[orteil42]

everyone needs a creative outlet to stick a creative fork into

[adz]

im in the pussy like turmeric in tupperware

[adz]

nods serenely

[sleepy-bebby]

If anyone wants to know what a leopard seal sounds like 🦷🩸

[bandydear]

Leopard Seals are what happens when god needs a lizard and all he has is a mammal

[gallusrostromegalus]

I'd recommend turning the sound on. The seal is not screaming. It's not very loud at all, actually, but the noise it's making is Much Worse.

[easterndaylighttime]

if I just had the presence of mind and the wherewithal and the chutzpah and the bandwidth and the executive function and the energy and the mental resources and the spoons and the right attitude and the capacity and the gumption and th

[sunshinestarseed-deactivated202]

[edwardbateman]

this is what is happening between us when i like your vent post

[aaaangel444]

[throo]

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

[throo]

We could have been eating him

[ate-a-chili]

[record scratch] [freeze frame]: yeah that's me. that's me in the corner. that's me in the spotlight, losing my religion.

[mymanreedus]

[weantuniverse]

(via Facebook)

[fuckin-cinderella]

[furiousfran]

Some exciting new developments in horse-worsening technology

[furiousfran]

Some more hoources since staff finally unfucked the reblogs and I can add these ones without the post being all dicked up, yaaay!

Gonna getcha

(Caricature of an unfortunately very real arabian halter stallion)

[hiveswap]

they dont tell you this but you carry your upset younger self in you like a parasitic twin

[tokkibean]

i do not “delete sentences” when they start “hindering the plot” i COPY PASTE THEM into a SEPARATE DOC made just for keeping all my USELESS LINES that i will also NEVER USE so therefore i should JUST DELETE THEM but i DONT because id FEEL BAD if i did

[harpyharpyharpy]

You don't actually have to kill your darlings. You can just put them in the oubliette #myoubliette

[bamfspock]

Bosses and Coworkers: you've got a great work ethic, going above and beyond

Me: I am literally just doing my job. Everyone else is slacking off.

Everyone Else: (magically knows somehow the secret amounts of work the boss is actually asking of them, which the boss cannot tell anyone for Reasons)

[bamfspock]

There always seems to be a gap in instructions (from bosses, parents, teachers, friends, whoever) between 'required' and 'expected', and this gap is:

invisible

never explained

always a different size

you have to guess the size

if you guess wrong you either get Praised or In Trouble

[tgatbc]

[beemovieerotica]