As I breathe, I hope.

Wally | 20s | he/him, transmasc, fuck terfs || Ask me a letter in the alphabet, I'll tell you a fun fact! that is my party trick.

[wallywastaken]

No I'm not a dream person. No I've never watched a single minecraft YouTube video since the game came out. Yes I have had this username 2 years before that guy. Please I'm begging you, please,

[pukicho]

Tomorrow I will be inventing the wheel

[pukicho]

Dude, hold on

[systlin]

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

[ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis]

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

[systlin]

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

[systlin]

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.

[storm-of-feathers]

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary

[fallout-lou-begas]

a banana that perfectly meets your ripeness and texture preferences is literally the best fruit on earth. it's a shame that this is 0.0001% of all available bananas

[fallout-lou-begas]

[2colde]

they are poisoning us today with a thursday poison little do they know we’ve been through a few thursday poisonings so it won’t kill us just yet

[urgetocreate]

Erika Lee Sears, City Night Lights, 2025, Oil painting on cradled birch wood panel

[mumblesplash]

‘project hail mary is about the power of friendship’ ‘project hail mary is about hope’ ‘project hail mary is about accidentally becoming too important at work’ wrong wrong wrong you’re all wrong. project hail mary is about what it would take for a single man in his 30s to own a fully paid off beachfront property in today’s economy

[hiveswap]

It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny

[elliot-amy]

at my old job i had a coworker who was tired and made a coffee with like 6 or 8 shots of espresso and i just casually went up to them like “are you trying to meet god?” and not only was this absolutely hilarious to them but they brought it up in future conversations they thought it was so funny but to me this was just as casual as saying “woah that’s a lot of coffee”

[gastrointestinalhallelujahcannon]

Being funny on Tumblr and then going to be funny in real life is like traveling to a foreign country and baby the currency exchange rate is biased in your favor

[thatlittleegyptologist]

Clacton: Decision 2026

Flag Spaffing Cunt vs Count Binface

(For the uninitiated to UK politics: Yes these are the only two candidates for Clacton's MP. No serious party will run against the cunt because he's self aggrandising and only doing this to cover up money laundering and get sympathy for being a poor widdle persecuted man. Count Binface usually only stands in the constituency of the current Prime Minister for the bants, but in order to further humiliate Farage he's going to be the only candidate standing against him (also for the bants). Yes this is normal.)

[coldasyou]

How can I help you?

[distractionsfromthefood]

[sandmandaddy69]

[xximperioxx]

[stone-monkey]

Looks like Nigel Farage (UK far right dipshit and conman) has resigned as MP to trigger a by-election. He'll be running again in a stunt to bring attention away from his undeclared multi-million donations, and to potray himself as against the establishment.

...except none of the major political parties are running in this election, currently leaving one opponent:

Count Binface

[ceevee5]

I, for one, welcome our new intergalactic overlord from Sigma IX.

[no0dlru]

I mean his Makerfield manifesto at least is pretty appealing

Also I needed to find the bin lid because I couldn't wrap my head around how much breakfast we were talking, and

I mean, fair, that's a massive bap

[janusfnc14]

COUNT BINFaCE PLEASE

[skinlessbanana-deactivated20160]

[parakeet]

who's doing this