Be your own anchor @do-you-find-thisdistracting - Tumblr Blog

wholeheartedsuggestions

to myself,

i am trying to love you more

serobellatonin

on God bitch we gon be alright

wholeheartedsuggestions

idk why but this made me feel a lot better

954mm

clamchowdurr-deactivated2022040

That time of the year again

forever-slaying

“You threw a turkey at me” 😂😂

bantugal

I love white ppl😍

psychedelicfelon

White peoples live lifetime movies 😂😂😂

mxnrique

tag yourself i’m the one recording.

wheredoyougofromhere

My favorite holiday movie

livelifegoldennn

his screams in the background while his mom is crying and picking up the food is my favorite song

glixbitch

me writing a sentence

canadianstuck

One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.

And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”

He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.

ournameisfun

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

sammysausage

When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”

She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”

He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”

Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”

windyvalleyzone

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

jxhn-mulaney

i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”

animatedwisdom

Bonus:

the-shipping-machine

He’s the best character in that entire series. Change my mind.

cocoacallalily

Men have no idea how good gentleness looks on them.

yeehawlw

women’s clothing is so inconsistently sized i haven’t known what size i am since middle school

coldtongue

“you’re so polite!” thanks, I am afraid of you.

rodnt

*walks past a group of men* wow the ground is so interesting the floor is facisnating…love dirt and also concrete…sidewalks amaze me

argumate

huh that seemingly unpleasant task only ended up taking eight minutes to complete and was surprisingly satisfying, I may have erred in putting it off for two weeks.

gasmaskaesthetic

Just fucking tag me next time there’s no need to be passive aggressive

cheruib

u know whats really sexy?? doing the things u love without giving a fuck whether ur good at it or not

achillesthetic

Et tu, overwhelming fear of academic failure?

90s90s90s

laguerradelasgalaxias

What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

inquisitorpsyduck

sometimes I wonder how much of this movie was scripted and how much was improve.

satirizing

“Basically for those of you who don’t know, the whole film’s improvised, so those scenes with the werewolves went on for about ten minutes longer than they should have. And it took hours and hours just to shoot everything because we do 15 takes or something. And no one knew when to say cut. We would look at each other and go, ‘We’re in character! Okay, yeah keep going!’” [x]