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honeymoon·!

“Yes, don’t worry.” He smiled as he went back to their bedroom for a bit while waiting for the water to boil and the coffee machine do their magic. “Okay, but at least eat something as soon as we arrive in London?” he asked, flopping down on the bed next to her.

don’t worry, he said. -- alex rolled her eyes at this, thinking that he should know better than that by now. like a shark had to swim to survive, so did alex have to worry to stay afloat. especially about ian ( and even more so when planes were thrown into the mix. ) trying to take his advice for once, she took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself down. the girl turned to lie on her side, chewing on her bottom lip as she tried to figure out what to say next, -- who knew when ian would get tired of her anxious pestering? “... -- so, are you excited?” she asked decidedly, wanting to shift the conversation to the good parts of said trip.

#( &. honeymoon )#ok but like.. . .. . . .. . . .#i didnt even kno u responded rip

honeymoon !

“I’m sure, just gotta pack my toothbrush and then I have everything.” Ian nodded as he left their bedroom to go make their drinks. “Why do I not believe you?” he called out from the kitchen. “What about some bread? I could also toast it for you?” he continued. Ian knew that the day Alex would agree to eating something before they would travel, would probably never happen, but he would keep trying. “Breakfast is the most important part of the day you know,” he tried.

“are you positive?” the brunette resisted the overwhelming urge to check his suitcase and see if he was truly right, -- she wasn’t that crazy. or at least she hoped not. she rolled her eyes and flopped back on the bed with a huff, trying not to let her eyes flutter shut once more. “i’m not hungry,” she insisted, wincing when she heard her stomach growl and give away the truth. “i just want some coffee.”

#( &. honeymoon )#i got it and then immediately found a code to make a new xkit extension #and now everythings fine #god bless ppl who can code

honeymoon !

Wrapping an arm around Alex’ waist for a moment, he gave her a kiss on the head before watching her get out of bed to check her suitcase once more. They both knew that Alex had packed everything she needed but he gave up on trying to get her to stop checking a thousand times a long time ago. And Ian also soon learned that the phrase ‘even if you forget something you can just get it there’ didn’t help either.

“Our suitcases are packed and unless we take 2 hours each in the bathroom we’ll be fine.” he said, before being interrupted by a yawn. Stretching himself again, he picked up his phone again checking his texts as he got out of bed. “Atleast have some cereal?” he asked, looking up from his phone.

alex sighed, sitting back on the balls of her feet as she zipped the suitcase closed for what she hoped, but knew wouldn’t be the last time before they left. “are you sure you have everything?” she hedged, pulling herself up only to sit back down on the bed. she knew that ian had to think she was insane when it came to travel, -- if he didn’t think that 24/7. but she was, at the very least, thankful that he tried his very best not to make fun of her for it.

“i’ll just get something in the terminal,” she insisted, finally starting to wake up, -- most likely on account of the stress. “you know i don’t like to eat before travelling anyways.” the girl already felt sick to her stomach and she was sure that cereal wouldn’t help that situation, although ian attempted to insist that it would every time they so much as went out of town.

#( &. honeymoon )#it still hasnt hit me yet #im praying it never does bye

honeymoon !

Finding himself in his actual bed in his actual home, was rather rare these days. Although Ian obviously loved the fact that he had been able to turn his passion into his job, he couldn’t help but sometimes wish he had a normal job where he would be able to come home to the woman laying in bed next to him, everyday and not be away for most part of the year. He wasn’t going to complain though because this was his dream and he couldn’t see himself working in an office anyways. But he really loved days like this, where he could sleep for however long he wanted, and wake up to the most beautiful woman still sleeping right next to him. Today wasn’t one of those days though as Ian woke up to a phone blaring in his ears, screaming at him and Alex to get up and Alex wrapping her arm around himtelling him to get up and make coffe and tea. He just let out a disapproving groan. When the phone started to try to wake them again and Alex said something about blaming him if they were late, Ian finally grabbed next to him and put on his glasses, opening his eyes when he succeded. It took him a moment to remember why exactly they had to already get up today but when he did he let out a yawn and slowly sat up after giving Alex a kiss. “Good morning to you too. We won’t be late,” he yawned, running his hand through the mess that was his hair and took his phone checking the time. “Anything special you’d like for breakfast?” he put his phone back down, looking back at the brunette next to him smiling sleeply.

eyelids burning, alex followed suit and sat up. “don’t jinx it,” she whined, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and trying to force herself to stay awake. she swayed back and forth, still not nearly awake enough to sit up straight and leaned over, resting her head on ian’s shoulder and letting her eyelids flutter shut. -- it truly wasn’t even that early. seven was the normal wake up time for most people, but here she was: struggling to force herself out of bed.

“are we even gonna have time for that?” the brunette finally forced her legs over the side of the bed and somehow stumbled out. “maybe --” her words were interrupted by a yawn, “-- maybe we should just find something to eat there.” eyes barely cracked, the girl dropped to her knees to quadruple check that her meticulously packed suitcase was as perfect as it had been last night.

#( &. honeymoon )#im gonna have to find a new way to format my titles #since the new update isnt gonna have blockquotes anymore ://///#are they gonna get rid of the blockquotes even just for formatting too???????#bc thats a real fuckin pain ://///#also this gif dont rly fit but shes wearing her glasses so it fit close enough fam

honeymoon !

despite the fact that alex hadn’t lived with her parents for a couple of years now, -- between the first two years of school and breaks being spent with ian, she still couldn’t shake the feeling that this was all a dream. every time she woke up, she felt like she was still eighteen years old, about to open her eyes to the purple walls covered in photographs and cluttered close. but here she was, opening her eyes to floors covered in ian’s clothes and a bedside table adorned with another pair of glasses and phone to match hers. sure, she’d spent summers and winter breaks in the very same bed, tangled up under the same sheets, but something was different about this time. now, she didn’t have to worry about packing up her things to leave for north carolina again. -- now, she felt like the home she had found was permanent.

of course something had to interrupt the peace she’d finally found, cacophony slicing through her slumber. with a groan, the girl pressed snooze on the phone blaring in her ear. “s’your turn to make coffee ‘n tea,” she slurred, too tired to even crack open her weary eyes as she rolled over and wrapped an arm around ian’s waist, caught between wanting him to stay in bed for five minutes longer and kicking him out to make her coffee. soon enough the snooze button wore off and the second coming of the alarm rung out loudly, reminding alex that she still hadn’t triple checked her suitcase, -- traveling always seemed to exacerbate her type a behavior and anxiety.. without opening her eyes, she pulled on her glasses and shook ian once more. “if we’re late i’m blaming you,” she yawned, already beginning to fall asleep once more.

#( &. honeymoon )#ik they aint on they honeymoon #but they in the honeymoon phase of their relationship gtg :-)))))#also sry this is a rly shitty starter #nd the gif doesnt fit at all #but on the plus side i rly think this is me final gif aesthetic gbless

prom !

“I didn’t do any of this because ‘I wanted some broken addict’.” Ian started, frowning at the thought that this really was what she chose to think. “I have no idea why I did what I did, but it definitely wasn’t because of that. I started to feel something for him before I knew about the stuff he did…I just. I never wanted this and if I could change it I would. I never wanted something like this to happen.” he said, he wasn’t sure how many times he had said this already. “When I finally realized that what I did was fucked up, I wanted to leave, I wanted to leave and tell you but when I saw him about to-” he waved his hand a little. “I just couldn’t.” he said, running a hand through his hair. “I guess the whole thing did remind me of you and just like back then when you showed up at my door, I couldn’t just leave him like this.”

“stop!” the girl was sure she’d end up ripping all of her hair out if she had to hear him say that he didn’t know why he cheated or that he didn’t want this even one more time. “stop saying that! -- you know why you cheated. what i want to know is why you couldn’t tell me before, -- why you can’t tell me now.” alex had become accustomed to coming in last with everyone, -- family, friends. but never with ian. and god, did it sting to realize she was coming in last place with him now too. “when did i become an afterthought to you? -- why, if it reminded you of me, did you not think of me? did you tell him you loved him too? could you really not muster up the courage to tell me that you fucking replaced me?” even now, -- with her flimsy facade of anger, alex still found it easier to blame herself for all of this. it was far easier to hate herself than ian. “what did i do to make you stop loving me like i love you?” maybe if he shared the secret she’d find herself able to get over him too.

#( &. prom )#i will personally fight tumblr for u #actually #nvm #i will personally fight U!!!!!!!!!

prom !

Nodding, Ian looked down into his cup of tea for a moment. It really was the least he could do to tell her. “Uhm, do you remember Quinn’s son? Ryan?” he asked, not looking at Alex though. “It all kinda started when he came back to NY from wherever he was. I don’t know.” Ian sighed. “I- We started to kinda flirt with eachother and I don’t know why or how, this sounds horrible but it just happened?” he said, getting quieter to the end. “I started to get feelings for him too and I just didn’t get it because I loved you, and wanted to spend the rest of my life with you if you’d want it to, and I still do. But I started to feel something for him too and got scared. I don’t know, some day I visited him, not entirely sure anymore why, but I found him in his room doing drugs and we talked and suddenly he kissed me and I kissed him back and well.” Ian bit his lip. “I wanted to leave right away afterwards, and I did. Only going back when I noticed I forgotten my phone so I went back, and walked in on him about to, I’m not really sure what exactly it was he was about to take but it wasn’t good and-” he let out another sigh running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, I wanted to help him and after getting this reaction out of him when we slept with eachother and I left right after and told him this couldn’t happen again because I was with you and love you. I got worried I guess and like I said I wanted to help him and I started to have feelings for Ryan too and I knew it was wrong and completly selfish but-. I wanted to tell you but I knew I would loose you and I got scared.” he ended biting his lip.

as quickly as she had blurted out her demands of knowing what really happened, the girl wished she could’ve taken it back. -- but the words had already begun to pour from ian’s lips, superfluous and never-ending. alex didn’t want to know these things. not really. she had always been told that ignorance was bliss and now she knew it to be true firsthand. “so, what? i went and got myself fixed, -- for you. -- and you changed your mind and decided you still wanted some broken addict?” she had so much more to say. but as per the usual, she went with anger to mask the hurt that consumed her. why did it have to be ryan? why did quinn have to be right? had she really been losing ian since january? had she really been so blind to not even see it? how the hell could ian still sit here and tell her that he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her when he knew damn well that he had feelings for someone else? had the whole time she’d been sitting in some white-walled bedroom in upstate new york been a waste? had ian been talking to ryan while she was limited to thirty minutes of phone time for sixty days? how did she not realize that the person she was in love with was such a convincing actor? “that’s really fucked up.” at least she now had an exact moment she could pinpoint as the moment everything changed, -- the moment she lost the love of her life.

#( &. prom )#tybg for this tampermonkey script tbqh #also i lowkey cried writing this #shes tryin so hard to not look pathetic #but literally every single insecurity she had abt their relationship came to fruition :-)#i mean #do u think she was thinking abt herself in rehab?#do u think she was tryin to get better for herself #or even better the family she felt like she never belonged to?#nope #she did it all for ian #nd here he is #telling her that he chose some other lowlife addict over her

prom !

“I wanted to tell you.” Ian said. “But I was scared of losing you because I still love you. I mean I know that keeping it a secret didn’t really help, but I guess I just wanted to spend as much time as possible with you before it’d all end.” he bit his lip. “Which is completely selfish.”

the girl only nodded, not wanting to agree verbally. but he was right, -- it was far more than selfish, which before this would’ve never been a word she would’ve used for ian. in fact, before all of this had gone down, the first word she would’ve used to describe him would’ve been selfless. maybe that was the worst part of it all, -- the girl thought she knew ian. she was so sure of the person she’d invested all of herself in, only to be made a fool of. “i just don’t know how i could’ve been so stupid,” she laughed, a self-deprecating facade. “i’m not gonna be that idiot ever again, -- so i need you to tell me.” of course alex didn’t want to know the ugly details of the sordid affair, but maybe she’d be able to protect herself from the next guy to come along. -- besides, it’s not like anything could be worse than her imagination. “how long, why, when, -- who.” the last word trailed off into the humid breeze. as if she couldn’t tell who it was already. “you owe me that much.”

#( &. prom )#the gigi ones dont have any aesthetic #they just plain gif icons

prom !

“I understand that, and I’m not sure if I could just forgive you if it’d be the other way around. But, I’m sorry.” Ian said again, smiling a little although it didn’t reach his eyes.

“-- don’t be,” she inserted. although she didn’t think she’d ever have to feel this way, alex found herself resenting ian. despite this, she couldn’t look at him and just ignore the hurt flickering in his blue hues. “people’s feelings change. -- i don’t blame you for that. just for not caring enough to tell me about it.”