a dream blog

just a diary but only for dreams. An abundance of nightmares, dirty dreams and nonsense. Will contain dreams about cheese tho.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

I've been on a family visit over the holidays and my boyfriend couldn't make it so someone else showed up as a substitute. It was - for some reason - the guy I hooked up with before (actually after, it's complicated) I met my boyfriend. I remember seeing my mom and my grandma sitting at the table at my grandma's place while lying on the couch with my companion. We started to cuddle and things got kind of steamy. We ended up having sex on the couch while my family was just in the room next door - with the door open. I still shiver.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

I was in a another town, but I don't exactly know where it was. I was in company of my best friend and I think there was another friend of mine but I don't recall who it was, to be honest. At one point, we all proceeded to go for a walk in the park, only for me to find out that there were hippos roaming around. (Note at this point: hippos are frequently appearing in my dreams.) I was shocked that they still wanted to go there and they brushed it off as if I said that there were squirrels roaming around. Well, we walked through the park and then I caught a glimpse of a hippo and the hippo also saw me and then the dream kind of ended there.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

I was heading to live in California with my boyfriend and my cats and I was so excited. We traveled by train only besides living in Europe because there was this massive tunnel under the sea which lead from Europe to the USA and I didn't question it any minute. Along the way on our journey I seemed to lost my cat and I freaked out. I was ugly crying and calling his name but I didn't find him. When we arrived we were greeted by several people and I finally found my cat who then shapeshifted to my mom's dog and back again to my beloved cat.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

I was somewhere in the woods, not alone but in a group of people I can't remember now. It was dark but somehow comforting, but not for long. Suddenly I was by myself in the middle of a glade covered in autumn leaves. I looked down and I saw a head. Literally a cut off head, all blue and weirdly shaped. Eyes wide open. I was horrified. The others came back but I couldn't bring myself to address what I just saw and I turned my back to the slowly rotting head lying in the middle of the woods, hoping the others wouldn't see. The dream kind of ended there.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

...In my dream, I took acid for the first time and I suddenly saw how people really looked like. The ones that took hard drugs and lived poorly and stuff all had a weary face with all of the proportions out of order. Some even had a swirl in the middle of their face. I felt physically sick while looking at them and I tried to avoid them but once in a while I accidentally caught a glimpse of a monster face and it all started again. I felt doomed. But also blessed is that's the right word. To be able to see another version of reality and to see the inner world of people through their appearance - and yes that's also the dooming part. Kind of like an forbidden apple thing.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

...I was having an affair with a stranger. I don't really know how it got the point of meeting him but I remember that a friend of mine insisted me on joining her on a double date just for the sake of being a counterpart but, well. I remember sitting there in a restaurant and this guy was sitting in front of me, he was charming, funny and didn't give two shits about what the world thought of him. I was actually really attracted to him and it wasn't the typical 'affair guy from longing dreams' but an average guy with a goofy smile and a good heart. Something happened which kind of upsetted me but I don't know what it was, I only remember that he was the reason I was so upset. When he knew that I was upset because of him - besides barely knowing me - he showed up in a fuzzy bear suit to cheer me up in public. He didn't care what anyone thought about him, he just wanted to make it up to me - and it worked. I was so flattered. It's been a long time since I felt that important to my significant other which is particularly the reason why I had this kind of dream. Anyway, I felt like being with him was just so easy and uncomplicated. And I was actually desired by him, and not just in a sexual way but as a whole. We somehow got to spend some time alone, in a basement with a mattress lying on the floor - romantic, I know - and I swallowed all my guilt of feeling drawn to him besides being in a relationship and just let myself go. It felt so good to get intimate with someone who actually longs for you and doesn't see you as a burden the entire time (yes, making remarks about my non-dream love life again, sigh). We got to the point of doing the deed and all my worries about doing the wrong thing somehow disappeared. It was our little secret and although I didn't have any plans on leaving my boyfriend for him at that time, I was just satisfied living in the moment with him. It was so pure. I started going out more, hoping he'd be there - and he was, because he wanted to see me desperately aswell. I remember how we booked a private spa only to find out that it was a whole ISLAND. It was a giant waterpark in the nature, in the middle of nowhere and there was this tiny island with hot tubs, saunas and so on. It was a little paradise. There was a sign at the beginning at the isle that said something like 'private beach, no trespassing unless you have tickets' and we did. We were both in the hot tub and it was steamy. Then all of sudden all the people from the regular waterpark went to the island and we were trying to scare them away and they eventually left. At the start of the aisle there were two celebrities waiting for our approval to join in. It was Miley Cyrus and Emily Osment for some reason. We said it was okay for them to join and they rewarded us with some dolphin floaties. I immediately got on top of my dolphin floaty and floated across the ocean while singing 'rape me' by nirvana and thinking about how when underwater animals die, they just simply sink to the ground. I thought about what it must feel like to simply not have the strength to get up for air and sink and die. Do they die while still in the part of the sea that's enlightened or do they have their last conscious moments in the vast darkness? My dream kind of ended with these thoughts.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

...I remember eating chicken. Like a rotisserie chicken. I've been going vegetarian for like 10 years now and I don't even know how it came to the point of me eating meat. My brother, mother and stepdad were also at the table and no one bat an eye at me for eating meat. It wasn't that good to be honest, well beside the skin. The skin was crusty and flavorful but also really oily. I even sucked on the bones and stuff. Maybe I've been eating too much carbs and not enough protein lately.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

...my boyfriend was tea-bagging me. That's it. It was hilarious tho. We both had so much fun. I've never laughed that much with balls all over my face.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

...I was at home throughout the whole dream but it was one of the weirdest dreams I've had lately. It started with us sharing a bedroom with my brother and a friend of him - which later was also the friend of my boyfriend. I remember watching TV and somehow get motion sickness to the point where I fell out of the bed and hurt myself. The dream was very eery itself do I can't remember it perfectly tho. At one point, early in the morning, I was laying in bed all tucked in under my blanket. The friend walked toward me - I think he had two other people with him - and started to get on top of me. He used my blanket like a straitjacket to pin me down. He pulled out a syringe filled with a clear liquid and forcefully emptied in my mouth. It was bitter and had a medical taste. I was TERRIFIED. I instantly made a voicemail for my best friend saying "They put some liquid into me... I'm scared." I thought about two scenarios in that moment.

1. It would instantly knock me out and he'd come back and do whatever his sick mind please to do with my unconscious body. 2. It was poison and would slowly kill me from the inside. Well, and I didn't know which was worse to be honest. Paralyzed from the fear of what just happened, I managed to get out of bed to vent to my boyfriend. I even saw the friend walking out of the flat like nothing happened with me bring furious about what the hell he put in that syringe. He simply smirked and said 'Well, what do you think did I do to your food all the time?' while leaving. It was a bone shivering fear and not even my boyfriend seemed to care about it. He even made jokes like 'Huhu was it cum?' and that's basically it. No one helped me and no one cared. And in retrospect, the motion sickness started to make sense now.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

...I was somewhere (I really don't know where or why) and it was a small contest situation. I don't even know for what. Anyway, after we were done, I needed to get to work. Standing there and waiting for the train, an old friend of mine - who was at some point years ago more than that and at the same time less - walked up to me. A girl followed him so I assumed that she's his girlfriend but they didn't really look like a romantic couple. The time passed and no train arrived. We heard that there's a problem with the rails and that it will take sometime to fix it. All throughout this time we were getting really close to eachother. Sitting on the ground and wrapping my legs around him and him leaning on me. Hugging eachother for a time so long that it's not considerately in public, to be honest. Dumping my face onto his shoulder and inhaling that moment. Little strokings. Eye locking. Little kisses coming from him. After a while I found myself in a hot tub. It must've been a spa because there were other people at some point but never him. I thought about him rushing in any minute now but he didn't. After I got out I realized that I'm already way to late for work. I somehow got home and realized that some coworkers including my supervisor was there. In my flat. I tried to make an excuse like "Well I'm sorry, I just got up because I have a massive headache and can't make it to work today." Without even questioning why they are all in my flat. My supervisor just turned her head at the piles of clean clothes that need to be put away and I instantly apologized for the mess. Again not questioning why they were even here. Well, I walked into my bedroom only to find another bed with and old and grunty old lady inside. She was screaming at me because I couldn't turn her light out but there were just so many buttons and switches. After this encounter, the dream kind of ended.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

...I didn't have dreams with a storyline for the past couple of days. I only dreamt small fragments of visualizations. I briefly remember my boyfriend licking my neck and me lactating. Happened totally separate from eachother tho. I also wonder how much time is actually spent dreaming like this, not the big capturing story, but only short fragments of something you love or complete nonsense. You might see your partner smile at you or just a bunch of delicious pancakes. I guess the majority of time is dreamt like that. I wonder if my boyfriend also sees short sequences of me when he's fast asleep, lying next to me while I do exactly that.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

...I was shopping for clothes with my boyfriend and I had to go somewhere else so I left him alone for a while for him to look for something he likes in peace. When I got back, I was driving like I was in the front seat of a getaway car. I got out of the car and walked up to my boyfriend only to discover that he was bald. He was at a hair salon and let them shave his head. I was to astonished to speak but I mean I love him like no other so I tried to cancel it out. We got to some park and sat down on a bench when I realized that his hair grew back already. Not as long and loucious as it is in reality but it was nice to see him having at least a bit of hair on his scalp, to be honest. Later when we got to another location which I don't even remember, his hair was already daintilisy falling into his face again and I was so happy about that. I'm so into him after all this time, it's embarrassing.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

...I was in the hospital I work at and some armed men broke into our building. It was a hostage kind of situation and I remember how my co worker and me were hiding under a desk, shutters down and trying not to make any sound. We even blocked the door with some cabinets and other furniture we could grab. Gadly, nothing happened to us but I was fearing for my life throughout the whole dream.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

...I was pregnant. Full on pregnant. 'My water could break my minute' kind of pregnant. And not to overdramatisize the whole scenario - but I was TERRIFIED. I was in a room with my mom and a few other women who all had children and went through this hell already and couldn't quite understand my fears. I went nuts about the fact that I have to give birth any minute now. I imagined the unbearable pain. The blood. The tearing. All the body fluids. I just wanted to stop this pregnancy but of course it was to late and I didn't feel like facing my fate so I spend the whole dream panicing and going on about how this whole thing ist totally inhumane. That's quite it actually. I'm glad I didn't go into labour in my dream because I don't know if my subconsciousnes might be capable of letting me think that I'm really going through it.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

...I was standing outside in some kind of garden or something like that. One of my co workers was there and also a priest. My co worker seemed to just have had a baby which was about the size of a mouse, holding it in upon her upper body. The priest then proceeded to start the 'babtizing ceremony', only then I discovered that there wasn't a basin or a small pond or something like that - but a huge hole in the ground. My co worker immediately threw (yes, literally!!!) her newborn baby into that pit. The baby didn't move or make a sound or anything and it was just BRUTAL. My co worker and the priest seemed kind of relieved that the ceremony took place and I just stood there in agony and disbelief.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

...I can't remember much but I was a 'butt double' for an 'a-class'-movie. Yes, a 'butt double'. Like, a stunt double but I was doing nothing else than showing my butt, which I'm grandiously good at. However, I didn't get any credit at all for my stake but it didn't bother me that much because at least I knew that it was my butt. Later in that dream I was walking around town with my boyfriend. It was actually a huge black market where you could buy fake identities, a lot of guns and other firearms and just really any ominous stuff you could imagine. That's where the dream kind of got crumbly. Yes, that's actually it because I can't remember anything else.

[dreamalittledreamofcheese]

...I was in the old hospital I used to work at a few years ago. Some random old lady, somewhere between her 60s and 70s, with short hair asked me for the way to the morgue. She handed me a huge urn and told me to take care of it on the way through the long hospital corridor with neon lights and filled with an unpleasant emptiness. There were stairs and I almost tripped and the urn fell to the ground. Thankfully the ashes remained inside and the urn wasn't broken but it still shivered through my whole body. We continued our walk and at some point I almost let it slip out of my hands again, at this time pointing out again that the urn was massive and weighted as much as a bowling ball. At that point the nice old lady was offering me to carry the urn herself from no on. That's when there were loud orchestral sound out of nowhere. The whole corridor was filled with the vibration. It was just the kind of ominous church music that's used in horror films. That's when I realised that the tunnel lead to the basement of the next door church and that the hospital morgue was located there for some reason. We got to the church and the lady thanked me for my help. The church was huge. There was also a washroom with washing machines and I imagined that the basement was also used for some rental flats or something. The dream kind of ended there but the atmosphere was all just bone shivering and upsetting.