He asks you something and you struggle to answer? He's leaning all up in your face and waiting, even if its only making you struggle more. working on something? He's leaning over your shoulder and talking in your ear and yes hes definitely doing that on purpose and honestly if he presses up against you and digs his chin into your shoulder any harder you'd think he's trying to be your own shoulder bird mantle cape thing whatever
He keeps a very respectful workplace distance of an inch between you two when you're talking to someone else. he starts fiddling with your clothes if the conversation isn't very engaging. pinch him at your own discretion.
It was four torturous days before the recruitment letter came. You never thought that you would ever be so eager to return to Snezhnaya, but with every passing day there was less and less left for you to miss about Sumeru. The backlash from the rumors stayed just as bad. People still badmouthed you to one another in plain sight. Professors hesitated to let you sit in on their lectures as if you had actually ever even done anything.
That had to be the worst part of it all. You had genuinely done nothing. All you had to blame was the frost of Snezhnaya running through your veins and the abominations to humanity that were your parents.
The letter had told you to head down to Port Ormos. You’d found it at least a little amusing that they were taking you from a port used primarily for shipping wares, not people. Although, to the Fatui you were probably even less valuable than such.
You smoothed out your skirt as you read the letter over one more time. Just to make sure you’d understood the directions properly. A silly gesture of course. The letter was very direct. You could already deduce from the tone it was written in that the head of the applied sciences department was not one for funny business. Not that you minded of course. After your experience in Sumeru, your main priority wasn’t exactly to build a ton of relationships with your peers. Not after realizing how quickly it all comes crumbling down.
The crawl of time grew even more torturous as you waited for the boat. When it finally crept out of the horizon and into your line of sight, you let out a small sigh of relief. Despite your love-hate relationship with Snezhnaya, your mind felt slightly at peace at knowing you were returning. Home was home after all. You had never gotten used to the warmth and humidity of Sumeru anyways. Even in your happy first years after escaping the Fatui, you had a bone to pick with the heat.
When the boat finally docked, you allowed a few minutes for the crew to settle down. It also gave you a moment to still your heart. The eagerness to get home was slowly starting to give way to anxiety. You couldn’t help it.
What if this wasn’t the right way to go?
What if you’re just giving the world what it wants?
For you to be the villain
You shook yourself out of it quickly. Second guesses would just dig you into a deeper hole. No great discovery has ever been made by a timid scholar. You were never meant for the shadows, and you certainly couldn’t waste your intelligence simply-
“Miss! I’ve been trying to get your attention” a voice calls out to you.
It’s a relatively young man, maybe a few years younger than you are. You narrow your eyes down onto him slowly. Small pieces of his burnt orange hair peeked haphazardly out of the newsboy hat atop his head. You clear your throat gently “My apologies, I suppose I’ve spaced out while waiting for the ship”.
The young man shrugs “It’s whatever. Anyways, are you the one that we’re here for?”.
“Yes, that would be me” you say as you eye the Fatui emblem on the side of the boat and the one embroidered on his coat.
Goodness, he must be dying in this weather…
“Can I see that letter?”
You nod and hand it to him. The paper is slightly worn now, the envelope barely hanging on by a thread. You had read it over and over again since you got it and carried it around with you everyday since. He doesn’t question the state of the letter but does raise a brow upon reading its contents.
“Applied sciences?” he says with a small laugh.
“Yes,” you respond curtly. “The man I spoke to when enlisting had the same reaction. What’s so bad about applied sciences?”
“The sector itself is fine. It’s the lunatic that runs it that’s the issue”
Your lips purse in deep thought when you hear that “The other man said something similar. Can you tell me about him?”
“I guess,” the sailor murmurs hesitantly as he begins to lead you onto the boat “But there isn’t really all that much to tell. They call him The Doctor, or Dottore”
You parrot his name softly under your breath. You recognized the title a little bit.
“One of the Harbingers, yes?”
“Yeah” he grunts as he hoists your trunk onto the ship for you.
Once you’re all settled into the ship and the man has given the crew an all clear he sits down with you.
“Sounds like you aren’t exactly a stranger to the name. What do you know?”
“Less than you do, I can assure you. I used to live in Snezhnaya before I joined the Akademiya. I’d heard of the Harbingers back then but they hadn’t been as politically active as I hear they are now.”
He nods slowly as you explain. “I see… Well, I’d be wary once you arrive in Snezhnaya. None of the recruits in the applied sciences sector have ever had pleasant stories to tell about working there” he says with wide eyes. “I mean, you didn’t hear it from me, but there’s rumors of him doing human dissections and weird shit like that”
You fight the urge to roll your eyes and scoff at him. You’ve always hated rumors. The prejudice they bring. The misunderstandings they instigated.
“Well how do you think scientists know anything about the human body?”
“I don’t know, man. But there’s other stuff too, you know. Like some people say he does wacky surgeries” he looks around to make sure none of the crew are listening, especially because none of the higher ranking workers would look too kindly on workplace gossip. “A lot of those poor applied science workers say that their colleagues occasionally go missing. Coincidentally right before The Doctor does his big experiments”.
He backtracks after a minute and looks you directly in the eyes “Like I said, you never heard any of this from me, got it?”
“Well I mean… obviously. I didn’t even ask for your name. Even if I wanted to waste my time spreading around gossip like that, I wouldn’t have a name to circle back to”
The man gives one more of those little half hearted shrugs as he stands up, swiping dust off of his pants. “Fair enough, ma’am. Tread carefully” he says with a small tip of his hat.
You manage a small smile and a nod back. It was the least you could do. He was the first human being to show any kind of regard for you in the past few months. You found yourself wishing him safe travels under your breath.
Your gaze falls to the scene beyond the boat. You had hardly even realized that it had already started moving.
You decided to make a point not to look back. Not that anyone would notice, but it felt like a personal milestone.
As you peered out at the vast, shimmering blue of the ocean you sighed. You swore you could already feel the air getting colder.
A/N: Okay we’re done with the spam posts everyone, now to the normal posting schedule…
You sighed as you finally made it back home, shutting the door behind you and rubbing your temples. As you set down your satchel, you make your way to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. You mentally thank yourself for going out to buy groceries earlier in the week, glad that you put aside your hesitation after having assumed it’d be the better decision in the long run.
Not too long later you find yourself in your room, sitting on the floor with papers sprawled out all over the place. More reminders. Reminders of the goals you had when you arrived in Sumeru.
You smiled as your fingers brushed the pieces of parchment, scanning through some of them. Each one was a paper you’d published. Some with stamps signaling the praise it had gotten from scholars all over Sumeru and some with notes from professors applauding your genius. You found yourself mourning what was slowly slipping through your fingers. Your state of renown as one of the best current Akademiya scholars had already given way to notoriety.
You spent hours reading your old works, occasionally smiling about how simply intelligent you were. Maybe it was selfish. Maybe you weren’t that good of a student if you already believed you surpassed the master. But you didn’t care much. Too many bridges had been burned by this point.
You sat up, eyebrows furrowed. Now that you thought about it, what the hell were you doing wallowing like this? Just like that, the clouds that had muddled your mind for weeks cleared. You’d spent so long running away from your roots. But what if it was simply a rebellion? You hadn’t thought about the pros to being with the Fatui up until now.
How childish… you thought. What if the path to success had been under my nose the whole time?
Quickly, you stacked your papers back in your usual meticulous order before hastily plopping them atop your desk.
Now back out in the bumbling network of Sumeru’s streets, hope had returned to your eyes, but ironically enough, this time, you were planning to escape one prison to the one you had originally escaped.
You practically skipped all the way to the adventurer’s guild. You caught a glimpse of some of the guild members that used to greet you with a smile when they saw you. These days you get nothing but uneasy pity smiles and awkward shuffles in the opposite direction.
No matter. You thought as you walked past the guild and towards the Fatui recruiter that always posted himself up in a shady corner. Today, none of that matters. You make sure to make eye contact with the man before deliberately continuing on.
“Hey, you.”
Bingo
Of course you knew he’d do that. He was pretty much paid to stand there and heckle people. You also knew that one of the Fatui’s main tactics was to use the discomfort of others to gain leverage in any given situation.
You turn around and tilt your head, pointing your finger to yourself in a show of confusion.
“Obviously you” the recruiter grunts.
You step closer to him, watching the recruiter as he rolls his eyes. “I’m supposed to give you a whole spiel about why you should come to Snezhnaya and volunteer as a soldier for the Fatui. You know, blah blah blah…” he starts, barely bothering to make any contact with you. “I won’t bother, I’m sure you don’t care. I just need to meet a quota to be honest”.
You look him dead in the eye and shake your head. “No, no. I’ll join”. The recruiter looks at you for a moment, expecting you to admit the joke, or maybe even simply walk away. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time. Once it becomes clear that you weren’t planning to do any such thing, he bursts into laughter. “You?” he chuckles. “I’m not trying to be a jerk or anything, but you don’t seem the soldier type”.
You roll your eyes. He’s a Fatui recruiter. He couldn’t care less if he comes off as a jerk or not. “That’s because I don’t want to be a soldier” you say firmly. He wipes the tears of laughter from his eyes, making a half heated attempt at returning to professionalism, “Oh yeah?”.
“Yeah,” you spit back as you attempt to reign in your annoyance. “I want to work in applied sciences”. Of course, that earns you another stare of uncertainty and mild amusement. “Very specific… Has someone attempted to bring you in before?” the recruiter asks. You shrug. “You could say that. I assure you I’m qualified”.
“Yeah, no kidding,” he chuckles. “No one asks to join that sector if they aren’t either hyper intelligent, deranged, or have a death wish. Hell, sometimes all three”. You tilt your head. “What? Why?” you ask as your eyebrows furrow. You couldn’t recall a specific reason why anyone would steer away from applied sciences back when you were with your parents. If anything, back in the day applied sciences was the most desired sector because a lot of the drafted fatuus didn’t want to be on the front lines.
“You didn’t hear this from me, but the Harbinger that is in charge of that sector is nothing short of a nut case” he murmurs in a hush-hush tone. You roll your eyes again. This buffoon has ideas built on likely nothing but hearsay and gossip. “Listen, you said you need to meet a quota, no?”
“Well, I mean yeah, but everyone knows recruiters in nations other than Snezhnaya never actually manage to recruit anyone. My quota is more abou-”
“Celestia, help me,” you groan. “May I enlist or not, sir?”
The recruiter lets out a small breath. “Okay…. It’s your funeral, lady” he mutters as he hands you a clipboard. You nod curtly as you grab it from him. You use the pen he provides to put down your name, birthdate, etc. Once you hand it back to him he looks back up at you, tilting his head slightly. “Your last name…”
“What about it?”
“Well… it looks Snezhnayan.”
“What, you’ve never heard of a boat?”
“It’s just, if you were gonna end up joining the Fatui anyways, why’d you end up here?”
You freeze up slightly in defense “So I could learn. I can’t join something like applied sciences if I’ve never been trained”. Of course, that was a lie. You had been taught and trained plenty in the time before you left your homeland. You simply didn’t want to explain yourself to some lowlife recruiter, not to mention your sensitivity on the matter….
You shake your unnecessary thoughts out of your head, all you were accomplishing was prolonging an interaction that could’ve been over ages ago.
“Didn’t mean to strike a nerve, man…”
“It’s fine,” you mutter, turning away.
“When can I expect my recruitment letter?”
“Very soon, I assure you. Maybe even tomorrow… The Doctor has been looking for subjects.”
A/N: I already had these first few chapters written and posted Wattpad so I’m just dumping them on here lol I promise I figure out how formatting works here one day. I’m a bit of a grandma with tech sometimes, I won’t lieeee
Your life in Sumeru that you had constructed so meticulously was now just as full of crap as the one you had left back home.
You knew there would always be jealous people. You didn’t want to toot your own horn, but frankly, you were a genius. Unfortunately, there are just some people that can’t appreciate natural talent when they see it.
So it was no surprise to you when your classmate did some digging into your past. You had always accounted for that. No one that finds the need to build an entire new life is stupid enough to leave obvious tracks. What you didn’t account for was how deep she would dig.
Now here you are in the House of Daena, practically sunk into your chair, hiding in the most obscure section you could find. Everyone knew now. You tried not to care. For weeks. Months. Nearly a year now. But it wouldn’t go away. People you nearly considered friends hardly spoke to you. Professors turned their noses up at you.
You knew why. No one wants Fatui scum in their school. Snezhnaya had caused enough issues in Sumeru. Who knew what one of them could do inside the most precious school in the entire nation.
Except you weren’t Fatui. That was your parents. Sure, you were a little odd compared to Sumerian standards, but people had thought of it as endearing or quirky before the news spread. You couldn’t help it though, your parents hardly wanted you to be born at all, it wasn’t all that surprising when you were left neglected in whatever stronghold they were stationed in that month. You simply weren’t very well adjusted to normal social interactions.
Oh, but it didn’t end there. Some even second guessed your intelligence. You could hardly believe the nerve of those morons.
“I bet they downloaded a bunch of data into her brain at birth in some creepy little Fatui lab”
“I bet her parents let them do experiments to triple her brain size or some weird shit like that”
Archons… you thought. For such intelligent people, they really are so stupid.
No. You weren’t experimented on. No, you weren’t a double agent. And no, you won’t show off your Fatui insignia. You don’t have one.
You.
Are not.
Fatui.
That’s what you based the entire idea of your new identity around anyways. You weren’t your parents. You could break the cycle. You could instead learn as much as you could at the Akademiya and use that knowledge to help the world, right?
Right?
Right….
You sighed, sinking even further into the stupid chair, the book that you were totally reading slumped shamefully out of your hand. Even the literature in Sumeru wanted absolutely nothing to do with you.
Once again, your thoughts slip away from your usual logical grasp…
Growing up in those Fatui strongholds you were so lonely. Cold inside and out. But you didn’t let it bring you down. You got out. You made it. You had your plan.
Now you’re back to square one.
You slam the stupid book shut having realized you weren’t doing anything but wallowing in misery.
You stood up and grabbed your bag, leaving the book on the table. You couldn’t be bothered to put it on the cart in the front. Much less actually remember where you got it from.
With your mind half submerged in fury, you made your way out. Of course not before tripping on some idiot’s foot that was stuck half way out into the walk way. You turn to give them a piece of your mind, already assuming they were doing it on purpose only to see it was some girl fast asleep.
You stare in bewilderment at the girl. She has horrendous eyebags and long blue hair swept into swirly pigtails. You’d never seen anyone in your life so unbothered to be so clearly asleep in a learning environment. You carry on, rolling your eyes, making your way to the exit once more.
You heard the stupid whispers all the way up until the door leading to the bustling streets of Sumeru. Some were just people gossiping. But you heard… you could tell when it was about you.
Finally, you made it out of that depressing place.
You walked the bustling streets in silence. When you first arrived in Sumeru, you adored the hum of the crowd. A gentle yet strong reminder that you weren’t alone anymore.
Nowadays it does nothing but piss you off. Now you could understand why you could always hear a pin drop in those Fatui strongholds.
You keep your head down out of habit. It wasn’t exactly like the entirety of Sumeru was against you… It was more of just the Akademiya. Still, you didn’t want any extra trouble.
It was hard not to miss the novelty of the bazaar as you sulked through the streets. You had hardly noticed how quickly your mood had soured after the incident. The cheerful wonder you had for what you had once considered “the outside world” had gone down the drain.
Unsurprisingly, being lost in deep thought while walking through one of the busiest parts of Sumeru didn’t quite constitute great results.
You grunted softly as you bumped into a stranger's back. As you back away in surprise you look up, up, up at the man you ran face first into. You stare for a while at the back of his head, he seems to have stopped, however has yet to… well, react.
“My apologies, sir. I seem to have been lost in thought…. I don’t mean any offense…” you say in a quiet voice, trying not to sound too meek.
Once the man hears your apology, the man turns around. He doesn’t appear to be too terribly upset, but definitely not pleased. You stare at him for a moment.
There’s something about him that deeply unsettles you. Maybe it was the soft blue of his hair like cotton candy that contradicted the overly disciplined aura he carried. Or maybe it was those deep ruby red of his eyes that looked like pools of that nauseatingly sweet cough syrup you take when your lungs feel like infected swamps.
You tilt your head slightly as you stare, squinting slightly. Why did he look so familiar?
The man’s eyes narrow onto you, his voice sharp, but not quite mean yet “Is there an issue?”. You shake your head, slowly giving up on piecing together where you’d seen him before. “No, sir. I don’t mean to stare, there’s just something about you that looks so… familiar…”.
He scoffs “Well I’ve certainly never seen you”. You raise an eyebrow, mildly frustrated by his demeaning tone. It wasn’t cruel, but you could tell just how much smarter he thought himself than other people.
“Well.” you begin. “I won’t take up any more of your time”. You brush off your clothes and mutter a final apology as you continue on past him.
A/N: HELLOOOOO! So I’m a new (kind of) writer! I’m sure you can tell lol. Anyways I used to write silly little fics when I was in middle school and I recently got back into fics again and decided I should give writing a shot. I’m hella rusty atm so bear with me for nowwww…. ALSO I’M SO SORRY ABOUT ANY FORMATTING WEIRDNESS, I’M NEW TO TUMBLRRRR! One last thing!! I’m also on Wattpad if you prefer reading there! Same user (divaofdivinations) and same fic name!!
lol so apparently getting interaction is farrrr easier on tumblr than it is on Wattpad…. Anywaysss so I’m gonna try to figure out how to make my tumblr posts cute and shi but in the meantime would yall read my dottore fic if I posted here?
I explained it in the Wattpad version but basically I used to write like stupid crackfics in 2020-2022 ish era and haven’t touched a single fan fic since
But I recently started reading fics again and it made me want to develop my writing skills more
Like my writing genuinely is totally trash rn but I miss the community yk?
The eight-year-old Segment was unlike any child you had ever met.
When you were in the Akademiya with Zandik, you had gathered bits and pieces from what he told you about his childhood to somewhat imagine what a little Zandik would look like. It was… difficult to envision, not because you couldn’t form a picture, but because the thought of him being hurt so deeply as a child hurt you too. But when you finally saw the slice of his child self in front of you, you quickly realized the reality was far more cruel than you could ever think of on your own.
His eyes were… empty. For someone so young, not even a glimmer of light could be seen within the redness. It would have comforted you more to see even anger or sadness, but there seemed to be nothing of the sort. And yet, it did not deter you from attempting to befriend him, despite Eight’s initial lack of interest.
He was the child, and yet you were the one wandering after him like a lost kid. The Segment would just stare at you before excusing himself. Perhaps he was confused about why you were speaking to him in such an excited tone. Perhaps he did not know how to deal with it. All he knew was that the others had told him to treat you respectfully but not to bother you, and Eighteen specifically gave him a look every time you tried to usher him closer.
But in the end, a child was a child. A child would think and behave like one no matter how much they buried themselves, and that was also true for little Eight. You had noticed Eight frequently spent his spare time writing and doodling in his notebook, although he would always shut it if you got too close, obviously still guarded around you. At least he had gotten comfortable enough to let you stay in his room. Still, it was easy to piece together what he was doing in there. So, one day you slipped him a drawing of an Aranara you had drawn yourself.
Eight recognized the creature immediately, and you witnessed more emotion than you had seen before, with his eyes widening and mouth parting. He closed his notebook shut and tentatively reached to brush his small fingers against the drawing, and you pushed it closer to him encouragingly.
“Have you ever seen one like this? You know, there are the round ones and-”
“The ones that are skinny with long hats.” Before you could finish your sentence, Eight interrupted you. It was like a switch had been turned on.
“And then there are some with flowers on their heads-”
“And the ones with leaves on top.” It looked like he really was an expert on Aranara facts.
“You know a lot, don’t you?” You beamed at him with interest, and suddenly the child felt a bit shy. It was rare anyone took interest in him or anything he liked, but at the same time, knowing a lot had once gotten him in trouble a long time ago.
“I didn’t expect you could… be so detailed,” Eight said, changing the topic as he brought your doodle close to his face, examining the detail as his nose almost brushed it, in true childlike wonder that he always kept hidden.
“Well, in the Akademiya, you’re usually asked to sketch out your observations like wildlife or architecture, even potential machines and inventions, so I know a bit.” He only continued gazing at the messy Aranara. “You can keep it, if you like.” Eight glanced at you, slowly nodding as he finally set the paper down. He looked a bit more relaxed now.
“Now… would you mind if I see your drawings?” You pressed the tips of your fingers together, brightening with hope. Eight already guessed you had been itching to ask him that for a while. At first, he would have rejected you, but now he felt a bit more… comfortable.
The child Segment didn’t need to answer, only opening his notebook to the first page and leaving it there for you. You clasped your hands together with a resonant ‘thank you’ as you pulled a chair to sit next to him at his desk.
“Some Aranara have hats of different shapes and colors. Some of their hats cover their faces. Others have leaves drooping down instead of hats,” you read aloud from the journal. Each description was accompanied by a drawing. “Some also have bowties or carry around weapons. They’ve also picked up habits from humans, such as cooking or living in houses.”
For someone who didn’t seem to feel much, Eight watched you intently as you examined his notes. Maybe he subconsciously looked for approval. At the very least, you looked to be absorbed in his words, allowing him to feel a bit proud of himself.
“This is some really good research. Thank you for trusting me with it,” you said softly, hand reaching out to hold his, until you stopped midway and drew back. Perhaps it was best not to push things so quickly. “Though… I do think some of these sketches could use some color.”
“I would,” the boy nodded in agreement, “but I don’t have anything to color them with.” A spark of sadness flickered in your heart, knowing that he was chained to the mindset of a child and was not even allowed to indulge in it.
“Well, why don’t I get us some colored pencils and we can fill them in together? Adding a bit of color is sure to add some life, hmm?”
And so a few days later, you were once again sitting near Eight with his notebook open. You had made sure to order the most high-quality coloring supplies for little Eight. Even he could not hold back his excitement, observing them up close one by one and picking out the ones he’d use for the Aranaras. In all honesty, he was more focused on coloring than you, and seemed very intent on making sure everything was accurate… But you didn’t mind. You only gave some pointers here and there and answered his questions on whether the color he chose was good or not.
“Thank you,” Eight said eventually. He couldn’t remember the last time he expressed gratitude for something, because the only thing other people ever did was hurt him.
“Anything for you, sweet one.” He didn’t respond to the pet name, and you quickly worried you had overstepped, before Eight nodded and went back to coloring.
Perhaps if he had just had someone who supported him when he was young and took interest in him, things could have turned out differently.
—
One day, you had called Eight to the kitchen, and he was immediately greeted with a delicious smell.
“Oh, you’re right on time!” You called for him and ushered him closer. He took in the mess of the kitchen before he noticed what was making his mouth water. A tray of baklava sat there, sliced and ready to be served.
“You all still like to eat, don’t you? I thought I’d make something for all of your hard work.” You were busy cleaning with your back turned. “I invited you to have the first bite. Help yourself.”
He and the other Segments would go to the Fatui’s cafeteria, and although it was nice, it didn’t really have food from Sumeru. They would never bring up their dissatisfaction, however. But now, one of his favorite treats from his homeland sat in front of him. The older Segments might have lingered around you some more, but him? The child couldn’t help but want to dig in as soon as possible.
“Thank you.” Those words were starting to become familiar to him again. Eight’s fingers pinched a piece of the dessert and took a small bite before immediately devouring the whole thing. It was probably the best thing he’d ever tasted. He glanced at you before taking another piece, and another…
“Do you like them?” You finished cleaning the area and washing the tools as you made your way to the table. “It’s been a while since I made any so-” You paused when you noticed at least a third of the tray was gone, and the child had stuffed cheeks.
Eight blinked at you. You blinked back. You were at a loss for words before you burst out laughing at the sight.
“Y-You don’t need to eat that fast, you know. I can always make some more.” You grabbed a tissue and began wiping around his mouth. You remembered Zandik being a fast eater back in the Akademiya, but you didn’t know he could gobble stuff down this quick. Eight stiffened as you tenderly wiped off the crumbs and fussed over him, and though it felt weird, it wasn’t weird enough for him to push you away.
“Hmm… I guess I’ll portion the rest for the others. We can give Eighteen the least for being a big meanie. Hehe, don’t tell the others, alright?” Your little accomplice nodded, chewing the dessert slower, not only savoring the flavor but… your kindness too.
Eight had started to open himself up to you, slowly but surely.
—
Little Eight had begun to seek you out on his own, cling to your side, to grab onto your sleeve and look up at you with expectant eyes. With that, the boy had become oddly observant of you.
“You don’t look well,” he pointed out.
“Hm? Oh. I’m… I’m fine. Just a bit tired but-” Before you could finish, Eight grasped your clothes and led you over to sit down. Of course, you couldn’t refuse him. “Really, I don’t-” Eight pressed his small hand against your forehead.
“Your face is warm, and you’re sweating a bit. You should stay here. I’ll get one of the others and the medical record.” It was almost jarring to see a kid assess the situation with such calmness. Perhaps he already had experience with this from Regrator, though. Or maybe he just had to grow up quicker than other children.
“But… you don’t need to do all this. I can take care of myself…” He should just be allowed to be a child, you wanted to say. He shouldn’t have to be in this dreary lab with experiments of this nature.
“I want to.” Eight was surprised those words left his lips as easily as they did. He had thought he had become numb to the suffering of others. He knew something was wrong with him for that. But when he looked at you, it made him upset that you were in pain.
“… You’re very sweet. Thank you.” The others had told you that the child Segment had already lost his compassion, but every day, you learned that clearly wasn’t true.
—
The eight-year-old carried around his notebook like it was a lifeline, clutching it to his chest. If he had to put it down, he’d always make sure it was within his line of sight. You knew that his notes were important to him, but you couldn’t help but feel that there was something else to this behavior.
You found out the answer one day, when you were in Eight’s room. He was searching for his notebook in front of you when he opened his drawer to reveal a few copies of the same black notebook, before grabbing one of them.
All of the notebooks looked the same, so you had no idea he had multiple. But it didn’t strike you as unusual at first. You just assumed he had filled up that many notebooks with his ideas, and naturally, you wanted to see.
“Do you mind if I read these?” You pawed at the covers.
“You can, if you want. But you probably already read most of them.” That made you pause.
“What do you mean?”
“Those notebooks all contain the same content. I just wrote most of the important stuff in all of them.” So… he was making duplicates of the same thing?
“But why?”
“Sometimes I misplace them. And then sometimes one of the others throws it out.”
“Throw… throw them out?” You repeated, as if you were in disbelief, but Eight seemed to be unaffected.
“It’s mostly Eighteen that does that. But I don’t want to lose my ideas, so I just write them down in multiple places just in case.” Your jaw was left slack as Eight calmly flipped through his current notebook.
“A-And what does he say?”
“That it’s childish. Or a waste of time. Things like that.” He didn’t think about it when you didn’t respond, but before he knew it, you were up and pacing around the room. “What’s wrong?”
“He can’t do that to you!” You had never spoken to him this loudly, which took him off guard, and you recognized that and took a deep breath. “That… is just wrong. I will not let him do it again. I’m- I’m going to speak to him right now!” Eight realized that this was the first time he saw you truly frustrated, and it was on his behalf, too. You almost burst out the door before he called for you.
“Wait,” the child requested. Never one to ignore Eight, you listened. “You don’t need to do that.”
“Yes, I do. If I’m here, no one is doing that to you. Why, I might as well go and throw out his property and see how he likes it!” Eight felt a bit of warmth prick his face at your outspokenness. But he really didn’t want to start a fight with Eighteen, which would probably escalate to the others, with Thirty-Five telling them not to hinder his work, Forty-Five laughing, Sixty-Five being tired, and the original Zandik… what would he do?
“I’d prefer it if you stayed with me.” You opened your mouth and closed it again, expression softening.
“Well then… I guess me and Forty-Five will do something to get back at him in secret instead then.” You couldn’t help but give in to Eight, especially when he was learning to be so genuine with you. You sat on the edge of the bed with him and rubbed your hand on his back. However, you still looked troubled.
You thought back to the days you spent with the original Zandik back at the Akademiya. Eighteen was the only Segment you had a concrete understanding of, considering he was a replica of the one you knew so deeply when you were young. You had seen his bitterness firsthand, the desire for himself and his ideas to be acknowledged, only for it to never happen, sending him deeper into his resentment for the world. He would grip you, stubborn tears rolling down his face that he silently asked you to ignore. Perhaps if you had remained in the waking world, you could have done something, but…
“You know, um, Eight,” you began, and the Segment gave you his attention. “About Eighteen… I wouldn’t say he hates you. He just…” The child’s eyes bore into you as he watched you fumble for words. “I guess… He might be a little jealous of you.” That seemed to surprise the little boy.
“I don’t understand. There is nothing I have that he doesn’t.” Eight furrowed his brows, carefully thinking, and a part of you was flattered he was taking your opinion so seriously. “Eighteen has his own lab, office, equipment, proposals, funding, experiments… I don’t really have any of that.” Well, there had been proposals he had been drafting for Pantalone, some with your assistance, but he had yet to present any of them… Most of his duties included assisting the others with their tasks instead.
“Well, all of that is true but… Eighteen doesn’t have your mind.” Perhaps deep down, Eighteen wished he too could be a bit “childish.” Although Eight had clearly gone through something rough, he managed to retain something Eighteen could not. Could Eighteen ever find something and pursue it with pure wonder and excitement as a child could? He couldn’t. Instead, the older Segment was only trapped within the harsh reality of this world’s cruel rules and laws. But how could you explain that to a little boy?
“By which I mean, he doesn’t have the proper mind to appreciate your dear Aranara. And it’s a shame, because he wants to, but… can’t.” You tried to word it as best you could. “Of course, what he did is still wrong, but…” You trailed off, really not knowing what to say, but Eight only leaned into your embrace. He could understand that this was your attempt to make him feel better. Honestly, you had already done more than you knew, because Eighteen always seemed to be in a far better mood whenever you were around. And whether he liked it or not, the older Segment still stayed with him for a lot of things.
The original Zandik, the one who was fascinated with you more than any sort of research, had once told him that your warmth could fill an entire room. Obviously, that didn’t make sense in the literal way, so it was metaphorical. But only now did Eight understand what the older man had meant by that. Actually, now he understood why all the other Segments trailed after you, looking for attention.
You were truly a warm person.
His eyes flickered from you to the floor, and back to you again, as if he was making an important choice. Within the span of a few moments, the tiny Segment turned to fully embrace you, arms wrapping around your body, making you softly gasp. Without hesitation, you gently reciprocated and held his smaller body. Eight always did like when you patted the top of his head.
The child really liked you a lot. Maybe you could convince the others to let him take a trip to Sumeru? Or at least get one of his proposals approved? But for some reason, those things didn’t seem as much of a priority now, when compared to spending time with you.
