[romantictensions]

me at a job interview after finishing university

[mysticetus-deactivated20220221]

ATTENTION!!

thank you for your attention

[clubsprout]

how lucky do two people have to be in order to fall for each other at exactly the right time in exactly the right way

[sproutson]

inktober day 2: rover my boy

[la-sanfi]

[eroscestlavie]

him big

[princesstigerbelle]

Chocolate loaf

[shishkababoo-deactivated2018121]

pumpkin bread

[wuf]

get in

[homunculus-argument]

the universe: okay, you’re a human. I gave you free will and a conscious mind, so you’re free to do whatever you want. So what do you wanna do?

human: GO FAST

the universe: well, you’re a perfect pursuit predator but if that’s the way you want to evolve, go ahead.

human, climbing on a horse: GO FAST

the universe: wait what

human, inventing the carriage, the car and the bullet train: GO FASTER

the universe: I IMPLORE YOU TO STOP

human, trying to figure out lightspeed travel: FAS T ER

[abstractandedgyname]

human: 

THEORETICALLY MAXIMUM FAST

the universe:

[xss]

[heikala]

Inktober day 25, Grandma’s Cloak

[fullmemetalalchemist]

why was edward elric named the fullmetal alchemist, why not the punching alchemist, because by god did he punch some shit

edward elric, the dude who punched the gate of truth open just so he could yell a little longer at his little brother

edward elric, the dude who punched his own dad in the face, his dad, who’s kind of immortal

edward elric, the dude who punched God. like literally. straight up fucking decked him

[megapuddi64]

The Catch These Hands Alchemist

[ruinedchildhood]

[sexhaver]

hoW BiG is Ur dICk

one time the TSA pulled me aside for a private patdown because their scanner said it was a weapon. this isnt a joke post this actually happened

[sexhaver]

[sunclean]

i could be an animal crossing villager! i’m round. i wear the same shirt every day. and i am easily befriended when the other party does anything nice for me

[tamaharu]

*hitman dressed in dark clothes chasing me with a gun*

*cut to me, scared and running as “Karkalicious” plays in my earbuds*

[jake-clark]

[kaldicuct]

Actually, you can. Go masturbate. It releases more dopamine into your system.

[angelicbreadroll]

im constantly jacking off and i still want to die so science is lying to you

[5oil]

[nahimoffthis-deactivated2018091]

Could be us

[president-of-different-sense-de]