[dontcherish]

——— 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯

DONTCHERISH. ind. priv. sel. roleplaying blog for CLOUD STRIFE of square enix's FINAL FANTASY VII FRANCHISE. primarily following the OG timeline , with slight influence from REMAKE + REBIRTH. as cherished by SILAS. ( any pronouns , 24 , est ) carrd. OTHER BLOGS: @88letters ( aerith ) , @onedate ( zack ) , @erthshaker ( terra ) , @keywields ( sora )

A STUDY IN: fractured personality , human experimentation , gonna carry that weight a long time , the limits of the human spirit , right person wrong timeline , but maybe doesn't let me go back and save her , the destruction of all you once knew , & more. PARTY MEMBERS : zack.‎

‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘺 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦. ———

[thoughtkick]

“But love was always something heavy for me. Something I had to carry.”

— Benjamin Alire Sáenz

[busyw0man]

⋆｡‧˚ʚ💋ɞ˚‧｡⋆ 𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐒

(USFT! a list of intimate/kinky prompts. your muse = sender, my muse = receiver. add "+ reverse" to reverse the roles. adjust freely to suit your muses.)

[ mirror ] your muse fucks mine in front of a full-length mirror, forcing them to watch every second

[ candle ] your muse pours hot wax over my muse’s chest, thighs, or other sensitive areas, grinning at every flinch

[ blindfold ] my muse blindfolds yours, teasing them with toys, ice, tongue—never letting them guess what’s next

[ massage ] what starts as an innocent massage turns into your muse teasing every erogenous zone until mine begs

[ edging ] your muse brings mine to the edge over and over until they’re a sobbing, trembling mess

[ bodypaint ] our muses paint on each other’s bodies—then fuck the designs into a blur

[ hot tub ] your muse grinds into mine under the bubbling surface, hand wrapped around their throat, lips on their ear

[ games ] strip poker turns into strip dares—followed by toys, spanking, or oral under the table

[ car ] your muse bends mine over the car hood and takes them right there, fogging the windows with every moan

[ roleplay ] boss/employee, priest/sinner, captor/prisoner—our muses go deep into a twisted fantasy

[ mile high ] your muse drags mine into a plane bathroom and fucks them against the wall while covering their mouth

[ vibrations ] your muse uses an app-controlled vibrator in public, pushing mine to the brink during a serious event

[ tapes ] our muses record themselves from multiple angles and rewatch the filth together afterward

[ bondage ] wrists bound, legs spread—your muse takes what they want while mine is completely helpless

[ chocolate ] chocolate, whipped cream, fruits—your muse eats it all off my muse’s naked, trembling body

[ voyeur ] my muse watches your muse ruin someone else—and begs to be next

[ gloryhole ] your muse gets serviced by mine anonymously through a wall, only revealed at the end

[ cinema ] our muses go to an adult movie theater and do everything but watch the screen

[ asleep ] your muse slowly teases mine awake, using their mouth until they moan themselves conscious

[ whip ] your muse flogs mine with a crop, paddle, or whip, counting every strike and kissing every mark

[ medical ] your muse plays the strict doctor, using gloves and toys to “inspect” my muse thoroughly

[ cleaning ] your muse eats their own cum out of mine like it’s the sweetest thing they’ve ever tasted

[ ice ] ice dragged across nipples, between thighs, down spines—your muse uses cold as punishment and pleasure

[ pegging ] my muse bends your muse over and wrecks them with a strap until they’re whining for more

[ watch ] my muse is caught watching your muse touch themselves—and now they have to help

[ restrain ] my muse cuffs yours to the bed and uses them like a toy, unrelenting

[ breath play ] your muse chokes mine just enough to make them dizzy and desperate

[ dressing room ] our muses sneak into a dressing room, one of them riding the other while trying to stay quiet

[ control ] your muse is given full access to my muse’s body for the night—no rules, no resistance

[ public ] your muse fingers mine under a table, in a club, on a train—wherever people might see

[ shower ] steamy sex in a slippery shower, complete with hair pulling and wall-slammed kisses

[ underwear ] my muse discreetly removes their panties and slips them into your muse’s pocket at dinner

[ threesome ] our muses invite someone (or something) else to join—two mouths, two hands, and no mercy

[ stimulation ] while your muse receives oral, they use a vibrator on mine until they’re crying from overstimulation

[ ball gag ] your muse gags mine and fucks them until they can’t even remember their own name

[ porn ] our muses watch something filthy together—then recreate it

[ phone sex ] miles apart but connected by moans, words, and dirty commands—until they both explode

[ machine ] my muse is strapped to a fucking machine, moaning while your muse watches—or directs the pace

[ spit roast ] my muse is taken from both ends—your muse in front, someone else (or a toy) behind

[ dinner ] your muse fingers mine at a formal dinner, keeping eye contact the entire time

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FOR THE BIG MISUNDERSTANDING *  assorted dialogue for that trope i really hate but you know what, sometimes it's good to explore this stuff even if it makes me mad, adjust as necessary

i overheard you talking earlier.

do you actually love me, or was that a lie, too?

you made me fall in love with you.

you were lying to me this whole time.

i never meant for you to hear that.

oh, i know what you said. you don't need to explain it.

when were you going to tell me the truth?

i just said those things! i don't know what came over me!

so now i know the truth.

this is what i get for trusting you.

i never lied about how i felt.

you're making a big mistake.

i opened myself up to you, and this is how you treat me?

go. i don't want to look at you anymore.

you lied to my face.

you don't need to explain anything. i heard the truth.

i get it. i'll just slow you down.

this was never supposed to happen this way.

look, i'm sorry. can we please talk about this?

you could have been honest with me from the start.

what was this, some kind of game?

i didn't lie about that!

that was your plan all along, wasn't it?

you think you can just walk in, play with my heart, and leave?

you manipulated me this whole time.

now i see you for what you really are.

none of that is true, and you know it.

why won't you give me a chance to explain?

that's all i needed to know.

i was so stupid trusting you.

i never should have listened to you.

that's not what i said!

i was just saying those things to get [name] to leave!

you made it very clear where you stand.

might be better if i just leave now.

you never wanted me around anyway.

so this was all a game to you?

how did you hear that? who told you?

yes, i lied to you, but i didn't mean for it to get this far!

i didn't mean any of it!

and all this time, i thought you actually loved me.

what a fool i was to trust you.

the longer you stand there, the angrier i get.

i'm walking out of here, and i'm never coming back.

nothing you could say right now would make me change my mind.

oh, i heard you. i heard everything.

[name] told me you were lying.

i know what really happened. you can stop pretending.

were you ever going to tell me the truth, or were you planning on stringing me along forever?

so that's it? you're just leaving?

did you really mean what you said, or was that a lie too?

everything is called into question.

i didn't lie about my feelings for you.

as much as i'd love to believe you, i can't. not anymore.

they were right about you all along.

when they warned me about you, i didn't believe them.

i never want to see you again.

please pack your things.

[ohisms]

‪‪❤︎‬ ˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 & 𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋 !    (  a  collection  of  75+ kisses.   feel free to specify the initiating muse.   potentially mature content within.  UPDATED 02/25 !  )

finally kissing the person you’ve been pining for.

pulling them in for a kiss while showering together.

a kiss shared during a game  ( truth or dare,  spin the bottle,  etc ).

kissing your lover to show you forgive them.

a coy, chaste kiss meant to say thank you.

an intimate kiss full of relief the second you're finally alone.

wiping away your lover’s tears as you kiss them.

a kiss muffled by laughter in a library, hidden away among the shelves.

lazy kisses on the sofa while the television runs.

kisses while wrapping your legs around your lover.

a quick peck on the cheek as one party rushes off.

a kiss to prove you don’t have feelings for them.

a kiss to convince them not to leave bed in the morning.

a kiss to distract them from stitching a wound.

a parting kiss before one party goes away for a long time.

biting their lip amidst a kiss, drawing blood.

heated kisses while tugging on their hair.

abruptly kissing a stranger to scare off the people following you.

an emotional kiss bringing one party to tears.

a bruising kiss full of desperation and urgency.

distracting your lover from a task by kissing their neck.

standing on your tiptoes to kiss their forehead.

kissing down the column of your lover's neck, leaving marks.

a kiss while being reunited after a long time.

kissing your lover in a moment of sheer joy.

a dutiful kiss with no true feeling behind it.

kissing your lover to take away their pain.

colliding with a wall, then each other's lips.

a kiss placed over their freshly bandaged wound.

a kiss while slow dancing close and intimately.

sharing a spontaneous kiss with a stranger.

an abrupt ,  heated kiss during the middle of a fight.

a kiss motivated by a dare from a third party.

an adrenaline-fueled kiss while standing on the ledge of a rooftop.

kissing them to shut them up.

urgent, messy kisses as both parties scramble to undress.

a kiss to wake your lover up in the morning.

sharing a kiss in a heavy downpour of rain.

kissing your lover just above their waistband.

kissing your partner to seal a marriage.

pushing your love down onto the bed to worship their body with kisses.

a possessive kiss to stake a claim.

a kiss to resolve suppressed ( romantic / sexual ) tension.

a kiss attempting to convince the other party to stay.

kissing the top of their head as you hold them.

a risky kiss between forbidden lovers.

a kiss while hiding away from flashing cameras.

a kiss that means absolutely nothing.

kissing the swell of your lover's breast.

a kiss that leaves lipstick stains.

a kiss shared on a rooftop while the sun ( sets / rises ).

a flirtatious kiss on the back of the hand.

sensual kisses down the length of their back.

kissing them to confess your true feelings.

sneaking off to a public bathroom to make out.

a kiss to forgive one another after a fight.

a kiss on the forehead as the other sleeps.

an  ( accidental / mutually )  drunken kiss.

an unexpected kiss during a fake dating scheme.

kissing your partner after they've given you head.

caging your lover against a wall with your arms to kiss them.

a kiss after receiving good news.

an emotional kiss, relieved to find your lover alive.

crowded, heated kisses in the backseat of a car.

a tentative ,  exploratory kiss between friends.

a kiss shared between enemies during combat.

a kiss that smears blood everywhere.

kissing them even though you know you shouldn't.

kissing your lover after believing you’d lost them.

a kiss after a devastating event ,  meant to comfort.

a possessive kiss in front of a jealous third party.

kisses while pulling them into your lap.

a heated kiss while holding them by the throat.

kissing your lover under the night sky while stargazing.

a kiss to seal a promise that you just made.

kissing your lover lazily first thing in the morning.

holding your lover by the jaw to kiss them.

holding their face, kissing the tears from their cheeks.

a kiss to your lover’s stomach as you travel down their body.

an abrupt kiss that you melt into after a moment of hesitation.

sleepy ,  domestic morning kisses in the kitchen while making breakfast.

a rushed kiss before one party leaves for work.

a final kiss shared while holding your dying lover.

[mamoritxi-archive]

biggs  noticed  the  slight  red  hue  on  his  cheeks  but  worried  if  he  might  have  overdone  it.  not  often  he  actually  took  the  first  step  or  even  kissed  someone  right  away.  he  wasn't  even  that...  great  at  it,  probably.  biggs  wasn't  that  experienced  to  begin  with.  it  wasn't  that  he  was  unpopular  but  ever  since  he  got  involved  with  avalanche,  he  tried  to  keep  his  distance  from  most  people  and  even  before  that,  biggs  did  his  best  to  care  for  the  kids  of  the  orphanage  in  sector  6.  they  were  his  entire  pride,  he  loved  each  of  them  endlessly.

eyes  were  caught  up  by  how  cloud's  tongue  caressed  his  lips,  blinking.  it  was  certainly  such  a  quick  motion  that  it  left  much  room  for  imagination.  he  ran  a  hand  through  his  hair,  moving  his  chair  closer  to  cloud.  leaning  in  once  more  he  kissed  the  man  a  little  slower,  one  hand  reaching  up  to  cradle  his  face.  he  certainly  wasn't  pushing  himself  closer,  but  he  liked  the  feeling  of  cloud's  lips  and  that  soft  warm  breath  against  his  face.

"perhaps  you'd  like  to  come  with  me?  or  want  me  to  take  you  to  your  room?  i  didn't  consider  you  might  have  a  long  day  ahead  of  you."

[dontcherish]

he's  still   recovering   from   the   first   kiss   when   biggs   leans   in   for   a   second   ,   mako   eyes   fluttering   shut.   no   one   had   ever   paid   this   much   attention   to   him   before  ,   at   least   not   that   cloud   had   ever   noticed.   it   was   strange   ,   but   not   entirely   unwelcome.   cloud   at   least   hopes   he   can   convey   that   message   with   the   way   he   leans   in   this   time   ,   breath   catching   in   his   throat.   to   have   someone   show   this   level   of   interest   in   him   ,   to   make   the   first   move  ...

...   cloud   wouldn't   lie   &   say   he   didn't   enjoy   it.

when   biggs   leans   away   ,   cloud's   eyes   stay   closed   for   another   second   ,   feeling   his   face   go   from   pink   to   red.   they   open   slowly   ,   blinking   almost   owlishly   at   him   ,   heart   racing   in   his   chest.   he'd   never   really   been   interested   in   this   kind   of   thing   ,   wanting   &   being   wanted.   it   would   be   enough   to  make   his   head   spin   a   bit   in   most   circumstances.   &   he's   not   oblivious   to   the   out   biggs   is   offering   him   ,   but   he   has   no   intentions   of   taking   it.

❛   i'll   ...   go   with   you.   i   want   to.   ❜

[schtinkybeanz]

ℤ𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝔽𝕒𝕚𝕣 ⇆ 𝕊𝕠𝕟𝕠𝕟 𝕂𝕦𝕤𝕒𝕜𝕒𝕓𝕖 {𝕞𝕠𝕕} {1/???}

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

𝔽𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕝 𝔽𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕒𝕤𝕪 𝕍𝕀𝕀 ℝ𝕖𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖: 𝔼𝕡𝕚𝕤𝕠𝕕𝕖 𝕀ℕ𝕋𝔼ℝ𝕞𝕚𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟

[dontcherish]

why does cloud always have to be Like That whenever he wakes up

[ohisms]

‪‪❤︎‬ ˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 & 𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋 !    (  a  collection  of  75+ kisses.   feel free to specify the initiating muse.   potentially mature content within.  UPDATED 02/25 !  )

finally kissing the person you’ve been pining for.

pulling them in for a kiss while showering together.

a kiss shared during a game  ( truth or dare,  spin the bottle,  etc ).

kissing your lover to show you forgive them.

a coy, chaste kiss meant to say thank you.

an intimate kiss full of relief the second you're finally alone.

wiping away your lover’s tears as you kiss them.

a kiss muffled by laughter in a library, hidden away among the shelves.

lazy kisses on the sofa while the television runs.

kisses while wrapping your legs around your lover.

a quick peck on the cheek as one party rushes off.

a kiss to prove you don’t have feelings for them.

a kiss to convince them not to leave bed in the morning.

a kiss to distract them from stitching a wound.

a parting kiss before one party goes away for a long time.

biting their lip amidst a kiss, drawing blood.

heated kisses while tugging on their hair.

abruptly kissing a stranger to scare off the people following you.

an emotional kiss bringing one party to tears.

a bruising kiss full of desperation and urgency.

distracting your lover from a task by kissing their neck.

standing on your tiptoes to kiss their forehead.

kissing down the column of your lover's neck, leaving marks.

a kiss while being reunited after a long time.

kissing your lover in a moment of sheer joy.

a dutiful kiss with no true feeling behind it.

kissing your lover to take away their pain.

colliding with a wall, then each other's lips.

a kiss placed over their freshly bandaged wound.

a kiss while slow dancing close and intimately.

sharing a spontaneous kiss with a stranger.

an abrupt ,  heated kiss during the middle of a fight.

a kiss motivated by a dare from a third party.

an adrenaline-fueled kiss while standing on the ledge of a rooftop.

kissing them to shut them up.

urgent, messy kisses as both parties scramble to undress.

a kiss to wake your lover up in the morning.

sharing a kiss in a heavy downpour of rain.

kissing your lover just above their waistband.

kissing your partner to seal a marriage.

pushing your love down onto the bed to worship their body with kisses.

a possessive kiss to stake a claim.

a kiss to resolve suppressed ( romantic / sexual ) tension.

a kiss attempting to convince the other party to stay.

kissing the top of their head as you hold them.

a risky kiss between forbidden lovers.

a kiss while hiding away from flashing cameras.

a kiss that means absolutely nothing.

kissing the swell of your lover's breast.

a kiss that leaves lipstick stains.

a kiss shared on a rooftop while the sun ( sets / rises ).

a flirtatious kiss on the back of the hand.

sensual kisses down the length of their back.

kissing them to confess your true feelings.

sneaking off to a public bathroom to make out.

a kiss to forgive one another after a fight.

a kiss on the forehead as the other sleeps.

an  ( accidental / mutually )  drunken kiss.

an unexpected kiss during a fake dating scheme.

kissing your partner after they've given you head.

caging your lover against a wall with your arms to kiss them.

a kiss after receiving good news.

an emotional kiss, relieved to find your lover alive.

crowded, heated kisses in the backseat of a car.

a tentative ,  exploratory kiss between friends.

a kiss shared between enemies during combat.

a kiss that smears blood everywhere.

kissing them even though you know you shouldn't.

kissing your lover after believing you’d lost them.

a kiss after a devastating event ,  meant to comfort.

a possessive kiss in front of a jealous third party.

kisses while pulling them into your lap.

a heated kiss while holding them by the throat.

kissing your lover under the night sky while stargazing.

a kiss to seal a promise that you just made.

kissing your lover lazily first thing in the morning.

holding your lover by the jaw to kiss them.

holding their face, kissing the tears from their cheeks.

a kiss to your lover’s stomach as you travel down their body.

an abrupt kiss that you melt into after a moment of hesitation.

sleepy ,  domestic morning kisses in the kitchen while making breakfast.

a rushed kiss before one party leaves for work.

a final kiss shared while holding your dying lover.

[thehopefulquotes]

“Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.”

— Sam Levenson

[dontcherish]

this one isn't quite so formal as my previous one about cloud's dissociative disorder, but it is going to be somewhat in-depth. since i'm thinking about it, i wanna talk about the lifestream sequence in mideel, when tifa and cloud fall into the lifestream when mideel collapses. because cloud had previously fallen into the lifestream, he was suffering the effects of mako poisoning once again, and he is unaware of who he is and of his surroundings. as we've already seen, cloud is incredibly affected by exposure to mako energy due to his low self-esteem and weak sense of self, so the mako completely disintegrates cloud's hold on himself and his personality. however, in the lifestream, tifa is able to not only retain her sense of self, but to actually piece cloud back together to some extent. because tifa is sure of her sense of self where cloud is not, tifa still appears as she appears normally. however, when cloud's true self appears, it is how cloud looked when he was a child. i think this is telling because at his core, cloud is still that same child, desperate for attention and wanting to be noticed, to be seen. the cloud that we see for a majority of the game is largely made up of traits cloud absorbed from zack due to the mako poisoning, as he did not have enough substance to create a personality of his own, and because watching zack die was so incredibly traumatic for him on top of everything else. but at his core, cloud's true personality is complex. he's deeply sentimental, cherishing the memories of those around him and holding on to things that remind him of loved ones. cloud is also cowardly, refusing to show his face in nibelheim to tifa and his mother for fear of what they'd think of him. he's socially awkward, ostracized by the children in nibelheim and growing up without many friends or much positive social interaction besides his mother, to whom cloud is deeply attached. he's shy and lacks confidence in himself, and prone to taking that out on others, shown when he himself admitted to getting into fights after tifa's fall from mount nibel. at the same time that he is cowardly, cloud is motivated to protect people he loves, making rash and impulsive decisions when they are hurt or threatened. he feels everything much deeper than he's able to show or express, and that's likely heavily influenced by cloud being autistic. he wants so desperately to be liked and accepted, to be the one people want around, someone they like or look up to, which is where zack comes in. zack is the ideal to cloud, the person he wants to be. zack is a hero, he's cool and charming, friendly to everyone and everyone loves him, but also strong and heroic. even despite adopting large parts of zack's personality as his own, cloud's real personality still shines through. he actively chooses to help others, even at great inconvenience to himself, and refuses to leave people behind, even when it's the more dangerous choice. where zack is easily charming, cloud flounders in basic social interactions and often fails to read the room and the mood, creating tension. he's deeply affected by the people around him but struggles to communicate it properly. cloud's 'true personality' being represented by his childhood appearance shows that despite what he presents, cloud did not truly mature beyond that same child from nibelheim who wanted so desperately to be noticed by his peers. his unresolved childhood feelings greatly shape his personality and his desires, and it only makes sense that no only does cloud absorb aspects of his ideal personality from zack, but that the memories of zack are the key to unlocking cloud's true self.

[mamoritxi-archive]

he  wasn't  interested  in  her  like  that?  she  was  going  to  be...  devastated.  biggs  had  always  noticed  how  tifa  was  slightly  distant,  kind  and  sweet  and  forgiving  but  waiting  for  something  or  someone  to  happen  and  when  she  introduced  cloud  as  someone  from  her  past  it  had  become  quite  vivid.  not  that  he  was  going  to  break  the  news  to  her,  he'd  leave  that  to  the  cold  blond.

a  hand  reached  over  to  pull  cloud  close,  head  tilted  a  little,  certainly  giving  him  one  last  chance  to  back  out  before  he  leaned  in  slowly  to  kiss  the  ex-soldier,  not  aggressively  and  certainly  not  very  deep,  just  a  soft  touch  of  lips  before  biggs  pulled  back,  a  little  lost  in  his  own  thoughts.

not  like  he  didn't  know  he  preferred  males,  but  cloud  really  was  insanely  cute  and  handsome.

biggs  couldn't  help  sighing.  "okay?  or  you  want  to  stop  me  this  time  around?"

[dontcherish]

it   wasn't   as   though   he   didn't   care   about   tifa   ,   she's   his   friend   ,   someone   important   to   him.   that's   how   it'd   always   been   ,   but   there'd   always   been   a   distance   between   them   that   people   didn't   seem   to   see.   not   that   it   mattered   all   that   much   ,   or   that   their   shared   history   was   any   of   biggs'   business   ,   or   that   it   was   important   right   now.   cloud's   not   exactly   keen   on   thinking   about   tifa   when   biggs   is   looking   at   him   like   that   ,   hand   reaching   forward   to   pull   him   in   &   --

oh.

he's   not   expecting   biggs   to   kiss   him.   even   though   it's   barely   a   kiss   ,   it   still   makes   his   breath   catch.   it's   not   as   though   cloud   was  oblivious   to   knowing   he   liked   guys   ,   but   ...   it   was   different   this   time.   someone   was   attracted   to   him   &   doing   something   about   it   ,   &   cloud   was   merely   along   for   the   ride.   there's   a   color   to   his   cheeks   that   wasn't   there   before   as   he   blinks   softly   ,   tongue   swiping   over   his  lips.

❛   yeah.   i'll   tell   you   if   i   want   you   to   stop.   ❜

new   as   cloud   may   be   to   this   ,   he's   not   a   pushover.

[thehopefulquotes]

“Was it harder to die, or harder to be the one who survived?”

— Ruta Sepetys, Between Shades of Gray

[dontcherish]

rotating rumi kpdh in my head. if i could graphic design worth a damn rn i would be making stuff for her but im in a rut :(

[thoughtkick]

“You were unsure which pain is worse - the shock of what happened or the ache for what never will.”

— Simon Van Booy, Everything Beautiful Began After

[thehopefulquotes]

“She is something so rare that there’s no name for it, an absolutely unfrightened woman whose heart never went wrong. And her hunger to give love, her intensity and inner magnetism – it’s all there. And she cannot help any of it.”

— Martha Gellhorn, Selected Letters

[littlelamblittlelamb]