Hi I'm Dona, my art is on the tag donadraws. I like to draw things that I nerd out about and keep improving on my art. I hope that I can meet fellow people and maybe friends that will appreciate my art and the things I love. My art is accessible with the tag donadraws. Instagram: dona_draws Twitter: DonaDraws
They've taken too many activities for too many years and bottled things up one too many times, the stress of it all has finally catched up to them, not to mention her struggles with identity and unsafe coping mechanisms. I think I'm gonna write a fanfic about the three of them soon.
Also, the clothes annie is wearing are traditional mexican clothes. The dress is a poorly drawn huipil, the shirt is a guayabera.
Fourteen-year-old Shan Fang is in her most emotionally intense period.
When she first arrived in Golden Grove at age ten, the entirely unfamiliar foreign surroundings filled her with deep panic. Initially, she kept a noticeable distance from Qiu Lin and Tamarack, even harbouring faint resistance toward them. Still, the pair’s warm, outgoing personalities gradually coaxed Shan Fang out of her shell. She grew closer to Qiu Lin first partly out of rational calculation: Qiu Lin shares similar East Asian features, carries the easy poise of someone raised locally, and naturally commands central attention among peers. Shan Fang once believed devoting extra attention to them would bring her more benefits. This motive faded long afterwards, however.
By fourteen, Shan Fang has grown mild-mannered and well-spoken. She always knows how to treat others with thoughtful propriety, making every conversation partner feel comfortable. Though not as eye-catching as Qiu Lin, her calm and gentle aura draws plenty of people eager to open up to her. Aside from her two neighbours, barely anyone notices how much deliberate scheming lies beneath her considerate demeanour.
Shan Fang’s personality stems from her family background. Born via special conception methods, a circumstance extremely rare within China, she has constantly felt alienated from those around her. She cannot empathise with the trivial affection shared between two-parent households and their children, nor comprehend the distinctive, profound and intricate kinship ties of Asian families.
Frequent job transfers of her mother meant Shan Fang never stayed within the same social circle or resided in one house for more than a year before turning ten. This nomadic lifestyle robbed her of the ability to build a sense of belonging toward any place or possession, leaving her unable to trust anyone besides her mother.
She yearns for company and detests loneliness, yet fears the collapse of intimate bonds. Every relationship and stable status quo feels like walking a tightrope; one tiny misstep could trigger total ruin. This persistent pressure hangs over adolescent Shan Fang like a suspended sharp blade. To avoid abandonment, preserve her public persona and earn acceptance, she is willing to mould herself into whatever another person desires.
During Step 2, Shan Fang seems flawless. She achieves outstanding academic results, treats everyone amiably, and maintains unnervingly stable emotions. Only she knows that beneath the defensive shell which shields her while shutting others out resides overwhelming, suffocating adoration for the people she holds dear. Deprived of a solid sense of self, Shan Fang can no longer tell her genuine likes and dislikes. Her replies shift to cater to whoever poses the question, or she simply mimics Qiu Lin and Tamarack.
Even after six years of living in Golden Grove, once her mother confirmed there would be no more relocation, jagged fragments of anxiety still weigh heavy on Shan Fang’s mind. She dares not let her guard down, for her current peaceful life feels too precious. She cannot bear to suffer abandonment ever again, and has internalised a belief: the only way to avoid being discarded is to become irreplaceable to others. Hence she remains perpetually on edge, meticulously maintaining all stability around her.
She values her two best friends above her own life. Phrases such as “I cannot live without you” are not dramatic idle outbursts. Tamarack is her kindred sister. Both relocated from afar, grew up amid unstable family conditions and are of the same age. The moment Shan Fang met Tamarack, she resolved to make them her dearest best friend. Her feelings for Qiu Lin fall into a completely different category. What she labelled as “love at first sight” and “utter infatuation” was essentially her search for a vessel to pour romantic longing into; the individual mattered less than having someone to fixate on. She projected all of her understandings of romance onto Qiu Lin, vowing that they would forever be the secret crush who makes her heart flutter.
From their first encounter, Shan Fang labelled the two neighbours privately in her mind. She upholds these relationships rigidly following social norms with extreme precision and restraint, much like the formulaic polished answers she gives when asked about personal preferences. Only she can judge the authenticity and true nature of her deep affection.
Shan Fang cannot fully define what exactly she feels for Qiu Lin. Every time she watches them surrounded by crowds of admirers, rage threatens to consume her. This scenario repeats daily across six years. As she matures, she no longer displays her temper outwardly, and raw irritation curdles into dark possessiveness. To secure legitimate reasons to stay by Qiu Lin’s side, Shan Fang picked up numerous hobbies she holds little personal interest in but knows they love, including ballet.
Beneath this seemingly innocent companionship, the fourteen-year-old Shan Fang commits many underhanded deeds. She feigns minor ailments regularly to gain Qiu Lin’s sympathy, takes charge of nearly every trivial errand in their daily life, and tells countless gentle lies to sustain her docile, reliant image. She memorises nearly all of their preferences, routines and habits with near-obsessive attention. She has even mapped out an imaginary route climbing along exterior walls to sneak to their bedroom window (an idea she will never put into practice). If Qiu Lin ever uncovers her hidden schemes, Shan Fang would only smile softly and explain: I do all this simply because I care about you so deeply.
If a faint hazy veil always lingers between Shan Fang and Qiu Lin, slowly seeping into both of their lives, her bond with Tamarack is built on heartfelt mutual understanding. There is no romantic tension between them, only warm moments reminiscent of a heated oven and crisp autumn wind carrying bread fragrance — these are Shan Fang’s most relaxed, blissful hours.
Due to their similar life trajectories, the pair can voice their true inner thoughts candidly and perceive each other’s insecurities without lengthy explanations. Even within this most relaxed friendship, Shan Fang instinctively shapes her personality to match Tamarack’s ideal version of her, though putting on this facade requires almost no effort. This is why years later, when drafting her Ego Project, she lists the version of herself that stays alongside Tamarack as one viable persona.
Though this friendship appears healthy on the surface, it relies on Tamarack having few other close acquaintances. Should Vianca or anyone else constantly make plans to take Tamarack away, Shan Fang will reveal a frightening side.
Fights between her two best friends rank among the rare situations that leave Shan Fang helpless. She cannot afford to lose either one; the departure of either would shatter the fragile mental balance she has built. She bends over backwards to satisfy both parties’ demands and carefully keeps the peace between them. If forced to pick one side, she records every single choice and alternates picks evenly to treat both fairly.
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