trying to disappear

transsexual boy-woman | my friend might fuck for a band

[doll-failure]

being a trans woman of color is incredible because "progressive" tme people will invoke my life and experiences to talk down to my white sisters as if they're uplifting me but when i try to speak with my own voice they pretend i dont exist

[doll-failure]

can white trans women be racist? of course. are they disproportionately racist compared to other sub-demographics of white people? not in my experience, no. my point with this post isn't to say that white trans women cannot be racist or should never be called out. instead, i hope it makes people question the motivations of some of these callouts. how genuine is the concern for poc when the one doing the callout is ignoring the voices of trans woc? it's obvious from where i stand that much of the concern about "racist trans women" is really a screen behind which pretty routine transphobia/transmisogyny is being hidden.

[doll-failure]

it amazes me how trans women will look up to, adore, and move mountains to show care and respect for cis women and then the average cis woman will vote her own rights away just to make sure trans women are raped in cages.

[doll-failure]

i think the girls that make those "pov u married for money" videos dont understand how good it feels to make one thousand dollars in thirty minutes on your back.

[doll-failure]

sex so good im calling him my ex's name

[msh2o2]

Is it possible for a daughter to reach adulthood without being sexually assaulted by her father? Experts say that the evidence remains inconclusive. "All the models suggest that it should be possible," one researcher claims, "but we haven't found any examples yet."

[doll-failure]

ive hit the tranny lottery yet my life is a living hell. if you are not a trans woman and you are reading this know that even at its best, living as a trans woman is a fate worse than death.

[doll-failure]

transitioning was a double edged sword because now im the most traditionally beautiful and feminine woman i know but i was treated with such mockery and disdain along the way that if a woman compliments me my first thought is "oh fuck something must be wrong with the way i look"

[trans-for-man-tion]

Is that man mansplaining

or are you misusing that phrase?

warning: i made this while annoyed and tired so feel free to correct it how you see fit

I have noticed a couple of people trying to use the word mansplaining to get trans men or trans masculine people to shut up about whatever topic it is they're discussing

and it made me realize that the word "mansplaining" has been bastardised into "a man that I dislike or disagree with talking about something"

[doll-failure]

im not interested in the guy that made this or making any statements about him specifically, but this flowchart does rub me wrong. it essentially says that behavior that is mansplaining cannot truly be mansplaining if the man in question would listen if told to stop or that he was not as knowledgable. I can see how it might be tempting for a man to frame a sort of wrongdoing as actually not bad if he would listen if asked to stop, but needing to ask someone to stop is part of why being mansplained to is annoying. Just because you would listen doesn't mean you didn't assume i didn't know something in the first place. my partner is a man and sometimes he sort of "mansplains" to me, and he's even better than the chart. He would listen and apologize if i just said the word "stop". I wouldn't need to calmly explain "actually I already know about X". I could curtly say "you interrupted me" and he would stop, apologize, and let me proceed because he is kind and respectful. That kind and respectful man also sometimes mansplains to me because he assumes I won't know something. That doesn't make him evil, but not being evil doesn't change the fact that he's a bit of a mansplainer. I'm no man, but for what it's worth, I think men should check themselves with more grace than using this flowchart would have them do. Just because you wouldn't bully a woman if she asked you to stop mansplaining does not mean you weren't. Besides, mansplaining is like kinda annoying at worst, so the stakes aren't really high here for men to be so defensive.

[doll-failure]

i cant really bring myself to care when a tme person gets harrassed out of a women's restroom for being assumed to be a trans woman. every time it happens its all "but im not a trannyyy!!" but you also want the trannies to shed tears for you?

[doll-failure]

my recent gender exploration has reinforced my perception that transsexuality is fundamentally different to transgender-ness and squeezing both concepts to fit inside the same word "transgender" renders it completely incoherent.

[doll-failure]

building off of this: my point is not that transsexuality and transgender-ness are not related nor that they do not often coexist. i don't think that being transgender is fake nor stupid nor inherently less serious than being transsex. what i do think is that our society is far more cissexist than transgender-phobic. by this I mean that our laws, social norms, and institutions are more concerned with the immutability of the social construct of "natural sex" than of the construct of "uniform gender". People (including queer and trans) are far less accepting of a change to sex than a change to gender. this is made clear by the attitudes amongst most cissexual people that sex cannot truly be changed. transgender people and their allies often repeat hackneyed phrases like: "no one is saying they can change sex just gender" or "biological man/woman". The trans community, which for better or worse i am a part of, has a massive cissexism problem, and having the words to describe it is the bare minimum for being able to address it. trans sexes are just as natural and legitimate as cis sexes. it is not disrespectful to be described as cissex(ual) or as transsex(ual). Flattening both concepts into "transgender" eliminates our ability to discuss these issues.

[doll-failure]

my recent gender exploration has reinforced my perception that transsexuality is fundamentally different to transgender-ness and squeezing both concepts to fit inside the same word "transgender" renders it completely incoherent.

[kayla-denker]

"A rising tide lifts all boats."

You fight for the rights of racialized trans women first and foremost, because they are the most marginalized out of all of us. That's the only way you get rights protected for white trans women, for non-binary people, for trans men, and yes even for cis women.

You cannot guarantee any of our rights if you try to deny the rights of racialized trans women. And I don't mean that as purely a moral statement, I mean you physically cannot do it. If you make allowances for one marginalized group to continue being oppressed, then you've left the door wide open for all of us to continue being oppressed. And the fascists will walk right through that door with ease every single time. Just look how they carved out exceptions to deny trans women bodily autonomy, which then led directly to abortion rights being overturned.

When the most threatened of us is left undefended we're all in danger.

[doll-failure]

i think cissexuals and especially transgender cissexuals need to get comfortable with being described as such. it reads exactly like cisgender people not liking being called cisgender or straight people not liking being called straight. it reeks of entitlement and insecurity.

transsexuals occupy far different social, economic, political, and medical positions to cissexual people. using this incredibly basic language is necessary to have meaningful discussions and exchange information about how to survive in our violently cissexist world.

[vexatiousvic]

I think you need to get comfortable with the fact that you don't get to decide what other people call themselves actually

Who are you, anyway?

[doll-failure]

you're treating 'cissexual' as though it is a descriptor of identity rather than social positionality

for example, if a white person can reject the label 'white' because they do not "call themselves that" it makes it harder for someone like me to describe racial disparities because the terms "white", "brown", and "black" become fluid terms that are opted into and out of.

in order to describe reality itself, the term 'cissexual' is needed to refer to those who do not change their sex just as 'transsexual' is needed to refer to those who do. this is the only way to communicate how these groups of people are treated differently

[doll-failure]

i think cissexuals and especially transgender cissexuals need to get comfortable with being described as such. it reads exactly like cisgender people not liking being called cisgender or straight people not liking being called straight. it reeks of entitlement and insecurity.

transsexuals occupy far different social, economic, political, and medical positions to cissexual people. using this incredibly basic language is necessary to have meaningful discussions and exchange information about how to survive in our violently cissexist world.

[vexatiousvic]

I think you need to get comfortable with the fact that you don't get to decide what other people call themselves actually

Who are you, anyway?

[doll-failure]

as someone who is both transsexual and experimenting with non-normative gender to find something that fits, it is so clear to me how changing my sex and changing my gender are two vastly different things.

changing my sex has opened me up to a world of social, legal, medical, and political forces which would never have touched me if i was cissexual yet still transgender. I wonder what it might take for cissexual people to understand that noting a difference is not the same as making a value judgement.

[doll-failure]

if you have shit to say about racist white trans women and nothing to say about racist asian cis women, i know what you are

[doll-failure]

white trans women are the least of my concerns when it comes to white people behaving badly, but some of you bitches are really stupid and need to shut up

[doll-failure]

i think cissexuals and especially transgender cissexuals need to get comfortable with being described as such. it reads exactly like cisgender people not liking being called cisgender or straight people not liking being called straight. it reeks of entitlement and insecurity.

transsexuals occupy far different social, economic, political, and medical positions to cissexual people. using this incredibly basic language is necessary to have meaningful discussions and exchange information about how to survive in our violently cissexist world.