18 | NOTE : Iโm not writing anymore. I just lurk arnd tumblr at this point to reblog shit from time to time, still open for dms though. THIS BLOG WILL NOW SERVE AS AN ARCHIVE
โฆ..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.ย
I suggest opening something like a kofi or a gofundme so that your supporters that can contribute donations can help with some expenses for alternative housing
So, I actually thought a lot about this and decided to do it.
Thank you for suggesting it. I know Iโm not exactly the best at accepting help easily, but the truth is that I do need it right now.
Please only donate if you are over 18 and if it is money you genuinely do not need. Do not donate anything that would affect your own safety, bills, food, rent, or personal needs. Your stability comes first, always.
To anyone who helps, whether by donating or simply sharing, thank you so much. It truly means a lot to me.
Iโll leave the link below this post, but again: please do not donate money you need.
Just saying..,itโs been about a year since i reblogged this and life has been falling in place in unexpected potato-like waysโฆ Iโm not gonna say for sure this works but Iโd advise you to reblog itโฆalso Iโll reblog againโฆnot because Iโm greedy but to support!
the golden pot actually works. I reblogged it and the next day got an award at school. reblog the golden potato. and golden potato zefron because he is amusing
โAzul Ashengrotto x GN! Reader
โAngstย
โIn which Azul asks (Name) for a dance... for old times sake.
โCW : Angst, Argument, & Breakup.
โNote : For any flashback to occur there will be an indicator marked before it.
โWord Count:ย 1016
You always found the saying โFor old times sakeโ somewhat poetic. Perhaps it was the way the words carried such yearning for the love that once was there, or perhaps it was the way those words held so much anguish that the feeling burned through the soul.
The meaning behind those words always fascinated you, and in all honesty, Azul never understood your fascination, he never understood the true depth those words held, he never understood the anguish he would feel uttering those wretched words to you.
He never understood until he had to say those words to you to simply buy more time. To steal your gaze one last time. To hold you in his arms before you left for your world.
Truth be told Azul never expected that he would need to say those words to you, for he always thought he could call you, his.
โFLASHBACKโ
โAzul, you and I know damn well Iย canโtย leave my whole fucking life behind for you.โย You argued with him, asย much as you lovedย himย youย canโtย give up your life back in your world, afterย all, it was your entire life.
โWhat do you mean youย canโt?! You promised me (Name)!โย Azul fought back, anger and sorrow lacing his words.
โAzulโโ
โNO, YOU PROMISED MEย YOUโDย STAY AND YOUย WOULDNโTย LEAVE ME LIKE THE RESTโโ
โWELL, THEN I LIED! I lied,ย okayย Azul?ย That promise was only feasibleย at the timeย because it was before Crowleyย evenย knew it was possible to send me back home.ย It was when weย werenโtย sure I would even be able to go back!โย You cried out, your chest heaving up and down as the adrenaline flowed through your veins.
โSo what, you get a chance to go back to that damned world of yoursย andย you immediately go and leave me?โย Azul asks, his voice getting weaker.
โYES! Azulโฆย I have friends and family back in my world, Iย have a whole life back in my world! Everything that practically ever raised me is back there!โ
โAnd what about me (Name)? What about me?โย Azul retorts, his voice cracking in the process.
โWhat about youย Azul?!ย Thisย is my life!ย If you think you have a say in whether I go back homeย orย notย thenย youโremistaken.ย Iย wonโtย let you dictate whether or not I stay in this twisted wonderland with you, Azul!โย You spat out, your voice laced with hurt and venom.
Azul scoffedย โSoย all that talk of you saying you loved me and that youย wouldnโtย dare abandon me like the rest was a lie,ย wasnโtย it?โ
โYeah, I suppose it was. Sevensย Iย canโtย believe I loved someone like you. Sometimesย Iย yearn that our worlds never collided and that we were simply stars never to align.โย You cursed, covering your face with your hands.
Oh.ย Oh.
Azul froze when you said that, youย looked so cold and unforgiving as you uttered those words at him, youย didnโtย even look sorry as his eyes started to well up with tears.ย
โYouย donโtย mean that (Name)โโ
โIย thinkย itโsย time for you to go Azul.โ
โ(Name) pleaseโโ
โGet out Azul.โ
โ(Name)ย donโtย do thisย pleaseย Iโโ
โGET OUT!โ
โFLASHBACK ENDโ
The day before youย leftย he took his chance for a one last time, heย appeared outside your dorm, a shell of what used to be a smug man.
โCare for a dance? For oldย times'ย sake?โย He utters, his lips tremble in fear of rejection, in fear ofย not getting his one last time.
In all hisย lifeย nothing has ever hurt him more than uttering those words to you and seeing the reluctance in your gaze. Seeingย the wayย youโreย about to sayย โnoโย and shut the door on him. Soย likeย the pathetic man he is, he begs, he begs for a one last time.
โPleaseโฆย Iโllย beg if I must please I-, just one last dance (Name)ย thatโsย all I ask.โ
You sigh, nodding as you give in to his sorrowful request,ย โFor old times sake, Azul.โ
He takes your hand and guides you to what used to be your spot, a place hidden along the coast of the Isle of Sages,ย a placeย he often took you to watch the sunset.
The hues of oranges started to illuminate the sky as you two swayed to the sounds of the ocean waves.
โโฆYou knowโฆย Iโmย not going to get better without youโฆโย Azul whispered, his voice shaky and teary.
โIย know.โย You whispered back, holding him softly to at least give him this solace.
โIs there anything I can do to change your mind?โย He asks, pleading for a way to make you stay with him.
You shake your head,ย youโveย made up your mind, you were leaving himโฆย you were going home.
Azul sighs as he looks at you, tears cascading down his face as his lips trembleย โIย love you (Name)โฆโ
You look at him with pity in your eyesย โIย loved you tooย Azulโฆโ
As you look overย atย theย horizonย you notice that the sun has almost setย โContinueย to admire the sunset for meย Azulโฆ afterย allย the sunset is beautiful,ย isnโtย it?โย You say, pulling away from him, giving him one last apologetic smile.ย โIโmย sorryโฆโย You whisper, letting a single tear fall down your face.
And with that, he finally shatters and falls to his knees as the distance between you both grows farther, hisย continuous sobs grow more pitiful as he watches you walk away.
The day came when you finally left, and yet as the days after that passed he read your love letters every single night and prayed to the sevens that youโll come back to him. Yet deep down he knew you were happy back home, your home.
Yet still, even so, his love for you would always be timeless, even if yours wasnโt.
It simply wasnโt meant to be, after all his tale with you was a story of a romance torn apart by fate.
The creation of this fanfic was souly based on one of @taruruchi โs reblogs *hearts and kisses*.
Also funfact! The phrase โthe sunset is beautiful isnโt it?โ is a way of saying that even though the relationship is ending, there as still good memories ( Quoting Google ).
โIn which Vil starts to questions whether or not he truly yearns to be on the stage.
โCW : Angst
โWord Count :ย 367
Vil Schoenheit was never one to be easily shaken by interviews, yet it was this one question that had him questioning himself and his life. One question that started this raging war inside his mind. It was nothing but a wretched question.
โDo you ever plan to return to acting?โ
It was a question that shouldโve been so easy to answer, it shouldโve been answered with the one word people were expecting, the answer shouldโve been โyesโ, yet when receiving that question he frozeโฆ he didnโt know what his answer to that question was, and it terrified him.
Hurry up theyโre waiting for an answer!
He realizes it was the first time in his life that he has ever questioned his career and it shook him to the core that he would even dare question the path set out for him.
It was his life, his ENTIRE life, his purpose was built on the characters he brought to life on the stage. The sets of the myriads of stories he starred in could practically be called home, so why? Why was he questioning the place he should be calling home?
Was it ever truly a home?
After years of chasing the role of the hero in the stories told, he supposes he grewโฆ sick of itโฆ sick of chasing this simple dreamโฆsick of stardom, sick ofโฆ living like this.
Vil Schoenheit always told himself never to stray from the art of the stage, yet perhaps as the years went on he found himself straying from the spotlight that he once yearned for.
The clock was ticking, they seemed impatient!
Perhaps after all this time the joy he found bringing these stories to life diminished, perhaps this wasnโt his callingโฆ perhaps acting was never supposed to BE his life and simply just A PART of it.
โMr. Schoenheit, your answer to the question please?โ The interviewer pries, tapping her pen impatiently on the arm of her chair.
Vil glances at her and responds with an answer that the audience would never expect โNo I will not be returning on the stage, acting is not something I yearn for anymore, โฆ I believe Iโm starting to get sick of stardom.โ
One night I found myself contemplating if I should continue writing after all this time, and unlike Vil in this story, my answer is a yes. I do believe this isnโt my best work and I hope I havenโt lost my touch - Mika
โIn which Vil starts to questions whether or not he truly yearns to be on the stage.
โCW : Angst
โWord Count :ย 367
Vil Schoenheit was never one to be easily shaken by interviews, yet it was this one question that had him questioning himself and his life. One question that started this raging war inside his mind. It was nothing but a wretched question.
โDo you ever plan to return to acting?โ
It was a question that shouldโve been so easy to answer, it shouldโve been answered with the one word people were expecting, the answer shouldโve been โyesโ, yet when receiving that question he frozeโฆ he didnโt know what his answer to that question was, and it terrified him.
Hurry up theyโre waiting for an answer!
He realizes it was the first time in his life that he has ever questioned his career and it shook him to the core that he would even dare question the path set out for him.
It was his life, his ENTIRE life, his purpose was built on the characters he brought to life on the stage. The sets of the myriads of stories he starred in could practically be called home, so why? Why was he questioning the place he should be calling home?
Was it ever truly a home?
After years of chasing the role of the hero in the stories told, he supposes he grewโฆ sick of itโฆ sick of chasing this simple dreamโฆsick of stardom, sick ofโฆ living like this.
Vil Schoenheit always told himself never to stray from the art of the stage, yet perhaps as the years went on he found himself straying from the spotlight that he once yearned for.
The clock was ticking, they seemed impatient!
Perhaps after all this time the joy he found bringing these stories to life diminished, perhaps this wasnโt his callingโฆ perhaps acting was never supposed to BE his life and simply just A PART of it.
โMr. Schoenheit, your answer to the question please?โ The interviewer pries, tapping her pen impatiently on the arm of her chair.
Vil glances at her and responds with an answer that the audience would never expect โNo I will not be returning on the stage, acting is not something I yearn for anymore, โฆ I believe Iโm starting to get sick of stardom.โ
One night I found myself contemplating if I should continue writing after all this time, and unlike Vil in this story, my answer is a yes. I do believe this isnโt my best work and I hope I havenโt lost my touch - Mika
; best read while listening to โ family line โ by conan gray
I was always a jealous person.
I was jealous of my cousins who were always the stars of the show.
I was jealous of the way they have skills I cannot even begin to have.
From cheer captain, to modeling student, to being an entrepreneur, they get attention I can only DREAM of.
I was always a jealous person.
I was jealous of my cousins who were close.
I was jealous of the way they bantered and understood each other.
I was jealous of how they were close because of their age.
I was jealous because they had someone to relate to.
I was always a jealous person.
I was jealous of my cousins and the connections they had.
I was jealous of the way they grew up together, with each other by their side and here i am another world apart.
I was jealous because I knew I could never be as good as them.
I was always a jealous person.
I was jealous because of the way my cousins comforted me.
It seemed so sincere, yet it still burns within my soul as if a flame waiting to explode.
After all if they truly meant it, then why did it still hurt so much.
