oozey mess
shark vs the universe
blake kathryn
JBB: An Artblog!
No title available
🪼
$LAYYYTER
ojovivo
Show & Tell
todays bird
Product Placement
Peter Solarz
cherry valley forever
#extradirty
@theartofmadeline
Cosimo Galluzzi
we're not kids anymore.
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
pixel skylines
Janaina Medeiros
seen from Philippines
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United Arab Emirates
seen from Germany
seen from Australia
seen from Peru
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from Philippines
seen from Japan
seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
@donghaeismybae
Hi guys! It's been a while since I posted something from this account. I would like to be active again because my baby (lol), Donghae, is back! The both of us have grown matured now. I'm already in uni while he just finished his military service. It feels good to be here again. I would just like to say: Welcome back, Donghae!
Confessions of an EX-SM Trainee
So, yes I was an SM Trainee. There are a few things you need to know about me before I get to all the goodies. I am a boy, I am 22 years old, I am Japanese-America, I trained for 5 years (sadly) and I never got to debut. I studied Korean in my high school and got to the third year in the language and my school had found some sort of program which would allow for students to kind of study abroad, but it was more of a Summer kind of thing so it wasn’t really.. idk, kind of hard to explain but that’s not the point~ So a bunch of students including me went into this program and we actually got in. Since the program was based off of a more CLASS type of thang, the two Korean teachers at my high school came along with us to South Korea. This all happened in the summer of 2007. We stayed in SK from the end of June to the beginning of August and obviously we had some free time, actually A LOT of free time. I have always been into singing and dancing and especially KPOP, that kind of triggered me into taking Korean Class and my host brother was really into KPOP too, but he just listened to it, he didn’t really much dance or sing to it. One day we talked about our hobbies and whatnot, getting to know each other and he told me to sing for him and I did and right after he told me to audition for SM, which was literally just a couple blocks from his house. So I got all EXCITED~~~ It was a weekly audition, before I actually went down to audition, we had to call in and schedule and fill out applications and whatnot. It wasn’t until like mid-July when I actually got confirmed for an audition. I went down to the little audition building (it wasn’t the actual SM building, it was like a miniature SM building, they have more than one SM building, this wasnt the main one though) and there wasn’t as many people as I had expected, maybe about 30 of us, probably not even. It was like a normal high school class size. We all waited patiently to go in to audition and while in line everyone stayed quiet, I was expecting people to be rehearsing and whatnot but no one was doing that. It was extremely awkward and quiet. All of this also took place INSIDE the building, we waited on the first floor, where it was quiet and they played some SM Artist stuff on a TV and we just sat everywhere. Someone would come down the stairs and call a name and whoever it was would follow. The youngest person I saw there was probably a little boy who was like .. maybe roughly 13 or 14, the oldest looking was a tall, skinny girl who looked about 21ish. I waited about 30 minutes when they finally called my name. My first name is an American name but my last name is very much Japanese. As soon as they called my name everyone turned and looked at me, their eyes wide and confused. I was like “okay then…” I went and auditioned, sung my heart out cause singing is my specialty. The judges smiled and nodded and they asked me in English “How long have you been singing?”, “Were you born in Japan?” and that’s really all I could really remember.. After I answered, I left the room. I was bummed out because I felt like I didn’t leave a good impression on them.. I was so sure I didn’t get in and continued on with life. Apparently after like four days(?) I got a call from one of the SM judges and they told me they wanted to see more of me and that there would be another audition. I went and got through, another audition, went and got through. There are three rounds. I passed all of them. It was like almost August when they finally pulled out the contract and explained EVERYTHING to me, they made sure I knew what I was getting myself into and that I was sure about doing this. I signed it with no hesitation. Since I was a foreigner and it would be my Senior year in High School, SM told me to continue in America and when it would be breaks, I would come back to SK and train. Also at least three times a month, I would receive vocal and dance lessons over Skype, it was kind of funny. I finally graduated from HS and I was now an official trainee in SK. I really wanted to go to College, but SM didn’t cover that, it was my own kind of decisions. I decided maybe not to go to college (biggest mistake). Now this gets more interesting. I began to do intense training. At SM there are different levels for every category, the categories are Singing, Dancing, Acting, Rapping, Language (English, Japanese, Chinese (Korean for foreigners)) and instruments. There are levels 1 through 6. Lvl 1 being NOVICE and Lvl 6 being EXPERT. For me, when I first entered, my stats were Singing: 3, Dancing: 2, Acting: 1, Rapping: 1, Language: Korean-1, Japanese-3, English-6, Instrumental: Saxophone-3. SM encouraged us to focus only on our mains but never to forget about the other ones, so I only stuck to singing, dancing and language, brushing the others to the side. There wasn’t a day when I didn’t train. Intense vocal training in the morning till about lunch, then Dance practice from then on until about Dinner, then after that you do whatever you want. I mostly just focused on my singing and dancing. There were probably a total of like.. 40 trainees.. But I could be wrong.. All varying from like ages 8 to 25 … Trainee life really is harsh, but very rewarding. I was considered a bigger size, not HUGE, but bigger, and once I quit being a trainee, I was considered SKINNY… LOL, kind of funny. I was put in an international dorm, which was a little bogus, but I was okay with it, preferred to be with everyone else but oh well. I shared a dorm with two others, they were both Chinese. As trainees we are encouraged to train at least six times a week, but SM doesn’t really have control over us. Whoever wants to train is welcome to do so, those who are not as driven aren’t pushed to doing so. Basically you have all the freedom in the world but that depends if you want to work hard or not. Some trainees I saw like once a week. Some I saw every single day. Most of the time, those who trained EVERY day or most of them, were the ones who debuted. Actually I wasn’t bullied for not being Korean, there are a lot of scenarios where you are and whatever, but it really depends on how you portray BULLYING. I mean, duh, I was looked at as a waste or energy or whatever because it is KOREAN pop, but that wasnt BULLYING. It all came down to how determined I was, that’s what determines my drive for being something in the KPOP world. There were cliques, YES. I didn’t revolve myself around anyone in specific but I was pretty close to some trainees. We are encouraged to not become close with anyone because, ya know, we might not even debut with them. You would expect some trainees to have entered SM just to get close with idols, but nahhh, that was BARELY the case. At first, I was very excited to meet BoA, Super Junior, etc. but once we were in the company, they were just like everyone else, they weren’t seen as stars anymore.. And YES, there was INTENSE competition, but even that doesn’t mean you are set for debut. There were some RUDE and arrogant trainees but when the reps and staffs came around their personalities CHANGED. Training made me realize how .. ahem.. scripted and ‘fake’ the kpop world can be.. BUT, of course the staffs and reps are in on it as well, they know who’s mean and who isn’t and most of the time, the nice ones get to debut. At the end of the day it all depends on your drive, determination and character. SM has like four buildings I think..?? One is for the trainees, one is for the artists and the others is just for staffs, representatives, etc. for business purposes. I was ALWAYS at the trainee building, duh. I was only at one of the business buildings for financial issues such as our weekly allowances ($25 a week). Trainees only ever went to the Artist building when we had showcases, which were monthly and it was an evaluation of how much trainees improved and whatnot. Many trainees were sent home because of showcases. I, surprisingly made it farrr .. not to be conceited.. NOW on to your favorite, the idols.. Like I said, they aren’t all that after entering the company.. They’re just as human as everyone else. They didn’t come around the Trainee building much, but they were always at the Artist building. Whenever we had showcases, the only idols who ever came to watch were Yunho, BoA, Eunhyuk, Donghae, Tiffany, Sunny, Onew and a couple others. I’d say the MOST DOWN TO EARTH idols were most definitely Tiffany, Luna, Yunho and Amber. I personally don’t consider the EXO members idols because I kind of went through everything with them, just didn’t know them personally. The SNSD members barely ever came around, the one I saw most was probably Sunny, she is probably my favorite member after getting to know a little bit of SNSD. They came around and the only ones that ever greeted us were Sunny, Tiffany, Taeyeon and Yoona, the others would walk right pass us. They gave short encouragements, telling us to not give up and they would end it there. From what I saw, what they portray on screen definitely isn’t fake. The Super Junior members didn’t really interact a lot with trainees.. Eunhyuk talked to a lot of the girl trainees though and Shindong is only funny with the older people, he isn’t really much goofy with the younger kids. I say Luna is the most down to earth because even though she debuted already, she still talks to fellow trainees and she comes by a lot to encourage us to not give up. Krystal isn’t a snob, but she’s been called that so many times, she just kind of stopped trying, but she is really nice, she comes to the showcases sometimes and always encourages all of us to do well. Amber is most definitely a tom boy, a lot of people say it’s SM’s doings but no, it really isn’t. The initial thing was to make Amber girly, it didn’t work, so they switched up the concept of f(x), having a tom boy. She is a tom boy but she has a very caring soul. I’d say she is the idol a lot of foreigners can relate to most, for she is an outcast, being Chinese and a tomboy, etc. She speaks up for a lot of trainees who are being outcasted and when f(x) comes around to check up on trainees, she tries to include outcasted trainees in some things, like maybe dance warm-ups, she would always bring them up to the front when they always stand at the back all shy and stuff. I didn’t see much of SHINee, when I did, they always looked SERIOUS and like focused.. They’re the serious idols, they really aren’t that down to earth, from what I saw. Now, onto EXO.. Since I trained for 5 years, you’d expect me to have been a line-up member, right? Well no.. sadly. I mean one of the managers brought it up to me and told me to work extremely hard, this was in 2010, when the ‘New Boy Group’ rumor was spreading throughout trainees. We all began to work EXTRA hard, but I wasn’t even chosen to be a POTENTIAL member.. The EXO members weren’t that close at first, obviously.. I’d say that my favorite members, after getting to know them through TRAINING, would have to be Suho, Baekhyun and Lay. Suho, being trained for 7 years, he never gave up and he lacked a lot in singing back in 2008, when I first entered. I was like ..why is he here.. then I saw his face and I was like Oh.. But yeah, Suho is VERY hardworking and he is very popular amongst trainees, as in like he is friends with a lot of them. He is very down to earth and yes he is a crybaby. He cries every time something dramatic happens to him that lets him get closer to his dreams. He cried when he was confirmed an EXO member. Baekhyun, you’d expect him to be cocky and whatever, being trained for only 1 year, but you are all wrong, he already had an amazing voice when he entered SM, but his dancing was okay. He worked extremely hard to improve his dancing AND singing and his personality was already on point, so he was already at a 4th year trainee level. Lay is a super nice guy, he always smiles and tries to bring laughter to everyone. Like I said, I didn’t know these guys personally, but who wouldn’t know who the popular guys were? The EXO members come around just a little and when they do, they aren’t as lively. Chanyeol is way different off-screen. He knows that he’s cute, so he’s a bit cocky and not too much a great guy. Kai is short-tempered, that’s just what I heard, so the EXO members don’t talk to him off-screen, the only one who does is Chen, but Chen talks to all the members. I heard that if something seems to be going wrong OR needs to be done, the reps and staffs DEMAND the artists to do something about it. Chanbaek was created through staffs, because they knew that every group needs an OTP in order to gain a lot of popularity, so the one with the VOICE and the one with the MAD INSTRUMENT SKILLS was put together. It is very scripted, indeed.. After EXO debuted, the question of me still being in SM while I was 21 came to be questioned.. SM was probably not going to be ever debuting another boy group any time soon and I was right. My manager talked to me and said that reps discussed that the New Girl Group (GE7) would debut in 2014 and another boy group would have to settle for 2016, I’d already be like 26 .. I evaluated all my goals and I realized that what I had been doing all this time was just a waste of my time.. I was looked upon as just an extra and I didn’t even have a chance. The KPOP world is definitely HARD and it you’re not a stand out, then don’t try. I left SM in April 2013, when my contract with SM ended. I went home and right now I am working and hoping to go to College in the fall. My manager still calls me once in awhile just to check if I need anything or just to talk. It is quite sad, but you know, all you can do is learn from things like this. Oh and also, I got a call from a rep from CCM and they want me in as a trainee and I just shook my head like NO and declined.. Really..? Uhh.. no, after all the controversy.. This is all I have to say.. Sorry for it being so long.. I hope this helped OR just was enjoyable.. Thanks for reading :))
South and North Korea traded fire yesterday, but instead of worrying about the citizens that could have possibly been in the crossfire and the people in the military risking their lives to protect their family and country, all you fucking kpop fans have to say is “I hope oppa gets out of there” “I hope my oppa is safe” or “oppa don’t die ㅠㅠ” you all don’t give a shit about S. Korea. You only give a shit about the corrupted entertainment industry it breeds.
When your ahjussis are too professional to do the pictorial in 2 seconds
[NEWS] Super Junior’s Leeteuk and Girl’s Day Minah Kiss in an Attempt to Fool Hyeri
In MBC‘s Lunar New Year special program “Candid Shot Battle,” Super Junior‘s Leeteuk attempts to be the king of the candid camera by partnering up with Girl’s Day‘s Minah to fool fellow member Hyeri.
Leeteuk pretends to have come all the day to Hong Kong to meet Minah to talk about going public with their relationship as they have been captured together by reporters.
Leeteuk and Minah act with all their might to try to fool Hyeri, even kissing in front of her. They even had the help of fellow singer K.Will.
Spoiler ahead:
However, it turns out Hyeri knew exactly what was going on and was actually the one putting on a show, fooling everyone else.
Watch clips of the prank below.
Source: kookje.co.kr & Soompi
A week later: SJ Leeteuk and Girl's Day Minah is dating FOR REAL
Things are moving pretty fast for me now.
NOTE: I used Yesung as his real name in this story since not everybody knows him as Kim Jongwoon (I guess). It’s been five years since I was dating K-POP Superstar Yesung. We knew each other since we were kids. Our mothers were workmates. I hated him at first because he was a total brat; I loath brats until now. To be fair, he hated me as well. He said I was too boyish and rude. My blood still boils whenever I remember the day he told me those. Actually, He was involved to almost all of my worst childhood memories. He did some evil things such as giving me a spicy hot chocolate, putting a dead rat inside me bag, and the list goes on. Yeah, he hated me like that. One day, my mom told me an astounding news about Yesung. He had a contract with one of the best entertainment companies in Korea. I was kind of surprised because I didn’t expect that somebody would be interested to cast him. He became busier and busier as time passed by. I saw it with my very own eyes. I wouldn't want to be like him; it was more than difficult. I thought it was the end of our “hate”-ship, but fate was really playing with us. He became even closer to my family because his favorite cousin got married to my sister. Nothing has changed with the way we treated each other. Like before, I were close to beating him up when I thought he was too much with all his mockery, and he would just laugh it off. Yes, that’s right. Nothing had really changed except for one thing. He became a man. I just found myself falling for him. I didn’t know how or when. I jotted down all of the things I hated about him, but I realized that all of those things actually made me like him. I didn’t like the feeling but I couldn’t do anything about it. I kept that “Everything I Hate About Kim FREAKING Yesung” list of mine so I could add more. I badly wanted to un-like him or whatever everybody calls it. It was Yesung’s cousin and your sister’s fifth wedding anniversary celebration that night. It wasn’t chilly but I was cold and I didn't know why. Ah, of course, it's because of him. Curse him for being so weighty to me! I ignored him the time I saw him entering my sister and his cousin’s house. He did the same. I was not sure if he forgot about me or he intentionally disregarded my presence. Either way, it still broke my poor, stupid heart. I sat somewhere nice and comfy; somewhere no one would bother me. “Hey, lesbo” Yesung suddenly came out of nowhere and slapped my head while drinking Soju. Everything poured down inside my bag. Great, now all of my things (including me) smells like an alcoholic, homeless man! “Shit! What a jerk!” I exclaimed. He laughed, “Sorry, I ain't sorry.” I chose to clean up in the garden so I could cuss freely. I removed all of my things out of my bag and let them dry. “How dare him!” I said. I was totally annoyed but I couldn't deny that it made me swoon a little bit. Still, fuck him. While I was finally putting my things back, I suddenly saw a hand grabbing some of my things. Before I could even react, he was already gone. That jerk. Again! I saw him running upstairs so I immediately followed him. The situation was getting lighter for me until I realized that the notebook where I wrote my “Everything I Hate About Kim FREAKING Yesung” was with him! I saw that the door of the master’s bedroom was open. He must be there. I gotta be fast before he sees the weird stuffs I wrote! My heart felt like it dropped when I saw Yesung reading everything. Not just that, he was reading it aloud! “Everything I hate about Kim freaking Yesung…” “Stop it!” “He looks like a mouse and a rabbit combined!” “I said stop that!” “He sings like a dying eel. Whatever!” He only cares about his looks! He's the Korean version of that narcissistic guy who hugged his reflection on the water! I won't be surprised if that happens to him." I just stood there while listening to him. How lucky, now he knows. Note the fucking sarcasm. “Lastly, I hate him because all of these things made me like him…” “Now give me that,” I took the notebook from his hand and walked out. He called my name a few times while running after me but I ignored him. I locked myself inside the bathroom. After what happened, we couldn’t see each other’s faces anymore. It would be the death of me. He repeatedly knocked on the door violently. “Damn you. Why don’t you just give up?!” I whispered. “I… I want to pee!” He yelled. I knew he was lying. “Sweetie, come out! Yesung honey wants to pee!” My mother exclaimed while she was gently knocking on the door. I slowly opened the motherfreaking door and walked past by them. I didn'’t have the guts to look at him. “Hey, I appreciate your fan letter but—“ “Yeah, whatever. Shut up.” I was about to walk out but he called my name. “Now what?" "Everything I hate about you..." He said loudly. Everybody’s attention are now diverted to us. "Yesung! Keep your voice low!" I said. "You act like a lesbian. You're stupid, insane, weird, and undeniably dumb. I hated people like you, but... you were different from anybody else." You are the one who made me realize that we should see people for who they are and not to describe them for who they are not." You little fool, listen carefully because I'm not asking this twice. Will you be that 0.01% that would complete my 99.9%?" “Excuse me?!” I asked. “I'm not asking twice!” "Dammit!" Then everybody suddenly started shouting for joy. I had this little memory lane because of boredom and annoyance. He told me to wait on the parking lot of their concert venue because somebody might see us together if I'm gonna stay inside. How dare he make me wait alone on our 5th anniversary? What a jerk. He had just been discharged from his military service but he hasn’t changed at all! While I was impatiently waiting for him, somebody suddenly grabbed me on my mouth and covered my whole face. I felt my body weaken but my mind still knew that I was in danger. I wanted to scream but I could not even speak. Kim Yesung, don’t you ever go to my funeral! I woke up when somebody poked my head really hard. I didn’t see his face because it was too dark. I heard a few chitchats above me. Something was not right. I know I was not in heaven yet because I still have the hype to kill Yesung for causing this. “Hello?” I called as I stood up but nobody answered. The floor I was stepping on suddenly moved upward. “What the fuck?!” I yelled. I almost lost my balance, who wouldn’t yell? The floor stopped. Not even a split second, sapphire blue lights were flying everywhere. People started screaming too. It took a moment before I realized that I was in the middle of a concert stage! “Okay, so… what the heck, Kim Yesung?” Now I'm annoyed for real. After making me wait for hours, he’ll embarrass me in front of their fans? (Now playing: Super Junior – Marry U) Someone turned on the lights and the music suddenly played. I heard someone rapping. I couldn't see him but I'm sure it was Eunhyuk. I heard Sungmin’s voice. I saw him walking up the stage. He went to me and handed me a black rose. He bowed to me and so I did the same. The next one was Ryeowook. He gave me a voodoo doll and a wink. I just laughed at him. Thank goodness Yesung wasn’t here, he could’ve beaten him up for winking at me. That guy is darn possessive. Kangin came from my back to surprise me. He gave me a box of dark chocolates, the ones that are from France. These have no sweetness at all. Kyuhyun walked to me and gave me a pair of boxing gloves. This one’s weird. Why would he give me this? Now it was Donghae’s turn to go up the stage. I almost fangirl-ed like the other girls. I liked him most in Super Junior, that’s why Yesung was always jealous of him. He said that he should be my bias because he’s my boyfriend but I declined. I came back to my senses when Donghae handed me a toy rat. He laughed as I raised my left eyebrow to him. I still like him anyway. The fans roared when Siwon got up. He showed his charming smile. I smiled back at him. He gave me a bottle of Soju which made everything weirder. “What the heck is happening here?” I asked him but he just smiled. Leeteuk came from my left side. He gave me a pic of Donghae and Yesung hugging. Leeteuk laughed when my eyes widened. Damn that Yesung! He’s really the one behind these stuff! Eunhyuk walked up the stage smiling. He was holding a notebook. My heart stiffened when I saw that the notebook he was holding was the notebook where I wrote my “Everything I Hate About Kim FREAKING Yesung” list. That notebook was with Yesung since we were together. Now I really want to kill that guy for spilling my secrets! How embarrassing! Almost all of Yesung’s part had been taken over by the other members. I am so ready to beat him up but I can’t find him anywhere. I wanted to scream his name but stones were stuck in my throat. My heart was extremely pounding. Thousands of people were looking at me. Thanks to Yesung, I won’t be able to walk on the streets starting a while ago. I heard Yesung singing ten lines before the song ends. I looked around to search for him. I didn’t see him until he hugs me from behind. I jumped in shock. Whew, I almost lost your cool! Lucky Yesung we were both on the stage so I couldn't slap him or whatever. “Bastard,” I mouthed. He just smiled widely. He sings the last part as he leans in front of me. The scene quickly intensifies. I just can’t breathe in nervousness. “Will you marry me now?” I was about to say yes when the last word he said suddenly dived on me. “Now? Hey, jerk, don’t pull a prank on me, not here!” I snapped, almost freaking out. He removed his mic, “I wasn’t joking. Yes, I’ll marry you. In this time, in this place, and in front of these people,” He said seriously. I can just barely hear everything he said because of the ear-destroying screams but it sank on my head like a coin dropped in the water. “Aren’t you ready yet—“ “Damn you, shithead!” I said, pulling him up. I grabbed him and kissed him. Everybody screamed even louder. “Who would say yes to you?!” “An idiot like you,” He kissed me again. Tears began to fall. Everything that’s happening is just like a dream. “I’m willing to be an idiot forever if it means staying by your side.” I said while hugging him tightly. He loosened our hug and cupped my cheeks instead. He was crying too. We were looking in each other’s eyes. I was still not in my senses. I can’t grasp that finally, I'm all his and he’s all mine. "I am now complete, Mrs. Kim.” "So am I."
I was once the luckiest girl in the world.
Not everyone can meet a guy who texts his girl endlessly day and night, cooks good food for his one and only even nobody tells him to, or picks his beloved up to go on a date on a normal day to make it a memorable one. To meet a guy like that was every girl’s dream.
I met Sungmin when I was in middle school. He was in the music club while I was a member of the Volleyball team. It started when I accidentally hit him with my ball, and the rest is history.
Sungmin called me one day during my Math class. I had to answer it secretly because I didn’t want to decline his call. He asked me out for a quick date because his free time is only until noon. Being a trainee of one of the best entertainment companies in Korea, he needs to oblige every single rule they set.
I’ve decided to make an excuse to ditch all my classes that day. The two of us met on a convenience store near SMEnt’s training building. I saw him waiting for me while he was happily drinking his favorite soda. He was kind of weird today; his smile was wider than usual. I didn’t think of it too much. I know he was that jolly pumpkin that becomes happier and happier everyday.
“I’m in,” He told me with a big smile after sitting in front of him.
“In where?” I asked.
“SM’s new batch of rookies to debut. I received a call from them last night and they finally spilled the great news!” I can see that he was almost teary. He stood up and hugged me tight.
“I’m so, so, so proud of you!” I said, hugging him back. “Good job!”
He kissed my hand which made my heart flutter, “I did it for you.”
I narrowed your eyebrows. “Do you have anyone else to—“
“Oh, none! Definitely none!” He hugged me even tighter, making it hard for me to breathe.
“S-Sung-m-min, I can’t b-brea-the!” I exclaimed.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” He stopped hugging me and cupped my cheeks instead. “Why are you so cute?”
“Because my pumpkin is.” I planted a kiss on his right cheek. I just can’t help it, he was so adorable that I’d die.
“I love you,” He said, hugging me again.
“I love you even more.” I said, hugging him back.
Even if I didn’t act like a crazy-ass proud girlfriend in front of him, God knows I am. It was his dream to become a singer ever since. In middle school, he told me every single day that he wants to become a famous artist. If ever that happens, he would buy me anything I want from his first income.
I was that happy stage girlfriend from the day he started. I always watched his group’s videos, TV appearances, and other activities. I get kind of jealous when other girls scream for him, but it was his job to make every girl in Korea swoon so I have nothing to worry about.
But as time passed by, something was not utterly right. He started slipping away. I was not sure if I was just being selfish but it felt like he already placed me last in his priorities. It had been just two years but it already felt like a century. We can’t do the usual things we used to do. His sweet, long messages were now just short and plain. He can’t even visit me in my house. He said that it was too dangerous for him because somebody might see the two of us together. They weren’t allowed to date publicly that time.
I wanted to understand him but I just couldn’t take it anymore. He has changed and that fact sucks. Yes, it was sad but true.
I visited their concert one night without him knowing. I called someone so I could go backstage. The other members saw and greeted me. They knew who I was to Sungmin, of course.
I saw Sungmin inside their dressing room but I didn’t bother approach him because somebody might see me. Well, curse anyone who’ll see me.
“Why don’t you go inside? No one will tell the press, anyway. Everyone in here is cooperative. Go now,” Siwon said, but I chose not to. It would be better if he will see me after the concert instead. Tonight, I will tell him everything I have in mind. I took a deep breath and prayed that everything would turn out fine.
My knees felt like it was going to lose its strength when I finally heard them saying their ending speeches. I was more than ready a while ago, but I felt different now. I almost forgot what to tell him. Sungmin’s friends and him walked down from the stage yelling in joy. I immediately stood up from the chair and walked to him. He was kind of surprised I was there.
“It’s already late, love. Why are you still here?” He asked.
“We need to talk.” I answered immediately before my voice broke.
The two of us entered a room secretly. He sat on a chair and bowed his head in exhaust. “Why are you here again?”
“Wow, I can see that you’re damn happy because I came.” I said in a sarcastic tone.
He tilted his head and looked at me and asked, “Is there a problem?”
“Go and ask yourself.”
“What did I do?”
“Nothing.”
“Then why are you mad?”
“Because you were literally doing nothing!” I finally snapped. “It feels like you’re already slipping away!” My voice finally broke. I hated the situation the two of us were in. I hated the way I talked to him but I might go insane if you wouldn’t let it out.
“Slipping away? I already told you that my job wasn’t as easy as you were expecting. You even swore to understand me!”
Tears finally fell when he shouted at me. It was the first time that this happened. I was convincing myself that an evil spirit had just possessed his body. The Sungmin that I know was not like that. My boyfriend was a perfect guy.
“I just want you to make time for me because I feel like I’m being left behind already!” You shouted back.
I expected him to hug me and apologize quickly but he didn’t. He just looked at me plainly while I was whining in front of him. I wanted the old Sungmin back. Back to when he was the Sungmin who did everything for me not because he just felt obliged but because it was his will. Back to that innocent pumpkin I could always beat up without getting him at his boiling point.
“Choose.” I finally told him.
“So that’s what you really want me to do?” He retorted.
I almost dropped my bag on the floor. I didn’t see that one coming from him.
“Y-yes.” I said, crying even harder.
“Don’t ask for my answer. I’m telling you.” He said before walking past by me.
I went home crying that night. My whole body was as pained as my heart. Breaking up would be the last thing I could ever imagined happening to us. It was more than painful. It felt like I stabbed myself with a sharp knife. I wished that it wasn’t the end yet. I didn’t want to lose him. I could never live without him.
I waited for his call for a few weeks but I haven’t received anything from him. I’ve decided to reach him in every way that I can but there was no response. I visited their dorm for a few times but they were always not around.
I just found myself being one of a hundred sasaengs enduringly waiting in front of their idols’ dorm. I looked at myself differently among those girls but Sungmin didn’t even notice I was there.
It was kind of hard, but I still patiently waited for him. Maybe he was just too busy. Maybe he didn’t have enough space inside his head for any more things. Maybe he didn’t have the time for other things but his job.
But I wanted to make up with him.
He became different now. Their group became successful locally and internationally; their songs are slowly taking over the world. I know that even he has been more known than the president of South Korea, he’d still come back to me. We had a promise. I tried not to miss every news about him. I couldn’t, because maybe, just maybe, I was in for a surprise.
One fine autumn day, year two thousand and fourteen, I was busy making a strawberry cake for my niece’s birthday when something in the news caught my attention. “Sungmin, from the internationally-acclaimed boy group Super Junior, admits relationship and engagement with actress Kim Sa-eun. The two has been reported to tie the knot on December 13 this year.”
The wedding will only be open for their family and closest friends.”
I literally dropped the plate I was holding. It broke into pieces like my soul. I tried to calm myself. I didn’t want to believe it was true.
That’s right, everything’s just a joke. He can’t get married because he’s still mine. We didn’t break up formally, right? He was just pulling a prank on me because he missed me a lot and this is his new way of surprising me.
I looked at the television again. I saw Sungmin’s clear face. He was now matured and formal; very far from the Sungmin I knew, the pumpkin who had always loved no one else but me.
He looked like he was talking to me.
“Hello, this is Sungmin. I met a good person. And on December 13, I will get married. I’m sorry for everyone who was hurt by this news. I want to say thank you for everyone who supported me. Please continue to love not only me, but SJ as well. I will not leave anyone behind. This is just the beginning of everything.”
I was once the luckiest girl in the world.
But without him, I wouldn’t be. Ever again.
Fanfics
Since I don’t know what else to post, I’ll be posting 2AM fanfics from my personal *insert a famous online stories site here* account. Please tell me what you think about it!
© mesmerized by ryeong’s beauty >.< 2/2
Accept the fact, Ryeong. You are pretty.
kimheenim: How’s my Spanish?!🙈🙈🙈🙈 #delicious #myqueen #hurray #hello #exciting #OK #SPAIN (cr)
160130 Music Core - Ryeowook’s solo debut stage - The Little Prince
YO GO MY CHILD
Okay, my fandom. ELF. (c) (c)
160121 [OFFICIAL] Ryeowook first solo album “The Little Prince” Teaser Images [Pt.3]
Ryeowook has released three new teaser photos for his upcoming solo album ‘The Little Prince’. One of the teasers is another illustration, while the other two are portraits. [1] [2] [3]
Congratulations Kyuhyun for winning the digital Bonsang at 30th GDA 2016 proud of you!!!! ♡♡♡
no suju label vs. suju label
