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Kiss
The funny thing about Kiss is that they are a one-hit-wonder in Germany and this hit is “I Was Made For Lovin’ You”. So it is no surprise that Dynasty’s successors “Unmasked” and “Music From The Elder” were rather successful there. But, as we all know, success and quality do not always go hand in hand. If only Kiss had kept their hands away from the heavy door of “The Elder” - it was a trap.
Mike Oldfield
Mike Oldfield and Jon Anderson from Yes worked together on Crises and they seem to have found a way how to survive as a prog rock veteran in the 80s time of crisis. Nobody wanted to listen to twenty minutes of musical exploration anymore. Mike Oldfield tried to feed his listeners on the old stuff but he also added some lightweight sugary bits, which catapulted him into the charts.
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Bruce Springsteen
He is so abominably immaculate in his sweat stained shirt, so clever, so smart, so ... boss.
Nobody else could have done it more perfectly. Scent, stalk and strike! He trapped the trap in glory days.
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J.Geils Band
Hard working they were. Down to earth and always on the road. No - they were no stars, just ordinary guys like you and me. Wouldn’t it be nice to taste a little bit of stardom? To be the centerfold? To get lots of clicks (that meant something different in the 80s)? Why not! You may lose some friends, but you will find lots of new followers. So they did and they were flying high for a short while until the captain left the craft.
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Elton John
Everybody knows that the Yellow Brick Road leads to the fulfillment of every single one’s dream. Talking about sex, it took Elton John far into the eighties until he reached his goal and kissed the bridegroom he was not allowed to marry until 2005. The eighties did not start badly for Elton John and in 1984 he was still standing, but four years later he was standing still, falling apart in leather jackets in pastels.
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Cheap Trick
Cheap Trick always showed that they had two sides: In Color or in Black and White, pretty boys or nerds, the front or the back cover. Ain’t that a shame how they surrendered to the junk that was going round in the 80s until the flame showed them the way back to the top.
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Chicago
Chicago did not get trapped in the 80s. They used balladry to get out of the disco-trap, which had taken away the biggest part and the very heart of their jazzy grandeur. Here Chicago proved to be superior to Detroit, where Stevie Wonder’s ballads were pure kitsch.
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Nazareth
The 80s hurt, they scarred, they wounded and marred, any band not tough or strong enough, to take a lot of pain ....
The great bands of the golden age of classic rock who sinned an synthed in the 80s have overcome this bleak neon age almost unscathed and still stand tall in the hall of fame. They followed the fashion but returned to what had earned them this status. The not-so-great bands have not. If they still perform, it is pure nostalgia and just a bunch of pitiful elderly men who are too old to rock ‘n’ roll but too young to die.
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Journey
They would never blame the 80s for anything. They were at the right place at the right time with exactly the right sound to fill stadiums and their bank accounts. The departure from the phenomenal escape to frontiers seemed logical but somehow the balance was lost, the scales tipped too much in the direction of staleness and the album was by far more successful than it deserved, faithfully ... even though Separate Ways has one of the most majestic choruses ever!
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Billy Joel
Modern architecture, modern art, modern design. Form follows function and every baroque ornament is taboo. Actually, every time is as modern as can be for there is never anything more up-to-date than the time being. In the 70s progressive was the term of choice and in the 80s, when the computer became the embodiment of modernism, everything had to be modern, just take a look at all those song titles containing the word ‘modern’.
Presumably in order to show how modern he was, Billy Joel included the really modern song ‘Modern Woman’ in an album which had a really modern cover. But as Charlie Chaplin had already hinted in the 30s, modern does not always have to be worthwhile.
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Alice Cooper
Alice Cooper never bit off a bat’s head, he did not even kill a chicken on stage. In the middle of the 80s he faced some bad times, so when the snake of his own killer past came and lured him into biting the apple of commercial success, he could not resist the temptation. He was back, the man behind the mask, and the venomous poison did not get him under the wheels.
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Status Quo
The self-crowned kings of boogie rock ruled over a realm which was as limited as three chords could circumscribe. However, they ruled .. with a trademark sound, recognizable after not later than (you guessed it) three chords.
After ten years of exploiting this formula and ten years before they were ready to go on as a parody of themselves, they tried something different, more different from their own boogie sound than from whatever the mainstream wanted. Now they were in the army of the plain.
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Blue Öyster Cult
They should have feared the reaper! But unfortunately the reaper did not come and get them when they decided to start shooting shark. A greater threat to mankind than Godzilla ever was.
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Judas Priest
How could they? Did they really do it? I could not believe it. And why did they all sing about heartbeat after they had ripped the heart and soul out of the music and replaced it with a machine. Judas Priest, who had raised heavy rock to previously unknown heights and had led it into the mainstream, drowned their own credibility in its waves and were left out in the cold.
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Blackfoot
Music is in many respects a matter of taste. There were enough people who liked the sound of the 80s, who welcomed some unexpected guests in their world. But ... there are limits to taste and the cover of vertical smiles is as tasteless as its title. Not talking about the music.
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Triumph
A synthesizer is not a rock ‘n‘ roll machine but the 80s were like a big washing machine and everybody used some fabric softener with the same scent, the flavor of the decade. It was not just a game, it was killing time and Triumph were strangers in a strange land.
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Golden Earring
The 80s were a hard time for the top groups of the 60s and 70s, who saw their fanbases diminish and became aware that it was difficult to find new devotees. It was even harder for those who, like Golden Earring, never managed to make an impact on the American market. In the 70s they came close to fame and fortune there with Radar Love but were unable to repeat this success.
In the 80s they once more analyzed and researched the US market, updated the formula and, like the bullet hits the bone, they stepped into the twilight zone of almost-success for a second time.
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