany it.

I often have to hide my condition from others in fear of being taken advantage of by the wrong people. For safety measures I have cut ties with the majority of my family including a parent who I will never have contact with again for as long as I am living.

Uneducated professionals will still try to convince me my disorder does not exist and erase my existence despite a backed diagnosis and intense specialized treatment, something many of us in the community aren’t fortunate enough to see in our lifetime.

The relationships I have I can count on one hand. I consider myself lucky to have a therapist for the sole reason of having one guaranteed, real human interaction per week, for one hour.

What memories I do have of current or old friendships recurrently fade in and out of my awareness. I want more friends but half the time I can’t remember the ones I already have, or what we’ve done, and that adds another layer of sadness to this chronic solitary state.

Internal communication can be blocked, alters can retract their presence, and even within myself where I am supposed to have many of me I end up feeling lonelier than ever.

The isolation that can sometimes come with being a system isn’t something I’d wish on anyone. If any part of you — if any alter is reading this and understands this pain from the bottom of their heart — know that someone else out there shares their suffering. You AREN’T alone. As another system, I have your back.

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[dissociativecat]

shutting down.

05/09/23