draurer

i'm a little obsessed, and it shows

[draurer]

Sorry for the pointless and merciless shitpost about Perciver

I'll do it again (many times)

[draurer]

Percy Weasley is the father of two daughters, so everyone knows that he watched Frozen at least 3 times

However, no one (expect his husband) knows that he watches Frozen alone, without his daughters, and blurs his wet eyes with a handkerchief, because on a deep level he associates himself with Elsa and tears up every time Anna (the noisy red-haired younger sibling) sacrifices life for her

[exhaustedteareader]

I need Perciver fics so bad it feels like I’m missing an organ

[draurer]

Percy seems to be perceived as the most asexual of all the Weasleys, and his siblings probably think that he plans sex in advance, checking his schedule – strictly in the bedroom and preferably without light

actually, he's not asexual – he's just a little conservative and prefers not to talk about his intimate affairs, and he just doesn't look like a man with high libido

but as soon as this man sees Oliver walking around the house in boxers with his mouth-watering toned ass, big pectoral muscles and strong arms, his pupils dilate, he locks the door (not for decency, but so that Oliver does not escape), turns the photo of his parents to the wall and prepares to ruthlessly devour this hot Scotsman, who was unlucky enough to be on the path of a feral wolf in winter famine

[draurer]

i really love it when perciver are presented realistically, like grown men who grew up in the 80s – which they are

i love their flaws as people and I think about their flaws as a couple

and you know what? Living together for 20-30 years and not going through a crisis is impossible shit that I refuse to believe in

they are together 24/7, they have been living in the same space since the age of 11, they spend weekdays and vacations together, they have raised daughters, they are spouses and best friends for each other, and AT THE SAME TIME (as it seems to me) they are not the kind of people who will change a lot over the course of their lives – just imagine the same person next to you EVERY DAY

i think they would have had enough of each other at some point. they have nothing to talk about, they don't want to have sex, their daughters have grown up, they know each other's opinions on everything and they know each other by heart

they just exist in the same space

it would actually help them to be apart for a while, just take a break, completely absorbed in their favorite things (working for 12 hours with a short break for sleep), communicating with people from their professional fields and possibly visiting new places

oliver would go to work as a guest coach for the whole summer at some Quidditch camp in Europe, Percy would finally be able to live alone and spend the night at work, forgetting about household duties. this is not the kind of thing they discussed – it just happened, and from the outside it looks like the beginning of the end and the approaching divorce.

it would really worry the Percy siblings or Molly/Lucy, but in fact it eventually came to

«I think... I miss my wife 🥺»

because um

you know

soulmates

all roads lead them to each other

when you're apart, you begin to realize how important your loved one is to you, who seemed like just a part of everyday life.

so no divorce. only hot sex at the reunion and long hugs afterwards.

[draurer]

no really you WOULDN'T LIKE being friends to Percy or Oliver in real life, you WOULDN'T BE ABLE to stand it

these are two obsessed people, all you would hear from Percy is complicated legal information, laws laws laws amendments laws projects deadlines ministers departments reports paperwork + a little gossip about subordinates

i think Percy doesn't have the most developed emotional intelligence in relation to anyone other than his closest ones, social connections are not very important to him if you don't work with him or aren't his family

he works 8-9 hours a day and he LOVES it, he wouldn't bother to tell you about your worries or a new hobby

after all, he's a man from the 80s. what do you expect from a man from the 80s?

Oliver is not better than him – I even think that he could be the very adept of a healthy lifestyle who is insanely obsessive and a bit stubborn, he exists in his information bubble of Quidditch and sports games, he surrounds himself with people just like him, and he hardly needs anyone else besides his friends from the team and his husband

he GETS TIRED of the attention paid to him as a player, he will not initiate a meeting or communication himself, he will promote proper nutrition and active sports for you, he can reduce any conversation to "yes, that's cool, I had it at one of the games, I'll tell you. . ."

only they are able to stand each other, after 20+ years of communication and living together, they are already immune to each other's shortcomings

i love it when they're not perfect. i love it when they're complicated people. i love it when they're unbearable. i love it when they're self-centered. i love it when they are careerists and adore their work. i love it when they don't hear other people. i love it when they hardly notice their flaws.

i love it when they're surprisingly different and surprisingly the same. «soulmates in every universe» or something like that

[draurer]

perhaps, Bill looking at his brother, who talked 90% of the time only about work – his projects, his colleagues, his plans for the next quarter, his reports, his boss and subordinates, is trying very hard to understand why this office rat started dating a hot quidditch star

and then, for the first time, he talks for more than 10 minutes with that "hot quidditch star" – and 90% of the time he talks about his matches, his training, his injuries, his team, his opponents, his upcoming games and his victories

and Bill be like

ah, that's why.

if these two hadn't started a relationship with each other, then their other possible partners would have been deeply unhappy, tired, and exhausted people

[347-emeraldbitch]

Bill & Charlie: Four eyes and you still couldn’t see your boss was a fool.

Percy: Forgive me for wanting job security. Not all of us can leave the country.

Bill & Charlie:*gasp*

Percy: What? The truth hurts?

[draurer]

Percy & Oliver rarely declare their homosexuality openly, – I mean, they don't hide their relationship and marriage, but they won't talk about it until someone asks them, – but they do nice little things in pride month

For example, Oliver, as a famous keeper, specially kisses her husband in front of the cameras of journalists, Percy puts a small rainbow flag on his desktop. At home, Oliver wears a big T–shirt with some silly inscription - "I support gay rights (and gay wrongs)". Percy allows his daughters to paint his index, middle and ring fingers with varnish in the colors of the bisexual flag.

They bake not the most successful, but very sweet cake with rainbow sprinkles. They throw a house party with homemade wine and a bespoke meal with Penelope and Audrey, or with the Weasley-siblings if one of them is also queer.

They don't have time to think about their sexual orientation on normal days, but in pride month they remember that it's not really a shame, it's not a bad thing, and they are loved for who they are, and they have the right to love each other. And yes, it is very pleasant.

[draurer]

I think a lot about what Percy and Oliver's wedding should look like, and every time I have too many ideas about it (at the same time I have almost none), but the only thing I'm sure of at the moment is that Oliver and Percy will really fight over whose best man Charlie will be

For Percy, it's obvious that he's a beloved older brother, an authority figure, someone who's half as weird as he is

For Oliver, he is the first team captain, coach, mentor, role model in his life, as well as the one who saw Oliver always following Percy with a longing look.

They just can't share him, and yes, most likely they will be forced to appoint him ringbearer so as not to quarrel enough to break off the engagement, but in the end Charlie will run to check on his younger brother (who is getting married today, OH GOD, how quickly they grow. . .), then to his quidditch-protege (he will OFFICIALLY become part of the family!!!)

He'll need about two days off after this wedding

[callmesel]

I can already picture Charlie giving the most wonderful speech about how he saw their relationship develop and that he is just happy that two of the dearest people in his life are getting married.

I just see the twins giving a speech after saying that they knew all along and they were the ones trying to set them up together since their third year.

[draurer]

Charlie's dragons thought they were his first children, but in fact Charlie's first children were Oliver and Percy. . . . .

And yes, the twins take out a huge 2-meter-long parchment and start reading out every quote from Percy since the third year when he said that 1) he isn't gay 2) he doesn't like Oliver Wood 3) he WILL NEVER date Oliver Wood in his life

Percy and Oliver's moms wipe away their tears together, because Oliver finally has someone who will force him to eat vegetables all his life, and Percy has someone who won't let him rot at work

I can really talk a lot about how their loved ones reacted to their wedding.

[draurer]

I think a lot about what Percy and Oliver's wedding should look like, and every time I have too many ideas about it (at the same time I have almost none), but the only thing I'm sure of at the moment is that Oliver and Percy will really fight over whose best man Charlie will be

For Percy, it's obvious that he's a beloved older brother, an authority figure, someone who's half as weird as he is

For Oliver, he is the first team captain, coach, mentor, role model in his life, as well as the one who saw Oliver always following Percy with a longing look.

They just can't share him, and yes, most likely they will be forced to appoint him ringbearer so as not to quarrel enough to break off the engagement, but in the end Charlie will run to check on his younger brother (who is getting married today, OH GOD, how quickly they grow. . .), then to his quidditch-protege (he will OFFICIALLY become part of the family!!!)

He'll need about two days off after this wedding

[draurer]

I need to brainstorm about perciver, I need TO DISCUSS THEM WITH SOMEONE

In the absence of other people's hc and ideas, I feel like a madman in a soft white room, shouting "PERCY" and "OLIVER" alternately, and the orderlies are trying to inject me with a sedative

[draurer]

Oliver Wood is the type of husband who gives his partner his entire salary because all he needs is broom polish and caramel popcorn sometimes, while his partner (Percy) needs about the whole world (he grew up in poverty, it's not curable)

[draurer]

Before Percy and Oliver could legally get married, they wore small pieces of clothing in public that denoted their belonging to each other

A gold brooch in the shape of two crossed reeds on Percy's work robe, the classic Weasley sweater in which Oliver goes out in public, a small embroidered w² [a ADORE representing "weasley-wood" as w²] somewhere on the bib of a quidditch uniform, a picture of the Puddlemere United team on Percy's desk in his office

The jacket or coat with tartan that Percy wears in the colder months, – because you can't convince me that Oliver isn't Scottish

T-shirts with a large image of a weasel on the back, – because Oliver finds it funny

They're such husbands.

[draurer]

I am completely destroyed by the concept in which an adult Percy Weasley occasionally uses the services of metamorphs very awkwardly and very guiltily so that they turn into Oliver [of his school years, because it is too boring for him to look at an adult Oliver] and he had the opportunity to spend several hours with him doing something he never dared to do [this was the end of his personality]

It hits me in the chest and makes me lie without breathing, because the adult perciver, who have never been able to be with each other, are too unbearable

[callmesel]

It looked better when I did this at 1 am

[draurer]

CHARLIE AND PERCY FRATERNAL-BOND 🚨🚨

THIS IS NOT A DRILL, WE SEE CHARLIE AND PERCY FRATERNAL-BOND 🚨🚨🚨🚨

[ablique]

“He doesn’t know why, but leaving the burrow — even granted the circumstances — was freeing. Suddenly, he understands why Bill and Charlie left too.”

the lyrics come from “let down” by radiohead

semi inspired by @sillygoofygooberguy’s angel percy :3

i like the underpainting more unfortunately

[draurer]

when the time comes, I will fight to the death for this artist.