Eric Northman

Indie Eric Northman rp & ask blog Mun and muse are 21 + OC and crossover friendly Multi-verse and multi-ship. NSFW and common triggers are tagged. Verse page under construction

[munchmemesa]

birdbox starters.

❛  you have to do every single thing i say or we will not make it. understand  ?  ❜

❛  uh  …  asshole. i was listening to that.  ❜

❛  god, why does your voice get high when it gets excited  ?  ❜

❛  wow. such venom.  ❜

❛  loneliness is just incidental. it’s really about people’s inability to connect.  ❜

❛  can you move  ?  i need you to move.  ❜

❛  too bad we’re not horses.  ❜

❛  poor us. we should go feel sorry for ourselves with lunch and a bottle of wine.  ❜

❛  go, go, go, go, go, go  !  ❜

❛  i find it comforting to focus on the wrong things.  ❜

❛  you gotta let me just drive. you’re freaking me out. seriously, just let me do it.  ❜

❛  what the fuck is what  ?  what are you looking at  ?  ❜

❛  what did you see  ?  talk to me.  ❜

❛  keep your eyes down.  ❜

❛  i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.  ❜

❛  the only thing that will happen soon is we’re all gonna die soon.  ❜

❛  we are so fucking fucked.  ❜

❛  it’s end game, man.  ❜

❛  hey, hey. why don’t we sit back down  ?  ❜

❛  is anybody out there  ?  can anybody hear me  ?  hello  ?  ❜

❛  get down  !  get down  !  get down  !  ❜

❛  okay, i know you’re scared. listen, there’s no need.  ❜

❛  that’s not a fucking speed bump  !  ❜

❛  fuck that. where’s the booze  ?  ❜

❛  i had an interesting childhood.  ❜

❛  you’re only saying that ‘cause we’re all gonna die.  ❜

❛  well, here’s an argument : we’re not assholes.  ❜

❛  please. please, let me in.  ❜

❛  in the end, there are only two types of people. the assholes and the dead.  ❜

❛  i hope there’s more.  ❜

❛  did you hear that  ?  ❜

❛  you do exactly what i say or you die, do you understand me  ?  ❜

❛  if something happens to me, do not try and help me. forget about me and try to save yourself.  ❜

❛  we really loved meeting you. now, fuck off.  ❜

❛  it’s not a story. it’s a lie.  ❜

❛  surviving is not living.  ❜

❛  you know what i saw  ?  at the top of the tree  ?  ❜

❛  i’m not leaving you.  ❜

❛  hold tight. don’t let go. we’re gonna be okay.  ❜

❛  good job. get up. stand up.  ❜

❛  it’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real.  ❜

❛  do not take off your blindfold  !  ❜

❛  i have so much i want to show you. i have so much i want you to see.  ❜

❛  we have to do it together, okay  ?  ❜

❛  it’s too loud  !  it’s too noisy  !  ❜

❛  i’m going to get you some dry clothes.  ❜

[doesntlovehumans]

blows a kiss @ the vampire

“How about I keep that safe for you, little Red” Eric would pretend to catch the kiss and pressed his hand on his groin shamelessly.

@bellexmort

[doesntlovehumans]

thejestersiren​:

Harley grinned up at him, nuzzling against his stomach as the tip of the knife poked into his skin, making a small hole in him that she dragged along his stomach. She drew a smile in his stomach and sat up to see her work. Harley big her lip and giggled as she laid against his body, carving more designs in his skin and kissing each spot before moving to the next.

She sat up and leaned to kiss him, her lips laying against his as she spoke. “When you fuck me.. I want ya to remind me how a Viking warrior takes his woman.” Harley kissed down his neck and pressed her lap down on his.

“Aoutch-” Eric purred with a smirk tracing his teeth with his tongue watching her toy with his flesh like such, tearing and snipping to her hearts content drawing foul blood to the surface that did not drip past the wound.

“Your wish is my command my queen.” the vampire purred turning his head just enough to give her access to his neck where no heart beat was to be found.

“I do so adore you, Harls. Would you carve your name into me if I was mortal I wonder. Leave me with marks and bruises to mark me as yours” Purr purr,nuzzle nuzzle as he rolled his hips to brush up against her core.

[avikingsprogeny]

smol teeny tiny post to say I miss @doesntlovehumans that is all.

[doesntlovehumans]

“And what are you going to do to keep me around, Pam?”

[doesntlovehumans]

thejestersiren‌:

Harley snapped at his finger with a smirk and nuzzled her nose against his. “But distractin’ you is so fun. Don’t ya remember the last time?” She unhooked her legs from around his waist and lowered herself to the ground before opening the bag on her shoulder. Harley pulled out a black bladed knife with small red rubies sitting along the handle. “I really liked this one. Made me think of the first dress you ripped apart.”

She had quite the habit of distracting him. Heck, there were times where her sudden visit would mean he would drop every responsibility just ti pursue her. He had lived a thousand years, it had been centuries since the last time a woman kept him on his toes. “Fancy, beautiful. Elegant like it’s handler” Eric mused propping himself on the bed and opened his shirt of her.

Every few visits they would switch who was in charge, he had no problem being her play thing, she always rewarded him well for it.

“I want to feel that tongue before the knife”

[thejestersirenarchive]

Harley ran and jumped onto the bed, smirking as she went to sit between his legs. “Just my tongue? Can I use my lips too?” She knelt over him staring up at him as she licked from his waistband to his stomach and back down, followed by the blunt edge of the blade.

She sighed against his skin, smiling as she kissed around his bellybutton. “I forgot how good ya taste.”

[doesntlovehumans]

She was a little spitfire much like he remembered her. Then again she wore the mischievous grin well, she wore her craziness well. Heck, they suited each other well sexually , not many women could put up with him in bed and probably not many men let her actually plunge daggers in them. She probably had other men to toy with too, ones shed drag her nails and knives across but he knew he was her favorite .

"I missed you. I missed your scent . The way you feel on top of me " the Viking praised watching her toy with the knife, a smirk forming as she kissed his skin .

"You truly are one of a kind doctor "

[doesntlovehumans]

thejestersiren‌:

Harley snapped at his finger with a smirk and nuzzled her nose against his. “But distractin’ you is so fun. Don’t ya remember the last time?” She unhooked her legs from around his waist and lowered herself to the ground before opening the bag on her shoulder. Harley pulled out a black bladed knife with small red rubies sitting along the handle. “I really liked this one. Made me think of the first dress you ripped apart.”

She had quite the habit of distracting him. Heck, there were times where her sudden visit would mean he would drop every responsibility just ti pursue her. He had lived a thousand years, it had been centuries since the last time a woman kept him on his toes. “Fancy, beautiful. Elegant like it’s handler” Eric mused propping himself on the bed and opened his shirt of her.

Every few visits they would switch who was in charge, he had no problem being her play thing, she always rewarded him well for it.

“I want to feel that tongue before the knife”

[doesntlovehumans]

thejestersiren‌:

Harley jumped into Eric’s arms and wrapped her arms and legs around him as soon as she was close enough. She returned his kiss and smiled with a gentle moan. “Why would I make my favorite Viking wait? Especially if he came all this way just for me.” Harley gave him another kiss and bit her lip. “I’ve got more knives too. I think ya might like ‘em.”

She was a little spitfire as always. “You say all the things I want to hear little pet” the viking praised grinning as he saw that little lip bite,using his thumb to untuck her lip. “Don’t bite your lip, it’s very distracting” he warned leaning down to press his forehead against Harley’s to take in her scent.

“That’s what I like about you, you’re a woman who knows what she wants. Show me-”

[doesntlovehumans]

thejestersiren‌:

Before she had a chance to react Harley was against the wall with the breath being forced out of her lungs. She smiled up at him, happily taking the card in her open mouth. She nodded and went to speak but he was gone before she had the chance. Harley looked around for him but he was long gone. She took in the address and stuffed the card in her bra before running back to her apartment.

He waited for her at the designated address having completed his evening business ventures as well as fed ..nay gorged himself so he would have plenty of blood flowing through him to be warm to the touch as well as so something would bleed out of him when she got playful with her knifes. “Right on time miss Quinn” the viking praised picking her up and kissing her deeply.

He too had missed her.

[doesntlovehumans]

@thejestersiren​

“Naaw, I hear my little pet missed me” The vampire appeared out of nowhere in front of her as she was walking down the street in Gotham and wasting no time he grabbed her by the throat to pin her against the nearby wall finger trailing up her thigh.  “The little birdies tell me you have been lonely for far too long- not here. Not now. Meet me at this address in one hour...and bring the pretty knives we like” he did not even kiss her, he simply put a card with an address in her mouth and just as fast vanished .

[actualarchive]

a hundred random starters 

below are starters based on/inspired by various sources. change the genders as you see fit ;)

❝ why do you keep lying to me? ❞

❝ have you ever considered the idea that maybe, this world doesn’t revolve around you & your problems? ❞

❝ love is love is love is love. ❞

❝ marriage is an absurd arrangement. one is sold as a fifteen-year-old child and makes a vow one does not understand and then regrets for thirty years or more, and which one can never undo again. ❞

❝ why are you crying this time? ❞

❝ you will never escape. ❞

❝ this isn’t what I wanted! ❞

❝ everything has its consequences. ❞

❝ this face bears the mission of heaven. ❞

❝ no, you shall dismantle the house of lies, but build the temple of the divine. ❞

❝ one copper coin for a bowl of noodles! ❞

❝ that one has the heart of a lion. ❞

❝ I needed to be summoned. ❞

❝ there’s no reason for this hostility! I come in peace. ❞

❝ they died screaming. ❞

❝ why fight anymore? what’s the point of fighting against destiny? ❞

❝ how long have you known? ❞

❝ I can only speak for myself. ❞

❝ the law can be changed. ❞

❝ are you sure you’re not pregnant? ❞

❝ your child is adorable! ❞

❝ you gave him a riddle for his birthday? ❞

❝ you have no fucking right to treat me this way. ❞

❝ your ambition blinds you. ❞

❝ he adores you. ❞

❝ I feel like I should be shocked that you two had sex there, but I’m not anymore. ❞

❝ she’s going to kill you. ❞

❝ have you ever tried the cakes? they’re actually quite delicious. ❞

❝ you’ll need to be punished. ❞

❝ you should learn to lie better. ❞

❝ sometimes I wonder if you’re real. ❞

❝ I will take back what is mine & kill anyone who stands in my way. ❞

❝ then kill me. ❞

❝ there’s no such thing as love. there is only lust. ❞

❝ you’re selfish. you never think about anyone but yourself. ❞

❝ i’m sorry, but they’re gone. ❞

❝ death is just another adventure. ❞

❝ stop! ❞

❝ let them watch. ❞

❝ you have no shame, do you? ❞

❝ I can’t believe we’re talking about this right now. ❞

❝ I need advice. sex advice. ❞

❝ alright, tell me the truth, is he good in bed? ❞

❝ she is the best thing in my life. ❞

❝ you love him? ❞

❝ do you love me at all? ❞

❝ do you believe in soul mates? ❞

❝ please, you have to believe me. I didn’t kill anyone! ❞

❝ history is written by the victorious. ❞

❝ at least she has a heart! you have none. ❞

❝ isn’t it more important that they told you? ❞

❝ the king is displeased. ❞

❝ long live your majesty! ❞

❝ can you stop talking for just one moment & listen to me? ❞

❝ no matter how hard I try, they just won’t stay dead. ❞

❝ he’s a gold digger. he’ll screw anyone & marry them as long as they have money. ❞

❝ o! how sweet love must be! ❞

❝ do you really think that? ❞

❝ quick, you need to hide before they see you! ❞

❝ you taught me to never trust anyone. ❞

❝ this is extreme, even for you. ❞

❝ you guys were pretty loud last night. I guess it was good? ❞

❝ that wasn’t an apology & you know it. ❞

❝ are you a virgin? ❞

❝ I’m married. ❞

❝ best thing I ever did was marrying you. ❞

❝ red roses won’t erase the fact that you broke my heart. ❞

❝ stop taking all the ice cream! ❞

❝ has anyone told you that you’re sort of a little bitch? ❞

❝ it’s deep dish pizza. ❞

❝ do you want to fight for your land back or not? ❞

❝ I never realized how much of a coward you are. ❞

❝ there’s nothing worse than someone who isn’t willing to try new things. ❞

❝ haven’t you ever wanted to escape? to leave this place & explore the world? ❞

❝ i think you’ve had enough to drink. ❞

❝ your ancestors would be ashamed if they saw you. ❞

❝ one of the dolls is missing! ❞

❝ are we going to die here? ❞

❝ well looks like we’ve found ourselves in a bit of a dilemma. ❞

❝ I am no longer a child! ❞

❝ the baby won’t stop crying! i don’t know what to do anymore! ❞

❝ what if something happens to them? ❞

❝ once upon a time, I gave a damn about what people thought about me. ❞

❝ if he can get away with this, then so can i! ❞

❝ the dark shall come & take everything you love from you. ❞

❝ it’s the same story over & over again. you’d think people would know better by now. ❞

❝ there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. ❞

❝ you are what is wrong with this world. ❞

❝ shattered dreams can drive anyone mad. ❞

❝ I am a phoenix. burn me & I shall return, rising from the ashes. ❞

❝ this is my home. ❞

❝ home is where the heart is, where you feel safe & warm & loved. ❞

❝ running away has never solved a damn thing! ❞

❝ fuck me. ❞

❝ oh the things I’d do to you if we were alone. ❞

❝ stop, he’s not here, remember? he’s gone & he can’t hurt you anymore. ❞

❝ your husband/wife – is he/she good to you? ❞

❝ stop & think a moment, you have to stay & rest. there’s a child who needs you now, you can’t just run & be a fucking idiot. ❞

❝ once, I drank a whole bottle by myself. ❞

❝ what do I want? I want to kiss you a thousand times before undressing you & kissing every bit of your flesh a thousand more times. ❞

[litprompts]

📚  𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 & 𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐋'𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐒 ( 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟐 ) 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒                ↳ change pronouns / details as necessary.

❛  maybe we’ll get some peace around here.  ❜ ❛  all that togetherness gets a little tiresome.  ❜ ❛  i know i don’t have a right to ask.  ❜ ❛  help ! help ! somebody help me !  ❜ ❛  let’s get off the side of the road.  ❜ ❛  stop making noise, honey ! he’ll hear you !  ❜ ❛  we’re lost and i can’t find the road.  ❜ ❛  when kids see me, they want to be me !  ❜ ❛  go back while you still can !  ❜ ❛  where the hell are you ?  ❜ ❛  for now, just talk to me.  ❜ ❛  and i’m going to stay here until you get to me.  ❜ ❛  there’s something wrong here.  ❜ ❛  do you want me to keep talking ?  ❜ ❛  just shut up and wait !  ❜ ❛  oh come the fuck on, this is … this is nuts !  ❜ ❛  what should we do ?  we’re lost !  ❜ ❛  there’s no morning or night here,  only eternal afternoon.  ❜ ❛  calm down. want to get out ?  it’s easy.  ❜ ❛  last chance ,  come with me or die.  ❜ ❛  the grass has things to tell you. you just need to learn to listen.  ❜ ❛  your ass — your ass is grass now !  ❜ ❛  come here, i said — now bitch.  ❜ ❛  we’ll just circle around and around each other, calling until we go insane.  ❜ ❛  it doesn’t have to be that way.  ❜ ❛  it’s easier to find things in here once they’re dead.  ❜ ❛  no. i can do better than that. i can show you.  ❜ ❛  i’d rather stay lost.  ❜ ❛  no one would rather stay lost.  ❜ ❛  no more you’ll make yourself sick.  ❜ ❛  i don’t believe you.  ❜ ❛  i’m all about the human fuckin’ kindness.  ❜

[litprompts]

📚     JAMIL AHMAD’S THE WANDERING FALCON ( 2011 ) STARTERS.           ↳ change pronouns / wording as necessary.

❛  do you wish for anything else ?  ❜ ❛  refuge we cannot give you.  ❜ ❛  i shall not seek refuge of you. can i have food and shelter for a few days ?  ❜ ❛  there is something about them i do not like.  ❜ ❛  stay for a while, i like looking at you. there is an air of peace around you.  ❜ ❛  i shall feast your friends and defy your enemies, wherever they be.  ❜ ❛  he was asking questions about you. you know what that means ?  ❜ ❛  if God wills, we shall meet again one day.  ❜ ❛  perhaps they did not chase us. perhaps they have lost us.  ❜ ❛  they are after us. i feel it in the air.  ❜ ❛  there is no escape for any of us. there was never any escape.  ❜ ❛  you know what i have to do now ?  ❜ ❛  we have talked about this day many times.  ❜ ❛  but i am afraid, my love.  ❜ ❛  we shall leave him as we found him.  ❜ ❛  which way do we go tomorrow ?  ❜ ❛  if proven guilty, you could die.  ❜ ❛  fables have no use here, they are not evidence.  ❜ ❛  i am leaving this town, and you will come with me.  ❜ ❛  the place I am going to is far away, but you and i might like it.”  ❜ ❛  what is this story i hear about you ?  ❜ ❛  you will help him, of course.  ❜ ❛  my men are ready to escort you, unless you want to rest.  ❜ ❛  i have also heard a rumor of this kind, and it had worried me somewhat.  ❜ ❛  do you think there is something to it ?  ❜ ❛  i did not forget my promise.  ❜ ❛  you and I cannot prevent this change even if we wish to.  ❜ ❛  this argument has been used, and it did not count.  ❜ ❛  you will now have to accept it and try to live with it.  ❜ ❛  it is for us to make up our minds.  ❜ ❛  you are ignorant in some ways.  ❜ ❛  why do you visit this grave so regularly ?  ❜ ❛  things had been quiet—in fact, unnaturally quiet.  ❜ ❛  i thought this over for some time.  ❜ ❛  what chance does he give us ?  ❜ ❛  i knew it would come to that.  ❜ ❛  do you understand what it would mean ?  ❜ ❛  i know that as a friend, you would do the same for me.  ❜ ❛  one moment he was there, and the next he was gone.  ❜ ❛  come, have some tea before you leave.  ❜ ❛  a dependable man alone makes a good friend.  ❜ ❛  tell me all that your eyes have seen.  ❜ ❛  i have been trying to place you, but i have failed.  ❜ ❛  who are you, and where do you come from ?  ❜ ❛  he’s only being curious because i gave him a reason to be so.  ❜ ❛  i do not wish to hurt you, it is not necessary that i should be right in this matter.  ❜ ❛  warm your feet over the fire.  ❜ ❛  my luck seemed to have run out.  ❜ ❛  when are you coming back ?  ❜ ❛  can you not see that he is dying ?  ❜ ❛  she has created a terrible problem for us all.  ❜ ❛  but we have already spent the money !  ❜ ❛  how long are you staying ?  ❜ ❛  you find all kinds of people in this world.  ❜

[splattermemes-deactivated202007]

“Fuck” Sentence Starters

Angry

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Fuck this.”

“Get the fuck out of here.”

“Who the fuck are you?”

“Fuck that!”

“I fucking hate him/her/them/you.”

“Fuck. FUCK. FUUUUCK!”

“Shut the fuck up.“

“Get your fucking act together.”

“Keep your shitty nose out of my fucking business.”

“Leave me alone, or I’ll fuck you up.”

“Get your fucking hands off of me!”

“Stay the fuck away from me.”

“Who stole my fucking shit?!”

“Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?”

“You wanna fucking go, punk?”

“Get the fuck over it.”

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“What the fuck do you want from me?”

Sad

“Fuck life.” 

“No, I’m not fucking over it.”

“Why the fuck did he/she/they have to go and die?”

“What the fuck am I supposed to do now?”

“Why did things have to go so fucking wrong?”

“I’m gonna eat fifty fucking cartons of ice cream and then pass out and die like a warrior.”

“Try to fucking stop me from leaving my room. It’s not gonna happen.”

“The love of my life just decided that I was worth fucking nothing.”

“I fucking miss him/her/them.”

“Who the fuck cares?”

“All of this fucking shit was for nothing.”

“I fucked up my own life.”

“I can’t believe I did this fucking shit all over again.”

Insults

“Fuck you!”

“I fucked your mom last night.” 

“You’re a fucking asshole.”

“You just think you’re fucking hilarious, don’t you?” 

“Who the fuck died and made you king/queen/ruler?” 

“Go to fucking hell, you piece of shit!”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Motherfucker!”

“Wow, that’s fucking small.”

“Get the fuck over yourself.”

Sexy

“Fuck me.”

“I don’t ‘make love’, I fuck.”

“I’d fuck you all night long.”

“You look like a fucking dog in heat.”

“You look so fucking hot right now.”

“Fuck–faster~”

“FUCK, I’m gonna come!”

“I’ll fuck you right here, right now.”

“Babe, fuck–not here.”

“You’re one cocky motherfucker. Let’s go back to my place.”

“I want to bend you over and fuck you until you can’t walk.”

“I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk.”

“F-fuck–please–~”

“I’d let you fuck me any day.”

“You better use a fucking condom.”

“Tell me what you want me to fucking do to you.”

“Do you want me to fuck you while everyone’s watching?”

“Fuck, it’s big.”

“Let’s make a fucking baby.”

Situations

“Give me a break. I’m in the fucking hospital.”

“How are YOU mad at ME when I’m the one who’s in FUCKING JAIL?”

“Help me set this fucking thing on fire.”

“I’m gonna need a fucking lawyer.”

“This is all YOUR fault, you dumb fuck.”

“It’s not MY fault we’re in fucking handcuffs.”

“Fuck, I’m so wasted.”

“What the fuck did we do last night?”

“Where the fuck am I?”

“Fuck. SHIT. There goes my car.”

“Wait–fuck. Isn’t that my house?”

“Fuck it. Might as well have fun, if we’re going to get caught.”

“Why the fuck do you have gasoline?”

“Where the fuck did that baby come from?!”

“It’s not a party until someone almost fucking dies.”

“FUCK, you scared the shit out of me!”

[horrificmemes]

‘Blood’ sentence starters

“I’m going to make you bleed.” “There’s so much blood.” “Where did this blood come from?” “I have inhuman blood running through my veins.” “Why are you covered in blood?!” “Shit, I’m bleeding.” “I’ll clean up all this blood when I’m finished.” “There will be blood.” “Thinking of it makes my blood run cold.” “There was blood everywhere.” “I still remember the smell of all that blood.” “I’ve never seen so much blood in my life.” “Nothing is more pleasant than the taste of blood.” “Your blood tastes so sweet.” “There’s blood on my/your hands.” “Their blood will be on your hands!” “Have you ever tasted blood?” “I’ve seen a lot of blood, but yours is by far my favorite.” “You get used to the blood after a while.” “The sight of blood gives me the shivers.” “I can’t stand the smell of blood.” “It was so quiet I could hear my blood rushing through my veins.” “Quick, run! They’ll smell your blood!” “Hold on, you’re bleeding.” “Help me clean up. There’s blood everywhere.” “What did you think? That there wouldn’t be blood?” “I hope you have a strong stomach because there will be blood.” “I’ll make your blood run cold.” “Your blood isn’t even human.” “There’s no hiding from me. I can smell your blood.”

[doesntlovehumans]

starter call

as it states on the tin, you smash the like button (or reblog if sideblog) and I post you a para sized starter. wishlists will be consulted if available, OCs and crossovers with fandoms that accommodate vampire welcome.

[doesntlovehumans]

Won't be on much till after work today so keeping this active .

[doesntlovehumans]

.

[doesntlovehumans]

starter call

as it states on the tin, you smash the like button (or reblog if sideblog) and I post you a para sized starter. wishlists will be consulted if available, OCs and crossovers with fandoms that accommodate vampire welcome.