Can we pretend that it's still April 1st ok thanksss HAPPY BIRTHDAY USOPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111 AND DOROHEDORO DAY TODAY AUGHHHHHHHHHHHH
en dorohedoro needs to count his fucking days for having a large beautiful fem husband with cool powers who loves him and he repays that by locking him in a cage in the attic. en is straight as fuck and should die
I didn't have time to write anything for Usopp's birthday this year, so here's a sneak peek (or deleted scene) from an Usopp-centric WIP I've been working on. Enjoy!
Nami reminds the crew that they’ll be coming upon a new island within the hour. After the meal, Usopp joins everyone up by the helm as the navigator hands out assignments while Jimbei guides the Sunny toward their latest destination.
“Okay, everyone, listen up! I’ll double-check with the islanders, but it should take about three or four days for our log pose to reset. Either way, we’ve got some time to kill. I want to make sure that we restock all of our necessities while we can, so that’s what we’ll be doing today. I’ve split us up into three groups for shopping: Sanji, Luffy, and Franky; me, Robin, and Chopper; and Jimbei, Brook, and Usopp. Zoro’s staying on the ship because we don’t have time for babysitting today. Collect all the things on your list, stay within your budget, and don’t be afraid to haggle! You'd better make sure you get the best deals, or you’ll have to answer to me. Everyone should be back on the ship before dinner. If you want to go back on land after that, feel free.”
The crew voice their assent, except for Luffy, who is pouting with his arms crossed as he side-eyes Nami. “Sometimes it feels like you’re more of the captain than me,” he grumbles.
“It’s not my fault you don’t have a responsible bone in your body. But maybe I should be the captain,” she teases. “I do have to admit that The Nami Pirates sounds pretty good.” She grabs Luffy’s hat and places it on her head, grinning at him as he glares at her.
“I’ll be a member of the Nami Pirates!” Sanji swoons. “Let me be your first mate, Nami-swan!”
Luffy stomps his foot in upset. “No way! You’re all my crew! Give that back! Namiiiiii!”
The straw hat is snatched from Nami’s head, but not by Luffy. The duo look over at Robin, who has used her Devil Fruit power to produce an arm that grabs the hat and places it on her own head. “The Robin Pirates has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
“YOW! I’d join that crew in a heartbeat!” Franky raves.
“Me, too!” Sanji declares with a twirl.
“Mutiny!” Luffy cries in outrage. “This is mutiny! Zoroooo, tell them they’re not allowed to form their own crews!”
Zoro looks at him, a sly smile taking over his face as he starts to speak. “Dunno, Luffy. I’ve heard good things about a certain Captain Usopp. Been thinkin’ of joining his crew.”
Usopp jumps and looks at the swordsman in pleased surprise. He can’t even think of a response before Chopper is gleefully flinging himself into the sniper’s arms.
“Captain Usopp!” the reindeer cheers.
“I’d join that crew,” Robin titters, and the coveted straw hat is placed atop Usopp’s bandana-clad curls.
“Being an Usopp Pirate sounds SUPER!”
“Sounds kind of appealing,” Nami grins.
“Anywhere Nami and Robin go, I’ll follow,” Sanji sings. “He’d be a less high-maintenance captain than Luffy, at least.”
“Usopp? Not high maintenance?”
“I said less. And that’s only ‘cause he doesn’t eat as much as the rubber idiot.”
An indignant Luffy rounds on Usopp, jumping onto his back and taking back his hat before pounding his fists into the marksman’s head. “Usopp, you bastard! Stop stealing my crew!”
“Ow! Stop! It’s not my fault that powerful pirates flock to me seeking my wisdom, strength, and guidance!” He looks up at his pouting friend and gives him a reassuring smile.
“Don’t worry, Luffy, Captain Usopp is not only great, but he is gracious as well. You may retain your crew in its entirety, and we shall continue to be named the Straw Hat Pirates. Besides, I’m already co-captain of this crew, which means that all of you have always been Usopp Pirates, anyway.”
The rest of the crew grins. “Can’t argue with that.”
“No more mutiny! Let’s go explore!” Luffy leaps down onto the deck, rolling around in the grass with a cheer.
“Exploring comes later, Luffy! Shopping first, you idiot! Franky, Sanji, you’d better keep him in line!”
“You can count on me, Nami-dear!”
“You got it, Nami-sis!”
While the rest of the crew follow Luffy down to the deck, Usopp stays up by the helm with Jimbei, and so does Brook.
Usopp watches with awe as Jimbei expertly maneuvers the ship to an alcove jutting from the island. In the short time that Jimbei’s been on the crew, Usopp has come to really appreciate the way the helmsman handles the Sunny. He dominates the waves in a different way than Nami or Franky, and steers the ship with an ease that Usopp could never hope to achieve. He and Brook ooh and aah at his impressive manoeuvring, making the fishman laugh. When Jimbei gives Zoro the a-okay to drop anchor, Luffy is off like a rocket, ready to begin his next adventure. Sanji chases after him with a curse and Franky with a laugh, and the others begin to depart from the ship at a more leisurely pace.
“Shall we go, gentlemen?” Brook inquires with a tip of his cane.
Absolutely love offering these candies to my friends and watching them find ways to reject the offer like parents trying to avoid eating straight up dirt their kids "cooked"
WIP - I'm considering doing a short comic with them…
(7 pages and SFW) There's nothing about them. NOTHING.
So someone has to roll up their sleeves, and that someone, apparently, is me.
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