I wrote this hours after I finished watching the episode
... but I have one last long winded rant concerning it, or rather, the drama the fandom is surrounding itself with. The elephant in the room that is Jaxs' trans identity.
I'm sorry if I'm using your ask as my means to talk about this-- it'll be the last I'll ever put my thoughts into the topic of this discourse, but--
All I can say is that my opinions, takes, and interpretations-- they are all subjective, and therefore what I say should not make anyone obligated to agree with them. This is simply how I perceived the show from my perspective, but it doesn't mean I disagree or deny anything. Because I never said that. I stated only what I know happened in the show and that anything that happened outside of it is a different subject; My opinion is that what happens outside of the show is an alternate reality, not the main reality.
I just wish this fandom had the same open mindedness over the concept that people can have different interpretations and identities for the same character while respecting the original canon, inside the canon media or outside of what happens in the canon media. These are just fictional characters. They're not real people, for actual real people to get this caught up over what others perceive them to be. Having been in the undertale AU fandom prior to this just makes me look at all these issues the fans in this community are doing online, and I think-- 'these are nothing burger problems to the UT AU community', because at least a good handful of the fans in the UT AU community understood that different perceptions and takes/interpretations of the same character within and outside of the canon ≠ them being distasteful, disrespectful, or bigoted for having thought of things about the character differently from the rest of the fanon and canon, immediately.
I've read the comments correcting me over the fact Goose stated that trans Jax can be called any pronoun, however their identity is within the trans umbrella (transfem/genderqueer), and that his narrative in the show is made explicitly in the trans narrative. I acknowledge that my wording and what I said in those two asks were incorrect over what I thought we could do with the identity of trans Jax, not just her pronouns... however, here comes my subjective thoughts over that.
While I could have worded my thoughts better and chosen my words differently, an explicit mention of Jaxs' identity in the show is a different subject to an implicit/vague one-- Goose has stated herself as a response under the trans confirmation doodle, that she tried to make it as vague and subtle as she could possibly make it to be. So, there are hints, but everyone reads those hints differently-- because subtlety and vagueness leaves room for implications, and within those implications, spawns different perspectives that isn't the trans narrative. So, to me, as someone with a different perception and a different interpretation of Jaxs' arc, I read his narrative differently-- it was not explicitly obvious in my eyes at first, when I was beginning to watch the show. Maybe later on I began to catch into the hints, trying to see what his narrative is saying despite not fully understanding it in the way most people do, but just because it wasn't explicitly obvious in my eyes at first doesn't mean his dialogue, his interactions, didn't read like they're not identity issues from my perspective-- because identity issues are not just tied to the trans experience. And his arc to me read all about issues with his fragile masculinity and his strained relationship with being perceived as effeminate and wanting to be feminine... again, that is what it looks like to me. And this is my perception, a perception I know isn't what the canon wrote it to be about mostly.
The doodle reveal that Jax is trans-- especially now that it makes more sense because Goose said Jax is technically her worst traits, her self insert-- I do not deny it, neither am I saying that I think it isn't canon. But just because it is one such canon, does not mean that I should just discard my initial perception of Jaxs' character because... the show made it implicit enough to read differently. And that's not wrong, it just means I had a different interpretation-- and I don't believe it to be a fact, because it's only my perspective. Not the actual truth. Am I wrong for having a different perspective, when I'm not even trying to deny the truth?
And also, I was stating the fact that Goose made the doodle confirming Jax as trans.. the confirmation is a what if, even if it is confirmed/canon. And what ifs, usually means in another life. And in another life, Jax got to come out, and live the life they've always wanted. But the Jax that abstracted, in the show itself, never got to come out. That Jax, he died cis male without ever getting to come to terms with his identity and himself, and I think the fandom forgets that that is also the canon-- the canon that happened in the show, not outside of it. That doodle post already said it enough--
If, and an 'If' means what could have been.
What could have been if Jax wasn't the self destructive asshole that he was in the show.
And I can acknowledge that Jax is trans, I can refer to trans Jax with any pronouns whenever I talk about her-- narratively and as a character inspite of what I perceived show canon Jaxs' arc and his character to be because I viewed it differently-- while also acknowledging that, in the canon of the show itself, because Jax never got to come out, he died male. He died cis. So I refer to him with male pronouns. And the sad reality of that is the fact it's not about his identity that we should only be empathetic about, but the fact that everything he did as a result of denying his own identity, caused him to be like this.
In another life, trans Jax got to come out and live the life she wanted for themself. But the show canon Jax that abstracted, never got to. He died miserable, reclusive, and unfulfilled. That is what happened.
Trans Jax can exist without denying the fact cis Jax also exists because that is how the show ended him off with, because Trans Jax-- canon as she is, is a what if. What if Jax isn't an asshole.
Trans Jax is another life. Show canon Jax is the main timeline. But they can both exist, because both are canon.
I've said my points enough. The people who read this, and still find faults in what I say-- go ahead, think what you think. Correct me in the comments if you still think, to you, there are errors in my *subjective* opinions and interpretations. But I've said my points enough, and I will just focus on my AU content, because that is really what I am sticking around this fandom for. My AU, and the AU's in the fandom.
