tw: animal death
So I’ve read scientists estimate that 150-200 species of plant, insect, bird and mammal become extinct every 24 hours. Ouch. Webtoons
Not today Justin
Today's Document
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Monterey Bay Aquarium
cherry valley forever

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Stranger Things
$LAYYYTER
we're not kids anymore.

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pixel skylines
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@do-not-forget-how-to-fly
tw: animal death
So I’ve read scientists estimate that 150-200 species of plant, insect, bird and mammal become extinct every 24 hours. Ouch. Webtoons
For all my new followers: Some not-so-cute things about anorexia.
I want y’all to see the reality of this disorder.
EDIT: this is meant for those who are actively seeking out an eating disorder, or are romanticizing the illness, like “new anas.” this isn’t meant to cure anyone from anorexia.
1. being cold. all. the. time. you have to sleep with at least two blankets.
2. lanugo. think it’s cute to have thick hair ALL over your body??
3. that cute ass you had? it’s gone.
4. crying all the time
5. shaky hands, shaky arms, shaky legs, shaky everything.
6. you disappoint basically everyone important to you
7. it’s not cute to get smashed after one drink. it’s embarrassing.
8. forgetting everything. why did i walk into this room? where did i put my phone? why did i put my deodorant on the kitchen counter?
9. chewing food literally feels like you’re eating a live slug.
10. all those friends you love? you’ll basically never see them because you’re too afraid that they’ll suggest going out for lunch or try to give you food.
11. goal weights? not a thing. no matter how low your weight is, you’ll never be satisfied
12. this disorder literally kills you slowly, from the inside out
13. you have to sleep with a thick blanket or pillow between your knees because the feeling of your bones pressing against each other is too painful
14. your whole life feels like it’s a haze
15. concentration goes out the window. your grades will go down, you might even fail a class because for some fucking reason not eating is more important than getting a degree. think about that.
16. treatment is inevitable if you don’t get it under control yourself. and treatment is the worst experience you could possibly have – people FORCING you to eat, lots of crying, and its fucking expensive
17. you are so wasteful. all that healthy food you bought? you’ll eventually get to a point where you can’t even eat that and it just rots in your fridge.
18. it gets to a point where you care more about the number on the scale than your own fucking family
19. all your free time will be spent running. or walking. or working out. anything to burn off the calories you did (or didn’t) eat
20. eventually 50 calories is too much for one day
21. at a certain point, a size 0 is too big and all clothes look ill-fitting, not cute and baggy.
22. YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL. no matter how much you think you are, you’re not. you’re a slave to your own brain.
23. YOU ARE A LIAR. you lie to your family, to your therapist, to your friends, and there’s no undoing that. once people know you’re lying, they’ll never believe you again.
24. this disorder does not make you special. it makes you sick. and it makes you look selfish and weak to other people. that’s the reality.
25. get help.
this is the reality of this disorder. it’s not cute. it’s not fun. it’s addicting. and it ruins your life. that’s it. it’s an illness and you have to see it for what it is.
Things I'm learning to say:
1. I’m too busy to do that right now
2. That’s none of your business
3. I don’t think that’s funny
4. I’m still talking
5. You’ll have to wait
6. I need a minute to myself
7. When you …, I feel like ….
8. That makes me uncomfortable
9. You’re right, I never considered that
10. I did the wrong thing, I understand now why it was the wrong thing, and in the future I will do X thing instead
11. I’m really good at this
12. I love you, you’re important to me, you have qualities I admire
13. That was my fault
14. That wasn’t my fault
all I want is a cute apartment with big windows, sunshine streaming through, a full bookcase, the smell of coffee and to be content and at peace with life
a lot of people make it seem like recovery is a step by step thing but they never talk about the relapses and the fact that recovery (emotional, mental, any kind) is a roller coaster that doesn’t work that way, some days you’re going to feel like you’re completely well and you’ll feel like you were never hurt in the first place, but other days it’ll seem like you never recovered at all. The point is, recovery isn’t linear, you’re going to fall back and spring forward. It’s okay to not be okay. And one day, you will be.
All helpful self care. worth to save.
Back in the game
Nothin goes as planned. Everything will break. People say goodbye. In their own special way. All that you rely on And all that you can fake Will leave you in the morning But find you in the day
Oh you're in my veins And I cannot get you out Oh you're all I taste At night inside of my mouth Oh you run away Cause I am not what you found Oh you're in my veins And I cannot get you out.
Everything will change. Nothin stays the same. And nobody here's perfect. Oh but everyones to blame All that you rely on And all that you can save Will leave you in the morning And find you in the day
[...]
-Andrew Belle ft. Erin Mccarley, In My Veins