I don't use tumblr other than a place to post writings. It'll be anything from poetry, stories, rants about video games, hype about the NBA, I dunno man. I frankly don't know how you even got here.
I spend a fair bit of time thinking about death, so much so I see us as on familiar terms. We've had our fair share of unexpected meetings, out in public or private, and we've even had a few dates that I've always flaked out on. They've assured me they don't hold any of them against me, but I've always worried our relationship has been a bit one-sided.
Death really wants to hang out more, to have a better relationship, and I'm lucky to have such a caring friend, I am. But there's just something about them that causes me to pull away.
Maybe it's their attitude, the circles they hang out in, those times I've encountered them unexpectedly and how they usually end negatively.
Am I the weird one?
I've never tried to cut Death out of my life, in fact much the opposite. I'm the one calling them, I'm always trying to schedule times to meet up, and Death has always gone out of their way to make themselves available. Wednesday after classes in the bathroom? Sure thing, I'll be there. Sunday at 2 am in my bedroom? Wouldn't miss it for the world. Each and every time I've always found some new excuse, different people to hang out with, new relationships, a busy work schedule, or even just ghosting them entirely.
I'm thinking it's time to make this friendship more reciprocal. It's the least I could do for them, after how many times they've dropped everything to be there for me.
I don't like to talk about this with just anyone, but I've had a lot of turmoil around my gender presentation the last few years of my life. It's actually a sore subject that Death's been happy to hear me out about. I've found more comfort and trust in confiding these struggles with Death than anyone else I know, to tell the truth. Maybe it would be a great way to strengthen our relationship and make it up to Death by directly making them a part of my so-called gender journey. Maybe this time I can finally let Death in, embrace them, the way I've wanted to for so many years, yet always reluctantly pulled away.
I've let Death know I'd love to see them this weekend. I promised them this wouldn't be like all those other times, and as always they told me the apology wasn't necessary and they'd be there for me, no matter what. I'm not sure what will come from this or how it'll change me, but I know this is something I need to do. They're my closest friend, the keeper of my secrets. I owe them this much, and who knows? Maybe they'll have some great advice on what I can do with my old identity and how to fit my new one.
Well, the night before my first official “high risk” mission is as good as time as any to start a diary.
I say “high risk”- even though I haven’t been here long I’ve come to learn nearly every mission is “high risk”. I’m not sure why we even bother with the label at this point. Maybe it’s just some kind of hold-out from when this was more of a war and less “everything is fucked and almost everybody is dead”.
It’s not worth getting pessimistic right now. I’ve already abandoned every last remnant of my old life to join this fight, and now the day has come that they’re ready to throw whatever life I have left away to further the cause. Colin McIntyre told me “the trick is to not die.” I know he’s not one to make jokes, but cmon. What kind of advice is that?
Well, McIntyre is going with me on this mission so maybe I’ll get to see that advice in action. When you’ve got somebody high-ranking like him along on the mission, it can mean either two things. Either they really don’t care about my life and are using me as fodder to keep him alive, or they really care about my life and he’s my de facto bodyguard. I really hope it’s the latter.
Command said I’ve got incredible training, endurance and aptitude, and that’s why they let me join without any formal training or past experience in war, but how am I supposed to believe that? How am I supposed to believe I’ll actually have a chance?
-
Well, I’m writing from the carrier now. This is it. Hopefully you aren’t reading this, or if you are it’s because we won the war and the whole journal is being published in some museum or something. That’d be pretty cool.
Claudia Neumann is mocking me for keeping a journal, but I can tell she’s just as nervous as I am. This is her first mission too. We’re close to touchdown. I guess we’ll find out which one of us is the fodder.
-
I thought I was ready for this. I guess I am, but it sure doesn’t feel like it. Command said we got lucky, this was a lightly-guarded objective and we didn’t meet much resistance. It didn’t feel like we got lucky.
Romero got caught by surprise. If it was anybody else, they’d be dead for sure. I thought he might bleed out on the carrier back, but he told me this is “just par for the course.”
I guess I understand what McIntyre meant. With Romero injured, Neumann and I were ready to hunker down and stick to what cover we could find. McIntyre would just. charge in there! He didn’t give a fuck! And the aliens didn’t know how to handle him either. Guess the only way to take ‘em down is head-on.
They say that I’ll likely get put on the next mission with Romero too banged up to go. Guess I was just too good. But it’s what I signed up for.
Yvonne, signing off.
-
3/13/2035
Sent with McIntyre on a mission to meet with the Reapers, some wacked-out faction that supposedly is going to help our mission. Everything about this screams bad news, but they really are willing to send only me and McIntyre to meet with our target? I guess I got my answer. XCOM has a lot of faith in me, we’ll see if I live up to it. Here’s hoping the Reaper doesn’t kill us both.
-
I don’t know what the hell a “chosen” is, but I don’t think I could get much more fucked up than I was on today’s mission. Some giant invisible alien stabbed me. And I LIVED! I kicked ass! Command is promoting me again, they’re saying I’m one of the most valuable soldiers we’ve got. Even McIntyre said I ‘held up out there’.
Can we talk about McIntyre for a second? That guy is insane. In the last 3 missions he’s recorded 28 kills. When I thought my life was about to end, the guy runs up to that Chosen and fucking stabs it back! He might be the only reason why I’m still alive, now that I think about it. I’ll have to buy him a drink one of these days. If we keep getting paired up like this, at least I’ll know I’m out there with somebody who’s really got my back. I just hope I’m capable enough to do the same for him.
Oh, and it’s not rookie anymore. You’re reading the journal of Corporal Yvonne Garcia.
And now for a fanfiction about Daisy in Mario Tennis idk
She felt as though she had been using the last of her energy for a lifetime at this point. Daisy bent down to grab the tennis ball, a routine motion that felt much more grueling than ever before. As she rose back to full height, her eyes caught a glance of the scoreboard. 40-40 deuce once again.
Checking the score broke one of her biggest superstitions. Daisy was known for her seemingly carefree attitude, a posture she consciously imposed. Checking the score destroyed that posture. All that matters is winning, no matter where the game’s currently at.
This game was different. Her opponent was Wario, the loudmouth who had an uncanny backswing. Nobody’d gotten more aces on Daisy than him. Nobody’d held out against Daisy as long as him.
For better or worse, Daisy hadn’t faced any opponent as tough as Wario in this tournament. What had been an easy 2-0 breeze in the brackets was suddenly a nightmarish 1-1 set/ 2-1 game/ 40-40 duel.
On the outside it might’ve looked like Daisy still had the advantage, or at least that’s what Daisy wanted people to believe. She focused on her stride, carrying herself as tall as she could despite how hard each step became. Her face betrayed her; the iconic smirk she was known for was now more like grimace.
Seeing she had only managed to score back into a deuce, how she still needed to score two times in a row to take the championship, was debilitating. Should she lose the game to Wario and tie 2-2, it’d be back to the tiebreaker. The same way she lost the first set.
Wario’s serve was too deadly. Too powerful. Too unpredictable. Where her mind was normally focused and precise now was thoroughly scrambled, far too messy to return his serves and take the trophy.
This deuce was her last shot. Win this, or lose.
These thoughts raced through Daisy’s mind as she strutted back to the line to prepare her next serve.
As she finally crossed the painted line, Daisy turned, once again facing her opponent. For one who wore a mask full of braggadocio, Wario’s mask seemed to have fallen, replaced with an expression of exhaustion and doubt. He seemingly made no effort to hide the strain, or if any effort was present it wasn’t enough to notice.
This was all Daisy needed. A familiar grin crept across her face.
Daisy once more raised her bracket behind her, bent her knees, and held the yellow ball of fuzz in front of her.
She knew she’d only need to perform this serve two more times.
A video in which I blame a videogame for my lack of character growth. Thanks for giving any attention to this video. I've wanted to put actual effort into a ...
Hi this is a change of pace but I made a short essay on why I want Breath of the Wild 2 to just absolutely ruin me by the time I finish it hope u enjoy <3
Oxygen was falling fast. Half the ship was on fire. The cockpit was almost utterly destroyed.
And the rebels were charging for one last volley of shots to put the Kestrel out of its misery.
They had travelled across galaxies. Repaired their ship back from bits. They'd made it back to Federation HQ in perfect condition, documents in hand that would turn the tables on this war once and for all, and done it all without losing a single crew member.
Captain Malott, engineer Maxim, and gunner Scott. A bare-bones infiltration squad who'd done the impossible. They would have been heroes, known for centuries to come. Maybe even their two extra crewmen, the rebel-turncoat Pipaluk and the robot-for-hire Engi (nicknamed Debbie), would be remembered.
But all those accomplishments and commendations were about to be scorched away.
The Federation was in far worse shape than when the Kestrel embarked on their mission. Holding off the rebel attacks had taken a toll on the once-great force. "You've proven to be the best-manned ship we have," the President of the Federation Force told Malott, "and our last hope."
The rebels must have known those documents would end the war, responding with an all-out attack led by the flagship. After what the Kestrel had done to make it back to HQ alive, Malott knew there'd be no surrender available.
"Yes, Mr. President. We'll take the flagship down.”
~~~
The flagship was a beast unlike any of the ships they’d seen on their travels. Guns, turrets, shields, teleporters; if the operating system existed, it was installed on this flagship. But beyond the sheer quantity of weapons, the systems were more advanced than anything they’d seen. Lasers that pierced through shields. 4 missiles launching alongside a volley of 7 laser shots. Infiltration drones. A Zoltan shield near-impossible to break through.
So much for that hope.
Despite this imposing threat, the Kestrel and it’s crew were ready.
Scott charged every weapon quicker than anybody Malott had ever seen, and fired with precision to the same degree. With just the right timing, he could pierce through the flagship’s shields with a volley of laser bursts and follow-up with pike beams to rip apart their systems.
Debbie kept shields up and brought them back online almost immediately after being knocked offline, keeping any attacks at bay. If any were to break through, Pipaluk would be there to get things back in working order and return to her station on surveillance. She had the arduous duty of raising cloaks and targeting systems for Scott to attack.
As for Maxim, Malott knew if he gave an order to divert power to part of the engine or take the ship in a different direction Maxim would carry the order out to the exact specification.
If any Federation ship would be able to take down the flagship, it’d be the Kestrel.
~~~
The Kestrel had taken some damage, but the flagship was in shambles. Victory was almost at hand, but just as soon as the crew thought it was over, the flagship escaped. The rebels had already tried this tactic once, heading straight for the Federation base in a desperate attack before being cut off by the Kestrel. This time, they retreated back to an ally beacon.
“We’ve got no choice,” Malott said to his crew. “If we chase after them the rest of the rebel fleet will tear us apart. It’s too risky to venture into open space searching for a repair depot, either.”
“Captain, if we don’t take down that flagship the rebels will converge on our position and take us out,” said Pipaluk.
“If we give chase we’ll rush straight into a rebel fleet and save them the trouble. Now, just like the flagship is too much for any other Federation ship to handle, we’re too much for any but the flagship. We wouldn’t be here right now if that wasn’t the case.”
“So it’s a war of attrition?” asked Maxim.
“No. They know what’s on those documents will get out and spread across the galaxies. They don’t have the benefit of time being on their side. No, they’ll make as many repairs as they can manage and come back to finish the job.”
“And if their repairs are too much for us to overcome?”
“Then, Maxim, it will have been a privilege being your captain.”
“...Aye. And a privilege for I to serve you.”
The ship was filled with silence for the first time since this last stand began. Between the fight for survival and rapid repairs, there wasn’t time for rest. Now that rest seemed more like a burden.
Pipaluk spoke up. “Captain, it’s looking like your hunch was right. Scanners are showing the flagship moving our way.”
“Acknowledged. Everyone, man your stations. We’re bringing this war to an end.”
~~~
The rebel flagship and her forces fought with a desperation unlike any they’d ever seen. Where once there were simple EMP drones launched to disable weapons, now there were soldiers. Where once there was defensive turrets, now there were breaching security drones. Where once there was defense, now there was offense.
The Kestrel was being hammered. First the cloaking went down. Then, the weapons were under fire. Pipaluk, Debbie and Scott fought off intruders and attempted to repair as much as they could, but the barrage was relentless.
“Scott! Man the guns!” Malott ordered.
“Aye sir! Weapons firing!”
The burst was strong enough to break through their shields, but not at full power. The system was still damaged from an earlier attack, which meant the best they could do is damage the flagship once more before bracing for the next wave of shots.
“They’re too heavily damaged, we need more time,” Debbie responded.
“There is no time!” Malott grimaced. “Everyone, stay on your current posts! Scott, get those weapons recharged!”
“Aye sir!”
The flagship fired everything they had. 4 missiles, an attack drone, 5 laser bursts.
“Maxim! Full power left engines!”
The Kestrel spun, narrowly dodging a missile and two lasers, not being so lucky with the other 7 shots fired towards them.
The drone burst through the oxygen supply, beginning the slow suffocation of the ship. The missiles and lasers took out medbay and shields. Fire was spreading in the sub-compartment connected to the cockpit. Malott prepared to issue orders to the crew, but was interrupted by a crash followed by an explosion on the other side of the room.
~~~
“Malott! Malott, do you read me?” Scott shouted over intercom.
Malott was in the pilot seat a second ago. That is, the second before a missile burst through the roof exploding on the opposite end of the cockpit.
From his view on the floor, Malott was surprised he wasn’t already dead. Oxygen was falling fast. Half the ship was on fire. The cockpit was almost utterly destroyed.
And the rebels were charging for one last volley of shots to put the Kestrel out of its misery.
Dazed and coughing, Malott reached up to his intercom. “The cockpit’s taken heavy damages with fire spreading fast!”
“Right, I’m on my way!” responded Pipaluk.
“No! We need our shields up now! Maxim, Pipaluk, Debbie, get to shields! Scott, keep those weapons charging and get to oxygen!”
“Aye sir, I’m on it!” Scott said.
Malott reached for his extinguisher but the fire was overwhelming.
“Captain! Surveillance is down!” Pipaluk shouted.
In between coughs, Malott asked, “Another volley?”
“No, it must be damages from the fire!”
Too many damages. Fire spreading too fast. The Kestrel isn’t making it out of this mess. But neither can the flagship.
Rushing through burning room after burning room, Malott diverted power from broken subsystems back into the Medbay. “Debbie, keep those shields up! Pipaluk and Maxim, get to Medbay before you die on me!”
With surveillance down, there was no way of knowing what was happening aboard the flagship or how soon the next volley would come. Checking sensors, the Kestrel was powered for one last partially-powered attack.
“Scott, fire all weapons!”
Without another second, all weapons unloaded on the flagship shields, breaking clean through.
“Fire pike beams, now!”
As soon as the shields were dropped, the Kestrel’s laser beam pierced across the flagship. Within seconds, several explosions burst out before the entire flagship began to break apart. Their next volley would never come.
“Pipaluk, Debbie, get the doors back online! We need to vent all the oxygen out of this ship as we can manage!”
“Our oxygen systems still isn’t online, don’t be too fast to vent out what we’ve got,” Maxim said.
“Scott, what’s going on in there? Why haven’t you brought oxygen back online?”
There was no response. Malott checked his interface, but no vital signs for Scott were appearing.
“Maxim, come with me to oxygen! We need to get it back online if we’re to make it out alive!”
Malott and Maxim took the last breaths they could force in before heading to the mast of the ship, now devoid of oxygen.
In the oxygen bay, the duo found the remains of an attack drone, a patched-up floor where the drone burst through, and a decimated oxygen system. Next to the system was Scott, on the ground unconscious. Malott motioned for Maxim to get to work on the system, desperate to bring it online before it was too late.
“Captain, doors are back online, emptying starboard to clear out the fires!” Pipaluk shouted over coms. “Debbie and I are back in medbay, don’t make us hold our breath.”
Oxygen systems were partially online. Not ideal, but good enough to keep the crew alive. With the job as finished as they could manage, Malott looked over to see Maxim beginning to slump to the floor.
Oxygen would begin to refill, but not soon enough. He didn’t have the benefit of time being on his side. With Scott on the floor unmoving and Maxim falling, Malott used the rest of his strength to pull Maxim out of the oxygen room leaving Scott behind.
After several seconds of being in an air-filled room once more, Maxim began to come to.
“Well, you think we’re gonna make it off of this ship?” Maxim asked.
“Let’s go find out,” Malott responded.
The duo returned to the Medbay, finding Pipaluk resting upright on one of the cots.
“Pipaluk, report,” Malott ordered. “How’s the fire situation?”
“All clear, sir. Debbie’s patching up the cockpit, I came back to catch my breath.”
“Any signs of the rebel fleet?” Maxim asked.
“If there are, we’re blind. Surveillance is still dark and oxygen too sparse.”
“If the rebel fleet attacks, it won’t be our duty to stop them,” Malott said. “We’ve done as much as we can. Maxim, get back on engines. It’s time for us to give the Kestrel her final landing.”
~~~
Malott piloted the Kestrel into the docking bay of the Federation HQ. With the engines finally turned off and the long journey officially over, the crew disembarked.
Outside, they were met by a greeting party with the President of the Federation.
“I see you’ve returned,” the President said to Malott.
“Yes,” Malott responded. He took a deep breath and a look around at the crew standing around him. Maxim, who had been with Malott from the very beginning, Pipaluk, who would likely be arrested if the Federation knew who she originally served, and the robotic Engi dubbed Debbie, who seemed nonchalant about the magnitude of what they had just accomplished. This sparse, tattered and broken crew had managed to deal the killing blow to the rebellion army.
One member of the team was noticably absent.
Malott took another deep breath before finally finishing his thought.
It’s over.
“The flagship is no more,” Malott said. “We’ve won.”
fr fr this is just some extremely personal sappy emotional bs, if you wanna read it go for it. If not, ya thats probs a good call lmao. I kinda just wanted to get this off of my chest, and put it out there if anybody really wants to know why I’ve been extra spaced-out lately or something.
Around this time two years ago, I had bought a rope and texted all my friends saying thanks for giving me the chance to know them. I was too afraid to text my family, because they’d probably know something was up. I didn’t say anything to my sister, who I was living with. I didn’t really know what to do. I had a plan, I had the supplies, and I wanted to do it. But I was so overwhelmed that I just laid in bed, curled in a ball crying. Eventually I passed out from exhaustion.
Around this time last year, I texted my girlfriend asking if she could come over. Not really because I wanted to hangout. I said, “I’m just really afraid of being alone right now”. I regret putting that weight on her, even if she was okay and willing to be there for me. It still messes me up to think that I was in such a warped mental state that I needed to send a text like that.
This year I’ve spent the past 4 months pretty isolated from the world. I’ve seen the state of the country and all the depressing headlines. I’ve seen people I really looked up to fall from grace. I’ve had trouble going to buy groceries. I reach out significantly less to almost everybody I know.
I’ve been keeping people at arms length a lot this year, either because I don’t want to overstep boundaries and overshare, or because I don’t want to ruin my image of being the friend that’s “that chill dude who’s fun to hang out with or vent to”, to the point that I’ve instead almost entirely stopped talking to people. Summers are a pretty rough time of the year for me, and while I’ve been doing comparatively much better this year (understatement of the century) I’m still getting pretty dragged down. I’m working on this, and working on reaching out to people in a way that isn’t like actually crazy lol. Sorry for dropping off the Earth so much.
I value myself just as much as I value anybody else. I think I’m worth just as much as anybody else. I think I deserve to be happy just as much as anybody else.
But when it comes down to it, my actions don’t reflect this very obviously. I’ll always put others ahead of myself. I’ll always look for others to be happy before I think about myself. I’ll always base how much I respect myself on how much I’ve managed to help people.
It isn’t a bad thing to want to be a good person. It’s not an issue if you want to help people.
It’s a big issue if you cannot live with yourself if you’re not making somebody happy.
I’ve had this trait taken advantage of before, by multiple people. I’ve allowed this trait to hurt people, too. It’s something I loathe about myself, to the point that I actively try to avoid letting anybody get close to me. I have to close myself off. I can’t do it to myself or them. I can’t allow the possibility of that to happen again. I don’t know how to fix it, so I won’t let the scenario where somebody can get hurt to take place. Period.
I value myself just as much as I value anybody else. I think I’m worth just as much as anybody else. I think I deserve to be happy just as much as anybody else.
I’m just taking the best route I know to take to make sure I keep myself and everybody else as happy as possible.
This is the end of the NBA. All talent has been drained. It’s dying. There are no more good basketball players left. Only pain. Only suffering. Only disappointment.
This is the end of the NBA. This is the story of the last days of the league.
NBA 2018-2019 SEASON
Quick important events: MVP: Nikola Jokic (1st)
Finals: Warriors 3-4 Celtics
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: Dirk Nowitzki
Scouts are baffled as Zion Williamson, Ja Morant as well as other top draft prospects have seemingly been replaced by garbage. In fact, all scouting targets are dead ends. There are no prospects anymore, only death drafties. The league is panicking, but hoping that maybe further down the line talent will be found. This is the NBA, there’s bound to be somebody good at some point... Right?
The season passes normally, no shocking revelations to be found. Nikola Jokic finally has his breakout year, with 22.2/ 7.9 ast/ 14.5 rebs, good enough to net the Nuggets just the 6th seed, but win an MVP (despite Steph Curry averaging 30ppg). Aside from this and the Timberwolves somehow managing 47 wins, the season plays out fairly true to real life. LeBron misses his first playoffs on the underperforming Lakers.
Kemba Walker is having a miracle of a season, finally joining the 60-point-game club. Continuing this absurd play into the playoffs, the Charlotte Hornets not only get 8th seed, but manage to take Giannis’ Bucks to 7, and win. The ride doesn’t last for long, as the Hornets are swept by the Celtics in the next round. Meanwhile, Philly handles Kawhi and the raptors easily winning in 6, and the Warriors just barely skate by Denver in 7, thanks to a 41 point game 7 from Steph. Houston has no trouble beating the Timberwolves, similarly to how the Warriors have no trouble with Houston in the next round.
The finals is a series for the ages, a constant battle between Kyrie and Steph both trading absurd games and averaging over 30 points, but in the end after 7 games and a final score of 116-112, Kyrie Irving gets his ring and the Celtics are champs. Steph and KD both put up 35 points, but it wasn’t enough to overcome the depth of Boston. Kyrie has proven himself capable of leading a team to victory, and the Warriors dynasty has been de-throned due to injuries yet again, this time Klay Thompson missing the entire playoffs.
An intriguing yet normal season, despite the oncoming poor draft class. Surely with the rise of a new Dynasty in Boston, the NBA is more alive than ever? Surely?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NBA 2019-2020 SEASON
MVP: James Harden (2nd)
Finals: Rockets 4-3 Celtics
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: Vince Carter
The NBA is about equally as shaken as it was in real life. Coming into the season: The Bucks picked up Kelly Oubre Jr. and retained Mirotic, the 76ers acquired Klay Thompson, Jimmy Butler joined the Pacers, Porzingis still went to the Mavericks, Boogie went to the Knicks with Khris Middleton, DSJ and Jeremy Lamb, Julius Randle, Valanciunas and Brook Lopez joined the young Kings roster, and Kemba and Nerlens Noel joined the Jazz. That’s a ton of trades, I’ve actually never seen the AI shake things up so crazily. I would like to make a summary of who got better and who got worse, but things are so drastically different that would almost warrant it’s own lengthy post, so we’re just going to see how this season plays out and go from there. For now, the Celtics, Kings and Raptors appear to be the most stacked. The East is far, far stronger this season.
While there are a few decent rookies coming from oversees or the G-League, the vast majority of them don’t look like they should even be in the league. What’s worse, this incoming draft class is just as bad. Perhaps next season will be better?
For how crazy the offseason was, the regular season was tame when it came to transactions with a handful of bench player trades.
The East was much stronger. That is, until the injuries happened. Injuries wracked teams so horribly that the #1 seed 76ers only got 49 wins, and the Hornets having only 3 players with at least 80 overall and no Kemba Walker managed to steal the 8th seed again. Meanwhile, the Rockets, Thunder, Trail Blazers and Jazz all recorded over 50 wins, the Pelicans led by AD getting 49, LeBron-led Lakers and Kings both getting 48, and in the 8th seed the Timberwolves getting 45 wins.
Let’s just go over this again: the 8th seed in the West, the Timberwolves, recorded 45 wins. The 8th seed in the East, the Hornets, recorded just 37 wins.
With key injuries crippling both teams, the Warriors and Nuggets both fail to even make the playoffs. While the East ended up being far weaker than projected, competition is more alive than ever in the NBA. The Timberwolves fall in 7 to the Rockets, despite Chris Paul missing due to injury. James Harden is proving he earned his MVP. Meanwhile, the stacked Jazz prove to be no problem for the underdog Pelicans. The Trail Blazers, who traded for Lou Will mid-season but were missing Nurkic to injuries, manage to down the Lakers in 6. OKC manage to get past the Kings, who also got blindsided by injuries. On the other side of the league, the Raptors are downed by the Magic, Giannis and the Bucks are eliminated by the Bulls, and Boston and the 76ers progress yet again.
In the next round, the Pelicans take the Chris Paul-less Rockets to 7, but Harden puts up an absurd 46 point performance to get the win and keep moving forward. Harden is having an unprecedented run, and whether he wins or not he’s already established himself as an all-time great. Meanwhile, Paul George and Westbrook absolutely massacre the Trail Blazers, easily sweeping. On the other side, Kyrie Irving is having a similar run to Harden, barely taking down the Magic in 7, while the 76ers continue their steamroll.
In the conference finals, OKC takes a 3-1 lead against the Rockets, and James Harden responds with multiple 40 point games and wills the Rockets to the finals. Meanwhile, Boston is taken to 7 but the pure depth of talent proves too much, and Kyrie has found his way to another finals.
In game #1 of the finals, Harden explodes for 53 points, just barely enough to get the win, and wins the next. With Chris Paul back from injury, to save the series in game #3 Kyrie responds with a 50 point game of his own, doing everything he can to take the Rockets. Chris Paul is re-injured, and the Celtics easily take game #4. In game #5 Harden posts 39 points, but the Rockets fall by just 2 points. He responds by posting 36/19/10 in game #6 to blowout the Celtics. In game #7, both teams trade the lead multiple times and it’s neck-and-neck, but with Chris Paul playing through injury once more and posting an incredible 32 points, and James Harden pouring the last of his soul into the game with 10 assists and an insane 48 points, the Rockets win it. Kyrie Irving shot 8-26, and his redemption he earned just last playoffs has vanished into thin air. James Harden has just had possibly the greatest post-season run of all time, ending every single series in 7 yet somehow winning it all and averaging 35/10/6.6, and posting the 5th and 9th highest-scoring finals games of all time. Typically I don’t go too in-depth into season and post-season performances, as that isn’t the focus of these write-ups. However, Harden had such a historic season that I couldn’t possibly gloss over this. This will go down as one of the greatest seasons of all time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NBA 2020-2021 SEASON
MVP: James Harden (3rd)
Finals: Lakers 4-0 76ers
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: Dwyane Wade
With the talent pool decreasing due to an unusual influx of poor-performing rookies, the NBA has voted to abolish the luxury tax- teams can pay as much as they want for their players. I have no idea why the smaller teams in the league agreed to this, but it’s the rule now. As well, the all-star teams have been reduced to just 13 players from each conference.
This off-season is much less eventful, with very few signings or shake-ups. There are still about 150 free agents that aren’t death drafties, so the talent pool hasn’t started to dry up just yet. As well, the season sees just 7 trades. However, one of the trades is Klay Thompson of the 76ers for Jaylen Brown of the Celtics. Perhaps this is a long-term idea for the 76ers to keep being young, but the Celtics just acquired a massive offensive talent.
When the dust of the season settles, the Rockets hit 61 wins led by repeat-MVP James Harden, OKC Minnesota Lakers and Spurs all join the 50 or more win club, the Trail Blazers and Suns get 49 and 48 wins respectively, and the Nuggets barely make it in at 41 wins. The Kings, Jazz, Pelicans and Warriors have all crumpled, and teams that weren’t good enough last year certainly aren’t good enough this year. On the other side, the Bucks without injuries slowing them down hit 51 wins, the 76ers stay on top with 50, and the Celtics achieve 47. Miraculously, the Cavs swoop in with 45 wins led by Kevin Love and Tristan Thompson. Bottoming out the East is the Magic, Heat, Knicks and Hawks, all getting a little over 40 wins.
This time around, CP3 and Eric Gordon are both missing and the Nuggets are healthy, but the Rockets prevail led by James Harden continuing where he left off last season. The Lakers sweep their way to the 2nd round finally, and OKC and Timberwolves are set to meet up in the 2nd round. No shockers on the East, as the 76ers, Magic, Bucks, and Celtics all progress. However, in the 2nd round LeBron at 36 years old puts it all on the court and gets to the conference finals in 7 over the Rockets. OKC make their way back to correct their mistakes from last season. The Bucks barely take down the Magic, and the 76ers manage to overcome the Celtics in an overtime game 7, where Kyrie Irving posted a meager 14 points and Jaylen Brown found his revenge with 21 points. With a healthy Embiid, the 76ers sweep the Bucks with ease, while LeBron averages 31/ 7.3/ 6 to carry the Lakers to the finals, where the 76ers crumple from the pressure and see themselves swept. LeBron has made his return to glory, and in dominating fashion. The Lakers project has succeeded.
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NBA 2021-2022 SEASON
MVP: Giannis Antetokounmpo (1st)
Finals: Suns 3-4 Bucks
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: Dwight Howard, Carmelo Anthony
LeBron starts the season under 1,000 points from the all-time scoring record, while Steph Curry and James Harden are 1st and 2nd for all-time threes. In the off-season, not much about the league changes. Oh, except for one thing: in the onslaught of disappointing rookie draft class after disappointing rookie draft class, all G-League players have ascended to stardom with many of them sporting around 85 overall ratings. It’s as if they witnessed the dark horizon descending upon the league, and knew that they were the last young talented generation that could save the league. Basketball will see glory for a bit longer, thanks to the ascension of these players.
Jayson Tatum has ended up on Charlotte, trying to revive a broken team. Meanwhile, the Rockets have seen Chris Paul drop in skill harshly at 36 years old. They picked up Jarrett Allen to try and fill the void, but it’s hard replacing a generational talent guard with a decent big. Age is catching up to many greats in the league, and unless some more players make massive leaps these next few seasons could be the last we see of the league as we know it.
Despite being the 2nd best player on the team, the Cavs trade Tristan Thompson for Thon Maker, fearing the lack of young players entering the league and desperate to see their franchise survive. Several other teams make similar moves, but this trade is the biggest name given up just because the other player is younger. As such, they fall from being projected 5th seed to failing to make the playoffs.
This time around the Grizzlies have taken the 1st seed after an absurd season from one of the incredible G-League turnarounds who’s risen to an 89 overall. Jayson Tatum has become such a powerhouse that he drags the Hornets to the 3rd seed single-handedly. Seriously, their 2nd best player is Miles Bridges. I have no idea how Tatum did this and didn’t win MVP.
After round 1, the Suns led by Ayton and Booker finally escape the 1st round, taking down a weak #1 seed. They’re met by the Timberwolves, who barely shirk off the Spurs. The Nuggets easily beat OKC, where they will face Houston who managed to take down the Lakers led by 37-year-old LeBron James. Everything on the East remains stagnant, except for the Pistons who swept the Charlotte Jayson Tatums. Isaiah Whitehead and Tristan Thompson joining Blake Griffin and Andre Drummond have turned this 9-10 seed team into a legitimate playoff threat. Despite taking a 3-1 lead, the Pistons fall to the Giannis-led Bucks, to face the 76ers once again. The Rockets down the Nuggets, and James Harden fights to the conference finals yet again. This time they face the Suns and sensational Devin Booker.
The 8th seed Suns continue their miracle run taking down the Rockets in 5, as the Bucks finally see the finals. The Suns take a 3-1 lead, but Giannis mounts a comeback to finally get his ring. The Bucks have finally become champions in the same year Giannis finally became an MVP.
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NBA 2022-2023 SEASON
MVP: Giannis Antetokounmpo (2nd)
Finals: Rockets 4-0 Cavaliers
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: None
The league continues to avoid rocking the boat, and not much changes. Everyone is hoping they can continue waiting out the death drafties, but hope is fading. There’s still enough talent across the league that almost every team is a threat to some degree, but the death drafties are creeping in. The youngest talented players are all 24 and 25 rather than 19 and 20. The 2nd best rookie is 30 years old. The G-League players continue ascending to absurd talents, as a 26 year old undrafted talent who’s never played in the league has somehow gotten an 89 overall rating. The talent pool is declining to the point that 80+ overall players are being traded left and right, since that’s become the new normal. This seems like a positive thing, but the only reason this is normal is the lack of developing talent. Perhaps everyone sees this happening and is just trying to carry on as usual. Perhaps they’re in denial. The end is drawing closer either way.
Interestingly, the Rockets have risen to the #1 seed once more. With 59 wins, they’re the best team in the league. Behind them is the Nuggets, led by 91 overall Justin Bibbs, who’s also the ROTY at the age of 26. Unfortunately, Jokic is out for the season and their chances at glory have been knocked down harshly. Not much else of interest happens, except for the Cavs who have risen back up to the 3rd seed and the Celtics, after picking up Steven Adams, falling to a 41-41 record and barely grabbing the 8th seed.
What usually is a conference final matchup, instead is a 1st round blowout with the 76ers decimating the Celtics. Milwaukee sweeps the Hornets, and the Cavaliers take the Pistons to 7 to finally escape the 1st round. Orlando continues having great season after great season dashed in the early rounds, this time losing to the Pacers. Houston knock down the Warriors, while the Spurs see their revenge on Pheonix and win in 6. Dallas finally makes their way to the playoffs despite losing Porzingis to a fractured right leg, and battles Portland for 7 games before making their way to the 2nd round. The Nuggets led by Bibbs sweep the Lakers.
On the West, the Rockets fight through to the conference finals yet again, while the Bibbs-led Nuggets scrape by the Mavericks in 7. On the East, the 76ers are shockingly upset by the Oladipo-led Pacers, and Giannis looking for his repeat is stopped by the Cavs. James Harden keeps being an all-time great, carrying the Rockets to yet another finals. Meanwhile, Colin Sexton has developed into an all-star guard and leads the Cavs to their first finals since 2018. Unfortunately, that’s as far as the young player can take them. James Harden and the Rockets decimate them, sweeping their way to a ring.
29 decent players retire, the most notable being Rudy Gay. While nobody is Hall-of-Fame worthy, the depth of the league continues diminishing. LeBron James is almost 40. Chris Paul is a shell of who he once was. Steph is 35. The season only has a few more years left before we start to see new young talent dominate, before the silence brought upon the league by the death drafties begins.
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NBA 2023-2024 SEASON
MVP: Nikola Jokic (2nd)
Finals: Nuggets 4-1 76ers
Hall-of-Fame: LaMarcus Aldridge
Frustrated with their early exit, the Hornets trade Valanciunas straight up for a death draftie. He is the first actual player to be traded for purely a death draftie. I guess the Hornets have decided they want to take their organization straight to hell as soon as possible. They’ve embraced their fate. Soon, all will embrace it. One way. Or another.
After the Nuggets achieved the 2nd seed without Jokic, this time around with Jokic they tie for the best record of all time, getting 73 wins and 9 losses. The next best team is the Rockets, with 55 wins, and the best team in the East only earns 49 wins. The talent is starting to gather to the top teams in the league, and the bad teams are getting drastically worse. This trend will continue. All will keep reaching more drastic accomplishments and failures, until eventually, silence.
The Nuggets easily take down Portland, as the Timberwolves progress over an early-failing Lakers. The Spurs make their way out once again over the Mavericks, and the Rockets keep the Kings from progressing. The Hawks manage to upset the #1 seed Knicks, while Chicago falls to the Pistons in 7. The Celtics are also upset by the Cavs in 7, while the 76ers manage to pull out the win in game 7 against Brooklyn. The conference finals is far different from other years, with the Nuggets sweeping through as expected as well as the Rockets falling in 7 to the Spurs due to missing James Harden, who went down in the first round with a ruptured right achilles. This will be the first conference finals without the Rockets since 2017, 7 years ago. On the other side, the 76ers fight through to the conference finals yet again, while the Hawks manage to upset the Pistons. The Nuggets continue their run sweeping the Spurs, while the 76ers finally make the finals once again and have another shot at the ring. Unfortunately, the best they can manage is taking 1 game. Jokic has earned a ring on his 2nd MVP.
Kyle Lowry, Lou Will, and LaMarcus Aldridge are the biggest names in this wave of retirements. Lowry has been integral to their playoff runs, but the overwhelming force of the Nuggets was too discouraging for him to continue. LeBron will be 40 next season, and at this point is already 5,000 points past the total point record set by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Kevin Durant is about 10,000 points behind them, sitting at the 4th most points, and James Harden is 9th.
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NBA 2024-2025 SEASON
MVP: Karl-Anthony Towns (1st)
Finals: Nuggets 4-0 Hawks
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: Kevin Durant, Kevin Love, Chris Paul, LeBron James
Giannis Antetokounmpo is far and away the best player in the league, sitting at 98 overall. DeAndre Ayton and Luka Doncic are young stars rising to become the most likely last wave of generational superstars. Father time is catching up with many superstars, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this next off-season is the most depressing. One of the last great G-League players has arrived, at 81 overall but 27 years old. Almost all the rest of the rookies are 40 overall. There’s still a sizable amount of free agents, but nearly all of them are around 35 years old and on their way out. The end is drawing ever closer, it’s just a matter of seeing when the grip finally gives.
Once, Paul George was key in getting OKC close to a ring. Now, he’s aged so much that he was dumped for a bag of chips. Russell Westbrook leads OKC to the worst record in the West. The All-NBA 1st is composed of Kyrie Irving, Lonzo Ball, Giannis, Luka Doncic, and KAT. What were once superstars are now simply role-players.
The Nuggets post a 65 win record, the Pacers have risen to 55 wins, the 76ers keep above 50 and the Lakers achieve 53 wins. No other team breaks 50. The gap between best and worst teams is widening. The Rockets, led by 35 year old James Harden, are easily swept by the Lakers, with a mix of prime talent and 40 year old LeBron James. Somehow Giannis finds his way to the conference finals yet again, while the Hawks upset both Boston and the 76ers. The Nuggets machine keeps rolling, sweeping the conference finals for a 2nd year in a row, as the Hawks continue their miracle run winning in 7 above the Bucks. The talent of Trae Young can only go so far, however. The Nuggets sweep the finals, completing the first back-to-back since the Warriors back in 2017.
At 36 years old, Kevin Durant and Kevin Love both retire. Both LeBron and Chris Paul are inducted in the HoF despite neither retiring. The greats are beginning to fade into black. The dark is coming ever closer. The age of superstar G-League players has ended, meaning the talent that is left is all that will ever be.
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NBA 2025-2026 SEASON
MVP: Nikola Jokic (3rd)
Finals: Nuggets 4-1 Hornets
Hall-of-Fame: LeBron James, Chris Paul, Blake Griffin
The Nuggets continue falling back to earth as Jokic continues aging, falling to 58 wins. The Warriors have somehow jumped to 54 wins, Curry looking for one last ring. As well, LeBron and the Lakers win 52, and the Kings finally get their break with 48 wins. The 76ers, Hawks and Bucks round out the 50+ wins club, as Jayson Tatum once more drags the Hornets to the 8th seed. Somehow, despite getting the 1st seed not long ago, the Grizzlies are back down to the 8th seed again with no roster changes, and are out in the 1st round yet again.
OKC recover from last year, but the Lakers manage to win in 7 to meet up with Warriors, as LeBron and Steph battle one last time to see who has the chance to take down the Nuggets. The Knicks make up for last year by beating Indiana, but Jayson Tatum finally drags their corpse to the conference finals. Giannis and the Bucks manage to squeak by the Hawks, the Nuggets steamroll the Kings, and the Lakers fall in 6 to 38 year old Steph Curry. Despite taking the first game, the Warriors fall in 5 to the Nuggets. Meanwhile, Jayson Tatum continues establishing his legacy by beating the Bucks and making the finals as an 8th seed. He’s conquered the 76ers, the Knicks and now the Bucks. But the biggest hurdle remains, and the Nuggets train keeps rolling as they see a threepeat.
LeBron James and Chris Paul are all added to the HoF, despite none of them retiring. LeBron and Steph both decide they still have unfinished business, and don’t want to give up on getting a final ring before the league dies off.
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NBA 2026-2027 SEASON
MVP: Nikola Jokic (4th)
Finals: Pelicans 3-4 Hawks
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: LeBron James, James Harden, Chris Paul, Kawhi Leonard
Cameron Payne has spiked from a mediocre to disappointing player to a 96 overall this season. The game is trying to ensure some sort of talent stays in this league, unfortunately Payne is already 33 and on his way out. The Nuggets continue dominating at 62 wins, with the Pelicans at 57 led by 96 overall Sam Dekker. New superstars are rising from the ashes, attempting to overthrow the Nuggets.
Unfortunately, it’ll take a lot to truly shake things up. The Warriors and Lakers are both downed by the Nuggets, the Hawks manage to sweep Payne and the Trail Blazers, the Hawks and Knicks both make the conference finals.
The Pelicans actually have a sizable amount of talent created, with 2 new 90 overall players to help Anthony Davis. That peak proves enough to push the Pelicans to the finals, ending the run for the Nuggets in 5 games. Meanwhile, Trae Young fights to the finals for the 2nd time. The two teams trade 2 victories each, when Trae Young goes down with a broken arm. Things seem grim, until all role players for the Hawks step up and steal a win, get blown out, and steal game 7. Malik Monk is awarded the Finals MVP in Trae Young’s stead, and the Hawks finally see a trophy, making up for their disappointing series two years ago.
Seeing the dynasty fall, LeBron James, Chris Paul, Gordon Hayward, John Wall, Jimmy Butler, Vucevic, Kawhi, and countless other stars and starters retire. This is the first massive wave of players that were still getting regular minutes to retire. This is the beginning of the end. (James Harden is not retired by the way, though he definitely earned his HoF spot.)
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NBA 2027-2028 SEASON
MVP: Giannis Antetokounmpo (3rd)
Finals: Spurs 2-4 Celtics
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: Russell Westbrook, Damian Lillard, Paul George
33-year-old Jarell Martin has joined the 90 overall club, unfortunately both Cam Payne and Sam Dekker are both already starting to decline due to their age. There are currently 13 90-overalls, and 129 80-overalls. This seems solid, until you realize that of those 142 players only 36 of them are below the age of 30. The youngest competent player in the league is Isaac Bonga, who is 27 years old. The league has about 10 years left before the long dark sets in. This will be the last decade of basketball as we know it.
Surprisingly, the league has more parity than ever. Yes, there are still teams much better than the rest and teams much worse than the rest, but almost every team has a starting lineup of decent players. It’s as if every player realized this was their last chance at establishing a legacy, and have set out to be the last superstar before the league dies forever. They’re determined to make sure these last years of the NBA still show life. They’re determined to keep fighting until they can’t fight anymore.
Giannis earns his 3rd MVP, 5 years after his last, at the age of 33. He remains the most dominant player in the league, posting 29.4/5.4/11.8, the best season he’s had since entering the league. At 36 years old, Kyrie Irving remains the best guard in the league. Time is catching up, though. This will likely be his last dominant season.
With a powerhouse lineup of 3 superstars led by Kyrie and Sam Dekker, the Celtics achieve the #1 seed and 61 wins. This is their best season since they won a ring in the first season of death drafties, 9 years ago. The Bucks, led by an absurdly talented Giannis are posting the 3rd best record in the league, with the 2nd best held by Cameron Payne’s Trail Blazers. With Lillard barely gripping that veteran backup position, this will likely be his last shot at a ring.
Somehow, the Spurs are continuing to make the playoffs. In all of the madness of these past 9 years, they’ve yet to trade a player and haven’t really made any big signings. They’ve just been continuing to develop their talent, and with their best player being just 84 overall Dejounte Murray they take down the Lakers to meet Denver in the 2nd round. OKC finally escapes into the 2nd round in 7 over the ever-underperforming Suns, and Philly manages to narrowly escape the Charlotte Jayson Tatums. Despite winning it all last year, the Hawks fall to the Pacers in 7, 35 year old Victor Oladipo having an entire renaissance and posting multiple 30+ point games. Unfortunately, Giannis proves too much and they only make the 2nd round.
Boston continues sweeping their way to the conference finals, Portland sees no trouble with OKC, and somehow the Spurs take out the Nuggets in 6 seeing the conference finals yet again. The Spurs have just 2 players rated over 80 overall, purely looking at the team’s talent they shouldn’t even be in the playoffs. Yet here they are, in the conference finals yet again.
Cam Payne completely chokes, and the Spurs find their way to the finals in just 5 games. Lonnie Walker and Dejounte Murray both average 20+ points in the series. Meanwhile, the Celtics are too much for the MVP Giannis, with Kyrie sealing the series by posting 39 points in game 6 to win it. At 36 years old, Kyrie is still regularly having 40+ point games, and is going all-out to try and get his 3rd ring before his body gives out on him. In the finals, the Spurs take game 1, and Kyrie responds with 30 points to take game 2 and 35 to take game 3. The Spurs manage to get game 4 and save the series hopes, but then Kyrie turns it up even further making 37 in game 5, and putting the series to bed with an absurd 44 point game. Averaging 30 ppg for the finals, Kyrie Irving is a champion once more. Immediately following the win, Cory Joseph, David Nwaba and Eric Bledsoe retire champions. This cripples the Celtics to essentially being just 3 decent players and nothing else.
DeAndre Jordan, Westbrook, Paul George, Kemba Walker, DeRozan and Lillard make up the notable retirements. Not as many names retiring as last year, but the ones who do are goliaths. The league continues the march to dark.
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NBA 2028-2029 SEASON
MVP: Nikola Jokic (5th)
Finals: Nuggets 4-3 Celtics
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: Steph Curry
Interestingly, Kyrie Irving appears to be playing for free at this point. He has 2 years left on his unpaid contract. Upon discovering this, I found that Tristan Thompson, Josh Richardson, Anthony Davis, Alan Williams and Malcolm Brogdon are playing unpaid. I have no explanation for why this is happening.
Remember the parity of last year? That’s gone. The Clippers have just 7 non-death drafties. The bad teams are rapidly getting even worse than we thought was possible in this end-of-days league.
Leading the Nuggets to 61 wins, Jokic achieves his 5th MVP at 34 years old. The 3 time champion and 5 time MVP, Jokic has made a case as one of the all-time greats. Jokic and Giannis have consistently been neck-and-neck year after year for MVP, and this year Jokic just barely edges out Giannis yet again.
In the playoffs, the Nuggets and Lakers both sweep their way to the 2nd round, the Spurs find themselves facing the Nuggets once more, and the Mavericks finally break into the 2nd round taking out the #2 seed Trail Blazers. Boston meets Giannis while Philly meets Detroit yet again. Shockingly, the Celtics sweep the Bucks off of Kyrie’s absurd shooting looking for a repeat. Similarly, Ben Simmons performs his heart out to get the 76ers to the conference finals yet again, the Process Sixers still ring-less after all these years. Luka Doncic leads Dallas to their first conference finals since the days of Dirk, to meet the Nuggets. While father time may be on his side in the long run, for now the Mavericks still aren’t ready. The Nuggets sweep into the finals. Meanwhile, the Celtics and Sixers battle it out to 7 games like they’ve done years ago, back when the future was still bright and the league was young. With the help of 39-year-old Klay Thompson, the Celtics manage to overpower the 76ers and make the finals once more.
Despite putting up a strong fight, father time has slowed Kyrie down and the Celtics just can’t keep up. The Nuggets win in 7, and Jokic sees is 4th ring and 4th finals MVP. He is now just 2 rings behind tying Jordan’s legacy.
Steph Curry, Klay Thompson, Oladipo. These are the notable names retiring this time. The superstars of 10 years ago are holding out as long as they can, but the Warriors golden boys are officially gone. The league we used to know is gone.
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NBA 2029-2030 SEASON
MVP: Nikola Jokic (6th)
Finals: Lakers 2-4 76ers
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: James Harden, DeMarcus Cousins, Anthony Davis
Luka Doncic has assumed the title of best player in the league, at 94 overall. Giannis is being hit hard by age, and while he’s still the 2nd best player in the league, he’s hardly the superstar he was just two years ago. There remains just 9 players rated 90+ overall. There are just 63 players rated 80 overall or higher, less than half of what was in the league just 2 years ago. The end approaches. The skies grow dark.
I’d like to take this time to acknowledge 40-year-old James Harden, who’s managed to reach 4th most points in NBA history, 3,000 points behind Kareem and an astounding 13,000 points behind LeBron James. LeBron ended his career at 48,650 points. Unless Giannis, sitting at 30,000, or Luka Doncic, sitting at 16,500, absolutely feast on the corpse of the NBA in the coming years, LeBron will go down far and away the symbol of dominance and longevity in the NBA. People will argue whether Jordan had a higher peak, but nobody will disagree that LeBron dominated for the longest amount of time. Ray Allen is now 12th in most 3-pointers, with Steph holding #1 with 3,200 more threes. Andre Drummond gets the 6th most rebounds, with DeAndre Jordan right behind him at #7. Chris Paul, LeBron James, and Russell Westbrook make up the 2nd, 3rd and 5th most assists respectively. These make up all notable records at this point. Most of these will go unchallenged, due to the death of the league.
Despite having a powerhouse of a starting 5, the Celtics finish with just 34 wins and fail to make the playoffs. Meanwhile, the 76ers led by an out-of-his-mind Ben Simmons steal the 1st seed with 68 wins. John Collins and Trae Young lead the Hawks to the 2nd seed at 63 wins, and the Lakers finish 1st in the West with 60 wins. Despite a less impressive season, the Nuggets finish with 55 wins and another MVP for Jokic. While the peak of the East is absurdly high, only 1 team in the West makes the playoffs below 50 wins.
As mentioned, the bad teams have gotten horrifically worse. The Warriors have just 4 actual players, finishing with 13 wins. The Wizards have 6 real players, but only 1 of them could even be considered decent. They finish with 10 wins. While these are drastic cases, the whole league is beginning to feel the pain. Most teams only have a starting lineup and maybe a couple subs who aren’t death drafties. The league is looking more dire than ever.
The Grizzlies and Kings both fight their way to the 2nd round for the first time in quite a while, the Kings overcoming the Nuggets in just 5 games and the Grizzlies taking down the Spurs in 5. The Lakers and Mavericks both find their way through once again, while in the East the 76ers, Bucks and Hawks fight their way through. This time around, the Charlotte Jayson Tatums have made it out of the first round, due to most teams only having a few competent players left. Charlotte has already been in this situation for half a decade and were ready and experienced, but not experienced enough to handle Philly. Somehow the Mavericks are swept by the Grizzlies led by under-the-radar Jaren Jackson Jr. While the Kings were expected to be one of the big contenders of this experiment, they fall yet again before seeing the conference finals.
The Lakers led by Kyle Kuzma down the Grizzlies in just 5 games, while Philly has to fight off the Hawks for 7 games before progressing once more. It took the entire league dropping off and Ben Simmons playing out of his mind, but after 6 games the 76ers are finally NBA champions. Ben Simmons is named finals MVP. The process is complete.
James Harden, Boogie, AD make up the big retirements. Despite the lack of big names, so many players have retired that at this point most teams will be lucky to sport more than a starting five of competent players.
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At this point, the game crashed. 3 seasons were lost and had to be re-simmed. So, I will very quickly summarize the notable changes in these 3 seasons.
-2027-2028: DeAndre Ayton somehow wins MVP on a pretty mediocre season. The Celtics beat the Nuggets in 7 and Kyrie still earns his ring.
-2028-2029: Giannis gets MVP again, the Suns and Bucks battle in the finals and the Suns win in 6. So I guess in this non-canon timeline the Suns are NBA champions and Jokic-Jordan comparisons aren’t being drawn.
-2029-2030: DeAndre Ayton averages a ridiculous 19 rebounds and wins his 2nd non-canon MVP. Ayton isn’t even that much better than the other simulation, it’s just that everyone else is dropping off a bit faster than last time. Celtics beat Suns in 6, and Kyrie wins one more ring at the age of 38. With this last hurrah, he retires.
Unfortunately the league is a little bit different due to these developments. Pretty much everybody who retired last time is retired again, but as of right now KAT is the best player in the league, and only 5 players are rated 90 overall or higher. Giannis and Jokic are significantly worse, but they’re about where they’d be in the other simulation as well.
All of these events are going to be considered non-canon, and we will be pushing forward with the league and legacies where they were in the other timeline.
With that annoyance dealt with, let us continue.
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NBA 2030-2031 SEASON
MVP: Deandre Ayton (1st)
Finals: Nuggets 4-0 76ers
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: Damian Lillard, Julius Randle
DeAndre Ayton averages 20 rebounds per game. This isn’t because he’s Wilt Chamberlain-esque and just that crazy, but because the league is made up of so many incompetent players. Wendell Carter Jr. also put up 45 rebounds in a single game. Luka Doncic and Ayton are the only 90 overall players left. The darkest hour is approaching. The Utah Jazz, who were already terrible before injury woes hit them, finish with just 2 wins. The Bulls, led by 84 overall Wendell Carter Jr., finish with 8 wins. The end of days approach.
The Suns, led by 2 of the last superstars in the entire league, are downed by the Kings, who meet the Nuggets once more, this time in the conference finals. Philly makes it past the Hawks to meet the Knicks, who’ve grabbed the 1st seed after 4 years of not even qualifying. Led by Dennis Smith Jr. they’re hoping to finally snag one last ring. Unfortunately, Ben Simmons is still hungry. Looking for the repeat, the 76ers win in 6. Meanwhile, the Nuggets sweep the Kings after being taken down in 5 just last year. With a finals series for the ages, Jokic averaging 30/5.5/12, the Nuggets sweep the 76ers. Jokic now sits at 6 MVPs and 5 rings.
Aaron Gordon, Bradley Beal, Joel Embiid, Andrew Wiggins and Julius Randle all see their jerseys retired. The league doesn’t have much fight left in it. The end is nigh.
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NBA 2031-2032 SEASON
MVP: Nikola Jokic (7th)
Finals: Lakers 4-3 Knicks
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: Anthony Davis
There are no 90 overall players any longer. There are only 27 80+ overall players. Mysteriously, a new generation of talent finally arrived, but a bit too late. All new players that show any signs of potential are in their late 50′s. The league may always wonder what happened that could have caused this. How could an entire generation of talent be overlooked? Regardless, the late-50′s players are still better than the death drafties that has been ailing the league year after year. Unfortunately this missing link generation will only stand to survive a single season.
It isn’t out of the norm for teams to put up less than 50 points in a game. There simply isn’t enough competent scorers left in the league to score so many points. The Miami Heat, led by 65 ovr Kevin Huerter and 61 ovr Furkan Korkmaz, win just 1 game all season, when they exploded for 64 points against the Chicago Bulls, who won 7 games. Meanwhile, the Jokic-led Nuggets win 72 games. Nikola Jokic wins his 7th MVP, setting the record for most MVPs in NBA history.
In the playoffs, the Nuggets are shockingly upset by the Jaren Jackson Jr. led Grizzlies, who then go on to take the Lakers to 7 before falling. In the finals, The Knicks and Lakers battle back and forth, until finally Lonzo Ball leads the Lakers to a ring, the Lakers posting an absurd 103 points in game 7. Breaking 100 points is almost unheard of in this league.
I forgot to mention, almost all bigs still left in the league are averaging 20+ rebounds per game. The level of incompetency and missed shots have allowed them to thrive.
At this point, every player who retires is significant. Not many are left now. The end of days are here. All hope is fading.
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NBA 2032-2033 SEASON
MVP: Marvin Bagley III (1st)
Finals: Suns 4-1 Hawks
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: Kristaps Porzingis
Good basketball as we know it is dead. While the league may be crawling as far as it can manage, entertaining basketball no longer exists. There are flashes of it in the playoffs, but nothing more than a lightning strike.
The Utah Jazz win an astounding 2 games. The Heat win 4. The Cavs win 5. The league is dying.
The reign of Jokic seems to be ending. The Nuggets go down in the 1st round, and with an injured Lonzo Ball the Lakers are no match for the Suns. With a 5 game series in the finals, the Suns have finally won their franchise a ring. 35 year old Devin Booker posts an absolutely absurd 53 point the game, and the Suns win by just 4 points. Despite this, DeAndre Ayton wins finals MVP.
While no players who retired are still significant in the league, Porzingis, Daniel Hamilton, Capela and Jamal Murray all see their jerseys retired. Eventually, no players will be relevant in the league any longer.
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NBA 2033-2034 SEASON
MVP: Ben Simmons (1st)
Finals: Suns 4-2 Knicks
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: Ben Simmons, D’Angelo Russell, Dejounte Murray
At this point the game is forcing countless players into the league to try and foil my experiment. Unfortunately for them, the influx of new players will continuously be crippled to age 59.
Despite being significantly worse in rating, Ben Simmons at the age of 36 puts in his last big push to establish himself as one of the last great players in NBA history. He wins an MVP averaging 27 points and 20 boards. Meanwhile, the Miami Heat record 1 single win, and the Bulls win just 3.
The playoffs are barely anything to write home about. Half of the series are sweeps, just 3 series go to 6 games, and nothing is entertaining. The Suns win in 6. Nobody cares. The league is already dead.
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NBA 2034-2035 SEASON
MVP: Deandre Ayton (2nd)
Finals: Suns 4-2 Cavaliers
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: Giannis Antetokounmpo
The 76ers have no real players, with the departure of Ben Simmons. All players in the league are congregating to just a few select teams. Just last year every team had at least one real player left. This year, here is a list of every team that has officially died and entered the long dark:
76ers, Bucks, Bulls, Clippers, Heat, Magic, Nets, Pacers, Raptors, Spurs, Thunder, and Trail Blazers. All other teams have at least one real player left.
As a direct result, just by having 1 real player your team is automatically one of the best in the league. Deandre Ayton averages 36 rebounds per game. The Nuggets, with 5 real players, win 75 games. The 76ers, with 0 real players, win 0 games. There are just 62 players left in the league. This is the end.
With an injured Jokic, the Nuggets, despite winning 75 games, go down in 7 to the Suns. In the finals, the Suns and Cavaliers battle, but Suns win in 6 games. Nobody really cares.
Giannis, Jahlil Okafor, Kuzma, Sam Dekker and Cam Payne make up the notable retirements. Only Giannis is inducted in the Hall of Fame, as expected. With 3 MVPs and 1 ring to his name, he’s done all he can for the league. He sees how hopeless continuing on would be, and bows out.
Another crash. The crashes grow more and more frequent the deeper we dive into this simulation. This is now the 5th time the game has crashed, but since the first crash I’ve been saving at the start of each season. The death of the league will continue on. This will not be stopped until all hope is dead. *This season in particular had multiple crashes.
The death count continues. The Bucks have acquired a real player who’s so bad that all he can do is rebound and play inside defense, literally every other stat is an F. The Cavaliers cling to Collin Sexton as their one shining light. For some reason, Jokic has gone to the Miami Heat.
New dead teams include: Celtics, Jazz, Pelicans, Rockets, OKC and the Warriors. There are 43 real players left. Many players are congregating on the same teams, with the Hawks having 7 real players, the Lakers with 6, and Nuggets with 6. They’ve given up on the league, but figure they can at least make the playoffs entertaining with having a few teams that can almost play basketball.
The Cavaliers set an apocalypse record of only scoring 24 points in a game.
Marvin Bagley averages 49 rebounds per game. A random 60-year-old computer-generated mistake player posts 104 rebounds in a game. Reality is warping. It has become unstable. All is breaking. All is being lost. The end draws ever closer.
Nikola Jokic. Karl-Anthony Towns. John Collins. Jayson Tatum. Dennis Smith Jr. Mo Bamba. Markelle Fultz. All these players and more retire. The league decides at the last second to randomly re-organize the entire playoffs structure, in hopes of keeping at least the finals entertaining. The top 8 teams of each conference now are seeded 1-16. With so few players left, it remains to be seen if this even matters.
All the glitches in the matrix have vanished except 1, who is so terrible he might as well be a death-draftie. Only 19 real players remain. There will be no more anomalies. At this point, it’s easier to list what teams are still alive:
The Grizzlies still have servicable Jaren Jackson Jr. and 42 overall Isaac Bonga, who can pass the ball and literally nothing else. The Hawks have 2 players. The Hornets have 1, who is 48 overall Frank Ntilikina. The Kings still have reigning MVP Marvin Bagley III. The Lakers have 2, as well as the last 60 year old. The Mavericks have 2. The Nets have 1. The Nuggets have 1. The Pacers have 2. The Rockets have 1. Somehow, the Suns have 4, including Deandre Ayton and Devin Booker. All other teams are dead.
The league leader only puts up 20 ppg. The players left are barely better than the trash.
The Suns win 79 games. Meanwhile, the Cavaliers make the 16th seed in the playoffs with just 29 wins.
One series ends in a game 7. Every series in the first round ended in a sweep. Who even cares anymore.
10 real players retire. There are now less than 10 players in the NBA. They barely make a bigger impact than the death drafties. The league and basketball is dead. We are just watching the corpse rot further and further.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NBA 2037-2038 SEASON
MVP: Kevin Knox (1st)
Finals: Raptors 0-4 Pacers
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: Deandre Ayton, Devin Booker, Luka Doncic, Trae Young, Kevin Knox
9 players remain. None are over 70 overall. 2 are in the 40′s. The final players in the NBA are: Marvin Bagley III, Luka Doncic, Kevin Knox, Deandre Ayton, Jaren Jackson Jr., Devin Booker, Trae Young, Frank Ntilikina, and Isaac Bonga.
All players left are on separate teams, except for two: Devin Booker and... Trae Young. Deandre Ayton has abandoned Devin Booker in a last ditch effort to get a ring literally all on his own. Trae Young has never been alone, and with every other player left on the Hawks retired he decides to jump ship and create the last guard duo the league will ever see.
Kevin Knox averages just 15 points and 37 rebounds to take MVP, a player that in any other circumstance would never touch MVP-level play. The highest scoring team in the NBA only scores on average 72.5 ppg. The league has leveled out so much that there are no especially great teams anymore.
In the playoffs, the Raptors led by Jaren Jackson Jr. make it all the way to the finals and meet none other than Deandre Ayton, who has willed the Pacers to the finals. After just 4 games, Deandre Ayton walks away with one more ring. Jaren Jackson Jr. despite constantly being one of the best players in the league, still misses out on ever getting a ring.
Devin Booker, Frank Ntilikina, Luka Doncic, Kevin Knox, Deandre Ayton, Trae Young, and Isaac Bonga all retire. Jaren Jackson Jr. and Marvin Bagley III are the only players left in the NBA. Neither has ever won a ring, despite both being near constant MVP candidates, and Marvin Bagley being a two-time MVP. This is the last chance. It means nearly nothing anymore, with how dead the league is, but regardless: they’re both determined to end this on a high note.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NBA 2038-2039 SEASON
MVP: Jaren Jackson Jr. (1st)
Finals: 76ers 4-0 Hawks
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: Marvin Bagley III, Jaren Jackson Jr.
It’s been 20 years, and the league is nearly dead. Just two players remain. Two fierce competitors, both looking for a final shot at glory, a final showdown with another true competitor...
They both join the same team. Marvin Bagley III and Jaren Jackson Jr. both join the 76ers. Both being 38 and on their way out, with Bagley being the only player in the entire league who can shoot a basketball, the two decide to throw in the towel and help each other finally see glory. They’ll leave the league for dead together.
Time has taken it’s toll. With just 5.5 ppg and 16 rebounds per game, Jaren Jackson Jr. wins his first MVP. While the two wouldn’t even make the reserves on any regular NBA team, they lead the 76ers to 75 wins. In the playoffs, the 76ers don’t lose even 1 game. The final game of the playoffs ends with a final score of 55-53. One of the teams only scores 6 points in the 4th quarter. Marvin Bagley wins finals MVP after averaging 50 rebounds per game in the finals.
On that note, the final two retirements: Marvin Bagley III, and Jaren Jackson Jr. The final two Hall-of-Fame inductees: Marvin Bagley III and Jaren Jackson Jr. The final two jersey retirements: Marvin Bagley III, and Jaren Jackson Jr.
~~~
With that, the league has died. Nobody is left. Basketball is boring. Nothing is worth anything.
This is the final season of basketball. The league is shut down. Nobody wants to even look at a basketball anymore, for fear of bringing up poor memories.
Here’s some of the highlights of this disaster:
It took 20 years for the league to fully die out.
There were 46 inductions into the Hall of Fame. LeBron James was inducted 4 times.
10 different teams won a ring in the 20 year span.
The Nuggets not only won their first championship, but won the most in the span with 5 rings. The Suns also earned their first and finished with 4 total rings. The Nets and Pacers both snagged their first and only rings.
Total Championship Wins:
Nuggets - 5
Suns - 4
Celtics, Rockets, Lakers, 76ers - 2
Bucks, Hawks, Nets, Pacers - 1
The Clippers, Jazz, Pelicans, Timberwolves, Magic, Hornets, Raptors (in this alternate universe) and Grizzlies all end their NBA run with 0 championships.
There were a shockingly low 9 different MVPs named:
The Bucks, Nets and Pacers were the only teams to appear in the finals once in 20 years and come out with a ring. The Hawks only won 1 ring despite being in the finals 1/4 of the 20 years.
The Nuggets and Rockets are the only teams to make the finals more than once and come out with 100% success rate.
The average playoff series was 5.75 games, with 12 of the 20 series either ending in just 4 games or going to game 7.
This was around 9,000 words long and took me in the range of 10 hours to complete, from prepping to experimenting to writing.
I’ve done this experiment before, but I decided to rehash it once again, partially because I thought I could’ve done a better job with the write-up and partially just because this is a really fun simulation to watch play out. Once again, this is a complete shameless ripoff of an idea created by Jon Bois back in the day for 2k14. Go follow him on Twitter. He’s funny.
Thank you for reading. Be sure to watch a basketball game and value that you will never have to witness the league die in a way such as this.
It's 10:00, about two hours from my usual bedtime. I've been awake for seven hours today. I didn't wake up late.
I planned my day out starting with a decent breakfast, hitting the gym, going to get a few groceries, baking a cake to surprise my girlfriend with tomorrow, and then the rest of the day doing whatever.
I've spent two hours out of my bed today, with right around one hour doing anything other than laying down. The most I've accomplished so far is reheating leftovers and actually eating them.
I'm not sad, nothing bad happened, but this isn't unprompted. This is what happens when you live with depression. Any random day can be sidelined for no real reason.
Through high school my daily routine consisted of going to school, coming home, and going straight to my bed. I spent more time laying in bed doing nothing than doing anything else outside of school. It took a long time to break out of that cycle, but it still creeps back every once in a while.
Depression sucks. Doing nothing sucks. Seeing an entire day slip away because I couldn't find the energy to get out of bed sucks. If you aren't familiar with what depression really can be, I hope this gives you some perspective; it's not always triggered by something happening. It's not being upset or sad. It's definitely not being suicidal. It's just that some days, I don't have the energy to experience life.
That's not to say there's nothing that can be done about it either. Doing small activities, accomplishing little things like cooking a meal or going outside can help speed up breaking out of the funk. But even tasks as small as those can be herculean when in the thick of it. Getting up to get a glass of water can seem impossible, but actually doing it can be one of those little things.
In writing this, I'm hoping I can help educate a bit about what depression feels like, but I'm mostly hoping writing this out can be one of my little things.
Some may be familiar with a certain legendary NBA 2k article from back in the day, telling the tale of how the NBA dies: every rookie class being historically terrible. This is a re-telling of this story through NBA 2K18. The rosters are updated as to the summer of 2018, all trades and big moves like LeBron to LA included. Every draft class is 40 overall, with no growth for any players. This is how the NBA dies.
NBA Season 2017-2018
MVP: Steph Curry
Finals: Rockets 2-4 76ers
Finals MVP: Joel Embiid
Hall-of-Fame Inductees: Vince Carter, Paul Pierce, Dirk Nowitzki
76ers make history as the first ever 8th seed to win a championship. After a disappointing season due to various injuries, they managed to sneak into an 8th seed, and toppled the Raptors lead by Kawhi, the Wizards, the Pacers led by a strong young core in Oladipo, and finally taking down the Rockets. James Harden averaged 27 points against the Warriors and their death-squad, managing to pull off the impossible and take them down in 7 games, but celebrated too early as the young and hungry 76ers proved too much for the Rockets to handle. Note: this is the first NBA Playoffs to see LeBron James completely absent. The Lakers failed to qualify, meanwhile the Cavaliers led by Kevin Love achieved a 4th seed in a fragile East. This marks one of the most entertaining seasons in NBA history, followed by the most disappointing draft class of all-time. If only we were to know what would come next...
NBA Season 2018-2019
MVP: Steph Curry
Finals: Rockets 4-1 Bulls
Finals MVP: Chris Paul
Hall-of-Famers: Dwayne Wade
After being dumped onto the Nuggets last season, Tony Parker has found himself traded back to the Spurs, where he will retire. Meanwhile, the Hornets are so disappointed by Nicolas Batum that he’s dumped to the Hawks for cash and cash alone, no picks realizing how useless those will be and instead aiming for the next off-season. This kind of smart-thinking could prove to be a game-changer for the Hornets. DWade signs with OKC, serving as their backup SG. Steph Curry has won his 2nd back-to-back MVP, this being his 4th overall. Despite his star-studded cast he has established himself as an all-time great.
This year the Lakers scoot by as the 8th seed, but LeBron can only steal 1 game before being eliminated by the Warriors. The Warriors are once again stopped by the Rockets in the conference finals, this time in 6, with James Harden asserting dominance by having 3 30+ point games and one 40 point game. The Bulls led by Markkanen and Jabari Parker manage to make the finals, but are no match for the Rockets. Like a rocket deploying backup engines, after James Harden wore himself out lifting them past the Warriors Chris Paul took charge, leading the duo to their first ring. In the offseason, DWade retires, disappointed by what the NBA seems to be becoming.
Strangely, the Rookie of the Year did not play a single minute in the NBA. In fact, no rookie saw any minutes whatsoever.
NBA Season 2019-2020
MVP: Russell Westbrook
Finals: Timberwolves 4-2 Raptors
Finals MVP: Karl-Anthony Towns
Hall-of-Famers: (None)
The Hornets failed to do anything with that added cap space, and stand as the 2nd worst team in the league just ahead of the Clippers. Notably, both teams have 3 players from the death drafts. Also Tony Parker does not actually retire a Spur and is instead traded to the Wizards along with Belinelli for Austin Rivers and a death draftie. I guess Pop holds grudges. Bucks give up Khris Middleton for Evan Fournier simply to get rid of their death draftie. Westbrook doesn’t quite average a triple-double, but plays impressively enough along with Kuzma and PG13 to get the 3rd seed and MVP. Lakers sneak in at the 8th seed once more, and Giannis leads the Bucks to a 50 win season and 1st seed.
The Lakers take Warriors to 7 in the first season, 35-year old LeBron doing all he can to try and get to the finals once more before it’s too late. This effort proves futile, and the golden boys take them down once more. Incredibly, the Rockets are swept in the first round by the Nuggets. The Timberwolves project finally sees success, as the Raptors led by Kawhi, who surprisingly signed a 3-year max, are downed in 6.
Somehow the death drafties haven’t taken effect yet, and despite any incoming talent, the league is looking better than ever.
Somehow, the Salary Cap announced retirement. Perhaps this is a foreboding message that soon, there won’t be any players worth paying left.
NBA Season 2020-2021
MVP: Giannis Antetokoumpo
Finals: Rockets 4-3 Bucks
Finals MVP: James Harden
Hall-of-Famers: (None)
Clint Capela has elevated himself into a near-superstar, getting himself a rating of 89 overall on the Rockets. LeBron James, 35 years old, has somehow gotten even better. It’s like the talent that fresh talent would have brought in went directly to the players we have left instead. Death Drafties are just bodies to tack on to trades. Teams are getting fast and loose with who they’re trading during the season. The Thunder trade Paul George for Batum, who was previously traded for nothing, just so they can escape their own Death Draftie.
The first clear warning sign has arrived. The Rookie Game during All-Star Weekend: Elites 101-25 Rookie Stars. An undrafted rookie Kobi Simmons who seems to be a glitch in the matrix, generated by the game itself to try to foil my plans, drops 44 points with 82 rebounds and 12 assists. Even the game is trying to stop me, Kobi Simmons is the last glimmering light for the league that talent may still be out there. He’s currently 86 overall leading the Cavs back into success. I honestly have no reasonable explanation for how this player came to exist. Ray Evans wins ROTY by scoring 1 point in the single minute he played in the entire season.
The Warriors are toppled by the Pelicans in the first round, thanks to AD going mental and the additions of Seth Curry and Julius Randle. Perhaps having too many superstars really is a problem after all. Cleveland, thanks to the mysterious Kobi Simmons, take down the Raptors in the first round. And a revitalized LeBron James finally escapes the first round taking down the 3-seed Nuggets, as well as the 2-seed Timberwolves before losing in the Conference Finals to the Rockets. Despite Giannis going superhuman to take the Rockets to 7 and Chris Paul being out to injury all series, Harden and Melo prove enough to get another ring.
2021-2022 NBA Season
MVP: Lonzo Ball
Finals: Nuggets 4-2 Bulls
Finals MVP: Nikola Jokic
Hall-of-Famers: (None)
Lonzo and Ingram have finally transformed into a strong supporting cast for LeBron and come into the season as the #1 ranked team in the league. The strong keep getting stronger, however half of all available players including free agents are now Death Drafties. the end is nigh, and it’s looking the league will be going out with as much of a bang as it can muster. Almost all young talent are panning out beyond expectations, and aging stars are putting everything they can into their game, none following DWade’s lead quite yet. The Knicks have fallen on injury troubles, leading to the first Death Drafties finding their ways into rotation. The end is coming soon, yet still several undrafted talents have risen to the surface. Perhaps the league won’t ever fully die, as long as talented scouts can continue finding those few remaining competent players who slipped through the cracks.
Despite retaining all their superstars, the Warriors make the playoffs as the 3rd seed below the 2-seed Suns and the Nuggets. In the first round, LeBron James and the Lakers blow a 3-1 lead to the Rockets to blow their first legitimate chance at a ring before it even began. Incredibly, the Warriors are toppled in 7 by the Dallas Mavericks, whose Dennis Smith Jr. and Luka Doncic have quietly transformed into all-stars. The Kobi Simmons-led Cavaliers manage to get to a game 7 conference finals, but the Bulls once more make their way to the championship to face the Denver Nuggets. In one of the strangest finals series of all time, every game ends in a blowout. Apparently this is what happens when two teams focused entirely on scoring face each other. Isaiah Thomas drops 23 in game 6 to seal the Nuggets victory, the chip on his shoulder finally being relieved.
NBA Season 2022-2023
MVP: Karl-Anthony Towns
Finals: Timberwolves 4-2 Hawks
Finals MVP: Karl-Anthony Towns
Hall-of-Famers: Dwight Howard
The Clippers are now starting a death draftie. In fact, they only have one player at center and no forwards who aren’t a death draftie. For some reason they decided to overload themselves with guards, marking 6 non-death draftie guards total, hoping to shoot themselves out of hell. The Heat are the worst team in the league when it comes to raw talent, with only Bam Adebayo, an 84-overall center, as their only player rated at or over 80-overall.
LeBron still clings to the title as best player in the NBA, although age is quickly catching up with him, and there were even talks of him thinking of retiring last season. If the Lakers want a title before the end overtakes them, they better grab it fast.
Reality itself is breaking. Furkan Korkmaz stepped out of some sort of time-portal from the year 2016 as a 90 overall and was picked up by the Mavericks. He claims he was drafted by the 76ers, but nobody has ever seen or heard of him until now. It’s as if God himself transported him to this year, knowing of the dire state of the league. Another undraftee stepped up during the rookie game, but immediately after seemingly was drained of his power. The basketball gods are fighting, split on whether they will let the game live or die. Let us hope they can agree to revive the sport to it’s former glory...
Despite both Lonzo and LeBron making All-NBA 1st Team, the Lakers end the season the 10th seed. They fail to even qualify for the playoffs. On the flip side, KAT and the Timberwolves are more successful than ever, ending the season with a record of 66-16. The Clippers guard-brigade finish the season 11-71, recording the 2nd worst record in NBA History. Dwight Howard, LaMarcus Aldridge, and Al Horford make up the notable retirees.
The Warriors are once again stamped out in the 1st round by the Mavericks and new star Furkan Korkmaz, and the Cavs are brought down by the 76ers. Shockingly, the 8-seed Nets led by D’Angelo Russell are able to take down the Bulls in 6, and the Pacers are toppled by the 7-seed Knicks. Devin Booker, tired of waiting for his prime, wills the 7-seed Suns to the Conference finals past the Mavericks, and the Knicks take down the 76ers, leading to both 7th seeds making it to the conference finals. The young Hawks led by aging star Paul George face off against a determined KAT and Timberwolves, and KAT ends a perfect season for the Timberwolves with the 4-2 win and a finals MVP. This truly is the end-times.
NBA Season 2023-2024
MVP: Marvin Bagley
Finals: Kings 2-4 76ers
Finals MVP: Ben Simmons
Hall-of-Famers: LeBron James, Chris Paul, Carmelo Anthony
Gregg Popovich is still the coach of the Spurs. They ended last year as the 2nd seed after a miraculous franchise turnaround, and Pop knows that he can recover his legacy with this squad before the league is lost forever. The Warriors meanwhile are being torn down by father time, sporting a line-up entirely of 33-35 year olds. Marvin Bagley has surpassed LeBron James as the best overall talent in the NBA. The 38 year old LeBron is still hungry for one more shot at the ring, the 2nd oldest player in the league, Melo being the oldest. Carmelo has returned to the Nuggets to make amends and help provide veteran leadership for a squad who’s won it all just 1 year ago. The Clippers are caught in the death spiral, and it’s simply too late for them now. Only 5 players on their team are non-death drafties. And 4 of them are guards. I have no clue what they’ve been doing, but it’s not working. Most teams range from having 2-6 death drafties, so the Clippers really have no excuse having a roster almost entirely composed of Death Drafties. For Christ’s sake, one of them is being paid $10 mil. There’s truly no explanation for what’s happening within the organization. Maybe the front office has been infiltrated. Maybe it’s too late. Run from it. Fear it. There is no escape.
The Pacers have given up on Victor Oladipo, and trade the young star to Detroit for an aged Blake Griffin, in hopes that bringing in a big will help lift them higher than Oladipo ever could. Similarly, the Trail Blazers give up Lillard for Dallas’ Dennis Smith Jr. Loyalty is dead, all that’s left is making the most of what’s left. Stephen Zimmerman has been sent through time similarly to Furkan Korkmaz, this time as an 88 overall. It seems that no new talent can be found, but old forgotten free agents are being sent with new powers to try and save basketball. But what will happen when all of them are too old to play as well...? Meanwhile, the Clippers make history, losing to the Nuggets 47-117. They are outscored by 70. They will end their season with a historic W-L of 5-77, sporting the worst season of all time. The Rockets with no Chris Paul and an aged James Harden sport the 2nd worst record in the league with 24-58. The Spurs, Mavericks, Thunder, Cavs, Pistons, and Wizards all fail to make the playoffs, thanks to injury troubles for all. With how little talent is left, even a rotation player getting injured can be the difference between making the playoffs or not.
Thanks to Jimmy Butler going down with injury late in the season, the Warriors finally beat the Timberwolves in the first round in a sweep, the former death squad making their final efforts before they too are lost to the void. Unfortunately, the talents of Marvin Bagley prove too much in the next round. The disappointing Boston Celtics will finally meet the 76ers in the conference finals, while LeBron and the Lakers face off the fresh talent of Bagley and the Kings in the other conference. When the dust settles, the King is definitively de-throned fittingly by the Kings. This will be the last playoffs to ever see LeBron James, and what a last series it was, seeing LeBron at 39 years old miraculously putting up 37-6-9 in his final playoff win. In the finals, a prime Ben Simmons proves too much and the same team to win it all as the 8th seed at the start of this apocalypse once more wins it all, this time as the 1st seed.
All the stars we know are beginning to retire. LeBron, Carmelo, Shaun Livingston, Chris Paul, Rudy Gay, Dragic, Eric Gordon, Lin, and Patrick Beverly are all gone. Gregg Popovich has finally given up and thrown in the towel, after seeing his team fail to even make the playoffs.
LeBron James has his jersey retired by the Cavaliers, Heat, and the Lakers. Chris Paul only has his jersey retired by the Clippers, despite getting the Rockets a ring and being their finals MVP. The Nuggets, with Melo making amends in his final season, hang his jersey from their rafters.
The old gods are dead. The league is dying. The end is creeping ever closer.
NBA Season 2024-2025
MVP: Ben Simmons
Finals: Mavericks 4-2 76ers
Finals MVP: Luka Doncic
Hall-of-Famers: (None)
The Clippers have turned it around and managed to get a starting line-up without any Death Drafties. However, almost half the league is stuck with 5 or more Death Drafties. There simply isn’t enough talent to go around any longer. Despite losing LeBron, the Lakers still clock into the season ranked as the 2nd strongest team. Meanwhile, the Cavs have crumbled. Collin Sexton left in the off-season, they traded Kevin Love away, and Kobi Simmons has plateaued. He may still be the savior of the sport yet, but not anytime soon. No more hidden talents or time-travelling saviors have revealed themselves. It seems the basketball gods finally decided on the fate of the league. May God help us all.
Ben Simmons ends the season at 28 years old and the current best player in the league, appropriately winning the MVP and leading the 76ers to 61 wins. The Timberwolves and KAT match that record on the other conference. Despite that, Devin Booker has his revenge and sneaks by once more with the Suns. The Warriors are once again beaten by the Nuggets. Giannis carries the Bucks to the conference finals with virtually no help, but cannot overcome the machine of the 76ers, while the Suns put a strong effort taking the series to 7 but just can’t beat the young and talented Mavericks, who host Doncic, Korkmaz, Collin Sexton, along with Lillard and DeAndre Jordan. In the end, the Mavericks managed to horde so many generations of talent that even the 76ers cannot compete.
This is the big one. 19 players still getting playing time retire. Notable ones being Draymond Green, Jeff Teague, Derrick Rose, Marc Gasol, Mike Conley, and Kyle Lowry. There are no remaining free agents who aren’t Death Drafties.
Only Marc Gasol has his number retired shockingly. I guess Lowry failing to get a ring meant he wasn’t worthy to be the Raptors’ first retired jersey. It’s doubtful the Raptors will ever retire a jersey with the league in the state that they’re in.
Note: None of these players make the Hall of Fame. Derrick Rose’s MVP just wasn’t good enough, after all.
NBA Season 2025-2026
MVP: Ben Simmons
Finals: Mavericks 4-1 76ers
Finals MVP: Luka Doncic
Hall-of-Famers: (None)
The offseason brings total chaos. The league approves sudden death overtimes and gets rid of goaltending. Sudden death may prove necessary for the bleak future to come, but getting rid of goaltending is baffling. Luckily most of the Death Drafties are too stupid to take advantage of this rule change.
The Wizards have just 5 players who aren’t Death Drafties. We’re reaching the point where every team is forced to take Death Drafties just to fill out their roster, and with how close in age everyone left is, they’re going to start dropping much faster. Lillard, despite helping the Mavericks win a ring just last season, is traded for Myles Bridges. Gordon Hayward and DeMar DeRozan are tossed around like a bag of chips. The old gods are dead. Russell Westbrook will likely go down as the last superstar to stay loyal to his team his whole career, and have his team stay loyal to him.
The Washington Wizards end the season 2-80. The Spurs finish 14-68, with just two healthy non-Death Drafties remaining. Despite a much more filled-out roster, the Clippers can only manage 15-67. The Thunder finish 16-66. The teams being lost to the Death Drafts are falling rapidly. Those remaining competitive can only pray to make the most of the time they have left.
The conference finals once again see the Nuggets face the Mavericks, with the same results of Mavericks making it to the finals. This time Boston makes the conference finals, but the 76ers led by Fultz and Simmons are able to take them down in 7, with Time Hardaway Jr. hitting the game-winning 2. Despite every game ending with just a 3 point differential, the Mavericks take down the 76ers in just 5 games.
Isaiah Thomas is the only real notable retirement this time around. However, the Bulls and Nuggets both lose 3 players. This could see to the fall of the Nuggets and the death-spiral of the Bulls.
NBA Season 2026-2027
MVP: Marvin Bagley
Finals: Mavericks 4-1 Bulls
Finals MVP: Luka Doncic
Hall-of-Famers: Kevin Durant, Damian Lillard, Blake Griffin
Nikola Vucevic is the first player to be traded straight-up for a Death Draftie. Why the Spurs would choose to do this is beyond me, but similar trades pop up around the league shortly after. GM’s simply don’t know what to do with themselves. Not much happens anymore. The quiet death of the NBA has begun.
Marvin Bagley wins the MVP once more, stopping Ben Simmons from reaching the treasured three-peat. The gap between good and bad grows ever larger, as the Lakers join the depths with 18-64 record, and on the flip-side both Dallas and the Knicks finish 71-11. Anthony Davis and Julius Randle somehow propel the Pelicans to 62 wins, the 3rd best in the league while also having one of the oldest teams, the youngest non-Death Draftie being 31 years old.
Jabari Parker has a renaissance and drops 43 in game 7 against the Knicks to escape to the conference finals, then averages 22 points against the 76ers to help the Bulls make the finals. Anthony Davis, holding down the old guard, drags the Pelicans to a franchise-first conference finals, but cannot overcome the monstrous force of the Mavericks. In the end, the Mavericks simply have too much young talent for any other team to compete with. This is the first three-peat in over 20 years, since the Lakers pulled it off in a much stronger league than what we see now. Luka Doncic might not be the best player in the league, but he may end the most accomplished of the doomsday survivors.
33 players. 33. 33 retire this coming off-season. Notables include CJ McCollum, Damian Lillard, Hassan Whiteside, Jrue Holiday (who was still vital to the Pelicans’ playoff run), Blake Griffin, Paul George, and Derrick Favors.
Blake Griffin sees his number retired with the Clippers, and KD has his retired by OKC as well as Golden State, and also makes the Hall of Fame despite not retiring The league just doesn’t care anymore. Meanwhile, Paul George and Damian Lillard will never see the rafters.
NBA Season 2027-2028
MVP: Marvin Bagley
Finals: Mavericks 4-0 76ers
Finals MVP: Luka Doncic
Hall-of-Famers: Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, John Wall
The Grizzlies only have 3 non-Death Draft players. The Warriors only have 4. Steph and Seth Curry have found comfort with each other on the Pheonix Suns. Kevin Durant is playing in the same arena where his jersey is already hung. He may still be in the league, but it’s not the same league anymore. He’s in the husk of a dying league, and the Warriors know it. The Cavaliers lose to the 76ers 45-129. The Mavericks finish with a historic record of 77-5. The Warriors led by the corpse of Durant, who retired last year. don’t win a single match all season. They finish 0-82.
In the playoffs we see yet another Mavericks appearance, once again against the 76ers. No other team can take on either machines. The Nuggets have gotten close year after year, consistently taking them to game 7, but just can never get the win. This time the Mavericks sweep the 76ers. It wasn’t even a contest. Every game was a blowout. The Mavericks are too powerful for this dying league. They have completed the 4-peat.
34 players retire this time. Notables: Tim Hardaway Jr. Austin Rivers, Klay Thompson, Hayward, John Wall, Jimmy Butler, Seth and Steph Curry, DeRozan, DeAndre Jordan, and Kevin Love. Kevin Durant is inducted into the hall of fame once again, despite not retiring once again. Klay Thompson and Steph Curry both have their jerseys retired in Golden State, and John Wall’s retired with Washington. Cleveland doesn’t even retire Kevin Love’s, despite how much he’s stuck with them through.
This marks 10 years the NBA has gone through the apocalypse draft class. In these 10 years, the Mavericks achieved one of the most successful dynasties of all-time, the Warriors didn’t make the finals even once, and the Nuggets managed to secure a championship. Even the best teams now sport rosters half-full of Death Drafties.
NBA Season 2028-2029
MVP: Marvin Bagley
Finals: Mavericks 4-2 Celtics
Finals MVP: Luka Doncic
Hall-of-Famers: Russell Westbrook, Kevin Durant, James Harden, DeMarcus Cousins
At the age of 30 Marvin Bagley has gotten even better, as the rest of the league continues to fall behind. Westbrook has finally been dumped by the Thunder and finds himself on the Timberwolves. Kobi Simmons has proven to be a false prophet and never saved the league like he was destined to do.
The finals see the Mavericks once again, this time against Boston. Once again, it’s no challenge. Once again, Luka Doncic wins Finals MVP, and the Mavericks have now completed a 5-peat.
This time around, there are 37 retirements. The Nuggets are almost totally dismantled. Oladipo has thrown in the towel. Tristan Thompson got a ring with the Mavericks on his way out. DeMarcus Cousins never did see the finals. James Harden won 2 rings, 1 without the help of Chris Paul. Westbrook never could get it done on his own. Kevin Durant finally retired. The Warriors superteam, as well as the Thunder trio are officially dead. Fitting that all three of the Thunder trio would retire in the same year.
Westbrook doesn’t get his jersey retired, despite giving his entire career to OKC, and despite Durant getting his retired even though he left. Bradley Beal sees his jersey retired by the Wizards despite not retiring yet. Kemba’s is likewise retired by the Hornets prematurely. James Harden is fittingly seeing his jersey retired by the Rockets.
NBA Season 2029-2030
MVP: Marvin Bagley
Finals: Mavericks 4-1 Celtics
Finals MVP: Mikal Bridges
Hall-of-Famers: Kawhi Leonard, Anthony Davis
The Clippers have just 1 non-Death Draft player left. DeAaron Fox and Marvin Bagley are the only surviving Kings players. The league is standing on it’s last legs. Marvin Bagley finishes the season averaging 38.7 points and 41 rebounds. The Kings don’t even make the playoffs. 3 teams don’t even get 10 wins for the season. The Mavericks improve their record to 79-3.
Giannis, now 35, somehow musters the strength to carry the Bucks past the Pacers and the 76ers but cannot take down the Celtics, while on the other end the Timberwolves and the Mavericks once again face off, with similar results. The Mavericks complete the 6-peat. This time, Mikal Bridges takes the finals MVP. Competition is dead.
20 retire this time. The river runs dry. Embiid has retired at 36. Kawhi Leonard retires at 38. Both managed to achieve a finals MVP in their time, and nothing more.
Kawhi Leonard has his jersey retired by the Raptors. I guess they figured since neither Lowry or DeRozan ever had success at least Leonard got them to a finals. The Pelicans and 76ers of course retire Embiid and AD’s jerseys.
The league died long ago. All that remains is a shambling corpse.
NBA Season 2030-2031
MVP: DeAndre Ayton
Finals: Nuggets 4-1 Knicks
Finals MVP: Michael Porter
Hall-of-Famers: Andre Drummond
The Raptors, Clippers, and Heat have been lost to the horde of Death Drafties. The Pelicans only have Anthony Davis, who at 37 years old is averaging 32 rebounds per game. Kobi Simmons, the false prophet, is the only one left for the Hornets. This is how basketball dies. Not with a Mike Breen “BANG!” but with a whimper.
Nobody even bothers trading anymore. There’s nothing worth trading for.
DeAndre Ayton averages 27 ppg with 34.7 rpg to seal MVP.
Luka Doncic goes down with injury coming into the playoffs, leading to the Spurs dethroning them in the first round, and allowing for something new for the first time in 6 years. This time the Nuggets finally have their chance to shine, and the Knicks led by Porzingis finally get through the East to the finals. In the end the Nuggets showed how close they’ve been every year, by handily winning it.
22 retired. Notables: Julius Randle. With how few players are left, practically anybody retiring is notable. At this point so many players are being inducted to the Hall of Fame without being retired, it doesn’t even matter anymore. Drummond and Wiggins have their jerseys retired.
These are the end-times of basketball. Very few teams are competitive anymore. Only 1/8th of the league remains. Every series in the first round ends in a sweep except for Chicago-Brooklyn, which goes to 7, Jabari Parker still not ready to give up. The Celtics and Mavericks once again make their way to the finals, this time with a 40 year old Kyrie Irving to compete against the strong core of the Mavericks. Like something out of a storybook, they finally did it. The Celtics struggled since the very beginning, consistently making it to the conference finals as well as the finals, but could never get it done. With one last shot before the league spirals even deeper into the abyss, Kyrie Irving graces us with one last entertaining finals series before all is lost forever. Donovan Mitchell and Jayson Tatum finally get their rings. David finally beats Goliath. The NBA can finally die peacefully.
After 20 years, Kyrie retires a champion once more. Anthony Davis never does get his ring, Aaron Gordon and Zach LaVine head out together, Jahlil Okafor finally sees his use in the NBA and retires a champion with Kyrie, and Devin Booker gives up at 35. Booker, Irving, Giannis, and Parker all see their jerseys retired, as well as surprisingly Dejounte Murray and Clint Capela.
The Wizards, Cavs, Pelicans, Thunder, Hawks, Pistons, and Warriors all fade out. Fan interest in the sport is at historic lows. The league is seeing it’s last glimmers of life. The youngest non-Death Draft player is 34. Only 7 players remain with an overall rating over 80. The few remaining have gathered amongst the few safe teams remaining, knowing well how futile holding out alone is.
The Greek freak manages to drag the Bucks to their 2nd finals appearance of the apocalypse, but the Mavericks will likely ride out these end-times as the unanimous kings. D’Angelo Russell, kAT, and John Collins have their jerseys retired, as well as Dzanan Musa.
NBA Season 2033-2034
MVP: Marvin Bagley
Finals: Mavericks 4-1 Bulls
Finals MVP: Luka Doncic
Hall-of-Famers: Ben Simmons, Karl-Anthony Towns, Kristaps Porzingis
The Trail-Blazers are lost. The Spurs are lost. A team is lucky to have more than 2 players left. The last players standing fight valiantly just to see another day. But it will all come to an end soon. Shockingly, 39-year old Jabari Parker fights his way past Giannis to another finals bout with the Mavericks. The series ends less shockingly. Competing is dead. Basketball is dead. Fun is dead.
Capela, Wiggins, Porzingis, KAT, Mudiay, Ben Simmons, Thon Maker. All retired. Jabari Parker and Giannis Antetokoumpo continue to hold out. But hope fades ever quicker. In these dark times, even players like Jerome Robinson or Lonnie Walker get their jerseys retired, when players like Westbrook never did. The end times are here.
Only 45 players remain. Nobody is younger than 36. Marvin Bagley is the only player rated over 80 overall. The Timberwolves are lost. The Nets are lost. Most teams have only 1 or 2 players left. These are the last remnants of the league. These are the final survivors. Soon it shall all be dark. Soon it shall all be over.
Bagley finally found his way to the finals once again, but couldn’t overcome the amount of talent the Celtics had left.
21 players retire. Nearly all light in the league has gone out. Furkan Korkmaz has held the light he travelled to the future to carry for as long as he could. DeAndre Ayton retires an unlikely MVP. Collin Sexton has given up the fight. Lonzo can’t find the will to keep trying. De’Aaron Fox is brought down by injuries. Brandon Ingram won’t continue without Lonzo.
The NBA died long ago. And soon it shall all be dark.
NBA Season 2035-2036
MVP: Luka Doncic
Finals: Mavericks 4-0 Bulls
Finals MVP: Luka Doncic
Hall-of-Famers: Luka Doncic, Giannis Antetokoumpo, Jaren Jackson, Michael Porter, Wendell Carter Jr
15 players remain. The final hold-outs. The last glimmers of the former glory the league once was. At the precipice of the long dark, Luka Doncic finally earns himself a regular season MVP. Motivated by this, he leads the charge for one more Mavericks post-season domination, and with that announces his long goodbye. At the age of 38, Doncic’s reign over the league comes to a close. The greatest and final dynasty in NBA history has ended.
Giannis joined Doncic for one last hurrah and finally gets a ring before leaving. Jokic gives up at 41. Jayson Tatum and Frank Ntilikina both retire Celtics. Mo Bamba retires after having gotten a ring the year before. As a last fuck you for giving up on the Bucks, they choose not to retire Giannis’ jersey.
NBA Season 2036-2037
MVP: Marvin Bagley
Finals: Kings 4-1 Bulls
Finals MVP: Marvin Bagley
Hall-of-Famers: Marvin Bagley, Wendell Carter Jr, Michael Porter, Jaren Jackson, Kevin Knox
This is it. 7 players remain. Marvin Bagley stands as the best player remaining, with an overall rating of 70. Only Wendell Carter Jr and Jabari Parker are on the same team, trying one last time to get that ring. Only 6 teams have even 1 player remaining. The league is on it’s last crutches.
The only real competitors remaining. The force of Marvin Bagley against Wendell Carter Jr and the ghost of Jabari Parker. Both have been trying for years to finally win it all. In the end, Bagley finally takes the championship. After 10 MVP’s and 2 finals appearances, Marvin Bagley finally wins the whole thing. Averaging 24 ppg and 73 rpg, he finally accomplishes what he’s been chasing through this apocalypse for so long.
On that note Jabari Parker, Wendell Carter, Jaren Jackson, Bagley, Knox, and Porter all retire. The league has never been darker.
NBA Season 2037-2038
MVP: Art Chapman
Finals: Thunder 4-3 Pacers
Finals MVP: Rolando Nealy
Hall-of-Famers: (None)
20 years after the start of the apocalypse, and only 1 player remains. The last light left fighting. Trae Young, at 39 years old, after playing with Atlanta and then Houston for all his career, ends the long ride in Philly. His age has caught up with him so badly, that he can barely keep himself above the Death Drafties. The league has effectively died, with the last light left so dim and flickering out that he can barely even be considered a light. He is snubbed for MVP by one of the Death Drafties and eliminated in the 2nd round. He doesn’t even reach the Hall of Fame on his way out. And thus ends the NBA.
And so the league ends. No game reaches over 50 points anymore. No player is impressive. Nobody cares. It is deemed best to just end the league and forget it ever existed. To tally up everything important in this apocalypse:
Most Championships: Mavericks - 9
Most MVPs: Marvin Bagley - 10
Franchises with new championship(s): Mavericks, Thunder, Kings, Celtics, 76ers, Nuggets, Timberwolves, Rockets
Franchises without a championship: Pacers, Hornets, Nets, Grizzlies, Raptors, Jazz, Suns, Pelicans, Magic
“Don’t suppose you’ve got any ideas on what the hell we’re supposed to do now, eh?” Ponce asked.
“...Die. What else is there?”
“C’mon, we didn’t come all this way just to die, so stop with the self-pity and think,” Ponce answered.
“Well Ponce I don’t know if you’ve noticed but we’re sort of fucking trapped! If we go out there, we come face to face with a horde and die, if we go further down we come face to face with a horde and die, if we just sit here until we starve ourselves or one of them decides to wander up here we die, no matter what we fucking do we die!” David collapsed onto the ground.
“...Well I guess going out trying to play hero is the way to go then, huh?” Ponce responded. “If you’re gonna be too emotional then it looks like we’re going with my plan.”
“And what’s this plan, huh? We just run down there and hope for the best?”
“Yep.”
“Ponce!”
“Lighten up David, you know I’m smarter than that!”
“So what do you propose, then?” David said, rising to his feet once more.
“I run down there and hope for the best, and once I have all the attention you try to sneak by.”
“Ponce, do you seriously think in a million years I’d agree to let you throw your life away?”
“You won’t have to agree if I just start running.”
“And what if I decide to run with you? Then it’ll truly be for nothing,” David quipped back.
“Well we can’t just sit here and wait to die like you’re suggesting!” Ponce yelled, his voice booming and echoing off the cave walls.
After a brief pause, David finally responded, “...Let’s do it.”
“Do what exactly?”
“We run for it. Both of us.”
“C’mon David, you said it yourself, all that will get us is a rush straight into the gates of hell.”
“And so will every other option. Think about it: I’d never allow you to sacrifice yourself, and likewise you’d stop me. So what if we both just leg it as fast as we can, try to make a dash for the weapons together? The worst case scenario is the same as the best case scenario for every other option.”
Ponce rubbed his brow, meeting his fingers at the bridge of his nose, before sighing and responding. “Looks like for once I made the plan we can both agree on.”
“Just because death is likely, I’ll let you have this one,” David replied, with a slight smile.
The duo shortly gazed into the depths of the cavern below, before beginning their descent.
“No! What the hell is this!?” David shouted.
David and Ponce stood before the back wall at the end of the cavern.
“There’s supposed to be weapons, there’s supposed to be a door, where’s the god damned door!?”
“...After all that... Just our luck, huh,” Ponce said.
“No, I can’t accept this! We’ve come too far! And now it’s all just some sort of fucking lie!? That can’t be true!”
“David...”
“I can’t believe that it’s true, maybe it’s hidden! There has to be one, I won’t accept this!” David leaned back and delivered a blow onto the cavern wall with as much force as he could muster, before reeling back, holding his now misshapen and bloodied hand.
“David!”
“It’s bullshit! We made it! We did it! So where’s the fucking door!?”
Ponce grabbed David by the shoulders and forced him against the wall. “David! It’s over! There’s no hidden door! There’s nothing! We knew that it was just some sort of rumor, we knew the risk posed by trying to come here, we knew that this could be the end result! Now it’s time to accept it and face the music!”
Ponce let go of David, and walked to the other side of the room. David sunk to the floor, resting his arms on top of his knees, and stared blankly straight ahead. The echoes of movement and demonic screeching reverberated off of the cavern walls.
The two sat in silence, waiting as the echoes drew closer.
Waiting.
Waiting.
“Hey David,” Ponce spoke up, breaking their silence.
“Yeah?” David lifted his head towards Ponce’s direction.
“If I had to die, I’d want it to be alongside you.”
“...Same here.”
The echoes drew closer.
“At least we tried. I feel a lot better trying and failing, than just failing,” David said.
“I think I could do without the failing part altogether.”
David smirked.
The echoes drew closer.
“Hey David,” Ponce spoke up once more.
“Yeah?”
“I think we’re gonna be those bodies the heroes stumble on at the bottom of the dungeon, ya know? We’re the ones who almost made it. And in a weird way... I’m at peace with that.”
“...Yeah...”
The echoes drew closer.
And closer.
And closer.
And.
The bottom of the cavern filled with the creatures. Ponce attempted to fight back, but when he dished out his punch his arm continued moving forward without him, aided by the creatures tearing it away. Ponce stared at what remained of his arm, as he felt more and more creatures grasp at him, more and more creatures tearing at him.
David let out a cry, seeing Ponce torn. He fell to his side, cowering in fear, hiding his head under his hands, yet making no effort to contain his cries. The noise of Ponce’s desecration filled his ears, despite his best effort to drown it out with his own screaming. The ripping. The gnawing. The defilement of the remains of his best friend. All David could do was scream and cry, and wait for his turn.
All David could see was Ponce’s last look. All he could hear was Ponce’s body being separated.
The noise echoed in his head.
And echoed.
And echoed.
“Threat level decreased to sufficient levels. Unsealing chamber.”
David heard a voice, and dared to look up and bear witness to the surroundings he so desperately wanted to hide from. He looked to where Ponce once was, now vacant. The room was vacant. The cavern was silent.
Suddenly the sounds of machinery filled the area, and a portion of the cavern wall shifted in on itself, before sliding to the side to reveal a hidden chamber.
David stared at the opening.
“... The door... The d-door... It was here... After all...”
“... The god damned door...”
David collapsed his head and burst into tears once more.
A simple VIP rescue operation, expect heavy resistance and evac before any more can show up. We sent in a squad composed of a new recruit DuBois, who was to receive hands-on training. To make sure she wasn’t at risk the rest of the squad was made up of Simon, Sokolova, Diallo, and led by Jane Kelly.
Shit went south immediately. The squad moved in and retrieved the VIP but hostiles had been alerted, and a limited window was created to get back to evac before it was too late. Despite this things were going according to plan.
And then they rocketed us.
The roof seemed like a smart option for getting a better view and more cover. Not the smartest when the aliens show us a shiny new enemy unleashed specially for us, a mechanical soldier fitted with thick armor, rocket-propelled grenades and a minigun.
Kelly fell all the way to the ground floor, extremely shaken but strong enough to carry on the mission. Simon landed on the 2nd floor, also nearly on death’s doorstep. DuBois fell next to Simon, or what remained of her. One of the rocket-propelled grenades made direct impact. She was dead before she hit the ground. Simon reported back claiming that he’s had many comrades die but none as gruesomely as she did.
Sokolova, Diallo and the VIP were more or less untouched by the blast, and in response swiftly took out the mech with a grenade and a well-aimed shot from a sniper rifle. Diallo made her way down after the all clear and did her best to patch up Simon, and the escort continued with little time left to spare.
Many more hostiles were encountered, including a Viper as well as another mech, this time giving Sokolova and Diallo their share of troubles with even more blasts, luckily the effect wasn’t nearly as damaging thanks to being on the ground. When all was said and done the rescue mission was a success despite the casualty and heavy wounds to all involved. Simon is hardly the first soldier to need psychological evaluation after a mission, and he’ll hardly be the last.
This marks the first soldier to die while under my command. The one that’ll continue to haunt me. Questioning myself wondering if there was anything I could’ve done to prevent her death, if it was my fault or not. Questions I know I’ll never get the answer to.
The VIP expressed her gratitude in making it out of the encounter unscathed, and how impressed she was that everyone had made it out of the operation alive. I suppose in the confusion she didn’t notice one of her rescuers didn’t leave with her, and I found it best to not tell her someone had died so she could live.
so XCOM 2 is a dope game with random characters that die permanently, so of course I have to give them backstories and profiles. I figured “why not get something more fun out of it and document it all?” So I did. This is that.
Soldier Introductions:
Jane ‘Stinger’ Kelly, age 27, nationality Irish: While not the most experienced, she is certainly one of the most elite soldiers in all of our guerrilla forces, even becoming Central’s right-hand gal and personal bodyguard in the days when he still went on operations himself. She’s made it through many missions without taking a single hit, despite her preferred distance between her and the enemy being up-close-and-personal.
Remy ‘Icepick’ Simon, age 29, nationality French: Among the second wave of recruits to join the reorganized XCOM forces, Simon is one of the few soldiers that aliens know to fear. A convict escaped from holding, Simon naturally found his way to our forces. Much like Kelly he prefers to take down enemies with his saber, with his bunk surrounded by trophies from the various aliens he’s taken down. A little bit of a kook, willing to throw himself into the jaws of danger at a moment’s notice, his brand of crazy is exactly what we need to win this war.
Alexandra ‘Deadeye’ Sokolova, age 27, nationality Russian: Much like Simon, Sokolova escaped from prison and found our way to us. We’ve come to learn that the way she got into prison was when she was ambushed and left behind by her former squad. Preferring to keep to herself on operations as far away from both the enemy and her squadmates as she can, it’s come as no detriment due to her incredible sniping precision.
Colin “The Avenger” McIntyre, age 41, nationality Scottish: One of the few XCOM soldiers remaining who were there to witness and fight the invasion in person, McIntyre has had more than his fair share of brushes with death. He isn’t one to hurl himself into danger, but he’s done exactly that countless times when it means rescuing a squadmate. He wears a non-traditional set of pink armor, in honor of a fallen comrade he lost in the first invasion. It’s good knowing your squadmate cares about getting you out alive, but when you die on his watch it starts to take a toll. Having his own private quarters with the rest of the members from the invasion called the Old Guard, they are the only ones to see what’s underneath his helmet.
Kalia ‘Ice’ Varma, age 39, nationality Iranian: Our youngest member of the Old Guard who marked so highly in combat efficiency that she joined while being only 19, Varma has also taken some of the most physical punishment and lived to tell the tale and keep fighting. She was on the ground floor when the aliens invaded XCOM HQ, where a piece of shrapnel crippled her leg. She was rescued by Gertrud Meyer, and the two took to hiding until eventually hearing word of the revival of XCOM. Varma was initially deemed unfit for combat ranks, but having heard of her previous experience she was fitted with an experimental prosthetic leg and still serves as one of the remaining Old Guard.
Gertrud ‘Mothafuckin’ Meyer, age 48, nationality German: Meyer was 28 when the aliens invaded. She found her way leading countless efforts against alien forces, ultimately stepping in to organize a last-ditch defense during the invasion of XCOM HQ when all others qualified had fled or were incapacitated. Her defenses were crushed by the alien threat, and with her resolve shaken she too fled. It was during this escape she heard one of her soldiers crying out in pain, and turned back to make sure she saved at least one life or died trying. The two survived, but the soldier she rescued, Kalia Varma, needed an amputation. With one crippled physically and the other mentally, the pair retreated into hiding until eventually hearing word of the revival of project XCOM. Ready for a second chance, Meyer and Varma traveled to the HQ and joined the ranks of the other Old Guard, once again taking the role of squad leader, as well as combat medic due to her age slowing her down from the assault soldier she once was.
Bernadette Meryl, age 18, nationality American: She’s literally just Meryl from MGS only now she has a minigun and a grenade launcher.
Miguel ‘Gunner’ Romero: age 35, nationality Spanish: Romero’s parents were gunned down in the streets by aliens during the initial invasion. An only child, he took to hiding for many days until he was found by the aliens. Filled with fear, he complied with living in his city as usual, now alone and supporting himself as the aliens continued to integrate themselves more and more into the area he once loved. At the age of 26, he saw that his city was going to become a city center, where humanity and aliens were to coexist. This pushed him to his breaking point and he fled, eventually finding his way to a guerrilla recruitment camp and joining the cause.
Asha ‘Titan’ Diallo, age 30, nationality South African: Diallo was raised inside a refuge during and after the invasion. She was constantly told to fear and beware the aliens and to never let herself be discovered. When the XCOM project was beginning it’s revival and guerrilla forces were starting to become organized, Diallo immediately enlisted, refusing to continue living in fear and hiding the rest of her life.
Here ends the introduction. More soldiers will come, and some will go, either by choice or without. Important operations and movements will be logged here for historical records. I only hope we can win this war, and win it soon. I’ve already seen more losses than imaginable when the invasion came and dread the losses to come.
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