floatin'

dumps and sum of my shits belongs here

[girltalk]

𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑐 𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑔𝑦 ౨ৎ

[viletoilet-deactivated20220619]

[t-800]

whatever i’ll finger it all out eventually

[dream-frequently]

mum i made it

will u believe that ya girl got some wild progress? yas indeed. i did fucking made a progress man, i'm so happy and feeling such a growth in me.. lately, i've been thinking about myself and what i'm doing recent, and yo for real i'm having some goals i'm freaking striving GOALS!! such a cutie i am right lmao well yass tbh i'm hella feeling proud of myself.. doing some id shits and some govshits - and i know that's a growth.. i just need to be focus and not fucked by my anxieties - this is big deal for me cs maaaaaaan, i'm fighting my demons in my heads, the talkshits i'm having lmao..

all i need to do is to know myself, every words i know, every perspectives and principles i believe.. all i need is to balance them and i'm sure theres sense on it - been sad and down since then, this is the real shit that need to be happened - it takes a lot of sanity to be in this, at the same time i'm feeling something real.. u know that real bliss. - though i got so many issues and shits in myself but i know that i need this, this is the thing that missing in me.. - been alien since then haha and now this is what happened when you're outcast or different to those typical.. - i just wish that my intellectual guide me in this path that i'm striving.. i got this.

xxx

bless me with a lot of words of wisdom and knowledge. ~

[hipsthetic]

[zegalba]

Artwork by Andhika Ramadhian

[valhallv]

[sickpage]

[nelaime-deactivated20210509]

[the-science-llama]

[lonelycity]

jin

[love]

[dream-frequently]

nakakalitong buhay, nakakalito mabuhay ~

man its insane that i do many things that i can't believe i did when I'm mad, in pain, overthinking, sober and drowned by my own thoughts — like, mapapatanong nalang ako sa sarili ko na "ako ba yun?", "Ginawa ko yun?", "Paano nangyari yun?" Atbp. I'm even too sensitive and emotional, I'm not sure if normal pa ba yung ganon.. but i know some part of me is still aware — alam ko pa din naman ang mali at tama, alam ko pa din naman pag nakakasakit ako through physical at emotional sa tao, i still remember that I'm still human na nagkakamali at nagkakaroon ng mga flaws na ganyan.. — nagbibigay din naman ako ng compassion sa ibang tao, i give them hopes and love despite sakanilang pinagdadaanan, i even read books about life, positiveness and yes it for real helps — the book make me feel na its with me.. but the end of the day may mararamdaman pa din ako na parang may kulang sakin? Mapapatanong kung bakit ganyan ang mga nararamdaman ko — hindi ako naniniwala sa professional help, pero kung yun ang need ko bakit hindi mag try..

— nag try din ako na ibaling ang atensyon ko sa part time work pero there's a day na nagbbreak down ako while working, umiiyak at hindi mawari ang nararamdaman, nag try ako mag reach out sa tao pero ang nakuha ko lang na salita is baka daw hindi ako masaya sa trabaho.. — hindi ko rin masisi ang sarili ko.. I'm surrounded by a toxic parents, I'm the one who fixes their shits, ako rin halos ang nagbabalanse sa pamilya ko, even they think of me is nothing and nobody pero ramdam at kita ko naman at some part of them is mahal nila ako pero they can't give me what compassion nor companion i need.. —meron din ako nakausap, pilit naman nyang sinisisi sa mga substances na tini-take ko pero bakit hindi naman ganon ang nakikita ko sa mga yun? Nararamdaman ko din minsan na yung mga yun ang nakakatulong sakin, nagpapakalma o nagpaparamdam ng self worth ko at nagbibigay liwanag kung paano ako kinu-kunsumo ng mga nasa paligid ko? How is that... I even strive for my own will of positiveness, may time na naniniwala ako sa sarili ko at my oras din na hindi..

— to my friends who knows me by this shit or illness, salamat at na-aappreciate ko kayo sadyang mas malakas lang ang pag down nya sakin — hindi naman ako nagpapatalo sakanya kinakaya ko naman siya hanggat kaya ko pero may time lang din talaga na mas kinakain nya ako at napupunta 'to sa kung saan man, pasensya na din if some time madrama ang timpla ko sainyo.. — tinatanggap ko nalang din siya, iniisip ko nalang its my karma, sinisingil nya ako sa mga pinag gagawa ko nuon.. i know to myself that i can get through this but at the same time I'm getting tired.. nakakalito ang buhay, nakakalito mabuhay..

[dream-frequently]

Keep it clean ~ (at Worldwide) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXdiZuCvFta6XbLXkQsOYM5gZMzLZyzC1k_vFw0/?utm_medium=tumblr

[begun]

[boyx-deactivated20190424]

[defoluegolar]