honestly i love writing about steve’s scars (physical and mental 😭), i love adding in that he has them, and the actual effects and impact they have on him because the duffers decided to abandon yet another characters plot and trauma
cuz he’s gotten a concussion at least twice, he was literally tortured (until he was unconscious) in s3, got his ass beat twice by jonathan and billy (again until he was unconscious) within a year, and got fucking strangled and chunks taken out of him by demobats???? but nahhhh he’s aight he just cant find a long lasting relationship
at this point fuck it sex might be a form of self harm to him might just write about that
Summary: Your little weekend with Fred comes to an end and once again, you have that weird pit in your stomach.
wc: 2.0k
tags: reader is so emotionally frustrated, reader is so sensitive but will not admit it
a/n: big thank you to everyone for being patient with me! btw i am still in the process of fixing the links so bear w me </3
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Fred dipped the edge of his cut piece of toast into his tea. His eyes were still a bit puffy from sleep, his hair was tucked behind his ears yet pieces stuck out and into the air, hunched over his mug, not quite fully awake yet.
In Fred's words, you had woken him up "ridiculously early”. It was considered early to Fred due to it being the weekend. He would’ve slept in until noon if you hadn’t gotten him up. His incessant snoring woke you up first anyways.
It took a minute for him to realize you were staring at him from the other side of the table, you tapped your nails against your mug. There was a small amused smile on your face, barely noticeable. But not to Fred, you smiling happened more often now. Even then when your smiles were a rare occurrence, Fred would always spot them.
“What? Are there crumbs on my face?” He sat up a bit straighter, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“You look adorable with your hair tucked behind your ears.” You stated, sipping from the dark red cup in your hands. Fred's eyes narrowed for a minute, then he just let out a small hum and took another bite of his toast.
“What? No comebacks?” You dropped your head to the side.
“That sounded like a compliment, I’ll take what I can get.” Fred frowned. You repeated his earlier action by narrowing your eyes and letting out a hum in response.
Getting back to the castle was simple. You changed back into your clothes from Friday night—which Fred went through the effort of so kindly washing the smell of booze and mascara stains off of them, then hopped in the Weasleys flying Ford Anglia.
The ride back to the castle was quiet, Fred fumbled with the knob of the car radio trying to find a station with decent music.
Being in a flying car was much more nerve wracking than being on a broom. You only broke the silence once during the entire ride.
“I had fun this weekend. It was nice. Spending it with you.”
“Yeah, yeah it was. I had fun too.” Fred nodded with a soft smile, glancing at you once. That was the only time you two talked during the car ride back.
The air between you was still thick, not as much as it used to be. Not with anger, or tension, you weren’t sure what. But there was something there, almost like some type of fog leaving thoughts unsaid in the air.
For some reason, you felt disappointed that your time with Fred was over for now. It left a weird gloomy feeling, the thought of having to go back to your regular schedule and continue on. You just wished you could get at least one more day outside of the castle with him.
Fred landed the car in a grassy spot behind the Quidditch pitch. Fred began the walk back to the castle after closing his door. You followed but looked back at the car, then back to him.
“Wait, how are you going to get the car back to the burrow? You’re not just going to leave it there?” You trotted up to him, long pieces of grass and weeds hitting your legs.
“It’ll find its way back.” He waved a dismissive hand, looking over his shoulder. The teal car was already backing up, turning, and driving off into the forest.
During breakfast, Fred snuck the both of you back in through a secret passage you had no idea existed, apparently there were several of them.
Like in the car, it was quiet as you returned into the castle, it was quiet as you went up the stairs and walked through the halls side by side, it was quiet once you entered the common rooms, it was quiet. The common room was empty, everyone was most likely eating breakfast in the Great hall.
Fred tried to clear his throat quietly before speaking, he stopped in front of the entrance to the boys dorms.
“Hey, uh, summer’s nearly here, and I just wanted to let you know that you could always come over, only if you’d want to. You can hang out, have dinner, help get rid of gnomes in the garden? It’s therapeutic, honestly.” He seemed flustered with the way he spoke at a quicker pace and stammered a small bit, it was sort of cute.
“I’m just saying, you’re welcome any time. You and your parents.” He finished, another small clearing of his throat.
You couldn’t stop the little knowing smile that slowly crept onto your face.
“I know, Fred. I’ll let you know if I’m thinking of coming over.”
You didn’t bother to stop the smile.
Fred nodded as a response, you flashed another smile at him before going up to the girls' dorms.
You did a quick change of clothes once you got to your bed, switching out the party clothes from Friday night and snuggling yourself into some comfortable shorts and a shirt.
You let out a soft breath, maybe a sigh, as you dropped your body down onto your bed.
It was strange. You’d already began to miss the feeling of Fred’s bed rather than your own. You missed the feeling of being in the same bed as him. It wasn’t too bad, like you used to believe it’d be.
Maybe you’d take up his offer for the summer.
—---------
Fred and you got along just fine. Now you didn’t have conversations with him every single day, or stick next to him constantly. Yes, he still annoyed you at moments, but you had a pretty mutual bond.
He was tolerable, he was almost…comforting to be around.
You’d passed all your exams just the way you were hoping to. Surprisingly, you asked Fred how his results looked, he gave you a bit of a solemn face. You actually felt bad for a moment, assuming he must’ve done poorly. He waited until your smile faltered into a frown.
A large cheeky smile slowly crept onto his face.
“All O’s. All outstandings.” You let out a breathy laugh, covering up your breath of relief. You smiled and shook your head. Even though you didn’t get an O on every single test, Fred still showed his proudness of you.
“Brilliant girl!” He cheered, shaking you by your shoulders. You ruffled his hair and pushed his head away in return.
After going through the hell of tests and exams, everything was calm.
At the leaving feast, Dumbledore spoke about what happened at the triwizard tournament, he spoke about Cedric.
It’d been so long since you’ve heard his name. It felt alien.
Sure, people still brought him up in conversations. But only in an undetailed way. Slipping in small mentions of “that poor Diggory boy”, you never really heard his first name be said around school.
That same night, you laid in your bed that night unable to sleep. Your mind was jumping from thought to thought.
The year was almost over, and so much hurt has happened.
You weren’t sure why all of this was hitting you at once. You were never sure what your problem was.
A tear trailed over the side of your face. You really needed some sort of comfort. You really wanted a hug.
And terribly enough, you wanted Fred.
You hated how one small occurrence drug you into a spiral like this one.
Leading your mind back to Fred. It always led back to Fred.
You didn’t understand how he could just continue on. Acting like nothing happened.
You called him adorable. To his face. With no malice or mockery behind it.
You laid down in the grass with him in silence and not once in that moment did you feel uncomfortable.
Did he remember those moments every time your eyes met or was it just you?
Was it affecting him this way too? Did he ever lay wide awake at night because you were stuck in his thoughts? Had he been picturing you the way you’d been picturing him?
And what the hell was your problem?
It was terrifying sneaking into the boys dorm. Fred’s bed was on your right side, but you had to pass by two other boys' beds.
Though the room was full of loud snoring, you were still terrified that one step on the wrong plank of wood would get you caught.
“Fred, Fred, Fred.” You whispered, shoving his shoulder.
He shifted over, disgruntled and sleepy eyed. It took one more slight push of his shoulder to get him somewhat awake,
He scrunched up his face, eyes closing and opening repeatedly in a slow pattern before slurring out your name.
“Hey, what are- you can’t be in here.” He whispered groggily, his face scrunched up as he tried to see you in the dark
“I need y- you need to tell me how you feel about me. Or I'm going to go insane.”
He scrunched his eyes closed one more time before sitting himself up by leaning on his elbows. Pieces of hair sticking up in strands.
He stared.
“Please.” There was the smallest, tiniest, crack in your voice. Your lip shook, eyes a bit glossy, this was embarrassing.
Fred got up, still a bit disoriented as he mumbled a “Hold on”, and went down to the common room with you. Rubbing his eyes as he tried to wake himself up.
You stood awkwardly, nervously, in the common room. Your fingers fidgeting at your sides.
Fred yawned, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. He stretched, making his shirt slightly rise and reveal the skin of his lower stomach, you stared for too long at it.
“Why- what’s going on?” He asked, still slightly squinty eyed from sleep.
“You won’t leave my head. I don’t know what it is but there’s something about you that I’m stuck thinking about and it’s killing me.” You squeezed your eyes shut, embarrassed at your own words.
“I don’t mean to be harsh but,” Fred says through another yawn, “you brought me down here just to tell me that?”
He pissed you off, he pissed you off so much.
"No! I just-" You cut yourself off with a silent curse, pushing your palms into your eyes.
“I need you to tell me how you feel about me. Be brutally honest, tell me the negative things. Be harsh. I need it.” You ignored the question, your hands squeezing into fists, you couldn’t figure out what to do with them.
Fred just…stared. He stared at you with the tiniest bit of…well, you couldn’t really tell what emotion it was. Regret? Disappointment? Annoyance?
Hesitancy.
“Well, you’re very stubborn, and you do scare me sometimes. You confuse me quite a lot, but you seem to confuse yourself too. You’re very short tempered. Maybe a bit emotional. You seem to be a bit impulsive, self…destructive.” He sucked in a breath through his teeth as he was preparing for the worst from you. Fred didn’t like to be mean. At least not on purpose.
He paused and waited for a response. Once he realized that you would not say anything, he took another deep breath and continued.
“And…yes, you’ve been mean. You’ve said some shitty things to me. But I truly don’t hold a grudge against you for any of it. I have no resentment towards you for anything, I know I had my moments where it seemed like I did. But, I was just confused, a little upset then. I’m not anymore. I don’t have any ill will towards you.”
You took in a shaky breath. Your hands fumbling at your sides, fingers encasing your thumbs.
He waited, he waited as he did when you sobbed in his arms on the astronomy tower.
He waited as he did when he drove you home from the party, when he talked to you on the stairs, when he let you sleep in his bed.
He waited.
He waited like he always fucking does.
Squeezing your eyes shut and shaking your head, hoping if you did that long enough you'd be shaking out whatever worries were still stuck.
“Okay, Okay. Thank you, Fred.” You swallowed and nodded. "Goodnight."
You turned around and went right back up to your dorm. Not another word. You left him standing more confused than he was when you woke him up.
Your head hit the pillow with a sigh. Maybe you felt a little less tense.
Maybe this would make things easier now.
Maybe there wouldn’t be that weight on your chest every time you thought of Fred.
Maybe.
tell me what you thought here! <3 or ask tba to the taglist for this series!
girl i binge-read anyone but you for the first time. hello???? it’s so good ???? i’m obsessed ???? i hope ur computer gets fixed soon that’s actually heinous </3
TYSM BABY!!!!! i got my computer back finally the other day 😭 hopefully now i'll be able to get a bit more writing in cuz i really do miss writing about sweet freddie and avoidant ass reader
*extremely loud, heavy sigh* damn.. i really wiiishhh i could get a new part of anyone but youuuuu... i reaaaalllyyy wiiishhh a new part could come outuuhhh...
ohhhh jane u read my mind....i was just thinking about that series the other day 👀 the joe keery brainrot has taken over but fear not!!!! fred will get his love too (eventually), i got a new part coming soon i promise bb
just realized i posted this on april fools. i promise this was not a prank, i fr have been thinking of my two frustrating slowburn babes..they will return
