H-Hello!

Oh, um, hello! My name is Hitomi Suzuki! I-I'm a Hyper Sue-school Level Utaite! Nice to meet you! ...(Ahhh, I messed that up...) ((A roleplay blog for Doki Doki Despair Club!))

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

tacet al fine || Hitomi || Chapter 2 Body Reaction

Fujiki-kun?

...

Ahh. As she thought. There’s no way happy times could last, right? You see? She didn’t get her hopes up, and that’s why she’s not as hurt. It was good. Because now someone so precious to her won’t ever look her in the eye again. You see?

The weak-kneed crybaby Hitomi stands unmoving. Staring at the thing that was once Suzaku. He looks just like he’s sleeping.

Did it hurt? She wonde̼͖̲̱̻̞e̻̟e̙̝e̯̰͞e̫͖̪̭e͓̖̦̰͔͍e̡

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

She screams at the top of her lungs and can’t stop, collapsed on the ground, screaming, screaming-- and now, on the ground, completely out cold.

Oh dear. That’s not a very good reaction.

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

Poem Performance! || Hitomi || Chapter 2 Open

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

silencedskills‌:

Cain looks away as Hitomi reads his poem, a bit flustered at just up and showing her his poem, especially since it’s not something he’s terribly pleased with. His fret doesn’t show in any other way than avoiding eye contact, though.

He’s glad to hear that she likes it, though! Again, it doesn’t quite show, but, well, the feeling is there. “..Thank.. you,” he bows. “…I.. suppose I’m… somewhat fond of… the diction, as well…” Cain muses, moving to take his notebook back. He drops it, and just decides to leave it on the floor.

“Ah, the… lowercase.” If Cain was going to be honest with himself, he honestly just didn’t feel like writing in the capitals to make the poem grammatically coherent, but… He can come up with something on the spot. Sure. Yeah. 

“..It… represents softness… gentleness…” A pause. “Melancholy.” Another pause. “…But… art… relies not only… on intent, but… audience interpretation… as well.” Cain glances over at Hitomi, finally finding willingness to go for eye contact again. “…Do… you have… any… thoughts?”

... She still doesn’t entirely understand! That must be what makes it good!

I see! S-So, that means you’re a kind person, too, huh? Ah, I-I um, knew that, though, ehe...

Um, my thoughts... promise not to laugh?

Does Cain seriously look like the type of person to ever laugh out loud? Hitomi realizes that immediately after asking, and feels ridiculous. So, she clears her throat as if that’ll make them forget what she said.

... By “scar the windows of my soul,” i-it um, it makes me think of, like, blinding someone’s eyes... And, the next lines, “winter” and “cold,” i-it’s like... After that, it’s “heart?” It’s a letter off from “heat,” and that’s like... It... makes me think... it um, I imagine a selfish person, diving into somebody’s um, t-taking advantage of someone’s kindness, to warm themselves... An unhating, but unfair kinda song...

POEM. I mean poem I I’m so sorry--

She’s bowing.

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

Poem Performance! || Hitomi || Chapter 2 Open

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

silencedskills‌:

Cain feels nice having been able to make someone feel happier, but his attempt at a smile appears stilted, forced, and more than a bit awkward. So he stops ‘smiling’ near immediately.

He’ll just express himself out loud. “…I’m.. glad… your worries… are gone.” They reciprocate the bow. 

“There… is no need… to worry about… your art.. seeming like ‘you.’ Art… can reflect the artist… in a myriad.. of different ways.” He nods. “And… yes, that… does seem to be.. the case, regarding… more ‘upsetting’ content.”

They go to grab their notebook as quickly as they can, before returning with it in hand. Cain offers it to her, fumbling to open it up to the page with his most recent poem. “…I… don’t think… mine is too dark.. at least.” Saving reading it aloud for later, he simply displays the physical poem itself. 

it is your talent, it appears to scar the windows of my soul escaping your winter and the cold that surrounds you into my heart.

Finisan understands! Hitomi agrees, art can reflect all sorts of faces. She wonders if that’s why she likes music so much... But she’s talked too much about herself, so she shuts up. Right now is Finisan’s time to shine! He’s really volunteering to let her see this...! She’s blessed!

This is good...! It’s short, b-but good! I-I um, like how... I like the words. The um, the all lowercase, w-what does it... mean?

She changes her mind, she doesn’t understand art at all. Please explain.

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

Poem Performance! || Hitomi || Chapter 2 Open

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

silencedskills‌:

Cain had been listening quite intensely, not even blinking as Hitomi read aloud her poem. As she wrapped up, Cain lifted up a hand, ready to clap, before he faltered and sent his hand flying towards nothing. 

In any case, Cain was quite impressed with Hitomi’s reading, and the poem itself had a pleasing rhyme scheme as well as a surprisingly dark theme. It was difficult to miss how her eyes moved around in search of… praise? Or something similar, at least.

Well, Cain wasn’t one to deny anyone what they wanted, so they approached Hitomi as they finished. “…That… was really… good.” He nods in her direction as a show of respect. “…I’m… glad I… was able to… hear it.”

!!! Validation! Her lifeblood!

T-Thank you very much!

She bows.

T-Thank goodness...~ I can feel my worries melt away! W-Was um, worried it didn’t sound enough like “me?” But, looks like, um, everybody else, too, wrote some dark stuff this time? I’m glad... L-Looking forward to hearing yours, Finisan!

Even though they’ve been roommates for a while now, Hitomi still doesn’t know how to read them. Only thing she’s sure of is that Cain is a good person.

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

Poem Performance! || Hitomi || Chapter 2 Open

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

bubblegumreign‌:

Well that certainly didn’t end up like Eri expected. Though she didn’t really know how people would react to a slight show of a compliment. When Hitomi moved a bit closer to Eri’s seat, she stood up. 

“It was just a thumbs up and yet you’re acting like it was mad applause, what’s up with that?” 

That is not a poem, Eri-san. Whoops. Was she not supposed to do that? Hitomi scoots back away as if that will undo the major faux pas she just committed.

I-It’s, because, it’s Eri-san, l-like... I um... d-didn’t think anything would, would get Eri-san’s approval, s-so... S-Sorry!

Oh god she thought she passed a stat check but it was a predetermined event wasn’t it? She was just being polite! She would’ve given a thumbs up even if it sucked! Hitomi is a fool! An absolute buffoon!

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

Poem Performance! || Hitomi || Chapter 2 Open

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

bubblegumreign‌:

The first person to read their poem was Hitomi. Eri sat at her desk and listened to them quietly. It had an interesting title and tone to it, like something from Romeo and Juliet. 

Hitomi looked around like she wanted to be praised for her writing, Eri simply extended her arm and gave a quiet thumbs up. How supportive. 

Eri-san praised her...!

This is the greatest compliment!! This is more than Hitomi could have ever asked for. Eri-san of all people. She didn’t know this was even possible. She’s tearing up.

T-Thank you...

She sits down flushed with pride and scoots over slightly closer to Eri’s seat. Oh god. She thinks they’re friends now, doesn’t she? Oh no.

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

Poem Performance! || Hitomi || Chapter 2 Open

((TW: Suicide))

Hitomi’s been practicing this! She stands with her back straight and head held up high.

Um! Yes! This is my poem, and the title is... “Dark Reminiscence.”

Oh boy, that’s a promising title full of edge. She clears her throat.

Those two's love-lorn deuxicide Their valiant hearts were crucified Lives ended Unmended Left unmourned Never reborn Why? Sigh. This scratching scar's finality Shall we escape reality?

No stuttering and perfect enunciation. Pretty surprising from someone so shy. She looks proud of herself and her eyes swim across the room, seeking validation. Are you proud of her? Her and her poem about lover’s suicide?

[haplesshikikomori]

Sharing Is Not Caring | Open | Beth

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

haplesshikikomori:

Expression otherwise set in stone, Beth raised an eyebrow at Hitomi, shrugging softly in vague affirmation. Not like she had anything to lose from sharing with someone so… meek.

“’Kay. Let’s see it.”

Sliding her own poem closer to Hitomi, Bethany just shrugged off the other girl’s concerns. “You worry too much. Done is good enough for shit like poems. Art is subjective or whatever.”

Sounds… reassuring? GG Beth.

Hitomi hands her poem over to Beth. It seems to be a free verse narrative work about a girl talking to her mirror. Wow, how original. It’s not particularly bad, but it’s not good, either. So boring that it’s hard not to forget about it entirely after you put it down.

And her own reaction to Beth’s poem...

It’s so good...!

Of course she thinks it’s beautiful.

T-This is amazing! Esda-san! It heart me right in the hurt! This, t-this isn’t your first time writing, r-right? Like, a poem? Wow... It’s like, c-can’t even, can’t find the words to even compliment it...

High praises from a total normie.

[haplesshikikomori]

Sharing Is Not Caring | Open | Beth

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

haplesshikikomori:

Bethany was not satisfied with her work whatsoever. She was a venerable wordsmith, proud of her craft and able to structure compelling narratives for her games, but poetry? What a laugh. An absolute joke. She didn’t like putting out sub-par work, but she figured nobody would know the difference. It wasn’t like there were any English majors in the crowd. Although considering that her poem wasn’t even written in English, that line of thought was ultimately pointless. Her worst writing would look stellar next to that of some of her classmates, she was certain of it.

Even if she hated it, it wasn’t like she was going to try and write anything better. What she had was what she had.

The pale moon reflects upon a serene pool of water, Resplendent, beautiful, tangible and yet so fragile Like the wings of a butterfly that conjure calamitous storms, One slight disturbance shatters the fragile illusion Ripples are sent dancing across the surface As you reach out for what you sought after Thinking for but a moment that which captivated you so Was remotely within reach, tangible, accessible Yet so unattainable, so impossible, so far away As you find nothing but a broken mockery, Where the image of what you desired once lay Wondering if it you could have ever reached it at all

What a joke. A gaff. An utter disgrace to the sort of writing she normally put out. But whatever, it was just some stupid poem. As long as she didn’t show it to any of the guys, she’d probably be able to retain some of her credibility with them. They had to share poems, and maybe if she showed how much better she was at this than some of the other girls (you know, because she’s not like those other girls) they would understand to back off if there was to be any competition for certain affections. Gazing down at her paper with tired eyes and fidgeting idly with her pen, Beth sighed.

The literature club could be so exhausting sometimes.

H-Hey, um... wanna share poems?

Woo, looks like Hitomi finished writing hers in time after all! Hers seems to be shorter, and her sheet of paper is crumpled from how tightly she holds it. This is a sure victory for Beth already.

I’m um, a first year, s-so, not... not sure if it’s okay, but... P-Please read it!

Everyone here is a first year, Hitomi.

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

Discussion || Hitomi || Chapter 1 Open

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

shslconductor:

“Hm!? Oh yeah, it is!! I can hear every music note in my head when I read them! it’s so fun!! It’s like having a mini orchestra in my brain!” She giggled a little at the compliment and swished her shirt about. “Aww, thanks!! I learnt how to read sheet music in middle school!! Before then, I just kinda…guessed how the music went when I played instruments!? I got it right a lot of the time though!! But yeah, reading sheet music makes playing instruments and conducting SO MUCH EASIER!!” She gave a small nod at the other. “What about you Hitomi-chan!? Do you read much sheet music!?”

So this is how a genuine musician sounds! Hitomi is filled with admiration, and also Impostor’s Syndrome.

So cool...~ Iwasaki-san can both play and conduct, huh? S-Super! Really Super High School Leveled!

... Eh? M-Me? Um...

She hangs her head and anxiously plays with the end of her uniform’s scarf.

I-I dunno how, so, like, kinda wanted to ask, can you... doyouhaveany tips? A-Advice? Like, for...? Um?

If Iwasaki-san can sit still and learn to read, then so can she! Probably! She hopes!

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

Discussion || Hitomi || Chapter 1 Open

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

shslconductor:

Wakana was sitting happily in her chair, swinging her legs about and humming to herself. This was a pretty cool club! She listened as Hitomi mentioned her favourite types of literature. Soon, it seemed that it was supposed to be her turn to speak. Clearing her throat loudly, the conductor spoke up.

“"Wow, you read a lot of cool things Hitomi-chan! Let’s see…I don’t really read a lot! In fact, I kinda find reading a bit boring actually!! Buuuuuut I do like reading sheet music!! It’s fun to read all the notes and imagine what the music would sound like out loud!!”

Wakana began waving her hand in the air as if she was conducting. As she did, she continued to talk.

“Music can kinda be considered literature, can’t it?! I mean, you can read it like you read regular words! It’s just a bit different! I love reading music!!”

She gave a little nod before sitting back in her seat, a big smile on her face.

Hitomi’s interest is piqued in Wakana’s response, so she keeps that in mind while the rest of the class talks. Once everybody is free to chat amongst themselves rather than with the group, she slinks over and asks,

Hey, i-it’s like, like you can hear the music in your head when you read it, right? When you um, read sheet music... Like how you can see pictures in your head when reading... uh... regular... sheets?-- books, n-normal books? That’s really amazing~. Umm... How did you learn?

Isn’t Hitomi a music talent too.

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

Discussion || Hitomi || Chapter 1 Open

... Eh, m-me?

Hitomi knows that Monika said she wanted to get everybody involved, but she didn’t expect to actually have to talk during a meeting! Oh man oh god. Is she allowed to tap someone on the shoulder and walk out? Like in improv? Or wrestling? No? Oh no. She frets and tries to gather her thoughts.

M-Me, my thoughts, um... E-Ehh... I... haven’t read lots of b... or um, not a lot of novels... like, normal novels, b-but! There’s... web novels? And cellphone novels, I-I really like those. They’re like, instead of being published books, it’s, they’re uploaded piece by bit-- e-err, piece by piece, l-like... I think it was called “serial fiction?” Or something. Web novels, they’re... mostly amateur, and, not the first thing you think of when it comes to literature, but... they’re still literature, I think, since, you know, the writing can be amazing, a-and it’s not like all books are amazing, and it can be really long too a-and if it’s the serial thing, then, like, the Tale of Genji was, too, l-like, that was published one chapter at a time, just like fanfics, so--!

Before you get too proud of her for making a speech, she’s just re-recited from memory a “What I Like” essay she wrote in middle school. This is self-plagiarism.

... T... That’s my... experience with lit... N-Next...?

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

A Normal Morning, Nothing Is Wrong || Hitomi || Chapter 1 Open

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

iamboxchan:

   “A-Again! Y-You…really don’t have to be so, um…f-formal with me…” she’s kind of nervous now, actually. She was never good with people treating her so formally…

   “We’re….um…club mates! …so…we’re also friends…right? I-I’m sure…Monika-chan would…like that…” her head feels weird saying that name. It feels even weirder thinking about the others.

   “I’m sure they’ll be alright…th-they seem like reliable people…”

   She’s finishing up now. She ended up eating far more than she planned, but, like she said herself; it was just what she needed.

   “I, um…can’t thank you enough for the food, Hito-chan…”

Friends can still call friends “-san,” right? She’s been calling her online friend "Master” for the past two years. That’s normal, right? ... Right?

R-Right... Monika-chan is a good girl...

Sure, Hitomi has only known everybody here for less than 24 hours, but less than half the people here have called her stupid, so they’re good folks. She nods her head, then jerks straight up again at the words of thanks. Is that gratitude?? No, thank you!!!

I-It’s no problem! Really, I um, t-thanks for finishing it, wasn’t sure what toto do otherwise, s-so! I-It’s no prob. Glad it was okay! Um, be sure to eat, okay? ... I wonder if HPA sells bread in the cafeteria, too...

She gets distracted thinking about melonpan.

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

A Normal Morning, Nothing Is Wrong || Hitomi || Chapter 1 Open

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

iamboxchan:

   “I-It’s really good…!” there’s a sort of relaxed cheerfulness in her voice now. “I-It reminds me of…like…what you’d picture a mom making for her kids, aha…I-I guess I mean it’s…simple, but, just what I needed…!”

   Or it was mediocre and having not eaten a thing in so long. she couldn’t tell. Pretty sure it was that first bit, though!

   Box-chan eats a bit more as she thinks over what Hitomi had said. Wouldn’t it have been rude to wake the others up? Or are these circumstances different?

   “…I’m sure, um, that they’ll come…eventually? Maybe we’re just…early…”

Thank you so much.

Keigo again! This is the greatest compliment Hitomi has received on her cooking from anyone but her parents. She is now willing to die for Box-chan.

Y... Yeah... Probably... I um, I-I guess I’m just, like, not used to... dorms, and stuff... Hope they don’t miss cl̟̯̤a̮ss, at least?

What was that? Oh, nothing.

... How about you, Box-san?

san.

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

A Normal Morning, Nothing Is Wrong || Hitomi || Chapter 1 Open

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

iamboxchan:

   Ahh, she’s calming down…good, good…maybe things would be a little less awkward now.

   Except for eating. It’s difficult to slip chopsticks underneath her box. It takes a bit of focus and a lot of dexterity…

   “…hopefully…I haven’t seen a-anyone else though…” time to eat though! She thanks her fellow club member for the food and takes a little bite.

   Yum~

Hitomi nods, and then suddenly finds a new reason to get all wound up:

Oh no should I, w-was I supposed to wake up my moomm-- r-roommates, when, when I was... I dunno, this um, f-first time, rooming with... Wait, I-I guess, if that was normal, your roommates, too, would’ve, with you, huh...

She’s so easily accepting Box-chan as normal? Like she’s ignoring the box?? There’s a limit to being open-minded! She’s not even commenting on the chopsticks wiggling into the food hole! What she will comment on, though?

... I-Is it good?

There’s not really anything to complain about, but nothing particularly good about it, either, objectively speaking. She craves compliments nonetheless.

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

A Normal Morning, Nothing Is Wrong || Hitomi || Chapter 1 Open

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

iamboxchan:

   Oh whoa! That’s so much food! Hitomi wasn’t kidding when she said she made a lot! …also that’s way too polite for someone like her! She’s just a trashy box girl!

   Box-chan waves her hands frantically, unsure of how to handle all of this. It’s like being at a fancy hotel…you know just…with the threat of murders…

   “Y-YOU DON’T…H-HAVE TO BE SO FORMAL WITH ME, HITO-CHAN, PROMISE!! I-It was…just a little slip up…”

   She tries to catch her breathing, looking down at the food before her. Wah~

   “…I think we’re…both a little high-strung right now, huh…?”

BOX-SAMA IS TOO KIND TO HER. Hitomi resists the urge to whine like overheated machinery. It takes much effort.

Right! Right, right, r... right... Haa...

She hangs her head and avoids eye contact despite boxes not having eyes. Picking up her chopsticks again, she tries to pick the mood back up.

... Um... maybe... h-hope that, um, breakfast will calm everybody down? Us and the others... right?

... Oh fuck does she need to make breakfast for everyone else too.

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

A Normal Morning, Nothing Is Wrong || Hitomi || Chapter 1 Open

[dokidoki-hitomi-chan]

iamboxchan:

   While she was only going to eat the tiniest bit, it was still too weird to eat straight out of the girl’s own dish…but maybe she was okay with that? Box-chan sure wasn’t.

   How to say!? Without looking like a rude person! And turning away her food! THIS WAS WAY TOO STRESSFUL-

   “Um…th-thank you…! I-I just…um…I don’t think uh…I should eat…r-right from yours…you know?… N-N-…NOTHING AGAINST YOU!! IT JUST SEEMS UH!!”

   Pain.

Hitomi wishes the ground would swallow her up for breakfast right now.

I-I’LL! GO! GET! ANOTHERBOWLBYE--

And so she does. And without crying! She’s all grown up now. To make up for her arrogance, she’s given Box-chan an extra piece of tamagoyaki. Please Take It.

You have my most sincere apologies.

And suddenly she’s using ultra-archaic keigo??