just a sad cat stuck in a human body

[doyouseeghostslikeme]

It's been a while since I touched the keyboard, not to write an email, but just to write something from my thoughts, not just soulless paragraphs about numbers and follow ups.

A few years ago, some kind of shift happened to me. I still don't understand what happened, and honestly, it's still happening. I never thought I would feel this lost or have so little direction in life. Nothing really helps. Last year, the sun and summer helped, but not this year.

Sadly, I built four temporary walls that I thought would save me, but goddammit, I can't get out. I'm turning into someone I was always scared of becoming: always angry, always sad. The sad thing is that I'm still young, but it feels like I'm mentally dying.

My friend sent me a ig post about how life has gotten harder and how we've forgotten the hobbies we once had. We started remembering things. She used to be an amazing painter, and I used to write. Not well, admittedly, but I could still write down the thoughts that haunted me.

So yeah, that's the reason for this lame ass paragraph.

[doyouseeghostslikeme]

you are killing your own peace by thinking too much

[doyouseeghostslikeme]

Ասումա,

Turning one's back to another, whether among animals or humans, is the most direct way of expressing contempt.

Ճիշտա ասում էլի)

[doyouseeghostslikeme]

Sometimes you can help with the sadness of others, but not with your own.

[doyouseeghostslikeme]

Having a singer-songwriter best friend is awesome, especially when that friend is well-read and knows how to spill her heart into words. She told me there are a few songs about my last relationship, my mental health, and my depression. This was the only person who saw me break down, go quiet, disappear, and fall apart. Those moments were turned into music my emotions woven into lyrics and she said to be pretty good, even loved. I’ve asked many times to hear them, but the answer is always the same. Not yet, not until there’s certainty that I’ve healed and truly moved on. Otherwise, “old wounds will bleed again.” Maybe that’s right. Maybe not. Who knows.

[seravph]

i think anne magills paintings and Edward hoppers are like .. exact opposites. hoppers has the distinct clarity to it, a sharpness in the lines and the angles that contributes to an overwhelming sense of loneliness in almost every one of his paintings. even in his paintings that dont portray isolation there is a feeling of separation

loneliness vs. aloneness

magill, on the other hand, has this haziness to her paintings that emanates a warmth even when the subjects in her paintings are alone.

both paintings feel so comforting, and even in the second one where the girl is alone she is still in the presence of the visceral world around her - there’s a familiarity in magills painting that she captures nicely.

i guess i just think it’s interesting because hopper and magill are two of my favorite artists and they paint similar scenes with very different tones -

I’ve always thought that hoppers paintings are a snapshot of urban loneliness - the distinctness of it, the use of cool colors, the stark contrast between the people and their settings - whereas magills paintings seem almost like memories - their use of haziness and blurriness is exactly how someone would remember something, indistinct, full of feeling and lacking detail

[doyouseeghostslikeme]

[doyouseeghostslikeme]

You know what’s been bugging me recently? I’m good at certain things, but not the best at them.

[doyouseeghostslikeme]

Disclaimer this isn’t judgment, it’s concern!!! I honestly don’t know when it happened, but at some point Armenian girls started looking the same. Same nose, same lips, same sharp triangle chin. It's like there’s one face going around)

And it makes me a little sad, to be honest. I love women, I date them) And maybe that’s why this hits harder.

It worries me how many girls feel like they need to change their faces to fit some trend. Where’s the individuality? The little features that make you? I just miss seeing more natural, diverse beauty.

[doyouseeghostslikeme]

I just heard a quote

If you're not naturally tired at night and excited in the morning then you probably haven't found something meaningful to work on.

You are not stressed from doing too much. You are stressed from doing too little of what you care about.

The social media algorithms know about me too much 💀

[aachanel]

[doyouseeghostslikeme]

All of a sudden, this dude is one of the favorite artists

[doyouseeghostslikeme]

life lately

[doyouseeghostslikeme]

I’ve realized my empathy is reserved only for the ones I love and for animals. When strangers cry, whether it’s a child or an adult, I feel nothing. I’m not sure if that means I’m protecting myself or if something in me has shut down.

[doyouseeghostslikeme]

you hit that magical age when noise and music stop being the same thing, and you realize Zemfira is basically the musical version of instant noodles oddly nostalgic, kind of bland, and definitely not gourmet.

[doyouseeghostslikeme]

Watching your childhood friend get bullied because she married a famous actor twice her age. it's diabolical and kind of funny, not gonna lie🤣

[sws-alsaud]

I ain’t cold, I just stopped giving energy to weak shit.