Alice

Join in my journey for searching of what I am and what I want.

[dreamofalicesworld]

Life isn't fair, Grace. I thought you'd know that better than most.

Crush (Crace #2) by Tracy Wolff

[dreamofalicesworld]

“You’re going to make friends, Felix,” he says, finally. “You will. You won’t have to work as hard at finding them as you will at keeping them, but I promise, it’ll be work worth doing.

A Little Life, Hanya Yanagihara

[dreamofalicesworld]

“You won’t understand what I mean now, but someday you will: the only trick of friendship, I think, is to find people who are better than you are—not smarter, not cooler, but kinder, and more generous, and more forgiving—and then to appreciate them for what they can teach you, and to try to listen to them when they tell you something about yourself, no matter how bad—or good—it might be, and to trust them, which is the hardest thing of all. But the best, as well.”

A Little Life, Hanya Yanagihara

[dreamofalicesworld]

I used to hope, I typed once, that I’d die before my partner, even though I knew that was selfish. I used to think that I hoped I’d die before she died and before the planet died and really just generally before things got any worse. I didn’t send this message, specifically because it seemed to imply that my views had changed, when they hadn’t.

Julia Armfield, Our Wives Under the Sea

[dreamofalicesworld]

When something bad is actually happening, it’s easy to underreact, because a part of you is wired to assume it isn’t real. When you stop underreacting, the horror is unique because it is, unfortunately, endless.

Julia Armfield, Our Wives Under the Sea

[dreamofalicesworld]

A ghost that speaks is just a demon, trying to tempt you into making that mistake.

Julia Armfield, Our Wives Under the Sea

[dreamofalicesworld]

“Ghosts don’t speak,” she said to me. “People misunderstand this. They think that when you’re haunted you hear someone speaking but you don’t. Or not usually. Most of the time, if you hear something speaking, it’s not a ghost – it’s something worse.”

Julia Armfield, Our Wives Under the Sea

[dreamofalicesworld]

My heart is a thin thing, these days – shred of paper blown between the spaces in my ribs.

Julia Armfield, Our Wives Under the Sea

[dreamofalicesworld]

Something I find incredibly boring, Sam said, is everyone’s conviction that love is different for them. Somehow harder. Do you know what I mean? I just don’t think it’s that complicated, honestly – if you’re with the wrong person, it’s hard. It’s just another way of thinking you’re special, the way everyone does when they’re a teenager. You think you aren’t able to love, except that of course you are. You think you aren’t able to love correctly or the same as everyone else, except that of course you are, you just haven’t had a chance to do it yet. You’re not special, you’re just waiting.

Julia Armfield, Our Wives Under the Sea

[dreamofalicesworld]

They told us hope wasn’t lost so often that it became impossible to live with it. It’s too hard, trying to exist between these poles of hope and death.

Julia Armfield, Our Wives Under the Sea

[dreamofalicesworld]

“Chronic bitch face is naturally distinct from resting bitch face, you know. It’s like a whole different ball game when you can’t turn it off.”

Julia Armfield, Our Wives Under the Sea

[dreamofalicesworld]

Sometimes I think you prefer it down there, I had said to her, holding her face in my hands and wondering whether I meant it to sound like a joke or reproach, you go so deep you forget you’re supposed to come back.

Julia Armfield, Our Wives Under the Sea

[dreamofalicesworld]

It would, I suppose, have been entirely possible to hit the sea bed without falling into one of the trenches, although looking out onto the blackness, I believed almost without question that we had fallen as far as it was possible to go. It was difficult to imagine anywhere deeper than the place we had ended up.

Julia Armfield, Our Wives Under the Sea

[dreamofalicesworld]

I want to explain her in a way that would make you love her, but the problem with this is that loving is something we all do alone and through different sets of eyes.

Julia Armfield, Our Wives Under the Sea

[dreamofalicesworld]

As we sank, I tried to recall this story, though as I did so I felt the strangeness of attempting to soothe myself with the very element currently building to unsurviveable pressure over my head.

Julia Armfield, Our Wives Under the Sea

[dreamofalicesworld]

I don’t remember thinking we would die, so much as noting that we wouldn’t be able to come back up again. I don’t remember thinking we could fix things, only wondering what would happen next.

Julia Armfield, Our Wives Under the Sea

[dreamofalicesworld]

People grow odd when there’s too much sky – they lose the sense of land around them, think themselves into floating away.

Julia Armfield, Our Wives Under the Sea