It hurt to see him in a state like this. It physically hurt her. Why?
It⊠shouldnât be like this. She had no objections in seeing Nevalle exhausted, irritated, furious, exasperated â and if she was a reason for those particular emotions, it was filling her with a despiteful sense of satisfaction. But⊠but looking at him now, crying⊠defeated⊠alone⊠brokenâŠ
It wasnât right. It wasnât right, by the all gods!
Not to mention, despite his words, she didnât feel like a winner. If anything, a terrible, dreadful feeling of guilt started to creep up on her somewhere from the very depths of her mind. Was this⊠No, it couldnât be, she didnât do anythingâŠ
I couldnât do anything that bad! Itâs not⊠Not possibâŠ
No, it isnât my fault! she practically screamed internally. IT ISNâT!
But the feeling stayed and didnât want to go away.
She bit her lower lip and fixed her gaze on the floor. She thought it would hurt less if she didnât look at him but to no avail. The sound of his quiet weeping was filling the room and in the silence that fell between them this cry was so loud she was still hearing it even more clearly than before. Or maybe it was only her bardic hearing, trained to listen to even the quietest sounds?
What she should do? What she should say? She couldnât leave him alone now, that much she was sure. He shouldnât be alone now.
âSo you tell me to leave a wounded soldier alone on the battlefield? Come on,â she said quietly, her own voice calm and tired. It had no hostility or usual cockiness in it. Just grief. She finally gathered the strength to look at him again and she raised her head. âCompletely not my style, Iâm afraid. I do not abandon injured,â and with those words she put a hand on Nevalleâs arm and squeezed it. Reassuringly.
Or, at least, she hoped it came off as a reassuring gesture.
âIt matters. You matter. To me. Right now.â