Don't swallow the Razored Candy

DP here on a world that's so gay and ridiculously fab. Im no hero, and im not villian. IM THE MERC WITH THE MOUTH~ relationship: -it's complicated- M!A: -none- Want me to see something, tag it under as #dpler or #deadpooler

[dp-ler]

I Want Love

[jdj-industries]

luca: Eyes widening in surprised, he blinked a few times before replying.- Wow, he speaks! and yes, Jarvis did sent me in order to take his place but that’s because I volunteered U v U I’m getting paid in churros O v O 

[dp-ler]

Christophe: I see. *he murmured out as he rand his hands through his damp hair, gently pulling it back. With his hair slicked back, he has a lot of features that resemble Jarvis. The only difference is that Chris is more depressed around the eyes. He is a spitting image of his brother if he were upset* What is your name, boy? 

[dp-ler]

I Want Love

[jdj-industries]

luca: -stares back at the other, having a staring contest but blushes as the other reaches out to him and blinks, losing thee contest and huffs.- Dammit, and I thought i’d when too. -He pouted but smiled at the other, noticing what he had done- Thanks~. 

[dp-ler]

Christophe: *Nods then looks away and moves his hands to where he rolls on his belly and does a weak push up slowly then gets up and sits, using his bed board as a tool to help. When he sits, he lays back and looks at luca again. Adam's apple moves as he swallows thickly, about to speak through chapped lips*

Did Jarvis...send you? 

[dp-ler]

I Want Love

[jdj-industries]

Luca: fine, I didn’t want to shave him anyways. -stops and lets the other flop him on the bed before looking through the other’s clothes and finds him some nice comfy loose pjs to stick him in and frowns- You really do look like you lost weight, these are super baggy. MAKE SURE WHATEVER YOU MADE IS YUMMY AND FULL OF PROTEIN BALDY, THAT MEANS NO PANCAKES -he shouted from the other room, accusing the other of having bad morals- 

[dp-ler]

*It was true, he hadn't gone eatting for the most 3 days at a time until ARON had made him eat. His robotic home worries as he watches Wade and Luca do their 'job'* 

Chris: *looks at Luca, eyes staring at the other* 

DP: SHUT UP FOO. I KNOW WHAT IM DOING. mudderfucka. 

Chris: *hand reaches out the tuck some of the wigs loose strands behind Luca's ear* ....

[dp-ler]

I Want Love

[jdj-industries]

Luca: -giggling at the other maid, he watches and waits until he’s done then goes over and soaps ups chris’ face then begins to shave it with a hum, getting off all the hair with only one tiny scrape and then does his armpits and legs, frowning at them.- I better be getting paid in churros. hmph U n U 

[dp-ler]

DP: Woooah! Hey, hey! You cant shave a mans leg hairs or armpits, what's wrong with you?! You realize Christophe is a boss ass bitch and needs his sassy hair? >:U 

Christphe: *glad wade stopped Luca from having his entire body. It takes him MONTHS to grow it in. He's sad luca even shaved all of his beard* 

DP: Now come on. Help me get him out and clothe him. He's such a useless vegetable. = n= *lifts him up with a grunt* Hm...he's lighter. I'll make him food, you cloth him. *drops him on the bed, still wet* 

[dp-ler]

I Want Love

[jdj-industries]

Luca: -Wearing a maids outfit and a wig, getting into character- Right, on it boss! -he chimed, shuffling in and looked around, exploring until seeing the hobo, eyes wide and gasps- …. that’s jarvis’s TWIN?! no way! -he tutted, shaking his head while searching his purse for a razor and held it out triumphantly- alright baldy, hold him down for me, let the expert do his thing~~ i’ll make sure to shave the rest of him then trim him up too U v U  you can do all the dirty work~~ that’s not my thing. 

[dp-ler]

DP: *gasps when he sees the other in a maids outfit then does a quick tornado change into a maid outfit* 

I do the dirty work because I am BEST maid~ Out of the way, shrimpy wanna be. I am a PROFESSIONAL. 

*Washes Christophe with a luffa, soaping him down then looks at his cock and makes a face* 

No homo, bro

*scrubbing it down and even between his butt cheeks* 

Chris: *In takes a sharp breath, it feeling uncomfortable* 

[dp-ler]

I Want Love

DP: *smiles over his shoulder at the younger, putting his hands on his hips* Well, I got the big lug of hobo-ness in the tub. Just gotta help me wash him up then you can shave his ugly stash. He does NOT have the right complexion for that scruffy shit >:C 

Christophe: *Looks at luca with a deadpan look on his face, eyes filled with betrayal. His actions make it seem as if he's brain dead and doesn't know what is going on. Which, he doesn't. He's too much in emotional pain to respond or ask question* 

Who's.....why are you in my home? Just leave me alone, I dont need pampering

*He said in his head, becoming agitated* 

[dp-ler]

I knew this would happen. We both did. That someday, one of us would be taken away by someone else that wasn't...us. I just...never realized how much pain it'd put me through....I smell. My hair is greasy and I have a beard....I bet I look dreadful. Nnngh...

This blasted migraine won't leave me. And all I see is a mix between cheap 3D and blur. And my heart is throbbing in my ears...I hate this feeling. My body feels so cold and my heart feels like it's threatening to vomit it'self out. I've shed too many tears already to cry any more. 

Hmn...have I eaten yet? I don't remember. 

God....when I think of him...when I think of my beloved brother, all I feel is constriction to my chest to the point where I can't breathe....He..He doesn't want to share? Why? Am I not a good lover to him....I could care less about his lovers...Unless...that's what he wants..he WANTS me to love them the way he loves them...How does he love them? ....

More than me?

Sudden knocking

YOOOOO Hey! Hobo! Get out of there! You've been cooped up for 7 weeks >:U Don't make me break this damn metallic door down! I can do it! 

Who?...Who's that? They sound as if they're in a long tunnel....The door, right. 

Slowly opens the door, peaking out

Oh...It's Wade. Why is he here? I didn't give him a mission, did I?

Eeewyyy...You're a smelly fella, arent ya? Come on. You look like Viggo Mortensen in the role of Hidalgo, and THAT wasn't pretty O HO 

What is he talking about? Why can't I tell him to shut up? My eyes hurt and my mouth feels tense....hhhnn..I guess I'll let him shower me if he doesn't mind it. 

[queen-ler]

Let Music move You

18/ ☿ / Louisiana Welcome to my blog~

MOD: My personal blog for any of you who are curious

[dp-ler]

MOD: \o 7 o/ followwww

[deadpooloclock]

Can /I/ have cute lovey-dovey gifs if I say I LOVE YOU o 7 o <333

Of course you can! Aw you made my heart feel gushy ;c:

[dp-ler]

*smooches* 

o 7 o 

[dp-ler]

(( mod took this pic from my comic Wolverine Origins #21. Really upsetting to know that the all witty Merc with the Mouth feels this way : ( ))

[readbetweenthecards-archived]

Leave the 4th wall alone.

Could the day get anymore boring? Well, yes it could. So possibly the question that is wanted to be asked is- Is there anything that could make the day less boring?

Chevali sighed and tugged at her maroon hair, suddenly realizing how long it was getting. She really should cut it again. Another sigh, more aggravated.

"Oh the spirits certainly hate me today! Not like I would really enjoy something extremely unexpected or entertaining to show up right now. Possibly just fall from the sky maybe?!"

Her mare snorted at her.  "Geh. What I would give to have a little entertainment right now."

[dp-ler]

Oh ho ho~ You could always just say my badassery name, but that works too~ 

*stands behind her, leaning over her door frame non nonchalantly and winks* 

Yo~ Name's Deadpool. How about you and I go reek some havoc or uh *looks the other up and down* 

play around under the bed sheets?~ 

[inboxideas]

Send me "ff+" and a character name and my character will react to finding and reading a graphic and sex-filled fanfiction of themselves and that character.

requested by anonymous as reversal to this meme.

[who-the-hells-bucky-barnes]

[lkikai]

some old pics =w=

[astridyyx]

the last one of my team red series postcards!

deadpool is such a cutie pie!! ^qqqqq^

[cooru58]

the winter soldier.

[semistable100yearold]

Oh look. The bum that doesn't wash his nasty ass ranky hair >:U C'mere boy. Let me shower you down with the garden hoes >:Y *turns on garden hoes* C'mere. C'mere nasty homeless person o 7 o *coos at like a dog*

You come any closer and I’m going to cut off your hand.

[dp-ler]

Ooh RUFF! Fiesty~ *brow waggle* 

Guess i’ll have to neuter this pup….

*pounces*

MEOW! HSSS 

C’MERE AND SHOWER, NASTY! 

[semistable100yearold]

What the hell?! [Pulls out his knife]

[dp-ler]

*takes out his own weapons*

C'MERE BUCK-O! I'LL FUCKING SHOWER YOU WHETHER YOU'RE ALIVE OR ...dead. o u o <3