Best By - #MonsterMash2019
This is my entry for Monster Mash 2019, which can be found here. It’s a short horror story about expired ramen noodles, and is 724 words long.
BEST BY
It’s 11:30 on Friday night, and Erika wanted junk food. She went into the kitchen, opened the cupboard, and moved cans and boxes around.
She turned on her phone light and peered into the depths, where she spotted a dusty pack of instant ramen. Erika mindlessly filled a pot with water and turned on the burner while browsing Instagram. When she heard the water boiling, she opened the wrapper, took out the flavor packet, and dropped the squares of dry noodles into the water with a messy, sizzling splash.
“Ow. Damn it,” she cursed under her breath, wiping the droplets of hot water on her forearm. She walked over to the cabinet and took out a bowl, set it on the kitchen island, tore open the chicken flavor packet, and dumped it in the bowl.
After what felt like long enough, Erika turned off the burner and poured the hot noodles into the bowl. She opened a drawer, stuck a fork in her mouth, and carried the hot bowl of noodles to the computer.
An episode of Nailed It! started up with a stroke of the spacebar as Erika sat down at the desk. She stirred the noodles, mixing the powder into a salty broth, twirled the fork in the steaming bowl and lifted a hefty amount of noodles. As she blew on the big bite of ramen, she stared at her food for the first time, and noticed the noodles were bumpier than usual.
Erika shoved the massive bite of noodles in her mouth, slurped more until they were too hot to eat, and bit at the rest until they dropped in the bowl. As she chewed the al dente ramen, she spun around in her chair, opened the mini fridge, and grabbed a can of Dr. Pepper.
She swallowed the noodles with a swig of soda to cool her throat as Nicole Byer introduced the Nailed It! competitors onscreen.
When she had eaten about half of the ramen, Erika laughed at something in the show and choked. She pulled at the noodles, but they wouldn’t come free from her throat. She started to panic.
Erika rushed over to the kitchen island and tried performing the Heimlich on herself, but the noodles wouldn’t budge. She staggered to the knife block and pulled the first one she found, then cut away at the noodles over the sink.
What little she could breathe came in short, terrified gasps, and Erika attempted to force herself to vomit, to no avail. As the noodles fell into the sink, Erika realized something: they were moving. Her nausea doubled and she retched, but the noodles in her mouth and throat clenched into every surface they were in contact with.
Erika dropped the knife and fell to the floor as immense pressure flooded her nose and tear ducts. Suddenly, wriggling ramen noodles burst from her nose and eyes, slithering along the contours of her face. She pulled her phone from her back pocket and attempted to dial 911, but her vision was obscured by tears and the horrifying sensation of the alien noodles squirming inside her head.
Erika crawled along the floor and reached the computer desk. In a final act of desperation, she lifted the can of soda to her mouth and poured it down her throat. The noodles shrieked and she felt their grip on her loosen. She reached deep into her mouth and pulled.
Blinding agony shot through Erika as she ripped the alien noodles out of her head. She could feel hundreds of tiny suction cups release their grip on her, and threw the bloody noodles on the floor. She gasped loudly as orange tears ran down her cheeks.
The writhing, singed noodles were trying to get away, but Erika grabbed a large pot and threw them inside. She rushed to the computer desk and retrieved her bowl, then dumped the wriggling noodles into the pot. She grabbed a lid, placed it onto the stove and cranked up the heat, then ran over to the mini fridge and grabbed the two remaining cans of Dr. Pepper.
Erika dumped every drop of soda into the pot and watched the squirming ramen dissolve into a sweet puddle. She grabbed the wrapper from the stove and read the expiration date.
Best by 03/24/01.
She never ate expired ramen again.
Thank you for reading!