[dreamersdiisease]

This drunken gem is from December, I believe. 😂 ❤

[saltycashew]

Concept: a relationship where you’re both equally obsessed with one another but still respect eachothers space. There is no lack of communication or trust. Lots of sex.

[theimaginarythoughts-deactivate]

Must be nice

[euxiee]

This sounds fake…but ok

[words-of-emotion]

[stone-monkey]

Hey Americans, the Uk will trade you our Royal Family for the Obamas. All of ours, even the kids. We’ll even throw in some of those “handsome” British actors you like so much, we don’t care. Hell, take the crown jewels too.

[bigmammallama5]

youll take the obamas from my cold dead hands theyre one of the few good things we have left right now

[ardhangini]

choose a partner who is good for you. not good for your parents. not good for your image. not good for your bank account. choose someone who’s going to make your life emotionally fulfilling.

[sw-or-gtfo-deactivated20211219]

my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator

my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency

they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”

and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”

and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”

“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”

“oh i’m having a heart attack”

my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes

like, “what is your emergency?”

“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”

“… is it… your blood?”

“yes i think so”

“do you know where it’s coming from?”

“probably the stab wound”

“have you been stabbed?”

“oh yah definitely”

[lizawithazed]

In all fairness shock is a hell of a drug

[selivakyle-archive]

Uptown funk would’ve made it onto the shrek soundtrack

[highkeysame]

that’s the truest statement i’ve ever read

[still--getting--there]

•luxury/summer blog,i follow back•

[aguaman-deactivated20170531]

[champagnepupi-deactivated202005]

why are his shoes on the wrong feet?

[nightgaunts-deactivated20161212]

this kid just can’t catch a break

[moondarkwolf]

[unshrink]

when someone compliments me and I don’t know how to react:

[leondore]

[seattle-natives]

mm, this look though

[tastefullyoffensive]

[davidragifs]

[butt-berry]

It’s Bulbasaur blooming season

[butt-berry]

Lots of variety this year!

[butt-berry]

A late bloomer!

[butt-berry]

Water-lily Bulbasaur catching up on the latest gossip at the lake

[butt-berry]

Wow, looks like thing are getting serious between hibiscus and fuchsia!

[sulettacore64]

this is pure and good

[weloveshortvideos]

My grandma lost her hearing aids

[dreamersdiisease]

Me: I am a smart and capable Adult.

Someone else: How about some Responsibility

Me: my name is Fuckup McDisappointment and you will address me as such.