[23 YRS OLD] {ENGAGED} {A proud music composer for Sonic Freedom Fighters} ------------------------------------------------------------- "Has anyone ever told you that meddling with time is a horrible crime?... It will come to bite you in the end, one way or another...." ------------------------------------------------------------- Mephiles and Infinite are my husbands 💖
Okay so the following is a spoiler to something that's reoccurring im The Chaotix Casefiles.
So remember the whole thing with the theory with Infinite being Rouge that entire time?
Has anyone realize that every time Espio declines leaving his friends behind that when 'Rouge' reminds with 'Of course you wouldn't' the tone increasingly sounds more and more annoyed and filled with a bit of disdain too.
I have a theory, a rather angsty one.
Perhaps it's jealousy? Maybe him and the Jackal Squad also had the same type of loyalty where they will not abandon one another even when things get really bad, perhaps, he felt something that could've possibly reminded him oh him and his comrades dynamic before the incident.
At this point this is becoming my main Tumblr account so I'll be texting a lot here, I want to use my newfound freedom as a way to learn to really be myself, so please don't mind me
This person hates socks, they are overstimulating for me, this also goes for pants and long sleeves [I'll only wear these if the attire is required for a gathering or anything formal]
This person feels the need to stim whenever they are stressed, anxious or excited.
This person loves world building and writing lore
This person has very questionable comfort characters in terms of the Sonic franchise
[Mephiles and Infinite, Dark Gaia and Metal Sonic as well]
This person also has a favorite scrunchie she would use whenever she needs to pump herself up, she calls the the "Mode-Switch" or "Alter Form" as she's normally very VERY shy, so doing this makes her feel more "adventurous" and "badass"
I think I'm done for now
Uhhhh lemme do my Mephyfan180 coded shenanigans and find a Mephiles the Dark gif
Now that I'm finally winding down from my big day today and that super long hiatus I'm trying to get back into drawing and I decided to start off by posting my biggest comfort character [also crush because damn I love him so sooo much and I wanna give him therapy]
So yee! This is what I got so far after so long of not having the time to draw like that
I won't go into much detail, but I'll be disappearing for a while, I am at the ER to get my stuff set up before they see anything is wrong before I get emitted to a mental facility.
So yeah, I'll be gone for a while, and hopefully this time I'll get the help that I need
The following covers me talking about my problems with identity and as well as going into detail about my past which I guess could be counted as a vent post, please follow with caution
Okay, I know this is going to be a silly thing to come out about, but it's been on my mind for a while, though I'm struggling with the courage to do so.
Yumeshipping, also known known as selfshipping to some.
The reason why this has stumped me a bit are a few factors actually
I'm not really a possessive person whenever it comes to characters I like, I love to see others OC X Canon art/Self X Canon art, the only thing I don't do is sharing through RP's and such. If I did something like that, I wasn't sure I would be accepted into such group due to my lack of commitment to the character I do like if that were the case
As well as a contrasting view of myself, I don't think I would be able to as much as I want to, I can never view myself as one entity, which is why I have so many OC's that I want to be, I don't have one for sure Sona.
Life has been cruel, I have met so many awful people and thus is why Mephiles became one of my many comfort characters, it was during middle school when I decided to rewatch the Sonic 06 cutscenes, as years prior to that Mephiles made me fucking cry as a wee little kid and I wanted to make fun of how I was in the past for shits and giggles.
At the time, something sparked, because around this point I had dealt with a student who had made fun of my uncomfortability and trigging PTSD, something at the time I didn't fully understand what it was.
And as I watched the cutscenes for Sonic 06 again, I realized something..
Mephiles was right, humanity is cruel, and I was far too young when I first found out about him then, but as I sat there, I realized he was right and slowly, I found myself growing a crush on the very character that gave me nightmares years ago.
I wrote a lot of self insert stories with Mephiles and me, that's actually how Elizabeth started off as, at the time, she wasn't really an OC, she was a self insert name for myself and I didn't want my name out there in public, so I made up the name Elizabeth until she became her own character years later, though at this time, not so great things happened and my interests made certain people use it to take advantage of me, I'll leave it at that, as it is of TMI territory and I don't wish to make people uncomfortable.
And then around 2019 or so, I found a friend [who's now my fiance] who got me back into my interests as he was also a Sonic fan, so after years of trying to suppress my interest of Sonic the Hedgehog to not get hurt, I got right back into it, and went back to expressing that love to others instead of hiding it and keeping it all to myself.
So I went back and uncovered all my OC's
Lola, who was made way before I even got into the Internet and the general media, she was made 14 years ago, Elizabeth was made 10 years ago, as well as bringing back so much more, writing more.
My love for Mephiles grew stronger after my flames had been relit, as well as loving other characters as well, but out of all the interests I have in terms of fictional characters, Mephiles had the most impact.
At the time I found out about him, I was dangerously naive and he got me out of that, I'm just glad it was a fictional character that got me to realize that, it would've been scarier if I had gotten out of that if it were an actual thing that happened to me that made me realize that.
And after all these events, that's why I'm stumped with it.
I want to get back into self shipping, but how do I do so if I myself do not enjoy being human?
Someone like Mephiles as well being someone who is also not one to trust humanity, to despise them for how he himself was treated, could I truly still be able to call myself the true Mephiles fangirl or the Mephiles Connoisseur if I do a leap that completely defies his characteristics? I love Mephiles so much, but I also really love it when he's portrayed as close to the canon as possible.
My apologies for the long rant, it's been on my mind for YEARS lol
