Could I ask, do you prefer non-con over anything else? I’m also not trying to come across as judge mental, I do enjoy non-con from time to time but if it’s a yandere fic I guess I prefer dub-con(?) or something that leads to some form of both parties enjoying it, I guess I just don’t really see the full appeal of fantasizing about something you are outwardly writing about the reader not wanting to happen to them. Or is that kind of the point, that as you’re writing it, it is something you want to happen but on the surface it’s not said? I kind of just want to understand it more, because I do understand the lead up to the smut and the non-consensual attention and stalking and kidnapping, like i do very much enjoy that sort of writing, but I feel like when a fic ends with the reader in pain and feeling disgusted and the descriptions of them just being used (raped, to be blunt) it just seems like it’s true crime
On Aversive Noncon Fantasies
Excellent questions!
♡ Erotic vs Aversive Noncon Fantasies
To start off, I’ll lay forth something I’ve surprisingly never discussed before, which is erotic noncon fantasies versus aversive noncon fantasies.
Where most articles will refer to this as the two main genre types within noncon fantasies, I’d rather refer to it as the noncon fantasy spectrum, as most fics will be found somewhere in between both.
But, first things first, what exactly are erotic and aversive noncon fantasies?
Well, erotic noncon fantasies are fantasies that typically showcase noncon with low to moderate levels of fear in the victim and only light depictions of violence done to the victim, if any at all, but are overall defined by the victim's arousal—either welcome or involuntary—during the noncon scene.
This would be the type that appeals to you, dear Nonny.
Aversive noncon fantasies, on the other hand, typically involve noncon joined by high levels of fear and pain in the victim, with a graphic focus on violence and cruelty displayed by the aggressor, but are overall defined by the victim showing no signs of sexual arousal.
This last one would be the type of erotica you're questioning.
It can be a little confusing, though, since both erotic and aversive noncon fantasies are present in erotica meant to arouse those who fantasize about being the victim. However, these terms purely refer to the state of the fictitious victim in the fantasy, not the real person fantasizing, where, in an erotic noncon fantasy, the victim finds the rape somewhat arousing and erotic in some way, be it welcome or involuntary, while in an aversive noncon fantasy, the victim finds it to be horrific and disgusting, even while the person fantasizing either fantasy in reality finds both arousing no matter the state of the fictitious victim they’re immersed in.
Your question, then, is why a woman fantasizes about being a victim of noncon would do so, when the victim doesn’t secretly want it, comes around to enjoy it, or even enjoys it despite not wanting to. And why, if the person fantasizing is aroused, they still don’t want the victim they’re playing as in the fantasy to share that arousal.
It’s a fair question. Why would a woman be aroused by fantasising about not being aroused?
♡ A Form of Projecting
In a former Helpdesk addition called On Noncon/Dubcon as a Kink, I try to lay forth the most promising theories regarding female rape fantasies that I could think of. However, that discussion entails both erotic noncon and aversive noncon fantasies as a whole, and doesn’t really focus on the subject of aversive fantasies by itself.
The only theory in that addition directly connected to aversive fantasies is the Sixth Theory, which I called a form of projecting:
Fantasies of rape reduce the distress associated with sex, as it allows women to renounce any guilt they might feel, as they are not, in this scenario, responsible for what occurs. The logic here states that when we are forced into something, we’ll have a lesser need to feel shame about acting out our own desires.
Put simply, some women wish to maintain their innocence despite having carnal desires only satiated by means of sinful acts.
This reason specifically begs another question. Is there a lingering feeling of guilt and shame around female sexuality? To which I say, of course! Women are constantly met with disdain when they're open about their sexual desires. So, we’re left feeling a need to victimize ourselves, where transferring our own sexual desires onto another gives us permission to act them out without feeling guilty or dirty, because, inside this fantasy, it isn’t us committing the indecencies.
To put it in layman’s terms: Being turned on by freaky shit is a bitter pill to swallow, but it goes down very smoothly when you imagine you're being held at gunpoint.
And that’s the idea. By not being turned on in the fantasy, you retain your status as the pure and innocent victim.
♡ Reframing Trauma
Aversive sexual fantasies can also feel optimal for real-life victims of sexual abuse.
Now, don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying that victims of sexual abuse aren’t victims if they felt aroused during the abuse, as feeling aroused is a very natural and involuntary physiological response women get when threatened with sexual violence, and otherwise a natural human response to sexual stimuli, wanted or not—another point discussed in On Noncon/Dubcon as a Kink.
However, I know that many women, despite knowing this as a fact, still hold onto a lot of guilt and shame for having been aroused, as they feel as though their “status” as a victim is challenged by it.
And so, victims of sexual abuse may indulge in aversive noncon fantasies so that they can reframe what happened to them in a way that relieves them of that shame and guilt by imagining that they didn’t get aroused at all.
♡ The Madonna-Whore Complex
This is a male complex identified by Freud, where men can only see women as either saintly Madonnas they admire and therefore cannot desire or debased whores they have no respect for, and can therefore use/abuse sexually.
Freud initially dubbed it psychic impotence. He said, and I quote,
Where such men love they have no desire, and where they desire they cannot love.
But why am I bringing this up if it's a complex seen in men? Well, because I believe women share an equivalent.
We want to have a loving husband at home, the nice guy who takes care of us, respects us, provides for us, and is a good father to our children. And while we love this man, he isn't always the man we imagine in our sexual fantasies. Why?
Why are females sexually aroused by the idea of the bad guy?
There are, of course, a whole other plethora of theories regarding this. The most repeated is that women desire men of power and action, someone dominant and in control—an alpha, so to speak, even though it makes me cringe. And the bad guy usually portrays all of these traits.
Typically, in erotic noncon fantasies, the bad guy will become progressively softer for the reader, such as in the enemies-to-lovers trope.
However, in reference to aversive noncon fantasies, I'd say there's another selling point aside from bad guys being dominant, and that is the very fact that they are your enemy, and you don't love them, and because of that, there are no heartstrings causing something to feel icky or off when he's treating you like an object.
The truth for many women is that we don't want our loving husband to choke and spit on us, because he's our source of comfort and affection. And yet, we still have fantasies of being choked and spat on.
Of course, not everyone has this issue, this split between the affectionate and the sexual. Some couples manage to play Jekyll and Hyde, being one thing during the day and another thing come nightfall.
But not everyone is that lucky. And for those of us who aren't so lucky, it's not enjoyable to imagine a loving partner doing any of the kinky things we want done to us because his acting patronizing, disrespectful, or subjugating doesn't sit right with him being a loving husband.
And so, we want a bad guy whom we hate and who doesn't love us in turn either, because then nothing stands in the way of making the sex as depraved as possible.
♡ A Question of Higher Status
Additionally, regarding erotic and aversive noncon fantasies—though this isn’t always the case—I want to add that it’s typical in erotic noncon fantasies for the aggressor to be handsome and often well-off, while, in strict contrast, it’s usual for the aggressor in aversive noncon fantasies to be depicted as undesirable in some form of way, either by being described as ugly, poor, awkward, or possessing other qualities you’d ascribe to a “loser”.
This is interesting because it introduces another illogical aspect to aversive noncon fantasies. Not only do women get aroused by fantasizing about not being aroused, but they’re also imagining the opposite party as an undesirable partner they wouldn’t be attracted to in real life.
This makes it seem like aversive noncon fantasies aren’t really about sex at all. Surface-level, they aren’t erotic, and yet, they are arousing.
Why?
My theory is that it’s an ego boost. And by that, I mean that it’s about women wanting to have a higher status than men. And that having this higher status stimulates women, not sexually, but egotistically within a sexual framework, and even in a way that makes us feel acknowledged and seen and sanctioned.
Now, I don’t only mean higher status as in being richer or more popular—untouchable or invaluable—but also in the way that we want to be morally superior, graceful, and honorable, while the man is shown as the total opposite.
It’s a cryptic way for women to show their own superiority and disdain towards men by naming them inferior to females, calling men disgusting beasts incapable of self-control, and ourselves as desirable, divine creatures of all things beauty and grace.
It's not such an uncommon thing, if you think about it. Men get turned on by feelings of superiority, even in nonsexual displays, in the sense that they will see themselves as smarter, stronger, or more in control than women.
Well, women do the same. Only, we take it a step further. As the world has been and is in many ways still dictated by men, women romanticize that injustice through aversive noncon fantasies where our divine beauty and grace are being exploited by immoral dirtbags.
This, then, obviously introduces a victim complex as a coping mechanism, making aversive noncon fantasies a source of validation—men are bad because they use and abuse women, and women are good because we don't.
♡ The Never-Ending Question
As I say in On Noncon/Dubcon as a Kink, attempting to figure out female sexual psychology is the same as pulling hair from a clogged gutter and trying to undo all the knots.
It’s a web of contradictions. And honestly, just an impossible task altogether.
I also feel like I should clarify that I am in no way a psychologist or expert on the matter. I just happen to write a lot of this type of fiction, and these are the thoughts that have struck me during my nearly six-year journey of exploring the genre. Which is why I call my findings theories, not proven facts.
But anyway, hope this was insightful to your query!
♡ Lastly
To answer your very first question, I'd say yes, I do prefer writing noncon over anything else. But, whether I prefer aversive or erotic noncon, I don't think I have a preference.
Oddly enough, writing aversive noncon is more erotic to me, as it doesn't have much or any romantic feelings involved, allowing me to write disgusting thoughts without my view of how I want a loving partner to act getting in the way, because in this fantasy, he isn't a candidate for being a loving partner, but a disgusting pig I hold no affection for, which gives me room to make it as rough and kinky and all in all kind of gross as I want. You can say my Madonna-Whore complex is in full effect.
Differently, I find writing the erotic part of an erotic noncon fantasy kind of difficult at times. Not the sex, per se, but making that sex actually arousing. Because when I write erotic noncon fantasies, they're usually angsty in some twisted romantic way, making them more emotionally stimulating rather than sexually stimulating. This then typically makes the noncon mild and sort of sappy in a way.
But anyway! Now that I know what Nonny prefers, I'm interested to know...
FEATURING: chrollo lucilfer x fem!reader, former kurapika kurta x fem!reader
SUMMARY: sun and moon, dragon and phoenix, heaven and earth. in kakin tradition, a bonded pair is a union of opposites that make a perfect whole. you and chrollo lucilfer, though, feel like the exception, so ill-matched that it borders on divine irony. only the gods may know why you’re fated to one another.
GENERAL WARNINGS: fem!reader, kakin prince!reader, soulmate au, canon divergent, enemies to lovers, abusive relationship with tserriednich/grooming (not intended to be read as sexual), character death (not chrollo or reader), dark themes (carne levare, imperialism, etc), world & character building (i took some creative liberty with what we know for Plot purposes—particularly kakin, meteor city, the mafias, and many of the characters) angst with (mostly) happy ending, wc: 210k so far, 4 more chapters to be written. additional warnings to be added in each chapter.
AUTHOR’S NOTES: hi guys! im rlly excited to share this with you all, i hope you enjoy it im very proud of it. i don’t think i’ll be online much often anymore, but i always appreciate all asks and comments and i will read them all even if i’m not able to respond. i think some other important things to note: i have taken canon and changed a bit to fit what i had planned for this fic. it's nothing too drastic. some minor things about the set up of the succession contest & the princes being free to walk around instead of being confined to rooms. i fleshed all of the princes out a bit more obviously, particularly, benjamin, tserriendich, and luzurus, as well as king nasubi. i took some liberty with the eight queens as well. i switched up a little with the guardian spirit beasts because iirc, the princes can't attack each other bc of them. it diverges from canon pretty quickly, but i think that's to be expected with an additional prince LOL. some other things that i'm sure will be made clear throughout the fic. all this to just essentially warn you again that this is canon divergent, so i'd prefer if people didn't start commenting like "oh that's not how it works" dihfsdfuhasd because i probably am aware i just changed it for plot. i also want to add that reader is very flawed and its apparent early but becomes FAR more apparent in part 2 ….... just a warning
PART ONE: DIES LACRIMOSA
VERSE ONE: KATABASIS, OR JOURNEY OF THE FOOL
VERSE TWO: MATTHEW 10:34–36
VERSE THREE: WELL FED DEVILS AND FAMISHED SAINTS
VERSE FOUR: PARABLE OF THE TWO DEBTORS
VERSE FIVE: WATER OF THE WOMB, BLOOD OF THE COVENANT
VERSE SIX: WHEEL OF FORTUNE
VERSE SEVEN: THE IRON PRICE
VERSE EIGHT: THE HANGED MAN
PART TWO: DIES IRAE
VERSE ONE: WEEP LITTLE LION MAN
VERSE TWO: THE DEVIL
VERSE THREE: THE COWHERD AND THE WEAVERGIRL
VERSE FOUR: BLESSED BE, CHILDREN OF CAIN
VERSE FIVE: JUDGMENT
VERSE SIX: A NEW HEAVEN AND A NEW EARTH
VERSE SEVEN: REVELATION 6; COME YE, HORSEMEN
VERSE EIGHT: ANABASIS, OR DEATH OF A PRINCE
REQUIEM ARANEA, a series of scenes from chrollo's point of view
My biggest tip for fanfic writers is this: if you get a character's mannerisms and speech pattern down, you can make them do pretty much whatever you want and it'll feel in character.
Logic: Characters, just like real people, are mallable. There is typically very little that's so truly, heinously out of character that you absolutely cannot make it work under any circumstance. In addition, most fans are also willing to accept characterization stretches if it makes the fic work. Yeah, we all know the villain and the hero wouldn't cuddle for warmth in canon. But if they did do that, how would they do it?
What counts is often not so much 'would the character do this?' and more 'if the character did do this, how would they do it?' If you get 'how' part right, your readers will probably be willing to buy the rest, because it will still feel like their favourite character. But if it doesn't feel like the character anymore, why are they even reading the fic?
Worry less about whether a character would do something, and more about how they'd sound while doing it.
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