it ain’t me babe - prologue frat!toru x avoidant!reader
warning - [mdni] sexual themes
series masterlist | one
☀︎
satoru gojo never believed in fate.
he believed in charm, in momentum, in the kind of magnetism that made crowds part and doors open without him trying.
fate was for people who needed excuses.
the frat president was halfway through a jello shot, tongue painted green, shirtless and laughing as two girls danced against him, their body glitter now dusting his abs and collarbones.
the party was loud enough to swallow any thought he had and that’s exactly how he liked it.
“great party, man!” satoru looked up as his eyes met this random guy from his marketing class, simply offering a thumbs up.
to be completely honest, his vision was growing a bit blurry at that point and he knew he had to cool off for a moment. after all, he had at least six more hours of parting left in him. it was the first party of the year, he simply had to be the last to stop the chaos.
“give me a few, ladies, will ya?” the lazy slur of his deep voice, the captivating blue of his eyes that could be seen even with the stupid neon glasses on his face, had the girls swooning for a second as they giggled and nodded, “go show my friend there some love, yeah?”
the two girls looked to where he’d been pointing at to see choso leaning against the couch, blunt in hand as he stared lazily ahead. he would absolutely kill him for this.
nonetheless, the girls giggled and made their way towards the high frat boy because saying no to satoru gojo was unheard of.
and it wasn’t because there were any consequences, but because he made it absolutely impossible.
it was in his stark white locks, his steely eyes and the way he was so tall and packed with lean muscle.
no one could say no to him. and they couldn’t be blamed for it.
still laughing under his breath, he made his way through the crowd, greeting and dapping up everyone who greeted him like a king, who parted for him like his mere presence demanded it.
he stopped at the drinks table, humming off-key as he began haphazardly pouring water into a cup, gaze still slightly blurry.
“cmon, gorgeous,” he heard a deep voice say from beside him, “what can i do to convince you?”
he almost wanted to chuckle at the words he was hearing, clearly some pathetic guy begging for attention from a girl. foreign territory for satoru.
he shook his head gently as he put the red solo cup full of water and ice to his lips, hoping it would sober him up just enough to take another shot. a nonsensical concept, really, but it works.
“you could try silence.”
gojo choked on the sip of water as a laugh bubbled up his throat at the worst possible time.
he coughed into his elbow as his gaze looked down at the blonde man beside him, a good half a foot shorter than him as he chuckled.
“bro, i’d stop if i were y-”
the amusement in satoru’s tone, the slight cockiness and light-heartedness died instantly as he looked past the man. whatever mirth that was dancing in satoru’s blue gaze died. now turning to fascination and enthrallment.
there were no existing words that could explain what had happened to satoru gojo the moment his eyes had laid on you.
you, who stood there in your little black skirt and tight long-sleeved matching top. you, who’s face was so unbelievably pretty, he momentarily wondered if your were a projection of his drunken mind. you, who had a look on your face that made boredom too nice of a word. you, with your pouty glossy lips and your near-dead doe eyes, looking as if you had a million and one better things to do than be at this party.
you, who made satoru’s entire being falter.
he had never seen you before in his entire time at this university. and yet, somewhere deep in his chest, something settled.
not excitement, not even lust. something heavier and more permanent.
it felt like the world had tilted, just slightly, so that everything now leaned towards you.
like every loud laugh, every careless touch, every girl he’d ever kissed or fucked had been rehearsal.
like the universe had been killing time until you arrived.
satoru gojo looked like an absolute idiot, body glitter and neon glasses, eyes hazy when he pulled up the glasses to push his white locks back, just so he could get a better look at you.
his mouth was parted and his breaths had faltered as you ignored him completely, pretty eyes still looking forward before speaking to that had been pestering you once again.
“you could also try leaving. i’d suggest that.”
your words were flat and clinical, monotone in a way that made satoru immediately understand why the blonde was so desperate for you.
it was a sick sort of attraction. you were so unbelievably attractive and the fact that you constantly looked like you’d rather stab a fork into your eye than talk to a man painted this appeal that was irresistible.
satoru blinked then. once. twice.
the blonde scoffed, jaw clenching as his patience finally snapped.
“you know what?” he muttered, lips curling as he straightened up, eyes dragging over you one last time, “you’re-“
“hot but an insufferable bitch.” your words were practically emotionless as you turned to the guy for the first time that night, eyes racking over him from his shoes up to his eyes, your own so full of judgement and something akin to disgust, “the first accurate thought you’ve had.”
satoru couldn’t believe the way you held yourself, so sure and so uncaring, it had something in him lurch forward, banging on his chest to get approval from you. he’d never felt that need before.
the blonde had stared at you for a beat before letting out a scoff, the tips of his ears painted near red in embarrassment as he walked off into the crowd, finally leaving you alone.
well, not alone.
satoru still stood there, staring. he hadn’t meant to, nor had he planned to but something in him refused to look away, like his entire being begged to memorize your every feature.
like his body knew something his mind didn't.
he watched as you reached for a cup, pouring some water inside with steady hands.
unbothered and unimpressed. as if you hadn’t just practically dismantled a man with four sentences and no change in tone.
“wow…” satoru finally spoke up, mind still hazy but significantly sobering up and it had nothing to do with the water in his hand and everything to do with you.
he watched as you paused, your pretty hair flowing as your pretty wide eyes flickered to him, slowly, listlessly. fuck, you really were gorgeous.
your lashes framed your pretty eyes and your lips were so plush, it hurt to look at you.
as your eyes fell upon him, he smiled instinctively. bright and open, a little stupid.
“that was…” he gestured vaguely where the guy had disappeared, “beautiful. terrifying but beautiful. and deeply educational.”
your brows knit immediately, “you’re loud.”
he laughed instantly, delighted and loud.
fuck, your voice. your voice was everything. soft and low, but deep in a way that snuck it’s way into his ribs and grasped his heart with no preservation.
“yeah, i get that a lot.” he grinned gently, ignoring the way his heart was beating faster than usual and his hands were…clammy? what the hell did he drink?
you turned away from him, eyes forward once more, expression uninterested.
dismissal. you just dismissed him.
and for some reason, satoru didn’t feel insulted by it.
he leaned one elbow against the table, keeping a careful distance like approaching a cat that might claw him for sport.
“so,” he tried, a grin still painting his pink lips but tone a bit lower now, “does that always work? or was he just particularly fragile?”
“men usually are.” you didn’t miss a beat, lifting your cup to your lips, “they confuse persistence with personality.”
his grin widened even more. god, he was absolutely gone.
“hmm,” he hummed, reverent this time, “you talk like you’ve already decide you hate everyone.”
you took a sip, eyes blinking slow, “i haven’t decided,” you corrected him, “they just keep confirming it.”
he couldn’t help the laugh that left his lips, genuine and real as his eyes assessed you like you were some being that fell from the sky. you couldn’t be real.
“okay,” he stated, holding his hands up a bit, “i feel like i should warn you, my friends say i can be pretty annoying.”
your gaze slid back to him, flat.
“your friends are right.”
his chest did something painful and erratic. because your gaze finally met his own, not his hair or his chin, but straight into his eyes. and he couldn’t take it.
your big eyes and slow blinks, lashes tickling your perfectly shaped brows and pretty lips in, what seemed to be, a permanent flat line.
“nice,” he breathed out like he’d just ran a mile, “good to know i’m consistent.”
you studied him again, more thoroughly this time. you didn’t look away like you usually did.
your head tilted just the slightest bit as you assessed the glitter smeared across the skin of his torso, the neon glasses, the tinge of green on his tongue, the easy smile that looked like it had never been punished by the world.
your mouth tilted, not quite a smile, but more like an acknowledgment of a nuisance.
“are you waiting for something?” you questioned bluntly, practically yelling get away from me if satoru had any ability to read social cues.
“yeah…” he breathed out like a sigh, dreamily as his eyes wouldn’t leave you.
you waited and he didn’t fill the silence. that surprised you.
finally, he shrugged, “for you to tell me to leave.”
you exhaled through your nose, bleeding irritation at this point.
not only did your friends leave you in favor of making out with two guys (which you didn’t blame them for. it was a frat party, after all) but now, a man with freakishly blue eyes and striking white hair wouldn’t take a hint and leave you alone.
“i don’t tell people what to do.”
“mmm, i somehow really doubt that,” he took a step close, eyes dancing with amusement, “but if you say so! good. i’ll stay.”
your eyes narrowed at him and that was the most emotion you’d given him and god, you shouldn’t have. because even when it was irritation, annoyance, anger even, he wanted more.
he wanted you to give him face, he wanted to drag some feeling out of you, he wanted to be the one person who could give you life.
“that wasn’t permission to stay.”
“didn’t say it was.” he replied, still grinning stupidly.
you stared at him longer this time. not annoyed but calculating.
your eyes looked him up and down, eyes so sharp, he almost squirmed under your gaze.
“shouldn’t you be off taking body shots.” it was more of a statement than a question, a clear push for him to simply go away.
satoru merely shrugged, stepping slightly closer.
“probably,” he nodded easily, “but i’m a bit preoccupied right now.”
he didn’t hide the way his eyes lingered on your lips or the way his breath hitched whenever your gaze met his head-on.
“by all means…” your eyes left his and gazed at the crowd lazily, your version of pointing a finger, “don’t let me stop you.”
he almost wanted to laugh because genuinely, you were funny and you weren’t trying to be either.
god, you were so fucking mesmerizing. he’d never met anyone like you. but of course he didn’t because something in his mind told him there was only one you and you were meant for him.
oh god, he’s going crazy.
“nah, i think i’ll stay right here.”
there was a knit in your brow that wasn’t there a moment ago and he felt giddy.
the feeling of getting under your skin shouldn’t have been equivalent to the feeling of winning a game.
but it was. it was nothing short of adrenaline, satisfaction and fulfillment.
“you’ll miss the party.” your words, though monotone, was the equivalent of dangling a slab of meat in front of a rabid dog. like you were ushering him away.
“some things are worth ditching a great party over…” he muttered under his breath, almost in a trance as he watched you. you heard him loud and clear.
your eyes flickered over him once more, slow and unimpressed.
“and you decided that already?”
he tilted his head, pretending to think, though the answer had been instantaneous, violent and irrevocable.
“the second you told that guy to fuck off in your little ice queen way,” your narrowed your eyes once more and his heart soared, “kinda ruined everyone else for me.”
your expression didn’t change. not a muscle.
“that sounds like a you problem,” you stated, tone flat and monotonous as satoru laughed softly in both disbelief and something just a bit deeper.
“oh, believe me, i know.”
you turned back to the party, reaching for a the water without offering him a pour.
dismissal. again.
he watched the line of your throat as you swallowed, the way you didn’t seem to care, not for him or for anyone else that might be watching.
his eyes travelled over every bit of you, taking this chance of you looking away to fully take you in, as if he hadn’t been for the last ten minutes.
something in his chest ached and he couldn’t explain it.
fuck, there was no doubt he wanted you.
but it felt different. because satoru wanted a lot of girls, practically a new one every night!
but the feeling wasn’t the same because though his blood travelled south at the mere sight of your lips wrapping around the straw of your drink, his heart also reacted and much more strongly.
he felt…nervous? is that what it was? he wasn’t sure.
he was satoru gojo, goddamit. he walked into a lecture room in his boxers when he’d lost a dare to geto and he did it proudly, even cocky. he went skinny dipping with four girls at a lake trip and didn’t bat an eye.
you barely even glanced at him and his tongue went dry.
“so…” he tried once more, tone casual but eyes a little too honest, “you always this mean or am i special?”
you took another sip, “i’m not mean,” you calmly stated, “i’m honest.”
“same!” he grinned without missing a beat, “for example-“
you cut him off with a glance, just one sharp look and he stopped instantly.
he couldn’t help it, your eyes had some sort of hold on him.
you tilted your head as a silent question, slow, like you were indulging a bad habit.
his grin softened. dangerous territory.
“for example,” he repeated, quieter now, “i think you’re the most interesting person in this room. and that says a lot, considering i’m shirtless and covered in glitter.”
you glanced at his torso, his glasses then his face, “you look ridiculous.”
there was no amusement in your tone, nothing to indicate you were joking or found the situation even the slightest bit entertaining but he chuckled softly anyway.
“yeah.” he breathed out as you rolled your eyes a bit, turning away, “what’s your name?”
you didn’t answer right away, instead, your body turned just enough to face him fully, eyes lifting to meet his, “why?”
satoru felt that unfamiliar feeling again. clammy hands, beating heart, hitching breaths.
“because i wanna know you.” his words left him earnestly, soulfully, with none of his usual amusement or cheerfulness.
“that’s unfortunate.” you stated bluntly.
satoru’s brows furrowed a bit, “don’t say that. you’re fucking beautiful and funny and-“
you practically flinched at his words, hating the slew of compliments that was leaving his lips.
“i meant for me.”
your words cut him off quick and satoru paused immediately, eyes gazing upon you for a moment before your words finally registered. then, he laughed loud.
he was so loud.
“that makes more sense.” he nodded with a grin, eyes still gleaming with something far from his usual amusement, something deeper and spoke louder than any of his other emotions.
and he had so many of them.
and you seemingly had so little.
“satoru,” he offered with a smile, tapping his chest, “in case you were wondering.”
you weren’t. but you nodded once.
“noted.”
he waited and you gave him nothing else.
no name. no smile. no invitation.
and yet, he felt it and he knew it. this wasn’t rejection, it was a locked door.
and satoru gojo had never wanted a key more in his life.
the music swelled around you, bass rattling the walls as laughter burst and bodies pressed closer together.
with every ounce of strength in his body, satoru took a step closer and you didn’t move away.
instead, you shifted your weight, hip bumping the table as you reached for a napkin. closer now. close enough that satoru could smell something faint and intoxicating beneath the alcohol and smoke. you smelled like something soft and rich, dark and fucking addicting.
“you don’t talk much…” he breathed out, not wanting to admit just how rattled you’ve got him.
fuck, he felt feral. he’d never wanted, needed anyone or anything more.
“i don’t enjoy unnecessary talking.”
he hummed a bit, “tragic. i thrive on it.”
“i noticed.”
he smiled, softer this time, less showing. like he’d forgotten he was performing.
“you didn’t tell me your name.”
your gaze slid to him, slow and assessing and so fucking pretty.
“i didn’t ask for yours.”
“yeah,” he admitted, “but i offered.”
you blinked once, unfazed, “people usually offer things because they want something in return.”
his grin tilted, biting his lip for a moment before speaking, “you’re not wrong.”
his tone went lower, deeper, rougher and you hated to admit the slight interest that peaked within you.
he was, no doubt, extremely attractive. you were cold, not blind.
your eyes shifted, gaze tilting up as you looked at him through your lashes, face still blank but eyes speaking volumes and satoru could swear that his knees buckled.
“so what do you want?”
he was ashamed to admit that your words went straight to his dick, gulping as his eyes studied the way you looked at him. he was doing mental gymnastics, trying to assess whether or not he should shoot his shot or spare himself the embarrassment.
because he didn’t know you that well yet and he hated that more than anything.
yes, you were blunt and honest and maybe a bit dismissive but you weren’t rude. you didn’t seem uncomfortable or desperate to get away from him.
his mouth parted, some joke ready to spill out but he stalled.
because lying suddenly felt impossible.
denying himself you was something he’d never forgive himself for.
“right now?” his voice was rough and quiet, raspy as he moved forward till there was only a small space between you, your chin tilting up to meet his gaze, “i want you.”
and that was still a lie. because he didn’t just want you right now. he wanted you always, he couldn’t imagine a time after this where he wouldn’t want you.
you tilted your head, face not revealing an ounce of emotion. but your eyes were more expressive than they've been the whole night. they were darker.
“that’s not happening.” your words left you softer than you had intended, as if you didn’t believe them yourself.
you didn’t expect satoru to simply nod easily, “okay.”
the lack of protest made you pause, “okay?”
“yeah,” he nodded, taking a step closer as if he knew something you didn’t, “you’re the prettiest fucking thing i’ve ever seen. it’s worth telling you.”
you studied him once more, calculating and slow, like you were searching for a catch.
“you always give up this easily?”
he smiled, something small and real.
“never really had to try, to be honest.”
another beat. the party shifted around you, someone spilled a drink, someone sang out of key and loud. the night kept moving.
you didn’t.
“i don’t date,” you stated suddenly, firm and final.
satoru felt his heart skip a beat, hands clenching at his side.
it was genuinely like riding through a dark and cold tunnel and suddenly, some light began spilling in.
he nodded heavily.
“i don’t like relationships.”
another nod, almost frantic this time.
more light.
“and i don’t like feelings.”
his chest tightened but his face didn’t show it.
more and more light spilled in.
no feelings? that was usually no problem for him but how was he going to explain that he’d discovered about four new emotions in the span of meeting you.
all you did was make him feel.
nonetheless, he nodded tightly.
there were more important things now and his number one priority was getting you all to himself.
you watched him carefully, as if waiting for the moment he’d slip. push. argue. try to bargain.
but he was basically still as a rock, as if any wrong move would have you fleeing.
he couldn’t believe you were even considering this.
“no dating, no relationships, no feelings,” he breathed out, heart hammering and hands twitching to finally touch, to feel, “got it.”
you exhaled slowly, blinking up at him so pretty, he wanted to pounce.
“you’re agreeing too easily.”
he smiled, crooked and utterly helpless, “i don’t want to scare you, but i think i need you.”
your gaze dropped, not shy or flustered, just thorough. taking him in like you were deciding whether he was worth the inconvenience.
shirtless, glittered and flushed form alcohol and adrenaline. and stupidly beautiful in a way that made you hot just looking at him.
the last time you’d hooked up with someone was freshman year. once. your first time and that was it.
you didn’t even know what was coming over you, you hadn’t even considered sleeping with someone for years.
you looked up at satoru again and your body had decided for you before your mind even had to think.
“are you clean?”
satoru almost cried. light. light. light.
he thanked everything that he’d spent the past month in france with his family and hadn’t hooked up with anyone. this week was their first week back and today was the first party.
thank fuck.
“a month clean.”
the words left him like someone had punched it out of him, he was almost in disbelief as you sighed gently, placing your cup on the table before turning to face him fully, face bored but eyes determined.
“i’m not sleeping with you here, this place is probably riddled with std’s.”
he gulped softly, nodding once, “fair.”
“we can go to my place,” you continued, gently flipping your hair over your shoulder, “but you won’t stay the night.”
his eyes faltered just a little, but at this point, his desperation to be inside you outgrew any stupid emotion he’d deal with in the morning.
you seemed to finally be convinced, nodding once before grabbing your phone off the table.
“i’m going home then,” you said bluntly, “you can come. or you can stay.”
his heart kicked violently against his ribs.
and he was out from the tunnel, light enveloping his body as he took a breath.
you didn’t wait for him as you moved towards the crowd. he was quick to follow, you could feel his chest brush against your back.
“don’t even know your name.” he grinned against your ear as he leaned down, joking but his chest also clenched in a way he couldn’t explain.
“you don’t need it.” you glanced over your shoulder, your lips lightly brushing against his jaw and he was about to burst.
he grinned, breathless now and absolutely undone.
the cold air finally met your figures as you exited the frat house.
“i will.”
and you had to ignore the way his voice dipped an octave, the lingering insinuation behind his words traveling straight to your core.
fuck, this was going to be messy. ☀︎ AHHHHH new series im soooo excited abt this! i know the reader gives black cat energy but you'll see the avoidant vibes more later on but i love this idea
lmk what you guys think so farrrr and if u like the idea 🤭🤭🤭
