the unicorn double-barrel special

"you can drink at 7 AM because the beastie boys fought for that kind of thing"

[30-minute-memes]

[maybe-itdoesntmatterr-deactivat]

facts

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[valtsv]

oh to be a slightly ridiculous looking sea monster on a geographically inaccurate medieval map

[catchymemes]

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

from what i can tell bartending is like the adult version of making potions from random things you find in your house/backyard

[ghostmage-deactivated20200411]

[nouveaured]

[gunsandfireandshit]

[theglowpt2-deactivated20200101]

me: i promise not to go out into the woods of rural maryland and lose the map and end up at the blair witch’s house

me after two drinks:

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

Socialism is a lie made up by Big Zine to sell more zines

[stability]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[cybercrimer]

[guitarbeard]

Witch who's trying to cut me off on the I-290: *rolls down window and casts a curse*

Me (ate vitamin gummies this morning): lmao nice try Baba Yaga

[yesterdaysprint]

The Paducah Sun-Democrat, Kentucky, August 21, 1939

[dappermouth]

last summer I saw a giant moth who had fallen into a water trough, and I gently lifted her out so she could dry her wings and fly away. This was an act of great foresight on my part, as I know that one day, when I am in grave danger and all hope is fading…she will appear, and remember me from long ago, and lift me out of the water trough that I have fallen into. I’m telling you, this moth was huge

[lindirs-gaze]

[grungegender-deactivated2020123]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[slopaganda]

woman of color: *speaks in a less than deferential tone*

white women: why are you yelling :/