Instead of an endless masterpost of fics, I'll group some of my fics by theme. So, without further ado, here are a few of my Berlermo: how they met fics!
"Libreria del Pecado" is many things. Primarily it's a bookstore AU written by a passionate ex-bookseller. It's also a smut & kink-fest with some really interesting Berlermo dynamics. But you could argue that it's also a how Berlermo met! And later, fell in love. <3 Featuring a lot of bookstore banter and customer-related rants, it's the fic where I 'allowed' myself to write with zero worries.
"Sessions" is primarily focused on Shibari. Yep, one trick po(r)ny on my part (since I got 'em ropes in "Let's Make Art" and "Diamonds" too). It's also a sex worker AU with quite a twist, but-- yes, you guessed it. A "how they met".
"Parabola" is probably one of my favorite fics I've ever written. It's a time travel AU/time assassins AU, and I could call it a how they met - even though Time Agent Andrés, despite the repeated memory wipes, kept remembering Martín. So they do meet for the first time again (cause time travel is finicky) in this fic, but it was always bound to be this way. A story that happens over many timelines, with a few twists, while also touching on the canon storyline.
"Professional standards, open for interpretation" - a Bodyguard AU written for the 2021 Berlermo AUgust. Martín is a ~personal protection specialist (a bodyguard) working for a firm that's on the edge of legality, offering protection to the rich and "legally-challenged" elements in society. He meets Andrés, his principal (client) and all hell breaks loose. Car chases, flirting, sniper shots and a twist ending - all in like, 4 chapters.
"In Flagrante" - Martin breaks into Andrés' place to rob him, gets caught and then proceeds to shamelessly flirt his way out of it-- or into working with Andrés? With a lot of banter, dancing on the roof, and a timeless classic by Cesária Évora.
"Duty: Freed" or Martín is doing shady shit, Andres is on his way to doing stupid shit, and they help each other out. Featuring airports, proposals... Or is it propositions? Or both?
(Also: you won't believe how much of this is based on someone's AMA. Someone who did the sort of thing that Martin does in this)
"Dear Sir Criminal" is the story of Berlermo meeting each other, told via the medium of letters. They only know each other through each other's work, so this is-- an interesting, fun little thing!
Berlin Season 2 [Episode 1] - Be straight, be horny and do crime
Brief spoiler-free opinions: a little formulaic, a little fun; if the first season of Berlin did it for you, this might as well!
Onto spoilers galore under the cut, you are warned!
Okay picture this - between season 1 of Berlin and season 2, this was Andrés:
because episode 1 of season 2 starts with him and Damian boating into San Sebastián, in the hopes of being inspired to come up with ideas for a new heist. Which Damien does, except, as it happens, he's real bad at it. Like, real bad. Massive downgrade from Sergio and Martin. Huge. And Andrés is not shy to tell Damien how he feels about his inadequacies. Because they're Friends™.
In fact Andrés is not shy at all to talk with his full chest about criminal activities in public. (Love the "I'm not even getting out of bed for less than 15 million euros in cash". Sure, Jan. Like you wouldn't put on a leash and bark if a hot woman asked you to)
Not saying he couldn't easily and charmingly talk his way out of anything but I'd have loved it if anyone stopped him like, "sir, excuse me but that the hell are you talking about? Robbing??"
Anyway they're talking about seduction as means of getting into rich people's lives and circles, and Andrés pushes Damien towards some older ladies because He's His Friend™ while this random beautiful woman totally doesn't manufacture losing her marbles pearls in front of Andrés so they'd have a meet cute.
And then she's like, you should totally swing by my place palace guy I've literally just met and he's like, bet. (but in Rich People vernacular, and with sexy eyes)
And he does!! He actually goes to her fortress because, for a clever man, Andrés is extremely dick-dumb if he thinks that a woman (a duchess no less) who's spent a grand total of three minutes with him would invite him into her marital home castle for coital purposes.
Obviously, she does not.
And that's how we get to see the quick progression of a man who thinks that his charisma, sweet fashion sense and a box of Choco will get him laid, get into what he thinks is a bedroom only to see another dude there. At least we know he's not interested in a 3rd in the bedroom if that 3rd is a man. No cuck chairs in this configuration for my man, I suppose. #tragic
So the woman's husband is a fan of Andres' criminal endeavors and wants him to steal a Da Vinci for him. And Andres is not at all focused on someone knowing so much about him, down to guessing which rich people party he'd hit and on what night, and him being ultimately stupidly easy to pull by his dick by any hot woman. Don't say "hot and rich," give the plot literally 5 minutes, okay? So he decides to ~make the guy who thought he could Rent A Berlin pay for his audacity. Damien seems like he's never met Andres in his life with this question:
My brother in Christ, he planned to fuck that man's wife before the offense, he plans to fuck his wife even harder now. (and yes, rob him. But this is Spinoff Berlin, he's all about Fucking His Mark's Wives.) Sad that Andres is too het to want to fuck him too. WE were robbed.
And then he is serendipitously present for the exact moment this beautiful, fiery woman (love her, will bat for her no matter what) throws her and her now-ex's (who may or may not have fucked his own cousin) shit out the window and right beside the ever horny Andres.
So that's basically another vic-- I mean woman for him to creep-- I mean creep, I mean creep, I mean, you know what? Whatever. A woman in a tumultuous moment (she calls him "doll", did I mention that I love her?) who, as it turns out, pickpockets him (Pina pls stop stealing my fic ideas from years ago) and steals his heart alongside his wallet.
We then have to be reminded there are other characters too and we get a "previously on" re: the other members of the new gang. It goes like this:
Bruce gave up a life of excess because he's genuinely in love with Keila.
And Keila's happy too, or at least until the second she meets another hot & ripped dude, and then she turns back into her S1 horndog. I'm sure this isn't the set-up for their character's arcs this season or anything.
Roi & Cameron also had a burning love story that apparently burned out. Not clarified (or clarified and I blacked out?? sorry?)
Equally sure their character development won't center around the relationship with each other.
Berlin, narrating, doesn't want to be left out of the "and everyone has made the sex" and describes his experience as a "platonic romance with Damien". (screenshots are not off Netflix and I watched it there in Spanish, no idea if any of these translations are accurate but you get the gist)
When I tell you I laughed out loud. Especially because what follows is us being told that Damien is taking it Hard the fact that his relationship failed, and he goes to Andrés for support. Andrés who, as we all know, is an asshole who does finally cave in and take his "friend" on a round the world journey where he pretends to listen to him. What bromance if he seems annoyed to be in his presence??
This is a bromance?? After we got Berlermo? Who's taking crazy pills here, because it sure as heck isn't me.
There's an Argentina mention but only to get my heart rate up. Maybe he's so miserable because No Martìn (and not because he doesn't enjoy time with his Friend™) Time means nothing in this universe, Andrés may not have met Martìn. Martìn may not even exist, who even knows. The two pictured above are Friends.
And then there's a Heisting scene, the classic "presenting the plan to the gang" (who take notes; they'd have done so well in Serio's class!)
which is underscored by Andrés being an asshole to Damien (his Friend™) but. Look, I get what they're going for, but for some reason, Pedro Alonso, a man who can have smoldering chemistry with a coatrack, doesn't really have any with Damien? And I don't mean sexually. I mean. Not even as complicated friends. It's just not hitting for me, can't explain. Maybe it makes more sense in subsequent episodes. Maybe my glasses weren't clean when I watched their scenes, IDK.
Then we get Roi calling Andrés "Sir" a couple times and doing whatever Andrés asks of him, even if it's things Andrés can easily do himself, like jimmy a couple of locks? (Yeah if this was a couple of years ago this would have been on my AO3, rated E, a 5-8k words study in kink.)
All of that just so Andrés could pull an Edward Cullen and creep on the fiery pickpocket woman from ?? time ago. Oh and to get his wallet back.
Turns out, he IS bad at his literal job, because he 1) breaks and enters when there's people inside, could have waited for her to leave first, idk, 2) gets not just caught, or taken by surprise, he also gets fucking shot.
With a BB gun because the show's named after him and we know his exact death day (FUCKING SOB) and it's not this, but. Sloppy work from a man who's never gotten caught, I think.
(if I had a nickel for every time Andres de Fonollosa got fucking shot, I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot, and only one hit SO DAMN HARD I'M STILL REELING)
We get one more Heisting (tm) scene with the new gang where everyone gets an equal amount of lines to say and don't talk amongst themselves to share their discoveries until Damien starts the scene with some musings. Interesting to note - Damien talks about Andrés to others as "Berlin" but to him as "Andrés". I mean. Maybe it's interesting.
So this fiery woman very appropriately and subtly named Candela is also into the business of conning people, having stolen the vehicle she drives her and Andrés to confront her cousin-fucker ex who also stole some money from her. And by "confront" I mean basically do her best to trap and burn him alive inside his trailer that's in a well populated trailer park, endangering more innocent lives in the process of attempted murder because she's cRazY. And complex. And nuanced. And not to be weird or anything, has banging boobies.
She matches (...heh heh) Andrés' freak. Andrés who's presumably suffering from priapism at how hot (...) her arsonist ass is. They get stopped by a police filter, swap seats and Andres experiences something which we're supposed to take as A Moment, spiritual, life-changing, etc, then he's all like ROCK, AND ROLL!! and the episode ends.
I just thought this might be interesting too, Andres' fake identity was born in 1971 so what even is time, huh. But also I remember his police file had his full name as Andres de Fonollosa Golzanvez. No point to this, just. Huh.
Anyway if you made it this far, thank you or I'm sorry that happened.
........and I have no curiosity to watch the rest of the season despite being 100% sure that I would. I mean, I might? Not feeling it at the moment though. I watched this first episode on Friday, as soon as I could, took me ~24h to get to writing this post even though I took exhaustive notes during my watch. (Nevermind the screenshots, Netflix won't let me do that anymore so I had to find other workarounds.)
I mean, the show is predictable so far, which is not what La Casa De Papel EVER was. Andrés is closer to the Berlin we saw in S1 than on the OG show. I like they're showing that he is indeed an asshole (to Damian for sure) but I'm not sure it's intentional or supposed to be taken like this.
Some shots and locations are really pretty! I like Candela, but I doubt she'll be wife number 4 and the only reason I'm thinking wives now is because apparently that's the main trait they got off the OG Berlin - dude liked to put a ring on it. I see their relationship literally crashing and burning (once again, hehehehe)
Not a bad show! Just not for me, I'm afraid. I'll see if I got it in me to watch the rest.
What did you guys think? If you watched it? Opinions? Recommendations?
I only got to see the first episode so far, I'm working on putting the notes I took during my watch into some sort of coherent form. Episode 1 is very much like season 1 I think, so not exactly the Berlin we know from the OG show. Not bad, just predictable I suppose. Pretty settings & shots though!
....I'll actually post a "review" soon, I didn't basically watch it again just to take screenshots to then not post them. What did you think? If you watched it?
I'm thinking sequel of sorts (obviously.) With maybe cameos from returning members of the OG Banda? Curious if they'd still want those staple Berlin flashbacks now that boy has his own spinoff. The Children of the Revolution on the soundtrack might hint at something but Cincinnati is 8ish right now, Paula is probably Going Through It TM (puberty/adolescence is rough) maybe Raquel and Sergio are just recovering after sleepless nights with an infant so I'm not taking that part literally.
Worst case scenario - entirely new group, new setting too and the OG events inspired people in, say, the US because an English language show is bound to have a wider reach and before anyone calls me cynical - come on, it's Netflix. They're reviving it for the money, not Por El Arte. (Por el amor. Por la fraternidad. Por el compromiso que tengo contigo.) Naturally, I'll watch it if only for the way my breathing spiked at midnight last night when I saw the YT notification. And since I still remember That Scene like it's encoded in the creases on my brain stem.
I need help reacting to this, guys. It's been 87 years and it still makes my heart flutter. Italicized Oh when I read the video title. I'm weak.
I'm thinking sequel of sorts (obviously.) With maybe cameos from returning members of the OG Banda? Curious if they'd still want those staple Berlin flashbacks now that boy has his own spinoff. The Children of the Revolution on the soundtrack might hint at something but Cincinnati is 8ish right now, Paula is probably Going Through It TM (puberty/adolescence is rough) maybe Raquel and Sergio are just recovering after sleepless nights with an infant so I'm not taking that part literally.
Worst case scenario - entirely new group, new setting too and the OG events inspired people in, say, the US because an English language show is bound to have a wider reach and before anyone calls me cynical - come on, it's Netflix. They're reviving it for the money, not Por El Arte. (Por el amor. Por la fraternidad. Por el compromiso que tengo contigo.) Naturally, I'll watch it if only for the way my breathing spiked at midnight last night when I saw the YT notification. And since I still remember That Scene like it's encoded in the creases on my brain stem.
I need help reacting to this, guys. It's been 87 years and it still makes my heart flutter. Italicized Oh when I read the video title. I'm weak.
Does Tumblr not offer stabbity-knives instead of hearts?? Today, on the anniversary of Caesar's stabbing?? On the "prepare for Stabby Day a month+ in advance" website? After decades of us doing the IT'S STABBING TIME on the most Holiest, Stabbiest of Days??
My bad, I should have known Tumblr didn't think of the current user base because they were too busy coming up with the most egregiously anti-current user base move ever
